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In Love With Different Sex Drives, My Wife Gave Me A Pass


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

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Old 28th January 2018, 1:04 PM   #46
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Look, anything's possible I guess, but I'm pretty confident that's not the case. We both run our own businesses from home, so we pretty much know where the other one is 24/7. If anything, we may spend too much time together. haha
yeah, don't let these guys project their insecurities on to you. Her sex drive has dropped and she is giving you a hall pass to tgo get your rocks off somewhere else.

So go do it. At least once. It won't be the end of the world, and you may find that it's not as fulfilling as you thought it would be. or maybe it will?

Who knows. We put so much pressure and focus on it. It's just sex. It feels good and our bodies are MEANT to crave it.

If I got an HONEST hall pass I would take it. The question you need to ask is if hers was honest. Some women offer one just hoping to hear that you "would never do that."
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Old 28th January 2018, 7:10 PM   #47
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If I got an HONEST hall pass
And if I saw a unicorn, I'd probably try and get a ride. There's about an equal chance of both occurring.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/roma...woman-pregnant

She gave her husband a hall pass. Ask her how it's working out...

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Old 29th January 2018, 2:16 AM   #48
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And if I saw a unicorn, I'd probably try and get a ride. There's about an equal chance of both occurring.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/roma...woman-pregnant

She gave her husband a hall pass. Ask her how it's working out...

Mr. Lucky
My God! If this were happening in my home I would sharpen the knife and hand it to my wife.
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Old 30th January 2018, 2:27 PM   #49
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My 2 Cents: you are way overthinking this. At the end of the day each couple comes up with its own arrangement. And what works for some does not work for others. These arrangements go from "divorce if you ever dare to even look at someone of the opposite sex" (seriously: some spouses will not tolerate any interactions with anyone of the opposite sex) to fully open marriages. Most couples are somewhere in between. And, in many ways, each one is unique. You would be surprised by the things spouses are allowed and prohibited from doing (even in the most "traditional" looking pairs).

FWIW, this is a very generous and open minded offer from your wife. Even if you decide not to go through with anything (or fail to find the proper situation/playmate to do it), the fact you have been given the freedom to even consider it is quite a gift to you. Enjoy it!
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Old 30th January 2018, 8:36 PM   #50
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FWIW, this is a very generous and open minded offer from your wife. Even if you decide not to go through with anything (or fail to find the proper situation/playmate to do it), the fact you have been given the freedom to even consider it is quite a gift to you. Enjoy it!
Thanks for the feedback. I completely agree that it's an open-minded and generous offer. It's also a difficult proposition for me to just take lightly. Too much at stake. That is why I'm not in a good space to just have fun with it yet. Maybe. Someday. Maybe not.
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Old 30th January 2018, 8:44 PM   #51
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Thanks for the feedback. I completely agree that it's an open-minded and generous offer. It's also a difficult proposition for me to just take lightly. Too much at stake. That is why I'm not in a good space to just have fun with it yet. Maybe. Someday. Maybe not.
We have a fantastic sex life, and my wife suggested I play with others if I wanted. I knew she meant it, too, so I did. And, I knew she would also enjoy the same freedom, so she did. An open relationship has worked for us, but we are very, very careful to avoid hurting each other over this. Lately, she hasn't been interested in other men, but is still fine with me seeing other women. It doesn't happen often these days, but I still enjoy the freedom occasionally. Mostly, we enjoy our own great sex life. If it weren't so great, though, I'd definitely be pursuing my granted freedom very avidly.
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Old 31st January 2018, 8:56 AM   #52
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My God! If this were happening in my home I would sharpen the knife and hand it to my wife.
The reality is birth control is NOT 100%, so pregnancy is a possibility if you do go outside your marriage.
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Old 31st January 2018, 10:43 AM   #53
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The reality is birth control is NOT 100%, so pregnancy is a possibility if you do go outside your marriage.
Agreed, but in my situation, without providing too much detail, pregnancy is not an issue. My issue is with the example provided. There was so much pressure on that relationship, that opening it up would be ill advised in the first place. Using a straw man argument to make a point never works for me.

There is a possibility of something going not as planned in every aspect of life. That is the essence of life. It's full of grey areas, but also full of color. It's all about how you choose to view it and engage with it.
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Old 31st January 2018, 12:11 PM   #54
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Even if you and your wife talk through ll of this and decide that going outside your marriage isn't the right path, there can still be a great benefit to it.

The conversations can bring you closer together, and help you and your wife learn more about each other as people.

When you think about it, it's really awesome and exciting that, no matter how long you know someone, there is still more to learn about them.
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Old 31st January 2018, 12:23 PM   #55
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Agreed, but in my situation, without providing too much detail, pregnancy is not an issue. My issue is with the example provided. There was so much pressure on that relationship, that opening it up would be ill advised in the first place. Using a straw man argument to make a point never works for me.

There is a possibility of something going not as planned in every aspect of life. That is the essence of life. It's full of grey areas, but also full of color. It's all about how you choose to view it and engage with it.
I have a Pill baby and a condom baby. My close friend got pregnant after a tubal. Another 2 have had vasectomies and produced children proven by DNA testing with a few more who just took their wives word for paternity. An unintended pregnancy could destroy your marriage and put a fairly decent dent in your finances and plans for the future.

Of course, there is also the risk of emotional attachment brought on by PEA chemicals. Which, should that occur, could also destroy your marriage. And that's not even counting your wife's reaction if you were to take the hall pass.

Bottom line, the biological purpose of sex is procreation and pair bonding to see to the survival of the offspring. The reality is that birth control has a failure rate and people "catch feelings" due to the PEA chemical soup produced by physical intimacy. If you're going to play with fire, at least understand and account for the most common ways of getting burned.
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Old 31st January 2018, 12:40 PM   #56
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The reality is birth control is NOT 100%, so pregnancy is a possibility if you do go outside your marriage.
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I have a Pill baby and a condom baby. My close friend got pregnant after a tubal. Another 2 have had vasectomies and produced children proven by DNA testing with a few more who just took their wives word for paternity. An unintended pregnancy could destroy your marriage and put a fairly decent dent in your finances and plans for the future.

Of course, there is also the risk of emotional attachment brought on by PEA chemicals. Which, should that occur, could also destroy your marriage. And that's not even counting your wife's reaction if you were to take the hall pass.

Bottom line, the biological purpose of sex is procreation and pair bonding to see to the survival of the offspring. The reality is that birth control has a failure rate and people "catch feelings" due to the PEA chemical soup produced by physical intimacy. If you're going to play with fire, at least understand and account for the most common ways of getting burned.
I apologize for upsetting you. Point taken. I will tell you that my situation doesn't fit in any of the categories you mentioned, but I fully understand the emotional consequences. That is why taking her up on her offer is a difficult decision for me, not to mention just the logistical issues that go along with it.

We obviously need to talk this through further. The trick is finding time for both of us to be available for each other to do so. I will do my best.
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Old 31st January 2018, 2:37 PM   #57
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I have a Pill baby and a condom baby. My close friend got pregnant after a tubal. Another 2 have had vasectomies and produced children proven by DNA testing with a few more who just took their wives word for paternity.
Sure you do...I bet you also know an immaculate conception as well. Unless you work in some clinic...I'm calling this out.Your just egging someone on.
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Old 31st January 2018, 3:18 PM   #58
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Sure you do...I bet you also know an immaculate conception as well. Unless you work in some clinic...I'm calling this out.Your just egging someone on.
It does seem strange. Come to think of it, I'd stay away from that clinic.
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Old 31st January 2018, 4:36 PM   #59
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Sure you do...I bet you also know an immaculate conception as well. Unless you work in some clinic...I'm calling this out.Your just egging someone on.
Seriously. I'm middle aged and have a lot of friends, most of which I've known since High School. Most of us married and had kids young, divorced, remarried, and the social circle grew. If you're on the planet long enough and know some people, you see some head scratching shyte.

My eldest baby is a Pill baby. Best guess is a course of antibiotics I was on for a lung infection interfered with the effectiveness of the Pill because I never missed my dose. My condom baby is a total mystery as we never had any obvious signs of mishap until I realized I was pregnant again.

My exH had a vasectomy when I was pregnant with the condom baby. I scheduled it, drove him, and cleaned/checked the post surgical wound. We divorced. He remarried. His 2nd wife had two children. I'd have said she was cheating, but there was some social services involvement, paternity was questioned, and DNA testing says they're both his.

My best friends 1st husband knocked up some random chick while they were married and she was pregnant with their 2nd child. Random chick aborted, friend paid for it, and a condition of her paying for the abortion and reconciling with her husband was he get a vasectomy. He did. A year later, she got pregnant with their 3rd child. In the subsequent divorce he tried to deny paternity, the court ordered testing, and the kid was his.

The other guys who allegedly had vasectomy babies were 1 cousin and 2 sort-of friends, but testing was never done and I can't say if those kids were theirs or not.

My 2nd closest girl friend had 5 kids before she was 30. She got her tubes tied. She ended up pregnant again...twice...within 5 years of having the procedure done. She had the clamps and the one on her right ovary slipped. This lady is why I had the cut and cauterize method done when I had my tubal.
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Old 31st January 2018, 4:44 PM   #60
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I apologize for upsetting you. Point taken. I will tell you that my situation doesn't fit in any of the categories you mentioned, but I fully understand the emotional consequences. That is why taking her up on her offer is a difficult decision for me, not to mention just the logistical issues that go along with it.

We obviously need to talk this through further. The trick is finding time for both of us to be available for each other to do so. I will do my best.
No upset at all! I'm just pointing out that unless you are infertile or only having sex with women who are infertile, it's a possibility you must consider before making a decision.

As far as emotional consequences, you must think of yourself, your wife, and the OW.

The biggest dangers to you and OW are emotional involvement and the buckets of drama that come from that.

For your wife, some people really don't mind, some think they won't mind and only realize they do mind after the damage is done. She may be sincere, but not realize how she will respond to the reality.

If you do decide to use the hall pass, go on a few dates and only kiss. See how your wife responds. If she responds unfavorably, at least you didn't have sex.
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