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Did i ruin it or he ghosted me ?


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Old 18th January 2019, 12:25 PM   #61
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He's lying. He is just not into you enough to make an effort. Factor that into you're decision. If you want to be respected -- which is what I interpret from your desire to have him ask you out -- do not go over there. Tell him you're happy to wait until he is feeling energized enough for a date out. Don't hold your breath. Plenty of women are happy to be a delivery service for sex. He will quickly find one them & not bother with a woman like you with self respect who actually expects effort from the man she dates. All in all this guy is not worth the trouble you are going through.
Thank you for that. I texted him and told him i canít make it today i feel like going out and i will wait for you to get energized again. He responded by itís okay and we will definitely plan a date out till then and I definitely have a reason for this. I sent a kiss emoji and he sent a kiss emoji back and that was it.
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Old 18th January 2019, 12:28 PM   #62
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Good for you! Ball is now firmly in his court. Don't hold your breath though. Now plan something fun for yourself tonight. Give yourself an opportunity to meet new people. Maybe a new guy will take your mind off this guy.
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Old 18th January 2019, 12:38 PM   #63
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Good for you! Ball is now firmly in his court. Don't hold your breath though. Now plan something fun for yourself tonight. Give yourself an opportunity to meet new people. Maybe a new guy will take your mind off this guy.
Iíll drive to my parents and enjoy my night with my baby niece ❤️ Iím so happy i said no to this invitation. I donít understand why he doesnt want to go out, itís friday night, he didnt go out since maybe when we went to the movies. Does he have depression or something related to his anxiety disorder ? Or he is really not taking me seriously, i dont know... i feel like he respected me more after cancelling on him.
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Old 18th January 2019, 4:39 PM   #64
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This all sounds like a big headache.
I think you should find someone else who is consistent, clear and who shows very obvious interest.
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Old 18th January 2019, 6:16 PM   #65
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Why i did that? Because what he did was wrong, i dont care how busy at work he is or how much anxiety disorders he has, he doesnt have the right to disappear this way. I’m not giving any excuse to any guy anymore. But im not sure if that was the right thing to do, because i know there was a reason why he didnt talk to me the whole day, im sure he likes me, but i didnt even ask him why he didnt get back to me at noon, did i do the right thing ??
Girl don't make excuses for guys anymore especially in the getting to know stages. A guy who is interested in you and likes you will contact you regularly in the beginning.

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Old 18th January 2019, 9:09 PM   #66
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OP, as someone else said this guy is isn't worth your time. He wants sex, that's why he is inviting you to his place.

You tried your best to make it work. See how emotionally draining it has become for you. Is this situation preventing you from dating others?

There are some guys who indirectly boss you around even when he is not yet your bf. They expect everything to be all under their terms because you are so attracted to them. He seems like one of them. I have no idea how it would be to be a relationship with one of them, as I haven't been there.

I don't know much about these social anxiety thing but if he says it's affecting him and if you are a normal healthy woman you need a normal healthy man without disorders.

I advise you to set your expectations extremely low and keep your options open if you continue with him.
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Old 19th January 2019, 5:08 AM   #67
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He asked me out for tonight....OUTSIDE his place.
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Old 19th January 2019, 6:39 AM   #68
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Jesus..this is more exhausting than doing math. Only two dates in two months and why do you even want to see him again? Such lukewarm...Then all the effort to set up then cancel then set up then change the third date, as of now it still hasnt happened yet..seriously if he likes you he wont be this lazy, no matter how tired he will make it happen for you! .relationship should happen organically but you are already pushing it at such an early stage..why dont you find someone else? The next person will be much easier to date..
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Old 22nd January 2019, 4:39 AM   #69
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Jesus..this is more exhausting than doing math. Only two dates in two months and why do you even want to see him again? Such lukewarm...Then all the effort to set up then cancel then set up then change the third date, as of now it still hasnt happened yet..seriously if he likes you he wont be this lazy, no matter how tired he will make it happen for you! .relationship should happen organically but you are already pushing it at such an early stage..why dont you find someone else? The next person will be much easier to date..
We went on a third date, we held hands, he was a little bit shy, no progress LOL
I do believe that if its meant to be things will progress organically. But yesterday i asked him why he behaves this way and if he likes me or no, i wanted to know so i can know if i end it or no, he was sorry and told me his has a lot of priorities and im one of them, but he should maintain his job because he cant lose it and thats why is not giving me exactly what i want. He also told me he wants to take things slow with me because things that go so fast end up too soon, and he wants to maintain it. I told him, i dont want to waste my time on someone who is not really interested in me and worst case scenario we can be friends. He said he is interested and i am quiet important to him. I woke up today with a goodmorning text from him which means he got what i said. IDK
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Old 22nd January 2019, 6:02 AM   #70
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Your expectations are unrealistic, and if he gives in to everything you say youíll simply lose all respect/attraction for him. In other words, you are shooting yourself in your foot.
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Old 22nd January 2019, 6:47 AM   #71
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Your expectations are unrealistic, and if he gives in to everything you say youíll simply lose all respect/attraction for him. In other words, you are shooting yourself in your foot.
Is having a healthy communication pattern makes my expectation unrealistic ? If he admitted that he is doing something wrong then i have nothing else to say. And if he is not willing to treat me right, I am not willing to stay trying with him. Yes we are not exclusive, but if he keeps me wondering why he did not contact me yet or if its taking weeks to go out, then there is a problem and i'd rather stay single than settling for less just because we are not yet official. If he cares, he should show it the right way.
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Old 22nd January 2019, 6:51 AM   #72
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Seems like he's making a lot of excuses and not making enough of a show of actually wanting to be with you. He's not making the time for you, sure he has a job,but so do most people, and they still date and marry and have families.


Move on and meet a new guy, a guy who actually wants to be with you!
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Old 22nd January 2019, 6:54 AM   #73
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Is having a healthy communication pattern makes my expectation unrealistic ? If he admitted that he is doing something wrong then i have nothing else to say. And if he is not willing to treat me right, I am not willing to stay trying with him. Yes we are not exclusive, but if he keeps me wondering why he did not contact me yet or if its taking weeks to go out, then there is a problem and i'd rather stay single than settling for less just because we are not yet official. If he cares, he should show it the right way.
Healthy and good communication are very important. When you are in a relationship. Expecting someone with whom you have been on 3 dates with to behave like your fiancť is indeed unrealistic.
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Old 22nd January 2019, 7:07 AM   #74
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Healthy and good communication are very important. When you are in a relationship. Expecting someone with whom you have been on 3 dates with to behave like your fiancť is indeed unrealistic.
Maybe cultures differ, but in my middle eastern culture, if two people are dating, this means they should talk a lot, go on dates, especially if he wants something serious, he should maintain same consistency in his communication patterns. We have been talking for more than 1 month. In the first three weeks, he was more enthusiastic, flirting with me, saying how beautiful i am, and that im always missed and he cant wait to see me. In the last two weeks ( when he got overloaded at work ) his excitement lowered,he still calls me, he still checks on me, but we barely go on dates, and never flirts. I dont want to make excuses for him ( work, anxiety disorder ), if i want someone i will make time for them. Im giving him his last chance now. that's it... Im not beng unrealistic, i want to be treated well !
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Old 22nd January 2019, 8:35 AM   #75
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Why i did that? Because what he did was wrong, i dont care how busy at work he is or how much anxiety disorders he has, he doesnt have the right to disappear this way. I’m not giving any excuse to any guy anymore. But im not sure if that was the right thing to do, because i know there was a reason why he didnt talk to me the whole day, im sure he likes me, but i didnt even ask him why he didnt get back to me at noon, did i do the right thing ??
I love to see women not make excuses for men anymore. I agree with you that its not okay to be ignored. I wouldnt sweat this too much. Guys that like you are responsive especially if yall were suppose to meet. I wouldnt have even bothered sending a text. I would have just ignored his contact if he decided to contact again.
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