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I don't know how to get out of this gigantic hole I've dug myself


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Old 16th April 2019, 1:07 AM   #76
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I live in a suburb. I don't see women my age at grocery stores - it's mostly older people and families


I really don't see women my age anywhere except bars/clubs and gyms
Whole foods is where it's at. But hot women have to eat somewhere. Drive to another store. How bad do you want this?

But you can at the gym. Just start by trying to start talking to them. One step at a time.
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Old 16th April 2019, 1:11 AM   #77
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l dunno man , l don't understand where 3/4 of the shyt l read in these places come from.
Really , have no damn clue.
You think 90% of the guys out there married or in relationships are even 1/2 of what your talking about .
They're just ordinary men man , and their women are just ordinary women.
Every shape and size and look imaginable

And your sayin you gotta be a male model , l mean wtf does that even come from.
Just about anyone l know has a great man or woman at home , but guess what , l've never known a model in my life and none of them are even close.
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Old 16th April 2019, 1:29 AM   #78
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l dunno man , l don't understand where 3/4 of the shyt l read in these places come from.
Really , have no damn clue.
You think 90% of the guys out there married or in relationships are even 1/2 of what your talking about .
They're just ordinary men man , and their women are just ordinary women.
Every shape and size and look imaginable

And your sayin you gotta be a male model , l mean wtf does that even come from.
Just about anyone l know has a great man or woman at home , but guess what , l've never known a model in my life and none of them are even close.
What he's talking about is the phenomenon of desiring a dating relationship with a woman between 18-28 years of age (golden window), where she has unlimited options due to social media and dating apps.

Imagine if you opened a dating app and within 1 hour you, a quite basic looking woman, has literally hundreds of men writing her.

If you approach her, and you have a flaw, is it really going to be hard for you to say "next" and go to the next 800 matches on her tinder? Even if you don't have a flaw, maybe there's a better guy in the next 200 matches? A guy with all the hygpergamous parameters: 6+ feet, 6 figure salary, 6 pack, 6" p, 6 months since last relationship. The 666 isn't even cutting it anymore, because women now have access to 777... lol

The number of options women have within hours of opening a dating app is not an exaggeration. The woman I am dating showed me her bumble. She wasn't even in my city one hour and had 300 matches.

Overtime, women's self-perception of their sexual market value goes through the roof. The average woman that may be a 4 in real life, due to social media, has an exaggerated SMV of 6 or 7. So a guy that is a 4, has no chance of a dating relationship with his looks match. Combine this with hook-up culture, the delay of child bearing, no need for a man, and finding a good women, even as a top-tier man, is proving a difficult task.

It's one of the purported reasons 30% of American men 18-30 have had no sex in the past year.

I'm not saying I agree with all of this, but this is how the theory goes.

Oh, and if the stress of presenting yourself as her top option triggers ED? You're gone dude. We've seen several of these posts lately. These guys don't have legit ED. It's nerves and stress of walking on egg shells because they know they can be replaced with Chad and Tyrone with the flick of a dating app.

Last edited by TheFinalWord; 16th April 2019 at 1:34 AM..
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Old 16th April 2019, 1:42 AM   #79
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Still dunno man , but then l'm not in the States and l usually think thank god to if the Internets anything to go by.
Butttt, l'm 50s and still get plenty of chicks 20s and 30s giving me an eyeful.
And if l read through these forums they're fill with younger chicks that can't find a good man, few dozen of them though threads right here today alone.
But eh , man or woman , we all gotta be realistic too, you see millions of women way way way over rating themselves and getting no where , and that's probably a thing for a lot of these guys too.

Last edited by chillii; 16th April 2019 at 1:46 AM..
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Old 16th April 2019, 1:51 AM   #80
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And if l read through these forums they're fill with younger chicks that can't find a good man, few dozen of them though threads right here today alone.
The difference is, these women (if they're attractive) never talk about not being able to find a date. The problem for them is which of the men she has to pick from does she want. And you can see the auto response is "dump him." Why? Because there's another 200 messages from men on these dating apps, DMs, twitter, right around the corner. For most of these men, they have maybe 1 woman they are talking to, if they're lucky. And he's probably one of about 10 men hitting her up. Many have none at all. Dumping a woman at the slightest smart remark or rude behavior? Most men won't do it because they can barely ask a woman out, let alone get one.

Last edited by TheFinalWord; 16th April 2019 at 1:57 AM..
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Old 16th April 2019, 5:22 AM   #81
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I'm 30 now. I'm the absolute best package I've ever been in my life and I still can't seem to get a date if my life depended on it.
No surprises there. I can't find a nice pair of boots either - because I'm so damn fussy that I reject pretty much everything I see as not being good enough. Thing is though, I am not a victim to boots - I'm just choosy. Just as you are not a victim of dating. It is your choice to be in this situation.

Are you aware that a lot of women (even the kind of women you want) would view your parameters as a big red flag? Thing is, people change. The woman who fits your expectations may put on weight after she's had kids. Or she may decide to get a tattoo for her 40th. Your previous refusal to date anyone who's not perfect for you tells her that you'd be liability in the long term.

You're a workaholic and plan to never retire? I don't know what kind of life you plan to give your wife and kids, but it sounds like you'd be an absent father who never takes the family on vacation and won't be enjoying retirement with your wife. Sure, it may suit a woman who doesn't particularly like you and only wants your money, but it's not what a woman who values the family unit would sign up for.
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Old 16th April 2019, 7:28 AM   #82
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Perhaps adjust your attitude.
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Old 16th April 2019, 8:17 AM   #83
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Originally Posted by TheFinalWord View Post
Whole foods is where it's at. But hot women have to eat somewhere. Drive to another store. How bad do you want this?

But you can at the gym. Just start by trying to start talking to them. One step at a time.

only women over 30 at my whole foods, I live in the suburbs dude


how do you get over the headphones problem at the gym?
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Old 16th April 2019, 8:19 AM   #84
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No surprises there. I can't find a nice pair of boots either - because I'm so damn fussy that I reject pretty much everything I see as not being good enough. Thing is though, I am not a victim to boots - I'm just choosy. Just as you are not a victim of dating. It is your choice to be in this situation.

Are you aware that a lot of women (even the kind of women you want) would view your parameters as a big red flag? Thing is, people change. The woman who fits your expectations may put on weight after she's had kids. Or she may decide to get a tattoo for her 40th. Your previous refusal to date anyone who's not perfect for you tells her that you'd be liability in the long term.

You're a workaholic and plan to never retire? I don't know what kind of life you plan to give your wife and kids, but it sounds like you'd be an absent father who never takes the family on vacation and won't be enjoying retirement with your wife. Sure, it may suit a woman who doesn't particularly like you and only wants your money, but it's not what a woman who values the family unit would sign up for.

I mentioned this in my other post. Yes I would like somebody who is perfect for my taste but would I settle for somebody who is somewhat close to my taste? I would but I'm not getting any opportunities with that either. The only women who approach me and make it obvious they like me are nowhere near my taste (way over weight, single moms, women over 30, etc...)

I'm a 30 year old dude in excellent shape, good looking and in a fantastic situation financially. I should be able to have a 27 year old high quality girlfriend who is both good looking and has a good personality

As far as your last comment goes. I love work and I love making money but don't mistake that for being an absent father. I'm from an ethnic background where family, loyalty and kids is everything. I will be a great father and husband if I ever meet anybody
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Old 16th April 2019, 8:34 AM   #85
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Just because you’re “good looking” and make a decent living does not entitle you to any woman.

You obviously are doing something wrong, or you’d already have the type of woman you want. So you have to either change yourself or change what you are looking for.

Keep doing what you are - and you’ll keep getting what you have.
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Old 16th April 2019, 8:45 AM   #86
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Just because you’re “good looking” and make a decent living does not entitle you to any woman.

You obviously are doing something wrong, or you’d already have the type of woman you want. So you have to either change yourself or change what you are looking for.

Keep doing what you are - and you’ll keep getting what you have.

I feel like half the people in this thread have not read the original post


I would have already had a girlfriend/wife 5 years ago if I had the confidence with women I do in my other parts of life between 18-26. I destroyed lots of opportunities due to a horrible attitude


now I've fixed that but I don't get any opportunities with good looking women anymore and have to rely on things like approaching at bars/gyms and online dating where the difficulty curve is magnified to a million
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Old 16th April 2019, 9:12 AM   #87
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Lol

I'm not getting facial surgery. I'm happy with how I look
You don’t need facial surgery. But it takes a lot of hard work to groom yourself and maintain your looks, when you’re a professional model. If you’re adamant that it’s the single most important parameter (which I personally disagree), then by all means hire help: have a high-end personal stylist.

Also, one’s career success may not be defined totally by the annual income. Some women may find a car dealer off putting.

In any case, if you aspire to have a girlfriend like Jennifer Lopez, then you should aspire to be like A Rod. As simple as that. But I think most of J Lo’s exes are far from having model looks.
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Old 16th April 2019, 9:18 AM   #88
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You misunderstood what I said. I go for women who are about my equal. I'm about a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10 and that's who i go after. I dress very nice and am in great shape. That's the kind of women i go after

Women like that want to date somebody from their social circle. They're generally not open to dating strangers, unless you're a male model

I make friends everywhere I go and nobody knows any cute, single, fit, very high quality women around 23 to 30

And I work about 50 to 55 hours a week but i don't mention that to women. Unfortunately nowadays, you're not making real money (150 to 400k+) unless you work a ton
So now J Lo is a 7 in your eyes?
Well personally I find her too curvy for my taste, but you went on and on about such body type...
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Old 16th April 2019, 9:46 AM   #89
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You don’t need facial surgery. But it takes a lot of hard work to groom yourself and maintain your looks, when you’re a professional model. If you’re adamant that it’s the single most important parameter (which I personally disagree), then by all means hire help: have a high-end personal stylist.

Also, one’s career success may not be defined totally by the annual income. Some women may find a car dealer off putting.

In any case, if you aspire to have a girlfriend like Jennifer Lopez, then you should aspire to be like A Rod. As simple as that. But I think most of J Lo’s exes are far from having model looks.

I've already maximized every aspect of my appearance - face, body, fashion sense as much as I possibly can. I dress extremely nice, I'm in great shape and my grooming and skincare is about as good as possible without going into that homosexual territory- i still make sure I look very masculine

I don't think A-rod is good looking at all. I'm much better looking than him and I'm not even handsome enough. The only guy I've ever been out with who did well with approaching women looked like a male model - he had that perfect male model facial structure. No matter how much i maximize my looks I'll never get to that and that's about what you need nowadays for online dating/approaching women at bars and what not
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Old 16th April 2019, 9:49 AM   #90
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So now J Lo is a 7 in your eyes?
Well personally I find her too curvy for my taste, but you went on and on about such body type...

Jlo is a 10/10

But i don't go for women that attractive. I go for 6s and 7s mostly, those are incredibly difficult by themselves. 8 to 10s have impossible standards

Most people rate me around a 6.5 to 7.5 in real life
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