LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Breaks and Breaking Up

Broken heart hurts so bad


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Like Tree88Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 16th February 2017, 5:43 PM   #76
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 1,379
Journal Entries: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal1111 View Post
Thank you LitTunel,
My brain definitely knows life with him would be a miserable and void existence.

Every year right before the holidays I have an anniversary of the passing of my twin girls. Lost them at 5 months. (another man and another lifetime)

I grieved the loss, got to kiss them goodbye, I got closer, and so on.

The anniversary still stings a little but I go on throughout the day and I'm able to work or whatever else I need to do.

A few of my friends chipped in and got me flowers and another friend said she'd be in the area if I wanted to have lunch or something. You know, just normal stuff you do for people you care about. You want to let them know they're loved and thought about. (Those little things REALLY help)

My ex was too busy posting on Facebook about celebrities birthdays and where he at tacos that day. I heard from him that evening and he said I sounded a little down. I told him why and he said he knew that but didn't message me because he didn't want to make me more upset. Total lie of course. He just didn't care I guess.

My brain knows he's NOT THE ONE FOR ME!
I just wish my heart would sit this one out and shut up!

I mean, I've learned to accept I have to live without my beautiful baby girls, I can certainly live without such a selfish phony!

I keep telling myself time will do wonderful things.
I can't wait until he's just a distant memory.

Thanks again for your support.

Sounds like this man lacks emotions and perspective of others.

Rejection is a powerful punch to anyone... but when we are rejected or feel unwanted by someone else. There are tons of other people who can give us that love and compassion we need. Yet, we tend to forget to have this love and compassion for our selves.

Its when you have this compassion for your self.. that the rejection doesnt hurt as much.
Sweetfish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th February 2017, 9:23 PM   #77
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal1111 View Post
Thank you LitTunel,
My brain definitely knows life with him would be a miserable and void existence.

Every year right before the holidays I have an anniversary of the passing of my twin girls. Lost them at 5 months. (another man and another lifetime)

I grieved the loss, got to kiss them goodbye, I got closer, and so on.

The anniversary still stings a little but I go on throughout the day and I'm able to work or whatever else I need to do.

A few of my friends chipped in and got me flowers and another friend said she'd be in the area if I wanted to have lunch or something. You know, just normal stuff you do for people you care about. You want to let them know they're loved and thought about. (Those little things REALLY help)

My ex was too busy posting on Facebook about celebrities birthdays and where he at tacos that day. I heard from him that evening and he said I sounded a little down. I told him why and he said he knew that but didn't message me because he didn't want to make me more upset. Total lie of course. He just didn't care I guess.

My brain knows he's NOT THE ONE FOR ME!
I just wish my heart would sit this one out and shut up!

I mean, I've learned to accept I have to live without my beautiful baby girls, I can certainly live without such a selfish phony!

I keep telling myself time will do wonderful things.
I can't wait until he's just a distant memory.

Thanks again for your support.
I'm really sorry to hear about your girls, my deepest condolences

I was actually born due to my slightly older brother who died not to long after birth. My parents had me to make up for his loss.

It seems based off of your situation you've described in your previous threads you're going to bounce out of this funk in a much sooner period. Just hang in there because your breakup is still relatively fresh so you're going to need a bit more time. You're doing awesome, keep it up!
LitTunnel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th February 2017, 9:40 PM   #78
Established Member
 
Crystal1111's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 80
You were a gift!

Thanks for sharing. I SO much hope you're right. I want to bounce back. I miss my old happy self. I miss ME!
The fun loving free spirit I used to be.

I don't even recognize this sad and exhausted woman I've become.

I want me back. Not him.

Hope you're finding some peace in your healing.

I still can't listen to music. I'm too scared
Crystal1111 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th February 2017, 10:19 PM   #79
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal1111 View Post
You were a gift!

Thanks for sharing. I SO much hope you're right. I want to bounce back. I miss my old happy self. I miss ME!
The fun loving free spirit I used to be.

I don't even recognize this sad and exhausted woman I've become.

I want me back. Not him.

Hope you're finding some peace in your healing.

I still can't listen to music. I'm too scared
Awww, you're so sweet. Thank you Crystal

But ya, you and me both! I've become a shell of myself and it's been almost 9 months!!!
LitTunnel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th February 2017, 9:33 AM   #80
Established Member
 
Crystal1111's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 80
LitTunel,
Hopefully the nightmare is almost over for you. I really hope so. It's such an awful feeling.

Getting ready for work and I'm feeling much better than yesterday. (Thank you, God!)

I have a full day of work then baking cupcakes tonight to take to a girlfriends party tomorrow.
Kind of a grown up slumber party. (Haven't done that in years and excited about it )

Not a man bashing fest. I don't partake in that. I love men! but it will be nice to see my girlfriends without 'couples' pressure, if that makes sense.

Seems like it's so much easier when I have things to look forward to so I'm grateful.
It's in a part of town I've never been to so that helps. No memories with him in them.

As slow as recovery seems, I think it's happening.

Thanks again and I hope everyone reading this continues to heal and feel better.
Crystal1111 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th February 2017, 12:44 PM   #81
Established Member
 
Crystal1111's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 80
Spoke too soon. That feeling of OMG, I can't believe I'll never see him hit me like a train. I cried for a good 5 minutes.

I get the feeling he's bounced back and is doing fine. I'm actually glad because I did and said some things towards the end that I'm not proud of. I want him to be happy even if it's not with me.

I feel like I got shot, but lived through it
Crystal1111 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th February 2017, 2:11 PM   #82
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal1111 View Post
Spoke too soon. That feeling of OMG, I can't believe I'll never see him hit me like a train. I cried for a good 5 minutes.

I get the feeling he's bounced back and is doing fine. I'm actually glad because I did and said some things towards the end that I'm not proud of. I want him to be happy even if it's not with me.

I feel like I got shot, but lived through it
Oh do I feel your pain. Believe me. Listen hun, we're pretty much walking an emotional mind field. Every now and then we're gonna get hit when we least expect it. We just have to take the hit, feel the pain and move forward, inch by inch.There really isn't a quick fix here at all, but time. Eventually we'll walk out alive from the mind field. And even better meet someone new who will fulfill our deepest needs and wonder what the hell we were thinking during these times
LitTunnel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th February 2017, 2:54 PM   #83
Established Member
 
Crystal1111's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 80
Thank you. I have a feeling in a couple weeks I'll be feeling completely different than I do now.
Trying to hang on to that thought.

I think I've realized why I'm having a hard time letting him go even though I'm absolutely sure it's for the best.

I've never, EVER been with someone this selfish and hard headed.
I some weird way I feel like I failed because I couldn't get through to him.

It's stupid and I have to let that go. I'm not a failure and I have to forgive myself.

Like I said, in a couple weeks I think I'll feel much different (maybe not completely healed) but a jump start to it.

I'm wondering if I should date again.
Crystal1111 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th February 2017, 7:58 PM   #84
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal1111 View Post
Thank you. I have a feeling in a couple weeks I'll be feeling completely different than I do now.
Trying to hang on to that thought.

I think I've realized why I'm having a hard time letting him go even though I'm absolutely sure it's for the best.

I've never, EVER been with someone this selfish and hard headed.
I some weird way I feel like I failed because I couldn't get through to him.

It's stupid and I have to let that go. I'm not a failure and I have to forgive myself.

Like I said, in a couple weeks I think I'll feel much different (maybe not completely healed) but a jump start to it.

I'm wondering if I should date again.
Crystal, I might wait off a bit because you're still fresh off of your breakup. But that's up to you. You could possibly try a date here and there just to test out the waters but do expect to feel lousy if the date goes kinda not as expected. I know that happened to me. After the dates I would miss her 10x more because I kept comparing. But I guess you can only know if you try. And no, you're not a failure. You did the right thing
LitTunnel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th February 2017, 9:35 AM   #85
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 15
Just finished first 24 hours of no contact and know exactly how you feel. My mind keeps telling me she was just not good for me but my heart won't stop. How long before that sick stomach feeling goes away? When will food taste normal again?
Trichrome is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th February 2017, 10:48 AM   #86
Established Member
 
Crystal1111's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by LitTunnel View Post
Crystal, I might wait off a bit because you're still fresh off of your breakup. But that's up to you. You could possibly try a date here and there just to test out the waters but do expect to feel lousy if the date goes kinda not as expected. I know that happened to me. After the dates I would miss her 10x more because I kept comparing. But I guess you can only know if you try. And no, you're not a failure. You did the right thing
Yeah, I think I'll play it by ear. I'm on a dating site and I've casually chatted with a couple guys.

If I met someone that I think I might have a fun time with, I'd be open to it but I don't want to push myself.

Hope your weekend is going well so far.
Crystal1111 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th February 2017, 11:01 AM   #87
Established Member
 
Crystal1111's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trichrome View Post
Just finished first 24 hours of no contact and know exactly how you feel. My mind keeps telling me she was just not good for me but my heart won't stop. How long before that sick stomach feeling goes away? When will food taste normal again?
Hi,
I'm on day 12 hardcore NC.
Sorry you're going through this too.

I'm still sick to my stomach at times but it's not near as bad. The first couple days I couldn't eat at all. It sucks because I love both cooking and eating and I just wasn't interested.

I keep trying to remind myself that loving him would be such a waste. I'd have to give up so much of myself. My art, my friends, my interests, hobbies and so on.

Not because he would want me to. He's not abusive or anything. I just mean his interests, friends, family, etc would always come first. Vacations and things like that would all have to work with HIS schedule. Screw that!

NC for me has always been pretty easy. He could have packed up and moved to China by now for all I know. So I guess I'm lucky in that way.

Best of luck and post anytime. It really helps.
Crystal1111 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th February 2017, 11:15 AM   #88
Established Member
 
Crystal1111's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 80
Trichrome,
Wanted to add,
I don't know if it's the same for you but I kinda feel like it's a bad habit I need to break.

Like quitting smoking or junk food (much more painful though )
I know it's bad for me. It wasn't a healthy relationship. But I still crave it.

I'm really hoping I'm almost at the end of it.
Crystal1111 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th February 2017, 11:51 AM   #89
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal1111 View Post
Trichrome,
Wanted to add,
I don't know if it's the same for you but I kinda feel like it's a bad habit I need to break.

Like quitting smoking or junk food (much more painful though )
I know it's bad for me. It wasn't a healthy relationship. But I still crave it.

I'm really hoping I'm almost at the end of it.
Crystal, something tells me at a gut level that you're a strong woman and you're going to get through this in no time. I seriously wish I was in your shoes. Unlike you, even though I initiated the breakup I still was dumped in the end with absolutely no power whatsoever in my court and this is what's holding me back is that I crave her even more because I can't get to her anymore even if I wanted to. I wished after I broke it off with her I kept my NC and never broke it. Because I pursued her she knows I want her and she now can have her ways with me and pretty much decided I wasn't of value. This really kills me with regret that I can't even begin to describe. The humiliation and regret on my part is unbearable because I still love her and want to be with her but she wants nothing to do with me ever again.
LitTunnel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th February 2017, 12:34 PM   #90
Established Member
 
Crystal1111's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 80
Hi LitTunel,
I really understand your pain. Technically I was the dumper but I get the feeling at the end he wanted out also so I really consider myself the dumpee. That's exactly how I feel. Completely powerless. I pulled the trigger but I think he wanted me to.

I have moments of regret and now it's too late. Hoping that will pass and SOON!

Thank you for your confidence in my situation. That really helps. I'm hoping your pain gets less and less also. It will. Just seems like it won't right now.

Hang in there and I really hope you're able to get some peace of mind soon.
Thanks for always taking the time to share.
Crystal1111 is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
6 Months, She Stops Herself from Feeling, Now Broken Up and Broken Heart yankeefan4255 Breaks and Breaking Up 3 31st March 2015 7:39 PM
first broken heart. yep. it hurts.. Bitzer74 Breaks and Breaking Up 3 29th July 2011 6:09 AM
How Do You Heal A Broken Heart? Tips on Getting Over A Heart Broke Fufu Coping 8 5th May 2011 11:40 AM
Broken Heart Needs Healing...how To Make Someone Have A Change Of Heart??? kalari26267 Breaks and Breaking Up 2 23rd May 2004 5:35 PM
Science discovers why a broken heart hurts so much.... Tony T Coping 4 10th October 2003 4:36 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:48 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.