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Suspicious Bruises on Butt


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Old 1st October 2017, 10:13 PM   #46
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It is a terrible situation for the kids. She isn't a great mother...obviously!
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Old 1st October 2017, 10:50 PM   #47
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The signs are so very obvious. What I don't understand is why she still wants to get married, has told all her friends we're getting married, why she posts pic of us on fb and IG and professes her love for me.

Yes, she LOVES rough sex. As weird as it may sound I've tried to replicate the bruises, and .haven't been able to. And I'm a big guy 6'4" 230 with big hands . Not that you needed to know

But the bruises look like they were only caused by hands.
Tell her you're done with her shi.tty behavior and she can move out, that the wedding is off. Her actions don't meet her words.

If she truly wasn't cheating or up to no good she wouldn't be reacting like this, she'd be hurt that you accused her but not angry to the point of shutting you out and being mean. Those who have nothing to hide don't act like she is acting currently.

Time to call off the wedding, or at least put it on hold until you get the truth. Hire a PI.
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Old 1st October 2017, 11:18 PM   #48
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It is a terrible situation for the kids. She isn't a great mother...obviously!
Why would you marry or want to be with someone who isn't a great mother? You probably don't want to be alone and love the kids. But this lawyer will take you for what she can and clearly is not going to give you what you want and need. For God Sakes be grateful this is happening now and not after marriage. What's next? She will force you to watch her have rough sex with another man?
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Old 1st October 2017, 11:32 PM   #49
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I think if her tells her that, she'll seemingly apologize, agree to the demands and he stays with her. She then does the same thing again maybe after locking in a marriage, which would hurt him and further complicate things. I think he should end things and go back to his house while it's still vacant. Otherwise they'll be married, his house will be sold and she'll cheat again.
No, you're wrong. She's freaking out because she has something to hide. If she agrees to transparency, he would have access to all her devices and accounts. She'll have to confess or leave.

But there IS more to it than that and he has to learn to think like a cheater to stay ahead of her. If she knows he's on to her and will check her devices, she shouldn't have opportunity to delete anything.

The problem is that cheaters who are caught rarely confess all. They change the story and admit to just enough to be credible. She would be hoping to regain his trust but then delete everything incriminating first chance she gets.

So his job is to stay ahead of her. If she confesses (something), he goes then and there to check her devices to read email and messages, read phone and bank records showing multiple calls/texts to the same number or gas purchases at odd locations, even hotel stays to look for. But I doubt it will get to any of this.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 12:00 AM   #50
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SMH, jeeze man what do you want a 2x4 upside the head?

There are more red flags than a commie battalion around this!!!!

Your problem is you don't want to believe what you're seeing.

Why????? Do you really want this in your life to deal with?

My god man there are a lot of good women out there with this drama.

No one in the right state of mind wouldn't run from this.

You need some IC help or something.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 12:09 AM   #51
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No, you're wrong. She's freaking out because she has something to hide. If she agrees to transparency, he would have access to all her devices and accounts. She'll have to confess or leave.

But there IS more to it than that and he has to learn to think like a cheater to stay ahead of her. If she knows he's on to her and will check her devices, she shouldn't have opportunity to delete anything.

The problem is that cheaters who are caught rarely confess all. They change the story and admit to just enough to be credible. She would be hoping to regain his trust but then delete everything incriminating first chance she gets.

So his job is to stay ahead of her. If she confesses (something), he goes then and there to check her devices to read email and messages, read phone and bank records showing multiple calls/texts to the same number or gas purchases at odd locations, even hotel stays to look for. But I doubt it will get to any of this.


For starters I didnt say that she wasn't hiding anything. Hmmm...... Think like a cheater, stay ahead of her, gain access to all her accounts. You serious dude? Why would anyone wanna live like that? Why would any man want to marry someone they couldn't trust?

Whatever, you got your opinion, I got mine. And I think what you're suggesting is ludicrous. I say he needs to drop everything and go. Women cheated on her ex husband, then spent every other month staying with a new guy while leaving her kids at home in another country. And that story that the body builder cheated on is her side of the story. She cheated on him, he dumped her is probably what really happened.

He needs to dump her and go back to his house before it's sold.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 12:47 AM   #52
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No I didn't put the bruises there. Right or wrong, and in this case more wrong, I was wanting to believe her when she said she didn't know how the bruising got there.
I would like to share a photo to get opinions. As I still can't figure out how if was physically possible. That said it looks very suspect and her behaviour backed that up.
It is not possible.

You are blinding yourself from the truth of what is going on.

What do you want to know. Look at the pic, if it looks like a hand print then it is. If you didn't put it there then someone else did. If someone else did it then your wife is cheating on you. Are you wanting video proof or what?
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Old 2nd October 2017, 12:51 AM   #53
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Im trying to work on things and she just gets more angry and closed

Pointless
What will it take to see the writing on the wall?

She has pulled the plug already.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 12:55 AM   #54
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Here are the living arrangements, just to make this situation spind even more messed up. I'll probably confuse people trying to explain things.

She and her husband split up about 2.5 years ago. Due to her cheating and then the damage done from the open marriage. She wanted to save it but he said.. no way! They have two kids together, now 12 and 14.

She then met a bodybuild, over IG, who lives in North Carolina. We live in Alberta Canada. She dated him for about one year and spent every other month down there. That relationship went south after he cheated on her, shocking I know, and she fought for months to get him back. He said no way. She of course had spent a lot of time stateside and away from her kids.

When she was home in Canada, until we met, she lived in the same house has her husband. Separate rooms so she said. And her mom also lives there.

She and I met a few months later and things moved pretty fast. She essentially moved I with me and would go see her kids. We did this for about 6 months at which time her husband, soon to be ex, moved out and I moved into her place.
I have since put my house up for sale.

So she moved me in, wants to get married, openly professes her love...and still is secretive and I'm sure cheated on me. I don't get it.

I couldn't make this sh*t up!!
Ok so you know what is going on.

Move back into your place. Take it off the market. Tell her that you can't trust a thing she says anymore. Tell her to have a nice life and run.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 1:00 AM   #55
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Ok so you know what is going on.

Move back into your place. Take it off the market. Tell her that you can't trust a thing she says anymore. Tell her to have a nice life and run.
I agree. You don't need to investigate. You know. You should just leave.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 5:57 AM   #56
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You are in denial stage my friend. This could not be more obvious what is going on but you apparently refuse to believe it .

There is no advice here that anyone can give you that is going to change what she is doing. Only you can change your reaction and actions to it.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 8:34 AM   #57
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You are in denial stage my friend. This could not be more obvious what is going on but you apparently refuse to believe it .

There is no advice here that anyone can give you that is going to change what she is doing. Only you can change your reaction and actions to it.


I am not so sure it is denial rather than shock and trying to process this all the best he can. I definitely think he knows what is going on in his gut but with a reaction and lack of respect she has shown, trying to work this out with her will only hurt him worse in the long haul...especially if they get married. She is just not marriage material. She wants to have sex with many men. She was in an open marriage. She cheated before that and since. Hopefully his eyes have opened to the fact that there is nothing here to work with. She will always be a revolving door looking for the next big thrill.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 9:55 AM   #58
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In response to the last post, I think you're right. It is more shock than anything. It may seem like it but I'm not a fool.

Here was a gorgeous, brilliant, witty, funny, engaging and what I thought was a loving and trustworthy partner...which blinded me. As sad as this is to say, I let my guard down and trusted and loved her like I've never done before.

The more I think about it the more I feel I may have been used. My house as an eacape her kids that she didn't want to deal with, from a mother who was hard on her and a soon be ex husband that didn't want anything to do with her. The ex and I actually get on quite well, seems like a nice guy...she simply messed up and has done so many times! There is a pattern.

I know what I need to do, it is just hard to pull the trigger!

This forum / discussion has been good for me and whilst it is difficult to explain in detail for ppl to understand what has transpired, it seems obvious to everyone here what has happened and what is the right course of action for me to take.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 10:06 AM   #59
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Here are the living arrangements, just to make this situation spind even more messed up. I'll probably confuse people trying to explain things.

She and her husband split up about 2.5 years ago. Due to her cheating and then the damage done from the open marriage. She wanted to save it but he said.. no way! They have two kids together, now 12 and 14.

She then met a bodybuild, over IG, who lives in North Carolina. We live in Alberta Canada. She dated him for about one year and spent every other month down there. That relationship went south after he cheated on her, shocking I know, and she fought for months to get him back. He said no way. She of course had spent a lot of time stateside and away from her kids.

When she was home in Canada, until we met, she lived in the same house has her husband. Separate rooms so she said. And her mom also lives there.

She and I met a few months later and things moved pretty fast. She essentially moved I with me and would go see her kids. We did this for about 6 months at which time her husband, soon to be ex, moved out and I moved into her place.
I have since put my house up for sale.

So she moved me in, wants to get married, openly professes her love...and still is secretive and I'm sure cheated on me. I don't get it.

I couldn't make this sh*t up!!
Why are you still there?

This woman does not appear stable. Take the for
sale sign down and move back into your old house.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 10:44 AM   #60
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In response to the last post, I think you're right. It is more shock than anything. It may seem like it but I'm not a fool.

Here was a gorgeous, brilliant, witty, funny, engaging and what I thought was a loving and trustworthy partner...which blinded me. As sad as this is to say, I let my guard down and trusted and loved her like I've never done before.

The more I think about it the more I feel I may have been used. My house as an eacape her kids that she didn't want to deal with, from a mother who was hard on her and a soon be ex husband that didn't want anything to do with her. The ex and I actually get on quite well, seems like a nice guy...she simply messed up and has done so many times! There is a pattern.

I know what I need to do, it is just hard to pull the trigger!

This forum / discussion has been good for me and whilst it is difficult to explain in detail for ppl to understand what has transpired, it seems obvious to everyone here what has happened and what is the right course of action for me to take.
I hope you pull the trigger on this toxic relationship TODAY. You are only prolonging the inevitable and if she cries and tries to give you assurances that she will give you transparency etc it will be BS. She has a well established pattern. You are in a great position to take care of you and she made the choice you don't matter. Love sucks in so many ways and when we let our guards down like we naturally want to, we so often open ourselves to hurt and agony. I hope your next post is that you kicked her to the curb and stood your ground.
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