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I'm dating my second cousin. Is that wrong?

phat_mike

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IpAncA

IpAncA

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Look at the chart in the wikipedia link I posted. It's pretty clear.

I did and I looked at the other one posted. There different or at least a different way of looking at it.

 

Ahh...who cares their cousins lol!!!

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tanbark813

tanbark813

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I did and I looked at the other one posted. There different or at least a different way of looking at it.

 

Ahh...who cares their cousins lol!!!

 

Island Girl's link just dumbs it down a little. :D In the middle of that one it says:

 

"Starting with YOU, children of your FIRST COUSINS are your FIRST COUSINS, ONCE REMOVED"

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phat_mike

phat_mike

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Island Girl's link just dumbs it down a little. :D In the middle of that one it says:

 

"Starting with YOU, children of your FIRST COUSINS are your FIRST COUSINS, ONCE REMOVED"

 

Just to confirm, this doesn't affect my post, we are still second cousins, lol

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IpAncA

IpAncA

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Island Girl's link just dumbs it down a little. :D In the middle of that one it says:

 

"Starting with YOU, children of your FIRST COUSINS are your FIRST COUSINS, ONCE REMOVED"

Okay I'm retarded sorry. :). I'll blame it on the drinking cause I asked my H about it and he's not explaining it right. Doesn't even make sense lol!!!

 

But anyhow sorry and you know what if your both ok with it then go ahead. I mean you didn't even know about it.

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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Okay I'm retarded sorry. :).

 

Are your parents cousins? :p I am sorry...This is just a joke and I couldn't resist.

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ls3360

ls3360

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I just Googled a bit. Apparently marrying of first cousins is very common among Pakistani's in the UK, so I assume it's legal for second cousins.

 

They also note that children of such first cousin marriages are 13x as likely to have recessive genetic defects. I think this means that children of second cousins are 3x (13/4) as likely as the general population to have such defects.

 

Caveats: I am making certain simplifying assumptions. No I don't know the specifics of what qualifies as a defect in their statistics. Nor do I know what the probability is in the general population. -- So these statistics are only a start. To get the real picture you'll have to dig further.

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Island Girl

Island Girl

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Are your parents cousins? :p I am sorry...This is just a joke and I couldn't resist.

 

ROFLMAO!!!!!! OMG I can't breath! That was hilarious!!!!!!!:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

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phat_mike

phat_mike

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Are your parents cousins? :p I am sorry...This is just a joke and I couldn't resist.

 

I was just about to say that but you beat me to it :lmao:

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phat_mike

phat_mike

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I just Googled a bit. Apparently marrying of first cousins is very common among Pakistani's in the UK, so I assume it's legal for second cousins.

 

They also note that children of such first cousin marriages are 13x as likely to have recessive genetic defects. I think this means that children of second cousins are 3x (13/4) as likely as the general population to have such defects.

 

Caveats: I am making certain simplifying assumptions. No I don't know the specifics of what qualifies as a defect in their statistics. Nor do I know what the probability is in the general population. -- So these statistics are only a start. To get the real picture you'll have to dig further.

 

Yea, we do realise that there is a risk of genetic defect. But then again, this is a relationship. I would like to think that it would turn to marriage but it may not. And, like I said, i'm 18 and she's 21. There won't be any kids for a while (touch wood) even if things did get serious.

 

I have read that children born from two cousins are healthy. How reliable this source is I have no idea. However, if things do go that far we will definately be looking into this

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IpAncA

IpAncA

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Yea, we do realise that there is a risk of genetic defect. But then again, this is a relationship. I would like to think that it would turn to marriage but it may not. And, like I said, i'm 18 and she's 21. There won't be any kids for a while (touch wood) even if things did get serious.

 

I have read that children born from two cousins are healthy. How reliable this source is I have no idea. However, if things do go that far we will definately be looking into this

People have been inbreeding for years so I'm sure there are people who specialize in this sort of stuff.

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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I have read that children born from two cousins are healthy. How reliable this source is I have no idea. However, if things do go that far we will definately be looking into this

 

Why not talk to your family Dr about this issue and see what is said then?

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Island Girl

Island Girl

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You could, if it moved in the direction of marriage and forever, consult a geneticist. If there were risks you didn't want to take there is adoption.

 

I would just move at your own pace and not put those pressures on such a young relationship.

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crazy_grl

crazy_grl

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I think you might be surprised at how much the genetic thing isn't a big deal. I know we've all been told that marrying your cousin will make your kids deformed and all that, but I read an article in either Discover or Scientific American that talked about studies which suggest it's not true.

 

The reason people think it's so bad is due to the extreme inbreeding in monarchies in the past and of pure bred animals. In those cases, it's a result of hundreds of years of generations breeding from the same gene pool that lead to such bad results. One generation isn't as disasterous as people think.

 

If both of you have healthy family members, then the chances are good that you have healthy genes and your kids would be fine. IF you two ended up getting married and/or wanting to have kids, you could consult a doctor and have tests run to be sure.

 

Here's a link to an article about it. It isn't the original article I read, but it does discuss the same concepts. http://www.discover.com/issues/aug-03/features/featkiss/

 

If you're interested in the article in the magazine, I can probably look it up for you.

 

As for the legal and moral aspects: I don't know if it's legal. Morally I don't see anything wrong with it, but you'll probably get a lot of disgusted looks from people if/when you tell them. You don't have to tell them though. If both of you are ok with it, then it's none of their business.

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crazy_grl

crazy_grl

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but I read an article in either Discover or Scientific American that talked about studies which suggest it's not true.

 

Oops I just re-read what I wrote, and since I can't go back to edit:

What I meant to say was that it's not as big a deal as society has lead us to believe. Of course it's true that major deforities are more likely to get passed down, but major deformities have to be there first. If the family's gene pool doesn't have them, they can't get passed down.

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phat_mike

phat_mike

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Hey what did your family say about this? Are they ok with it too?

 

To be honest, my mum just doesn't know what to make of it. She suggested we discuss it between the two of us. And that is what we have done. She seemed pretty happy about it though. Seems like she just wants us to be happy.

 

My father doesn't know and to be honest I don't think he would understand. I think he would just go mad and not think about what we want.

 

Her parents are fine with it. It is just between out parents at the moment (except for my father) but i'm hoping it will stay that way.

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phat_mike

phat_mike

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Oops I just re-read what I wrote, and since I can't go back to edit:

What I meant to say was that it's not as big a deal as society has lead us to believe. Of course it's true that major deforities are more likely to get passed down, but major deformities have to be there first. If the family's gene pool doesn't have them, they can't get passed down.

 

I would consider us to be a pretty healthy family. I can't think of anybody with any major deformities.

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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Sooner or later you have to tell your father...You can't keep it a secret, especially if things get serious. Hopefully your mom will defuse your father and take care of damage control so you don't have to deal with it too much.

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IpAncA

IpAncA

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To be honest, my mum just doesn't know what to make of it. She suggested we discuss it between the two of us. And that is what we have done. She seemed pretty happy about it though. Seems like she just wants us to be happy.

 

My father doesn't know and to be honest I don't think he would understand. I think he would just go mad and not think about what we want.

 

Her parents are fine with it. It is just between out parents at the moment (except for my father) but i'm hoping it will stay that way.

Yeah but is that something you can really keep from him.

 

Actually I'm curious as to how you found out?

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phat_mike

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Yeah but is that something you can really keep from him.

 

Actually I'm curious as to how you found out?

 

For now, we can keep it a secret. I guess he will eventually figure it out.

 

Basically, where she lives is quite a small area. So I told my mum I had met a new girl and all that and she was from where she was from. So my mum said joking about something like watch out we have got alot of family over there. So we all had a laugh. Then my mum said make sure her mum's name is not ... and then she came out with a list of names. So I phoned her up and asked her and then we found out..

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crazy_grl

crazy_grl

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For now, we can keep it a secret. I guess he will eventually figure it out.

 

You may want to think about what you're going to do when that happens.

 

Basically, where she lives is quite a small area. So I told my mum I had met a new girl and all that and she was from where she was from.

 

The same thing happened to my brother. They broke up immediately after they found out though.

 

I would consider us to be a pretty healthy family. I can't think of anybody with any major deformities.

 

Well, I'm no geneticist or anything, but I'd think that if your family (cousins, aunts, parents, grandparents, great grandparents, etc) were all healthy, your children would have better odds (from strictly a genetic basis) than if you had a child with someone who, for example, had a mother with cystic fibrosis.

 

I know it's not going to be an issue for quite awhile, but if your relationship does end up lasting and you want to have kids (5 years or more down the line hopefully ;) ) just consult a doctor. It shouldn't be a big issue. You can always adopt or use artificial insemination if necessary.

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