LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Business and Professional Relationships

Husband just got fired for stealing


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

Like Tree358Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 16th August 2015, 6:48 AM   #181
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 270
I read the first page and i was very amused. The guy stole some old cellphones. Yes, he did wrong. Specially cause he sold them, in my country thats a crime and he would be prossecuted like a terrorist (stealing with the intent to sell).

BUT

Why is everyone judging him? "He is an assh0le" "He is a loser" "Dump him".

The guy made a stupid mistake, but he didnt harm anyone, didnt kill anyone, does he deserve to be judged for the rest of his life? He is not a rapist or a murdered as far as we know.

What a stupid world.
Maxtor is offline  
Old 16th August 2015, 12:43 PM   #182
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 132
I do agree that there has been a great overreaction to this, even though he did wrong.


He hasn't killed anyone, he hasn't cheated on his wife, he isn't an armed robber and marriages survive all these things.


In my professional experience, people have done stupid things at work and many of those are dishonest as well. Forging mileage, false or racked up expense claims and incorrect sign in times are basically theft as well.


I'd sooner forgive my H for this, than having a 10 year affair, or even a 1 month affair for that matter. One may be illegal, but the other is a direct betrayal to me.


He just needs to know that this was very wrong, that he risked his job foolishly and that he needs to think through to the worse case scenario whenever he does something. he's let himself down, but it could have been much worse.


OP, good to her things are getting better.


Mrs T
Trishern is offline  
Old 17th August 2015, 8:34 AM   #183
Established Member
 
Arabella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,434
I can see why casual posters might believe that my husband was judged too harshly if this post is the only thing they have read about us.

As others have pointed out, there are a number of threads you can find searching under my profile if you want some background.

But, to sum it up, my husband was abusive (both physically and emotionally, but mostly the latter) for pretty much our entire marriage. It was only in more recent times that he got better and acknowledged that what he was doing is wrong. While there has been progress, he still has bad days every week when he becomes unduly frustrated and angry at me.

That said, he spent the entire weekend moping around the house. No motivation or desire to do anything. He still agreed to go out with me and our daughter but he wasn't in a good mood.

He has three more interviews this week, so the anxiety is at an all-time high. When he's anxious, he gets very short-tempered which usually leads to him taking out his anger and frustration on me.

Again, I am no longer seeing my therapist, so she felt that it would be ok for her to see him. Plus, I believe that the only reason why my husband agreed to book that appointment is that she was my therapist and I approve of her. He keeps saying how he doesn't want to have to deal with explaining everything to a new therapist and establishing trust, etc. Reading between the lines of what he tells me, she's already a couple steps ahead of the curve in that regard.

I'll continue to update as things develop...
Arabella is offline  
Old 17th August 2015, 10:42 AM   #184
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: US
Posts: 4,098
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arabella View Post
I can see why casual posters might believe that my husband was judged too harshly if this post is the only thing they have read about us.

As others have pointed out, there are a number of threads you can find searching under my profile if you want some background.

But, to sum it up, my husband was abusive (both physically and emotionally, but mostly the latter) for pretty much our entire marriage. It was only in more recent times that he got better and acknowledged that what he was doing is wrong. While there has been progress, he still has bad days every week when he becomes unduly frustrated and angry at me.

That said, he spent the entire weekend moping around the house. No motivation or desire to do anything. He still agreed to go out with me and our daughter but he wasn't in a good mood.

He has three more interviews this week, so the anxiety is at an all-time high. When he's anxious, he gets very short-tempered which usually leads to him taking out his anger and frustration on me.

Again, I am no longer seeing my therapist, so she felt that it would be ok for her to see him. Plus, I believe that the only reason why my husband agreed to book that appointment is that she was my therapist and I approve of her. He keeps saying how he doesn't want to have to deal with explaining everything to a new therapist and establishing trust, etc. Reading between the lines of what he tells me, she's already a couple steps ahead of the curve in that regard.

I'll continue to update as things develop...
I hope he overcomes his wanting to avoid looking at what he did and explaining it because owning it is the route to change. Until he can deal with the harsh truth of his own actions, he's not going to change.

I don't think it is judging someone too harshly to say the truth, and the truth is that he stole. I find it even more disturbing that he thinks there was a grey area in that. Sure, people can be forgiven when they hold themselves accountable and actually change. But he doesn't seem to even want to do that. He seems most concerned that he's not earning money any more.

Arabella, it sounds as though you are an ethical and hard-working person and that you’re married to someone who lacks a basic moral core. Life with someone like that will be perpetual drama.
BlueIris is offline  
Old 17th August 2015, 5:47 PM   #185
Established Member
 
pink_sugar's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NorCal
Posts: 3,629
I just thought I would mention that after this thread was created, it just so happened my CFO at work asked if I could sell some old office supplies and we could split the sale 50/50. He happened to see my ebay shipments going out with the mail at work and decided to ask if I could sell some stuff for him. Maybe the OP's husband could do something like this. If he wants to make a little cash, it wouldn't hurt him to talk with his boss about earning the company a little side cash by selling old supplies and splitting the earnings. It's a win for all.
pink_sugar is offline  
Old 17th August 2015, 8:47 PM   #186
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 372
Quote:
If he wants to make a little cash, it wouldn't hurt him to talk with his boss about earning the company a little side cash by selling old supplies and splitting the earnings. It's a win for all.
When he gets a job and a boss, sure, but I wouldn't make such an offer until well-entrenched in the job. Also likely that prospective employer will already have established arrangements for disposing/reselling old supplies. There are companies who perform those services.
applej4 is offline  
Old 17th August 2015, 9:10 PM   #187
Established Member
 
Arabella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,434
Quote:
Originally Posted by applej4 View Post
When he gets a job and a boss, sure, but I wouldn't make such an offer until well-entrenched in the job. Also likely that prospective employer will already have established arrangements for disposing/reselling old supplies. There are companies who perform those services.
It depends on the size of the company. Smaller ones don't really have a thousand bucks to spare for the proper disposal and recycling of a room full's worth of computer equipment.

The funny (or rather, sad) thing is... after he was fired, the director actually said that he wished he'd said something and they could've gone 50/50 and sell all that stuff.

And by the way... the reason why I talk about my marriage despite this being a purely work-related matter is because it's relevant. My husband is not in a good state of mind and that is likely one of the reasons why he did this in the first place. I find that the people here, especially those who have read my prior threads, have a wealth of advice to offer... and this advice often encompasses many areas, not just the one specific issue I happen to be posting about.

He feels today's interview went okay. He has another tomorrow, and we just got another voicemail from a major US company interested in discussing another role with him.

Sure, there are lots of opportunities appearing... but he seems completely unmotivated. It's hard to respect him after all that's happened, but his behavior right now is the most off-putting thing ...
Arabella is offline  
Old 17th August 2015, 9:39 PM   #188
LoveShack.org Moderator
LoveShack.org Moderator
 
William's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Riding the rails
Posts: 3,816
Quote:
Originally Posted by kenmore View Post
While I think that if someone is going to make judgments on the validity of other people's posts in a certain thread they should have read most if not all of it first. That is true. I screwed up and I admitted that right away. I see no reason why in order for my posts to be valid I should have to research someone's entire history though.

Also, there have been many instances where I will read an original post and wish to make a comment on it specifically, and if there are many pages of replies already, don't feel I need to read all of the pages in order for my comment to be valid. Sure I may repeat what someone else has already said, but if I make it known right out of the gate that I have not read all of the comments, that can be taken into account when reading my response.


[Quote from moderation]

That was from page 7 (I knew I had read it somewhere), if their past lives and problems are to be discussed and taken into account here, actual quotes and references should be put in, not random comments like (you idiot, don't you know their history?) Since I chimed in at page 9, obviously there was an issue before I came along.

And yes, I believe there is a kinder way of pointing it out to someone.
Since a member quoted a moderation post and we seem to have some issues with following it and/or topic content and location, I'm going to close this up while I take a look at things. Thread starter, the 'alert us' link is at your disposal if you have any requests to make. We'll take them into consideration. Thanks everyone for your input so far!
William is offline  
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
stealing from me lost in this Dating 10 20th September 2014 10:38 AM
Husband fired for watching child porn! rosiewillford99 Addiction & Recovery 24 8th April 2013 3:52 PM
Stealing a GF or not? Balthazar Dating 7 30th May 2008 3:23 PM
Is stealing someone else's husband ok? tanita The Other Man / Woman 64 3rd March 2005 9:12 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 4:24 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.