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I need help with my girlfriend, I’m freaking out!?


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Old 1st January 2018, 1:22 PM   #16
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Please don't write her a long letter pouring your heart out. Every dumpee that comes here wastes their time on that thinking it'll fix everything.

Doesn't work and ends up making you look weak and needy.

Go your own way and give her what does asked you for.

Don't answer any breadcrumbs. If in the future if she would want you back (very unlikely) you'll know it.

Living on hope will just keep you in limbo longer.

There is no magic fix. Just no contact and time.

Shes no special snowflake as you'll find out soon enough
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:22 PM   #17
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You offering to fly there was sweet but don't you get it ? It's not enough. You can't very well stay there indefinitely while her grandmother is dying. If you can relocate now to where she is, I suppose on that basis you could try to get her to change her mind but you shouldn't move on the chance that she will say yes.

At this point you are sad & you feel blindsided. You are lost & casting about for any hope. Problem is, that hope is just not there. She wants out. It doesn't matter how much you love her. She's done

The best thing you can do for yourself is accept that so you can start your grieving process that will eventually lead to healing.
Well I may be blindsided but my gut tells me sheís making a mistake and I will realize how much I actually helped her and loved her. I feel she will be back.....
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:24 PM   #18
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Well I may be blindsided but my gut tells me she’s making a mistake and I will realize how much I actually helped her and loved her. I feel she will be back.....
It's her mistake to make and you can't change that.
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:25 PM   #19
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Please don't write her a long letter pouring your heart out. Every dumpee that comes here wastes their time on that thinking it'll fix everything.

Doesn't work and ends up making you look weak and needy.

Go your own way and give her what does asked you for.

Don't answer any breadcrumbs. If in the future if she would want you back (very unlikely) you'll know it.

Living on hope will just keep you in limbo longer.

There is no magic fix. Just no contact and time.

Shes no special snowflake as you'll find out soon enough


Im not going to write anything I wonít contact but I feel she will be back the reason I say that is because I feel her feelings and she is confused with everything that is going on....
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:25 PM   #20
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Hockey52

You actually did not answer my Qs but I found some of the answers in reading other threads you posted on this same subject.

Your EX GF is away at college. That is why you are long distance It is also why she'd ending the relationship. She wants to be free to enjoy college. For her the relationship is over. She has been pulling away for a while. You have been frustrated by her behavior. You have been reaching out trying to fix what's wrong but you are failing to acknowledge that what's wrong is she wants OUT. It's not you. It is her. She's just done & there isn't anything you can do about it.

She's not confused. She's done.

Leave her alone. Don't fly out there. Stop pestering her.

Focus on yourself & your healing.
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:28 PM   #21
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Im not going to write anything I wonít contact but I feel she will be back the reason I say that is because I feel her feelings and she is confused with everything that is going on....
For your sake, I hope so. It is possible after her grandmother passes her emotions will be freed up some so she feels like she has more to "give." I do know someone this happened to and now they are happily married.
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:29 PM   #22
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I understand... but all of this doesn’t make sense she threw away someone who would love and support her anyway possible ... I can’t wrap my head around it. I don’t think it’s abot being “free” she did tell me earlier last week “all I feel is sad right now and I can’t make myself happy or you right now” there is definitely something going on with herself and the family I feel.. but it isn’t right to leave me because of this. I absolutely did nothing wrong. She knows I’m the best for her....
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:32 PM   #23
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For your sake, I hope so. It is possible after her grandmother passes her emotions will be freed up some so she feels like she has more to "give." I do know someone this happened to and now they are happily married.
Well I Hope so because this situation is very weird. I absolutely did nothing wrong but offer my support and I love to her. I truely believe if your set free and they come back itís meant to be.. I know her feelings are playing a big part here and I perfectly understand she is WAY overwhelmed but leaving me and the things she said to me is not right... Iím not hanging on hope but her social media accounts shows the same thing barely any activity...
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:34 PM   #24
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For your sake, I hope so. It is possible after her grandmother passes her emotions will be freed up some so she feels like she has more to "give." I do know someone this happened to and now they are happily married.
I also have a flight already planned for February 21... I donít know now what to do with it..
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:35 PM   #25
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Cancel the flight.
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:44 PM   #26
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Well I may be blindsided but my gut tells me sheís making a mistake and I will realize how much I actually helped her and loved her. I feel she will be back.....
Just about every dumpee says that, it is rarely true.

IF she really loved you, grandma or no grandma, LDR or no LDR, college or no college she would not be writing break up letters and telling you she just wants to be friends.
She would be sticking to you like glue as no-one truly in love wants to chance losing the one they are in love with.
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:46 PM   #27
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I understand... but all of this doesnít make sense she threw away someone who would love and support her anyway possible ... I canít wrap my head around it. I donít think itís abot being ďfreeĒ she did tell me earlier last week ďall I feel is sad right now and I canít make myself happy or you right nowĒ there is definitely something going on with herself and the family I feel.. but it isnít right to leave me because of this. I absolutely did nothing wrong. She knows Iím the best for her....
"Sigh". You still don't get it. This is what she wants!!!!! Her words and actions tell you this.

She's dumping you in a nice way. This happens all the time. Nothing at all special about it other than its happening to you.

Get out of your denial or you'll just linger where you are.

The only one that can keep you in limbo is you.
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:47 PM   #28
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Well I Hope so because this situation is very weird. I absolutely did nothing wrong but offer my support and I love to her. I truely believe if your set free and they come back it’s meant to be.. I know her feelings are playing a big part here and I perfectly understand she is WAY overwhelmed but leaving me and the things she said to me is not right... I’m not hanging on hope but her social media accounts shows the same thing barely any activity...
If you're smart you'll block her on everything and go your own way. Stalking and pain shopping won't get you a thing but like a lot you probably won't listen.
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:49 PM   #29
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"Sigh". You still don't get it. This is what she wants!!!!! Her words and actions tell you this.

She's dumping you in a nice way. This happens all the time. Nothing at all special about it other than its happening to you.

Get out of your denial or you'll just linger where you are.

The only one that can keep you in limbo is you.
I Guess your right..... nothing I can do Iíll try to move on, but I hope she somehow she sees what sheís done..
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:55 PM   #30
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I Guess your right..... nothing I can do Iíll try to move on, but I hope she somehow she sees what sheís done..
The worse thing you can do is hope. It'll keep you bound longer and you need to move on. Like she has done already.
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