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Why do you think you're really single?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 23rd November 2017, 9:19 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by Mysterio View Post
I like having sex with women that know me. I can't do the FWB or Hookers.

I like being with people that know me. For me what I don't like about being single is the lack of physical affection. I hate going daily without it. Take that away and I have no major problems being single.
Ditto. I couldn't sleep with a prostitute. It's just nasty to think of all the guys before me, etc. Then you factor in STDs - no way. I like to be selective with women. I could do an FWB if she wasn't sleeping with anybody else. That's about the extent of my whoring around.
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Old 23rd November 2017, 10:51 PM   #47
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I really don't see women in their 20 to 50's, just being ok with sleeping around and having FWB. For them a FWB is default until they can turn the guy into their BF or SO.

I don't see women like that on a whole unless their lives is off kilter.
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Old 24th November 2017, 12:00 AM   #48
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Originally Posted by Mysterio View Post
I really don't see women in their 20 to 50's, just being ok with sleeping around and having FWB. For them a FWB is default until they can turn the guy into their BF or SO.

I don't see women like that on a whole unless their lives is off kilter.


I agree with you unless the FWB is accompanied by an a large age difference and a large bank account.


This thread has been interesting because there are certain common attributed between those of us who are single and battle to date.
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Old 24th November 2017, 1:10 AM   #49
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FWB for me is a person whom I don't want to date.

I now and then talk about one FWB I had but actually there were two - the first was less than a month and he was rich - had a great house, great job - he fell hard and fast really suddenly before I even sensed it and wanted me to move in with him, spend Christmas with his family.
The second lasted about 3 months, the last time I went out with him he proposed to me - he was also very well off and in property investment.

I've even had lodgers that fell for me without me being at all interested or giving them any signals at all of interest.
One moved out 4 weeks after moving in claiming he was in love with me and having a nervous breakdown - this was all out of the blue.
I got home from work one day to find him sitting on the stairs in floods of tears.

FWB and lodgers are both not people I would date and I wouldn't get into a situation where there could be a potential to be interested in that way in them.
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Old 24th November 2017, 2:06 PM   #50
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Originally Posted by ZA Dater View Post
I agree with you unless the FWB is accompanied by an a large age difference and a large bank account.


This thread has been interesting because there are certain common attributed between those of us who are single and battle to date.
Ooh what did you notice?
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Old 24th November 2017, 5:52 PM   #51
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FWB for me. They don't know you well. You are just able to tap into their Sx Groove for the most part.

I had one, but I got rid of it quickly. I am a BF type of guy. I to this day, don't see the thrill of being with a lot of women. I just don't see a lot of them gung ho about things of that nature.

Most women are trying for a LTR. Not hook ups. The ones that are. They usually have messy lives.
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Old 24th November 2017, 10:27 PM   #52
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Not gonna lie, i'm single because I sit in my room all day playing Sims. Kind of hard to meet people when you're not using online dating, or not going out.

I love that game!
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Old 25th November 2017, 7:28 AM   #53
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I dont meet a lot of people. I go out and do things, but theyre female dominated or people are already there with their partners. Its very unlikely ill meet a single guy at a restaurant on fridays or at the movies. I dont like clubs. Im through with online dating.
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Old 25th November 2017, 10:14 AM   #54
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Because it is just too awesome and enjoyable to be single to have an urge to move from this status.

Over the years I tolerated relationships. I felt miserable but stoically stayed in because that's what I thought I'm supposed to do. I stayed 5 (five!) d*mn years from day 1 to day 'final' of this relationship adventure (changing the dudes 3 times). I achieved the following: 1) lost friends 2) lost hobbies 3) became less efficient at work 4) spent money that I could have invested in something meaningful AND most importantly 5) lost the ability to fall in love. The final one came possibly from the fake 'lovey' expressions and actions in the relationshipy times, that created love-aversion in me. I imagined this love aversion is just a result of getting old, but heck I was only in 27-32 during that soul-crushing time.

A blessing in disguise happened and I found myself single in 2017. I literally got my blood flowing back into my veins. I reconnected with dear friends, revived forgotten hobbies, got better at work, invested in what I liked to, and fell in love! Literally the first date that wasn't 'headed to a relationship prison' made me fall in love again. I realized I'm still my old self, still able to experience emotion, still able to enjoy life!

I'd need some day to venture back into the un-single state, so I thoroughly enjoy my single days while I can Next year I'd need unfortunately to settle with someone because it's time to have children, and it makes me sad but happy in the same time because I had my year(s) of single bliss.
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Old 29th November 2017, 12:08 PM   #55
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Its me again lol

More reasons.

I dont find most men attractive.

Also, one of the most salient things about a relationship to me is that it ends. People say i make up scenarios in my head like

"Ill get dumped then ill have to see him at the gym "

But to me its a very real risk. Ive been dumped everytime i have tried to date someone. I cant just shake it off.

I recently thought abt how much fun it would be to have an ice skating date. We would laugh and fall together. Then i thought abt the relationship ending. I started feeling like i had dodged a bullet.

The more i am single, the more the benefits of a relationship seem abstract. However, the idea of being dumped is very real to me. Thats not a good combination.

Some say its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I dont know if i feel that way.

Last edited by hotpotato; 29th November 2017 at 12:33 PM..
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Old 29th November 2017, 5:44 PM   #56
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Sometimes, some of us have to chill and enjoy being single.
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Old 29th November 2017, 6:21 PM   #57
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Originally Posted by hotpotato View Post
Its me again lol

More reasons.

I dont find most men attractive.

Some say its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I dont know if i feel that way.
I also don't find most men attractive, ftm...



yes, Yes, YES.
Agreed. Whoever came up with that quote must have always been a dumper and never a dumpee....

Last edited by HiCrunchy; 29th November 2017 at 6:37 PM..
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Old 1st December 2017, 2:26 PM   #58
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Originally Posted by Mysterio View Post
For me. I won't play the game. If I am not treated well. Also. I don't feel like 80% of the women that I meet or interact with, would be a well match for me.

So thats my take. My personality and looks are above 80 in my mind. I am more the Good Guy/Hero, striving to do the right thing. I am not perfect.

There is a lot of game playing in dating. Thats what I see. If one is not careful you can get a kid out of it. I for one do not want a child brought into this world, with me and the mom on the outs and raising them that way.
I pretty much fall into this same category at this point in my life. I am single because I have no patience for anything that I even perceive as a game. I have cancelled a half-dozen dates over the last few months because I didn't feel like the communication between myself and the women was consistent or genuine or because there was giant red-flag straight off of the bat. On four different occasions, I have had a woman toss me on the Rolodex after we met; they texted me continually for awhile, we had good conversations and they were flirty and fun. And then they disappeared for a week and wondered why I cancelled date plans with them when they suddenly popped back up.

And yes, I am truly spooky about becoming intimate with a woman because getting them pregnant is a huge possibility, even with protection. I ended it with a woman awhile back because I refused to sleep together unless we had two forms of birth control in the equation. She became upset because she didn't want to get back on birth control pills or an IUD and I told her that a condom wasn't enough protection.

And, in all reality, I am comfortable being alone. I have a good, set routine that makes me happy and helps me to unwind from my job. If I have to choose between sitting at home and playing video games or going out on a date with a woman who has been flaky with communication, video games will win.

I've also been pretty turned-off when it comes to meeting women in RL around here as I have set up date plans with three of them just to find out they were married or they had a boyfriend. Bad friggin' news there.

I will keep on trucking and putting myself out there but I won't jump head first into the dating game unless I feel like the woman is genuinely interested and isn't going to waste my time.
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Old 1st December 2017, 9:38 PM   #59
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It's not by choice. It's not finding the right woman.

I've been hell bent on finding a girlfriend for the last 1.5 years. I've dated a lot (38 - 42 year old range), but was met with women who showed obvious reasons why they were single. I try not to let it cloud my judgment about new ones, but it has made dating a chore. It's gone like this:

1) Meet a girl who could potentially be a gf
2) Date for a month to several months only to have them:

- Cry hysterically after telling her I enjoy rough sex (when she asked) if the woman is into it (previous trauma) (one)
- Expect me to pay for everything, all the time (most)
- Constant need to be out having fun (almost all)
- Throw temper tantrums (a few)
- Be completely selfish in bed (many)
- Make a mess of my house (most of them - after complimenting me on how clean it is)
- Have a complete lack of financial responsibility (almost all)
- Project an entitled attitude (the better looking, the more entitlement)
- Complain about exes and project it onto me (many)
- Refuse to close the bathroom door when using the toilet (one)
- Repeatedly break into the bathroom when I was using the toilet (one - had to lock the door)
- Get up in the middle of sex to "pee". Gross (a couple) and keep the bathroom door open (one). Yuk.
- Expect every meal to be out (many), again with me paying (most)
- Make unreasonable demands on my time
- Go into detail about previous sexual experiences (a few)
- Throw my past relationships in my face when I was stupid enough to share - not gonna do that anymore (a few)

I'm at the point now where I doubt I'll find one worth more than a few months. Dating is such a chore for me now. I've been in relationships most of my adult life and this is the longest stretch I've been single. I think as you get older the good ones are already taken.

In fairness, all my dating had been from online (various sites)
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Old 3rd December 2017, 6:11 AM   #60
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As I have come to realize in my my life why certain things are the way they are.

I think that those of us here are single, because we won't let life bring us an ideal partner in our own time. Basically we are semi impatient.

When I think about my life. I usually only have romantic interest towards me, when I don't make it a priority. Although so far its been short lived. The women that have come towards me, are more ideal than the ones that I go for. in terms of what I like to do etc.

For example. On a physical level. We are on par. looks as well. At least they are single. When I make the choice of woman to go for. Those women are attached in some way. All the women are physically different in my view.

I don't know why its so semi chaotic when I try to take the reins of my love in hand. Its like the universe is saying chill.
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