Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
I feel horrible but I cheated on my husband of 5 years. I have never cheated before nor ever will again. But today, I got pressured and was drinking and .... I did realize immediately what what happening and stopped it. But he did go inside me for a second.
The guy was a really good friend that I knew liked me but I have always made it very clear I was married.
What do I do! I have never done anything like this before and will never again.
tell your husband, and pray he's understanding.it sounds like you may have a drinking problem.any way that you look at it he must be told.
Actually no drinking problem...the opposite. I do not drink and "my friend" egged me on. I explained that I have not had a drink in over 2 years and he ordered one for me.
I feel horrible but I cheated on my husband of 5 years. I have never cheated before nor ever will again. But today, I got pressured and was drinking and .... I did realize immediately what what happening and stopped it. But he did go inside me for a second.
The guy was a really good friend that I knew liked me but I have always made it very clear I was married.
What do I do! I have never done anything like this before and will never again.
Do you have ANY idea how lame you sound ? What about this post is supposed to make us believe you will never do it again ?
I explained that I have not had a drink in over 2 years and he ordered one for me.
Yet you drank it anyway...
This guy has NEVER been your friend because a true friend wouldn't do what he did to you. Though, with that being said, you can't put all the blame on him. At any time, you could have said no and walked away, or called your husband.
I'm not judging you or trying to make you feel bad - But, ask yourself why you put yourself in that situation to begin with. Are you unhappy in your marriage? Feeling neglected? Maybe you do love your husband but aren't sexually turned on by him anymore and this 'friend' made you feel good about you?
Quote:
.... I did realize immediately what what happening and stopped it. But he did go inside me for a second.
Can I ask? Obviously there was some kissing and fooling around beforehand..I doubt (or I guess it's possible though) that he just put it in you without turning you on first.
I don't know how to help you out with this one. If you tell your husband about it, it will turn your relationship upside down. Don't expect him to be understanding about it because he's not going to be.
I'm not sure I would say anything to him because you stopped the guy before a full-blown sex act was consummated (yeah....I'm searching for a bright side here). It's your call and it depends on whether or not your husband might hear about it from someone else.
I think you're expecting your husband, and others, to see this from the point of view that you were persuaded to keep drinking and then, because this guy was always attracted to you, he somehow managed to get you out of his clothes. But I doubt you'll be able to sell that story so I'd drop it if I were you and start thinking about it from your husband's angle. Yes, he probably will be pissed at the guy and may even go punch his lights out, but he's going to be even more pissed with you.
As the saying goes, it takes a lifetime to build trust, and only one moment to destroy it. The fact that you've been faithful for 5 yrs won't mean a lot at this point. Make sure that you never let yourself get into this kind of situation again. It could've stopped at the touching stage, kissing stage, unbuttoning stage, etc. Your husband will be thinking about that, too. Being drunk will not be reassuring to him.
Tell your husband exactly what happened. If he loves you, and feels you deserve a chance to make it right again, he'll forgive you. Though, he'll probably want to talk to the OM (Other Man) and also TELL you to never contact him again. You DO know that friendship has to end, right? Let's hope you and this guy don't work together, because if you do work with him, quit your job. Ask for a transfer...By doing this, you will be proving to your husband IN actions that you want your marriage to work and you only want him, noone else.
Be honest, answer all that he needs to know.
How long have you and the 'friend' been friends and close?
I feel horrible but I cheated on my husband of 5 years. I have never cheated before nor ever will again. But today, I got pressured and was drinking and .... I did realize immediately what what happening and stopped it. But he did go inside me for a second.
The guy was a really good friend that I knew liked me but I have always made it very clear I was married.
What do I do! I have never done anything like this before and will never again.
Don't tell your husband, don't tell your best friend, don't tell your dog...DON'T TELL A SOUL IN THIS WORLD!!! Just forget about it. If you tell one single person it will get to your husband and there will be hell in your family. Forgive yourself, stop drinking so much and get on with your life. ZIP YOUR LIPS about this one!
People who cheat for the first time and run home to tell their spouse are some kind of nuts. That's not honesty, that's stupidity.
Don't tell your husband, don't tell your best friend, don't tell your dog...DON'T TELL A SOUL IN THIS WORLD!!! Just forget about it. If you tell one single person it will get to your husband and there will be hell in your family. Forgive yourself, stop drinking so much and get on with your life. ZIP YOUR LIPS about this one!
People who cheat for the first time and run home to tell their spouse are some kind of nuts. That's not honesty, that's stupidity.
Tony, as a long time BS, I have to agree with you. I understand the downside. If I had known my ex was cheating at year 5 I might have left... and started over. In hindsight that's a very attractive possibility.
The reality is it would have created damage that would never have healed. No more future.
The only way this womans marriage will survive intact is to never say a word, and see that it doesen't happen again. Honesty and character are obviously not important to this gal.
This is a terrible situation for this young couple to be in. She's really screwed the pouch. If she "tells" her husband all heck with break loose. Oh hell, at last thought, it's probably doomed anyway. I doesen't matter much either way.
I don't understand why some of us think confession helps. Look, he doesn't know so it doesn't matter. As long as you're sure you'll never do it again.
Please don't tell your HB anything, you'll just break his heart. If you're a Christian, go and confess at the Church, and ask for forgiveness from God.
I don't understand why some of us think confession helps. Look, he doesn't know so it doesn't matter. As long as you're sure you'll never do it again.
Please don't tell your HB anything, you'll just break his heart. If you're a Christian, go and confess at the Church, and ask for forgiveness from God.
I'm sorry this happened but I'll not blame you.
I just saw Tony T's post and I agree 150%.
I agree, too. There is a such thing as too much honestly and sometimes it serves no purpose except to get the guilt off your chest. But after that, you'll be wishing you had never said a peep about it. There would be SO much damage from this discussion with her H and it's just not worth it.
except that if she contracts STDS and now, so her husband might as well. Not exactly fair to put him in danger, right? You cheated, take the punishment that comes with your actions. I ****ing hate people who don't take responsibility for their behavior.
I can't make up my mind about it. One side of me says to tell him because he deserves the option to leave you if he wants to. You committed the deed you can suffer the consequences of your actions and be accountable for it.
The other side of me says if you think that he would not leave then don't tell him. Why should he have to suffer for your actions. You should keep that monkey on your back alone.
What I do know is cheating does not happen over night this was NOT something that you just stumbled on. Something is either going on with you or your marriage and you need to figure out what that is and fix it.
__________________ When you find the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with; you can't wait for the rest of your life to begin. -When Harry met Sally
It appears you were up for some shenanigans as you chose to imbibe the drink you could have absolutely refused. As whichwayisup pointed out, how likely is it that he went inside you for a second and you didn't know it was coming?
I think this was a personal experiment or self-test, if you will. Take some time to think deeply recent events, then make a decision as to whether to tell your Husband or not.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
When you find the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with; you can't wait for the rest of your life to begin. -When Harry met Sally
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