Men-honest:questionaire Re: Porn

[whichwayisup]

You see things one way and that's fine. I am done trying to open your eyes so you'll sort of understand the male brain...But I give up. You don't even WANT to try..

 

You have every right to feel the way you do, but I think you're completely blowing "other thoughts that guys just have" into something more. And taking it personally.

[rainfall]

You see things one way and that's fine. I am done trying to open your eyes so you'll sort of understand the male brain...But I give up. You don't even WANT to try..

 

You have every right to feel the way you do, but I think you're completely blowing "other thoughts that guys just have" into something more. And taking it personally.

 

Thats fine. We don't have to see things the same way. I don't want to see things the way you see them because it would REALLY depress me to know I can never find someone who loves me and is happy with only me. That no matter how much I bust my butt to look good it will not matter. He will still find better out there.

 

In my mind it is personal when the man I love want to be with other women. However I guess we will never agree on this issue.

[whichwayisup]

Nope we won't. And you can feel that (I guess) my husband 'really' doesn't love me because once in a while he "looks" at other women, or thinks about whomever at times when he is masterbating.

 

All I can tell ya is, you're setting yourself up for a HUGE fall if you expect any man now and in your future who is your boyfriend NEVER to be attracted to someone else, or have sexual thoughts for afew fleeting moments...It's normal. Many women as well as men check out others, but it really doesn't mean anything.

[CynicalP]

I'm noticing that among more and more couples that once the kids come or the appearance of their SO changes (usually worse) the sex life goes down.

 

My 35 lbs comment was a response to a statement that stated women seem to lose interest in sex after X amount of time. While it was in jest their was a hint of truth in my comments. Sex is alot like the game of golf; 90% mental 10% phyiscal. It seems when people put on an extra 35 lbs they become self conscious and start to feel less sexy about themselves. The S.O. will pick up not only the fact the person is heavier but worse notices their S.O. takes less initiative in sex because the S.O. feel less sexy about themselves. When the feel less exy about themselves they dont feel like sex as much; thus starting the downward spiral of a sexless marriage.

[IpAncA]

Again if he wants to have sex with someone esle he doesn't love me. I don't care if he is separating love and sex. The fact is he wants to sleep with other women which means I do not satisfy him. Which means he does not care enough about me to only be happy with me.

 

Believe me I understand what your saying BUT how do you know that if your bf/h/ is telling you the truth by saying what you want to here? Not saying that he does that now but what if that were to happen?

 

He could just keep his thoughts to himself and stick to the what you don't know won't hurt you?

 

 

 

My 35 lbs comment was a response to a statement that stated women seem to lose interest in sex after X amount of time. While it was in jest their was a hint of truth in my comments. Sex is alot like the game of golf; 90% mental 10% phyiscal. It seems when people put on an extra 35 lbs they become self conscious and start to feel less sexy about themselves. The S.O. will pick up not only the fact the person is heavier but worse notices their S.O. takes less initiative in sex because the S.O. feel less sexy about themselves. When the feel less exy about themselves they dont feel like sex as much; thus starting the downward spiral of a sexless marriage.

 

Yep I'll agree to that.

[CynicalP]

No never. I find them to be very boring and fake.

 

Again if he wants to have sex with someone esle he doesn't love me. I don't care if he is separating love and sex. The fact is he wants to sleep with other women which means I do not satisfy him. Which means he does not care enough about me to only be happy with me.

 

If you had a choice between the lesser of two evils which would you prefer; On one hand you have a SO who isn't content with the amount or quality of sex in the relationship and uses a little porn to compenstate the difference. Besides lusting at 2D images your SO has no 'phyiscal' desire to be with another women. The other choice you have an SO who isn't content with the amount or quality of sex and also isn't content on just looking at just 2d images. This SO goes behind your back and satisify his lust with another woman or women.

[cutegirl]

Well then I guess it is not possible for a man to really love someone then.

If what you are saying is true. All he is is a shallow jerk looking to find someone he can think about the next time he has sex with his SO.

Porn has EVERYTHING to do with how he feels about his SO and how much sex he gets from her. It is the case in at least alot of the reltionships I know about.

 

Well, most guys I know started watching porn at a very young age once they hit puberty. They usually find the parents' stash or get it through their friends, I'm sure most guys are already developing a habit there once they enter high school. So it's basically something they've been doing for years and YEARS and tens of years, and it's probably near impossible for them to do that once they have a girlfriend.

 

I think for most guys that's how they condition themselves to orgasm, through stimulation from porn or through fantasizing and sometimes both. If it's something they've been doing since a teen and they've been doing it for tens of years it's probably extremely difficult or near impossible for them to stop. It might even be reflex for them, or second nature, something that comes to them really naturally that they can't tune out.

 

I also started to watch porn at a young age (I foind someone's stash in the house), so I kind of got conditioned to it as well in a way I guess. So I can understand why for someone who is used to porn and fantasy, why it would be hard for them to stop doing that all of a sudden.

 

I bet for most guys porn can even be more exciting than real life because the sex acts are more intense, graphic and dirtier. The fantasy is usually better than the reality. I don't think most guys care for the "scripted porn", even I find that kind of lame, the majority are into the gonzo non-stop sex movies.

 

Certain guys might have certain fetishes they can only see in porn for example a guy might like to watch black guys doing white girls, but it's not like it's something he can act out himself cause he's white... Or another guy might like watching a girl getting double penetrated but the chances of his gf letting him and his friends do her like that are probably non-existant. Another guy might like watching midgets getting on. A lot of guys just have weird fetishes that maybe they can only experience through porn.

 

I think porn is not as bad compared to strip clubs. Once you have a boyfriend who gets grinding lap dances to the point he explodes in his pants, you'll realize that porn is only on a screen and not real.

 

And what is it with people being so intimidated by girls in porn? If there's anything I've learned from watching loads of porn it's that for every UNATTRACTIVE (in my opinion) or overweight woman there's a guy out there who'll jerk to it. There's a market for everything! Most of the girls in porn don't even come CLOSE to real life Hollywood actresses and supermodels. It's to the point where porn companies are having a hard time putting their stuff out on High Definiton because the girls are not up to par, with all the acne scars, bad teeth, cellulite on the ass, imperfections... If you're overweight don't be intimidated by porn girls, I hope you know there's actually porn tapes with nothing BUT plumper women. Some guys have a fetish for that!!

 

There's very few girls in porn I would consider super attractive, a lot are butterfaces, have nice bodies but terrible faces. I'm not intimidated by any of them.. Why should I? I look good, I work out, I take care of myself, I make six figures a year without taking my clothes off. Why would some lame porn girl intimidate me or make my self-esteem low?

 

Also, it has nothing to do with how you look anyways. You can look like Angelina Jolie or a Playboy model and your boyfriend or husband will probably STILL look at porn. Most guys are somewhat jerks and want sexual variety. If you are a supermodel your bf might be stroking it to a woman who is even MUCH LESS attractive than you. I think guys can get turned on by any woman, even one who is uglier than his gf, as long as she seems wild and into sex.

 

From what I see, a lot of guys actually SEEK out sexual variety by having sex with prostitutes etc, so I guess you should be lucky if he's only looking at porn. Be worried once he starts making "trips" with the boys to Amsterdam or Eastern Europe or Brazil.

[CynicalP]

Hey Cute, I started out with my sisters stack of glamour and cosmopolitan magazines. I didn't have accesss to porn when I discovered my protein shake ability. The women in those magazines are very close to the women in the men's mags. My wife get's her victoria secret catalog and I am just astonished by the women in there. Might as well be looking at a playboy. I asked her doesn't it bother you the women in the catalog are extremly hot. Does looking at those models make you want to buy that stuff they are selling. Wouldn't they sell more stuff if they had average looking models wearing the bras and panties? Her answer to me was the reason the models are so hot is so that women would think they too by virtue of wearing the Victoria secret products they too could see themselves as equally as hot.

 

I asked her that due to the debates here on LS. I would figure that insecure women would totally feel threatened by those ladies and wouldn't dare purchase a bra or panty from victoria secret. They should use average frumpy looking women. But then even the sear's circulars have pretty decent (above average) models as well. They seem to move product so what so I really know. I will never truely understand how the female mind works.

 

I also made the same point of regardless how beuatiful woman is there will be a point where her man will find another woman equally attractive. One just need to look at hollywood and see the amount of infidelty that exists there. Apparently it takes more than looks to keep a guy interested and faithful ( he will still admire a beautiful women that crosses his path. If he is tactful he doesnt gawk and doesn't get caught ).

[rainfall]

If you had a choice between the lesser of two evils which would you prefer; On one hand you have a SO who isn't content with the amount or quality of sex in the relationship and uses a little porn to compenstate the difference. Besides lusting at 2D images your SO has no 'phyiscal' desire to be with another women. The other choice you have an SO who isn't content with the amount or quality of sex and also isn't content on just looking at just 2d images. This SO goes behind your back and satisify his lust with another woman or women.

 

Well in my opinon they are both bad. Him actually doing it is worse, but they are both wrong.

Well for him not getting sex as much as he wants all I can say in my relationship I doubt that is a problem. We have sex at least once a day (usually.)

[cutegirl]

Hey Cute, I started out with my sisters stack of glamour and cosmopolitan magazines. I didn't have accesss to porn when I discovered my protein shake ability. The women in those magazines are very close to the women in the men's mags. My wife get's her victoria secret catalog and I am just astonished by the women in there. Might as well be looking at a playboy. I asked her doesn't it bother you the women in the catalog are extremly hot. Does looking at those models make you want to buy that stuff they are selling. Wouldn't they sell more stuff if they had average looking models wearing the bras and panties? Her answer to me was the reason the models are so hot is so that women would think they too by virtue of wearing the Victoria secret products they too could see themselves as equally as hot.

 

I asked her that due to the debates here on LS. I would figure that insecure women would totally feel threatened by those ladies and wouldn't dare purchase a bra or panty from victoria secret. They should use average frumpy looking women. But then even the sear's circulars have pretty decent (above average) models as well. They seem to move product so what so I really know. I will never truely understand how the female mind works.

 

I also made the same point of regardless how beuatiful woman is there will be a point where her man will find another woman equally attractive. One just need to look at hollywood and see the amount of infidelty that exists there. Apparently it takes more than looks to keep a guy interested and faithful ( he will still admire a beautiful women that crosses his path. If he is tactful he doesnt gawk and doesn't get caught ).

 

Most of the women who are in mags like Playboy don't do hardcore porn, maybe if you're looking in more hardcore magazine they might be. I just mean in general, just go to a popular porn site on-line, like Bangbros or something. Those girls to me look nothing at all like girls in Cosmo or Victoria's Secret catalogue. You can see a lot of them are not at the ideal bodyweight, some are chunky, some have bad skin... I'm not talking about the glamour airbrushed Vivid type porn, thats more like "tame couples stuff" and most guys are not really into that. I'm talking about the girls who are popular and shooting for tons of sites online and also for dvd's (It's the same girls over and over again), I think they are much more closer to the average woman and more flawed looking than mainstream models.

 

Cosmo Cover girls (who are not celebs) are usually 5'9" and around 120 lbs.

When I watch porn I see lots of girls below 5'9" and most do not have the physique or height to ever be any type of Cosmo cover girl in their lifetime.

 

I never got offended for the girls in Cosmo or Victoria's Secret, I don't find it close to porn at all. Porn to me is just much more graphic and hardcore, maybe I'm just desensitized, but the sex in the media doesn't bother me really.

 

For some reason I do admit preferring to buy stuff from catalogues for myself when the woman is good looking like the VS girls. I would avoid buying lingerie from a catalogue with frumpy looking woman because I'm not frumpy looking and that's not the image I'm aspiring for... lol I'm not aspiring for the frumpy look! I would actually get scared and avoid it!! lol

 

I don't want to buy lingerie or cosmetics from frumpy looking people, because I'm not frumpy looking myself. I certainly don't want to imagine TURNING frumpy after buying their products, I would want to look better!

 

To be honest I don't know of any females that won't buy something just cause the models are hot or who are that intimidated by Cosmo girls or VS models. Models are supposed to be hot. Most of my female friends like Victoria's Secret and we even think some of the girls are not that hot and overrated and not that great, like Giselle Bundchen....

 

I agree with what you're saying about men always looking at other women though. There's a saying "for every gorgeous woman there's a guy who's tired of doing her."

 

Rainfall, I agree with you that most men are jerks, not necessarily cause of porn but just in general. And sometimes I do think I'd rather be alone by myself. I don't really need a man, I make money, I can travel anywhere in the world, do anything I feel like, buy almost anything I want (within reason of course), men just complicate life. You can't change men, but you don't have your happiness depend on a man.

 

Girls are raised up to believe a fairy tale, like their going to find a prince and live happily ever after. No one ever tells them that their prince has been jerking off before they even met, watches porn, and likes to go to strip clubs getting dances, maybe even had sex with prostitutes in the past.

 

I don't believe in fairytaies anymore and I really feel like if it bothers you that men watch porn or fantasize that you can't do anything to change it! Their just gonna do what their gonna do, all you can do if you don't like it is to just leave.

 

Or you can find a guy who's impotent and can't have sex due to physical illness, then you can have a relationship where you know that it's all about love and that he won't fantasize about other women cause there would be no point.

 

It's all about how much stuff you're willing to put up with and if you can't put up with a guy fantasizing that's sad cause the guy will not change. It just an argument that will NEVER be resolved or to which there can be no resolution, cause the guy will keep doing it, and you will keep on getting mad.

[CynicalP]

Well in my opinon they are both bad. Him actually doing it is worse, but they are both wrong.

Well for him not getting sex as much as he wants all I can say in my relationship I doubt that is a problem. We have sex at least once a day (usually.)

 

Well Rain, if your giving him sex on a daily basis then you do not represent the average couple. The supposed average is 2 times a week. (I am so below average). The choice is simple for me, if my wife was like you and having daily sex there would be little need for the porn. I can understand where your coming from now, if you give him sex daily there is no reason for him to seek porn. Makes perfect sense.

[cutegirl]

Well Rain, if your giving him sex on a daily basis then you do not represent the average couple. The supposed average is 2 times a week. (I am so below average). The choice is simple for me, if my wife was like you and having daily sex there would be little need for the porn. I can understand where your coming from now, if you give him sex daily there is no reason for him to seek porn. Makes perfect sense.

 

I agree Rain, your man is wrong in this case. In his case he probably watches porn because he likes sexual variety and wants to look at other woman. It's pleasurable for him to watch other people. Since you feel so strongly about it, all you can do is leave, cause he will keep on watching it most likely.

 

Or it could be that his sex drive is even higher than that, maybe he needs it more than once a day. Some guys have very high libido.

 

Cynical, I thought the average was 3 times a week... 2 is below I think.

[Mr. Lucky]

Well for him not getting sex as much as he wants all I can say in my relationship I doubt that is a problem. We have sex at least once a day (usually.)

Well Rainfall, I have to admit that I haven't reread all of this (and the other) thread, but doesn't the following seem true?

 

If your partner is having sex with you once a day (usually), than any interest he might have in porn or any other form of fantasizing ISN'T about any of the following:

 

Lack of sex - sounds like he is getting plenty

Sexual incompatibility - sounds like you two get along well

Partner's low libido - your sex drive sounds healthy enough

Lack of physical attraction - enough said

Poor communication - If your two are fighting, you're making up quickly

 

So if his (or any other similarly lucky man's) fantasy life isn't about any of the above, then what would be the basis of any need to look at, think about or fantasize about any other woman?

 

Mr. Lucky

[rainfall]

Well Rainfall, I have to admit that I haven't reread all of this (and the other) thread, but doesn't the following seem true?

 

If your partner is having sex with you once a day (usually), than any interest he might have in porn or any other form of fantasizing ISN'T about any of the following:

 

Lack of sex - sounds like he is getting plenty

Sexual incompatibility - sounds like you two get along well

Partner's low libido - your sex drive sounds healthy enough

Lack of physical attraction - enough said

Poor communication - If your two are fighting, you're making up quickly

 

So if his (or any other similarly lucky man's) fantasy life isn't about any of the above, then what would be the basis of any need to look at, think about or fantasize about any other woman?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

 

Well since he is getting sex almost everyday and I haven't "let myself go" (gain a bunch of weight, stop working out, or stop dressing nice) then only thing I can't really come up with a reason as to why he would need to even look at porn.

 

The only thing I can figure is in his mind I lack something that these porn chicks give him. Otherwise I can't really see why he would need porn because its not like he is turned down for sex very often.

[IpAncA]

Well since he is getting sex almost everyday and I haven't "let myself go" (gain a bunch of weight, stop working out, or stop dressing nice) then only thing I can't really come up with a reason as to why he would need to even look at porn.

 

The only thing I can figure is in his mind I lack something that these porn chicks give him. Otherwise I can't really see why he would need porn because its not like he is turned down for sex very often.

Well I agree with what you said.

 

I also haven't "let myself go" and we generally have sex 4-5 times a week but he does look at porn but not a lot like some may think. It's more like a once in a while thing or at least that's what he tells me and have noticed.

[norajane]

Well since he is getting sex almost everyday and I haven't "let myself go" (gain a bunch of weight, stop working out, or stop dressing nice) then only thing I can't really come up with a reason as to why he would need to even look at porn.

 

The only thing I can figure is in his mind I lack something that these porn chicks give him. Otherwise I can't really see why he would need porn because its not like he is turned down for sex very often.

 

I don't think you lack anything at all. It's not a lack within you that drives him to porn. It's his baser instincts that lead him to seek out a purely sexual experience - the porn chicks are objects to his end. He doesn't see you as an object. But it's easy to see the porn chicks that way - and to treat them that way...meaningless. And because he can only see them as objects, he gets the sexual release without hurting your feelings by having meaningless sex with you as his object instead.

[Mr. Lucky]

The only thing I can figure is in his mind I lack something that these porn chicks give him. Otherwise I can't really see why he would need porn because its not like he is turned down for sex very often.

I don't think you lack anything at all. It's not a lack within you that drives him to porn. It's his baser instincts that lead him to seek out a purely sexual experience - the porn chicks are objects to his end. He doesn't see you as an object. But it's easy to see the porn chicks that way - and to treat them that way...meaningless. And because he can only see them as objects, he gets the sexual release without hurting your feelings by having meaningless sex with you as his object instead.

Wow, norajane, are you sure you're not a guy?

 

While it hurts to have a part of my masculinity called a "baser" instinct, it's true. Most men (myself included) wage a mental battle between committment and instinct - even Jimmy Carter, as good a man as has ever been President (and therefore, the most ineffective President we've recently had), famously lusted in his heart. A good man wins that battle by focusing his "meaningful" real-world sexual and emotional energy on his partner. The fact that it takes some occasional self-indulgence to get there is more a reflection on our gender than yours.

 

Mr. Lucky

[Jersey Shortie]

"My reality is actually pretty good. But, I get frustrated sometimes, and instead of complaining or pressuring her to have sex when she doesn't want to, I take matters into my own hand. She appreciates it, because I am being respectful of what she wants.. or doesn't."

 

 

Please don't act like you masturbate to porn all for your wife's sake. I doubt any woman truly "appreciates" her man replacing her with other women even if it is temporary. And that is exactly what you are doing.

 

You are the only man that answered this and I would like other men to comment. Is the reality of what you have so awful that you need to escape from it into a fantasy about a woman that you woman can never measure up to? Are the real women in your life that awful? They apparently are.

 

 

"So it's basically something they've been doing for years and YEARS and tens of years, and it's probably near impossible for them to do that once they have a girlfriend. I think for most guys that's how they condition themselves to orgasm, through stimulation from porn or through fantasizing and sometimes both. If it's something they've been doing since a teen and they've been doing it for tens of years it's probably extremely difficult or near impossible for them to stop. It might even be reflex for them, or second nature, something that comes to them really naturally that they can't tune out. .......I bet for most guys porn can even be more exciting than real life because the sex acts are more intense, graphic and dirtier. "

 

I believe your entire view point to be so unhealthy it is a little scary. I am sure men have been doing it for years upon years, but it is possible for people to change. People quite smoking everyday, people start getting in better shape everyday, this would be no different.

 

In the end, men end of hurting the women in their life and they end up hurting themselves without evening knowing it because they sell themselves out for a naked woman with implants on a TV Screen. The irony here is that part of the appeal of porn is a willing sexual woman that wants to ahve sex with you. The fact that it makes me feel desired. When that is really jsut what their wife and gf wants. And the first way to make your wife or gf feel unimportant, is to be thinking about other women to the point where you are seeking them out and masturbating to them.

 

Apparently it takes more than looks to keep a guy interested and faithful ( he will still admire a beautiful women that crosses his path. If he is tactful he doesn't gawk and doesn't get caught ).

 

Apparently no one woman is good enough for a man to keep him interested and faithful if at the end of the day, he needs to seek out other women too look at and masturbate too.

 

 

 

....romantic love truely existed then people would not seem to fall in and out of it so easily. Romantic love wouldn't be something that is rationalized away or waver depending on your current hormonal state.

 

Prove to me that porn prevents me from loving my parents, my friends, or even my wife?

 

Actually, the problem isn't that romantic love doesn't truly exist. The problem is that people think romantic love is suppose to be easy. And anything worth having, is worth working for. Except people don't want to work for it. They want to satisfy themselves first and foremost. And that is why porn is so praised among men. It is the easy out. It is the easy answer that you don't have to work to hard to deal with. It isn't about doing what's best for the couple. It's about his wants and desires to feel like a man while degrading her's to feel like a woman and a special woman to him.

 

 

I hope the men here tell their little girls what to honestly expect of men as they get old and have relationships with them. No one told me that when I growing up I was going to have to be second fiddle to implanted 18 year olds who spread their legs on command. I hope fathers let their daughters know how just very unimportant women are to men. I hope you tell your daughters that her husband or boyfriend is still going to need to seek out other women because frankly, she just isn't important enough or good enough for him. And the women he is oging to seek out to think about are the ulitmate in men's wants and needs. SOmething she can't dare hope to equal. Because maybe she won't experience the pain, hurt and anguish I have over this subject.

 

I really don't see the point in attemting to please a man, or be close to him, if at the end of the day, what really matters to him is having porn as well as me. If at the end of the day, he isn't really happy with what he has anyway.

 

 

See, and I totally disagree - I can't even begin to imagine how you think porn women could possible replace the woman in a man's life!! I don't believe that porn women are capable of that in the least. And I can't understand how you'd even get to that conclusion. A real woman has so much more to offer.

'

 

Apparently a real woman doesn't have so much to offer from what the men here are saying. If that was true, men wouldn't need porn to meet any needs. But what they are saying is that they need both a real woman and porn, to keep them happy and meet their needs and desires. So you are wrong, real women don't hold much value to men.

[Sal Paradise]

If we didn't desire others there would be no sacrifice. We can give up the act of engaging in sex with others but to give up the thought is pretty much impossible. Without the thoughts we'd have no desire to act on them and we would never do it with anyone. There would be no sacrifice and the love shared between two commited people would be a lot less special and meaningful.

 

Rain see's her boyfriends thoughts as a threat to their love. I would see them as proof of his devotion. Sure he desires sex with others, but his desire to be with her is stronger. So the only sex he engages with another person is with her. He doesn't act on his biological desire to be with as many women as possible because of his love for her.

 

If the person you're with loves you and you're commited to each other then you both have agreed to not sleep with anyone else. Considering the way we're biologically programmed that in itself a major act of devotion. But to expect your boyfriend (or girlfriend) to never have a sexual thought that doesn't revolve around you is egotistical. Furthermore, to expect them to never masturbate while engaging in a fantasy that doesn't involve you is controlling. A fragile ego combined with controlling behavior is the essence of insecurity.

 

I know my girlfriend looks at other guys, has fantasies that don't involve me and sometimes acts on those fantasies through masturbation. I'm fine with that and I'm glad of it. It shows me that she loves me so much she is willing to only sleep with me despite biological desires. To give that up is enough, I don't expect nor want her to sacrifice her fantasies and her imagination as well. I don't need to control her, it would be unrealistic and cruel. Creativity can add so much to your love life if you allow it to and don't feel threatened by it.

[rainfall]

Rain see's her boyfriends thoughts as a threat to their love. I would see them as proof of his devotion. Sure he desires sex with others, but his desire to be with her is stronger. So the only sex he engages with another person is with her. He doesn't act on his biological desire to be with as many women as possible because of his love for her.

 

I know my girlfriend looks at other guys, has fantasies that don't involve me and sometimes acts on those fantasies through masturbation. I'm fine with that and I'm glad of it. It shows me that she loves me so much she is willing to only sleep with me despite biological desires. To give that up is enough, I don't expect nor want her to sacrifice her fantasies and her imagination as well. I don't need to control her, it would be unrealistic and cruel. Creativity can add so much to your love life if you allow it to and don't feel threatened by it.

 

Please tell me you aren't being serious. I'm sorry but that is one of the dumbest things I have EVER heard. It proves he loves me because he wants to sleep with other women but by some miracle he is able to hold himself back from all the beautiful women he wishes I was? He is still wishing he could be with someone esle.

 

I am supposed to feel blessed because when he is having sex with me he is thinking I am someone esle. Wow I just can't believe that you actually think he proves he loves me because he wants to sleep with other women...........

[CarolAnne]

Rainfall will eventually become so frustrated with her inability to control her boyfriends sexual thoughts she dumps him. If you can't fantasize about me and only me, then get out of my life you creep, you don't love me!

 

Then she falls in love with a gay guy in the closet, such as Christian family guy Ted Haggard, because he says she is the only woman he thinks about and he means it. He also seems remarkably well behaved in public, hardly ever looking at other women. What a great guy! Then she realizes she was the only WOMAN he was thinking about, wishing she would grow some balls and a hairy chest and fantasizing all about men.

 

Dumps him, moves on to BF #3

 

Bf 3 is a player and says everything she wants to hear. Oh darling I think of you and only you, those girls on TV and on porno and on billboards are so hideous compared to you I can't even bear to look at them, how could I, when you are so stunningly beautiful and perfect in every way, you are my queen, Scarlett Johannsen is a disgusting dingbat compared to you. Oh, you! You are the ultimate fantasy come to life and when you die I will lay down on top of your grave and slowly starve to death because there will never be another you, my life cannot go on without my every wish's dream, which is you, I might as well stop living.

 

Oops then she realizes he says this exact same thing to his 10 other mistresses who also believe it and cling onto him because it's what they want to hear, who would rather hear lies than the truth.

 

Just a thought.

[rainfall]

Rainfall will eventually become so frustrated with her inability to control her boyfriends sexual thoughts she dumps him. If you can't fantasize about me and only me, then get out of my life you creep, you don't love me!

 

 

Just a thought.

 

Hey just because I am not willing to become pathetic (in my mind) and accept that my man is only with me because I don't "allow" him to go screw every hot chick he sees doesn't mean my relationships won't work out.

 

I really think the people who have fantasys about others are LESS likely to have a successful relationship because eventually they will become unhappy with their real life partner.

 

Actually if me and my current boyfriend break up I will get into a relationship with a guy who I am just gonna "settle" for. Since it is what men do anyways. I then will not be bothered if he wants to screw everything in sight because hey maybe I will as well.

[Mr. Lucky]

Is the reality of what you have so awful that you need to escape from it into a fantasy about a woman that you woman can never measure up to? Are the real women in your life that awful? They apparently are.

A better question, Jersey , is this:

 

Is the reality of the intimate sex life with your man so awful that you are left only with worries about what his thoughts and fantsies are? (and I'm still waiting for someone to explain to me how you read or control your partner's mind ) Because if if your real world sexual connection was satisfying, you wouldn't care about the Fruedian thoughts deep in his sub-conscious. That is the real issue here and the underlying motive behind your continued statements that "real women don't hold much value to men".

 

Mr. Lucky

[cutegirl]

Hey just because I am not willing to become pathetic (in my mind) and accept that my man is only with me because I don't "allow" him to go screw every hot chick he sees doesn't mean my relationships won't work out.

 

I really think the people who have fantasys about others are LESS likely to have a successful relationship because eventually they will become unhappy with their real life partner.

 

Actually if me and my current boyfriend break up I will get into a relationship with a guy who I am just gonna "settle" for. Since it is what men do anyways. I then will not be bothered if he wants to screw everything in sight because hey maybe I will as well.

 

 

I am almost willing to bet my LIFE that ALL guys have passing sexual thoughts or fantasies about other women while in relationships.

 

The kind of guy that you want, the kind that NEVER fantasizes sexually about another woman does not exist on Planet Earth.

 

If you don't want to be pathetic than your only option is to be single.

[rainfall]

I am almost willing to bet my LIFE that ALL guys have passing sexual thoughts or fantasies about other women while in relationships.

 

The kind of guy that you want, the kind that NEVER fantasizes sexually about another woman does not exist on Planet Earth.

 

If you don't want to be pathetic than your only option is to be single.

 

Or like I said be like a man and find someone who I can "settle" for. If I don't really love them I will not care when they decide they want to sleep with the hot chick they saw at the store or from the tv.