LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

I don't know how to get out of this gigantic hole I've dug myself


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Like Tree56Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 15th April 2019, 11:11 AM   #16
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 25,396
So what works for you is repeated contact, so I just recommend you join in with hobbies, hiking, bowling, maybe even bingo, meetups for special interests (You know, like paranormal, collectors, whatever), or take an college class like kayaking or cooking. Get creative and volunteer someplace a couple hours a week, like the zoo, an animal rescue (meet lots of women there!), or dressing underprivileged kids for prom, etc. Volunteer at church. Become a BoyScout leader and meet some grateful single moms. Things like that are mostly all women. If they aren't single, one of their friends is. It's important to do interactive things that repeat themselves, though.

Volunteering for an animal rescue, those places are swarming with good hearted women. Some may be a little burnt out on humans, though, from what they've seen, and have to build up trust. And there are other types of animal rescues, such as near my town, we have a wonderful bird sanctuary where this one woman, an attractive 40-ish blonde, makes her life mending wild birds, with a rotating staff of volunteers that range from college kids to criminals doing community service (which I'm not comfortable with personally -- I worked briefly with one at the zoo). But point being places like that are desperate for help and especially someone who is at all handy and can lift things. Most of her volunteers are younger girls. She needs a handyman real bad. Other rescues around my area include a bunny place and lots and lots of dog and cat rescues.

These places don't need to take up more than one day a week, or a couple hours a week. When I volunteered at the zoo, it was 2-3 hours per week, and then I filled in a couple times, sat with a cat post surgery to keep an eye, watched as they mixed a stork in with some antelope, just to be sure it all went smoothly.

So get creative to meet people.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
"The greatness of a nation & its moral progress can be judged by the way in its animals are treated." -Gandhi
preraph is offline  
Old 15th April 2019, 12:18 PM   #17
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 63
My taste is too specific for any of those things to work though

Most of those recommendations are going to have women over 30, single moms, men and older people. I'm only interested in athletic and decent looking women around 22 to 32, no kids, intelligent and classy. I'm huge into fitness, i need a girl who loves to workout

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 15th April 2019 at 7:33 PM.. Reason: quote removed
Tearsdontfall7 is offline  
Old 15th April 2019, 1:07 PM   #18
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 62
I think your best bet would be a running club or some other type of club for people who are into outdoor fitness. Have you gone to a dog park? Plenty of hot, single women hang out there. Do you have a dog?

I can almost guarantee you that if you are cute and out walking your dog, tons of chicks will stop and talk to you.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 15th April 2019 at 7:33 PM.. Reason: quote removed
fishlips is offline  
Old 15th April 2019, 1:29 PM   #19
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 25,396
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tearsdontfall7 View Post
My taste is too specific for any of those things to work though

Most of those recommendations are going to have women over 30, single moms, men and older people. I'm only interested in athletic and decent looking women around 22 to 32, no kids, intelligent and classy. I'm huge into fitness, i need a girl who loves to workout
Well, nothing wrong with that. You're active, so don't do bingo. Do kayaking, join a hiking meetup, join a jogging group. But you can't just stay in the gym because hitting on girls at the gym can be creepy for some, so it's not the best place for that, plus it's different people every day. Fitness is a great way to meet women, though. Hiking is very popular. You could also walk your dog a lot and go to dog parks or jog your dog around the park or whatever. Women will say hi to dogs that won't say hi to you. Play tennis or raquetball and join some team. Or join a coed softball or soccer team.
preraph is offline  
Old 15th April 2019, 1:57 PM   #20
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by fishlips View Post
I think your best bet would be a running club or some other type of club for people who are into outdoor fitness. Have you gone to a dog park? Plenty of hot, single women hang out there. Do you have a dog?

I can almost guarantee you that if you are cute and out walking your dog, tons of chicks will stop and talk to you.


No dog. I work crazy hours
Tearsdontfall7 is offline  
Old 15th April 2019, 2:17 PM   #21
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 25,396
I assume since you're into fitness, you also eat at healthy food type places. You can meet people by becoming a regular at a restaurant, too.
preraph is offline  
Old 15th April 2019, 3:38 PM   #22
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 308
Maybe you have to move to Europe .

Where I live, almost everyone does sport and looks fit!

It’s not difficult to get dates online and offline unless you’re very very bad looking and no charisma at all.

I think it doesn’t matter how good looking and successful you are, finding a right partner will take time, effort, and work!

So be patient! Dont lose faith or hope! One day it will come!
soyou is offline  
Old 15th April 2019, 3:38 PM   #23
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by preraph View Post
I assume since you're into fitness, you also eat at healthy food type places. You can meet people by becoming a regular at a restaurant, too.
You're talking about the women who work at restaurants?

You ain't picking those up unless you're a male model or movie star. Good luck standing out to women who get hit on 1000 times a day

Most of the female posters massively underestimate how many options even decent looking women in their late 20s have. I'm a good looking man in great shape making nearly 200K, with a college degree and extremely intelligent...I'm still basically worthless to women my age
Tearsdontfall7 is offline  
Old 15th April 2019, 3:42 PM   #24
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 25,396
I'm not talking about picking up anyone. I thought you were looking to meet women by getting to know each other because that's what works for you. You can meet people anywhere you go regularly. And meeting people can lead to meeting their friends, etc. That can be a salon or anywhere you make a habit of going, really.
preraph is offline  
Old 15th April 2019, 3:42 PM   #25
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by soyou View Post
Maybe you have to move to Europe .

Where I live, almost everyone does sport and looks fit!

It’s not difficult to get dates online and offline unless you’re very very bad looking and no charisma at all.

I think it doesn’t matter how good looking and successful you are, finding a right partner will take time, effort, and work!

So be patient! Dont lose faith or hope! One day it will come!
I live near Chicago, when I go to gyms or bars or night clubs, its overflowing with good looking women but they don't know you and are not gonna give you a chance unless you're absolutely stunning

The difficulty level nowadays associated with getting a slightly above average 27 year old with no kids, in decent shape and classy/quality personality has never been higher than now with the rise of social media.
Tearsdontfall7 is offline  
Old 15th April 2019, 3:45 PM   #26
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by preraph View Post
I'm not talking about picking up anyone. I thought you were looking to meet women by getting to know each other because that's what works for you. You can meet people anywhere you go regularly. And meeting people can lead to meeting their friends, etc. That can be a salon or anywhere you make a habit of going, really.
My best friend owns a salon and i know all the women who go there but they're all trainwrecks

Single moms
Tattoed girls
Druggies and smokers


I need a nice clean, no smoking or drugs, no tattoos, wholesome, intelligent, quality, classy girl who is also decent looking and in decent shape.
Tearsdontfall7 is offline  
Old 15th April 2019, 4:02 PM   #27
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: .
Posts: 1,706
Well you knock down everyone’s suggestions so I guess keep doing what you are?
Wallysbears is offline  
Old 15th April 2019, 4:16 PM   #28
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 25,396
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tearsdontfall7 View Post
My best friend owns a salon and i know all the women who go there but they're all trainwrecks

Single moms
Tattoed girls
Druggies and smokers


I need a nice clean, no smoking or drugs, no tattoos, wholesome, intelligent, quality, classy girl who is also decent looking and in decent shape.
So go to a different salon. Sounds like you're pretty picky. It may turn out that that's the problem. I mean, nearly everyone has a tattoo now. I don't like them either, but I bet you have one, don't you? Sounds like if you want someone real straight, you might do best attending church regularly and volunteering there. Maybe offer to lead a group hike or something. I'm trying. If your whole life is working out and that's all you're looking for in a woman, you probably need to become an instructor and date another instructor. You're narrowing things down too much. It's as if you just want someone to have sex with in between gym visits.
preraph is offline  
Old 15th April 2019, 4:26 PM   #29
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by preraph View Post
So go to a different salon. Sounds like you're pretty picky. It may turn out that that's the problem. I mean, nearly everyone has a tattoo now. I don't like them either, but I bet you have one, don't you? Sounds like if you want someone real straight, you might do best attending church regularly and volunteering there. Maybe offer to lead a group hike or something. I'm trying. If your whole life is working out and that's all you're looking for in a woman, you probably need to become an instructor and date another instructor. You're narrowing things down too much. It's as if you just want someone to have sex with in between gym visits.

I don't have any tattoos, I'm old school values - I think tattoos are very trashy. I like a classy and graceful kind of girl who is also good looking.
Tearsdontfall7 is offline  
Old 15th April 2019, 5:01 PM   #30
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 655
Train with a marathon or triathlon group, a rowing club, a distance biking club, anything along those lines and I bet you'll find very fit women and also have the time to get to know each other as you train together.
Tamfana is offline  
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Have I dug myself too deep of a hole? NotTellingYou Dating 5 30th October 2016 7:05 PM
How do I get her back? I realise I have dug a huge hole Connorjaay Second Chances 35 1st March 2014 10:51 AM
Dug myself in a deep hole Offhand Breaks and Breaking Up 1 28th December 2012 2:46 AM
Dug myself into a deep hole waterrabbit The Other Man / Woman 7 7th October 2009 1:48 PM
I have dug myself into a hole, and can't get out. LostInDaytona Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 5 17th March 2004 6:34 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:00 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.