Hello again my new friends,
Wasn't sure if I should post this on my other thread but I realized I didn't really tell my story (I was such a wreck yesterday) so this is really just a post about what happened and a little more insight.
I'm 45. He's 55. Not one of our differences.
Trying to keep this short.
We both work very hard and have good jobs.
That being said,
I'm over and done with my party years, he likes to go out to bars and golf. (When I say golf, I mean every single day weather permitting) not exaggerating.
I enjoy my own company, he can't stand being alone.
He lives in the same house he grew up in and hangs out at the same places with the same people.
I've lived in 4 different states and who knows, maybe I'll live in another.
He's very much into Facebook and social media, has over 1,300 friends, where as I have a little over 100 and I know them all. Facebook is very important to him and it's always a really big deal to him how the world perceives him, where as I use it to stay in touch with friends. I don't really care about being 'popular' or whatever. He will actually position a beer can in his pics so it's 'just right' whereas, I don't really think about those things.
I once tagged him in a pic that I thought was cute. He fell asleep and I painted his toenails red. He was pretty mad and made me take it down because he was worried about all his 'friends' seeing his 'ugly' toes. I thought his toes were adorable btw, I also tagged him once when I made him a pie (I'm a great cook) his response was 'my friends are going to give me so much crap about that'
That really hurt my feelings.
I used to tease him that I was too old for him because he's like a teenage girl with fb. He always had his phone out. I put my phone away with him only because I thought that was kinda rude.
He's also very much into watching all sports. I'm just a football girl.
I would rather go camping or go to museums, he likes to go to bars. Seriously, I asked him to go camping last summer and there was always a golf event or a party that he absolutely HAS to go to or all his friends will be so dissapointed. I honestly don't think he could go a whole weekend without Facebook or golf.
He's a creature of habit, I guess. I'm more up for trying new things and meeting new people.
I absolutely DO NOT want him to give up the things he loves or change his ways. He works very hard and he has every right to golf at every free moment and go out with his friends. (I was always invited but, like I said, sitting on a barstool is just not my thing anymore ) In my eyes, he lives like a man in his twenties but that's his choice. He's not hurting anyone. (Except me) he spreads his love so thin and I always felt like I got the 'leftovers'
Anyway, we are very different in so many ways.
Neither of us wanted this breakup and our hearts have both been through the ringer.
If you asked him, he would say I broke his heart.
I feel bad writing this and actually started crying again. He's not at all a jerk.
He's a people pleaser and just wants everyone to be happy. He doesn't hurt anyone and is a really nice guy, which I always loved. He doesn't have that tough guy attitude. He's very caring and not afraid to show it.
He's not the smartest guy ever but he has a heart of gold.
I'm not perfect by any means and I take full responsibility for my part in the demise of our relationship. I would feel hurt and neglected and said some things I regret.
I guess my whole point in sharing this, is I ended it because I don't want him to resent me someday. I've tried talking to him about this so many times. He doesn't see the problem.
I guess that's it. I felt neglected and taken for granted and tried so hard to talk to him but always got a 'you hear what you want to hear' or 'you took it wrong'
Pretty much shut down when I tried to talk to him.
I could never seem to explain this to him.
Anyway, they say opposites attract but, not in my case.
The saddest thing is he thinks I broke his heart. Makes me so sad because I really didn't want to. My heart is broken too. I love him so much!