My boyfriend doesn't care enough so I want to hurt him back

[Fun2BMe]

That's amazing crazygrl how you stayed so patient until you heard from him. I really wouldn't be able to handle a similar situation like you. But I guess I understand and appreciate your point. It shows how differently I think and approach a situation. It does help to read that. I mean it gives me hope that I have nothing to worry about to.

 

So what about you? How're you doing? Have your heard from your bf?

I can't believe he still hasn't called me. This has never happened before for him to stay out of touch for so long. I logged onto the messenger thing this afternoon and there were no missed calls or messages! Not even an email or anything. I ended up sending him a text. It will be late morning where he's at right now but I don't want to log on to see if he's sent me anything because I will be so devastated beyond anything at this point if I see that he hasn't. I mean he told me about the inexpensive calling plan he got while he's away and he did call me before. Now there is no call, not even an email or anything and it is really hurting me.

 

I spent the day with my nieces who were a total distraction. But several times I checked my phone for a missed call or email and I still have nothing. My only option is to log onto the messenger before the end of the night to check that last place to see if he's sent anything but it hurts so bad that he's totally forgotten all about me, regardless of how busy he is. The last time we spoke he called me first thing he woke up with still his sleepy voice. It only takes a minute to squeeze me in somewhere.

 

I'll try to be patient like you but it really doesn't add up. The thought that he is so occupied with whatever he's doing that for the first time that he's ever been away for him not to call me now for 2 days is something I can't justify or maybe even forgive. I'll try to be understanding but it's really not fair. I do wish I could do something to make him feel some of the pain I go through because of him.. Just when things get better they get bad and worse.

[Fun2BMe]

So here is an update. This was the longest period we have not communicated. For 3 days no emails or calls from him. Then late last night my time I got an email from him telling me what time to pick him up from the airport Sunday.

 

All day today I was contemplating whether or not to respond. I had only mean things to say so I kept quiet. Then an hour ago I saw that he was calling me and I chose not to answer. He followed it up by forwarding the email from last night telling me what time to be at the airport.

 

I finally wrote back to confirm I got the email. I don't know what state of mind I will be in when I see him - upset, indifferent or happy. During our last phone conversation things had gone well and he said he'd keep me posted on everything on the trip yet he kept me in the dark, not calling when he would call at least once a day plus email while on his last trip, leaving me time for my mind to wander as to who he's with and what he's doing.

 

Not sure if he'll think I'm too jealous and insecure if I say something about it but it doesn't seem right at all. Am I supposed to not say anything and let it go?

[magichands]

Whatever happened to my advice about picking up the phone?

 

I guess I'm just a dumb pink elephant. Just a drunken hallucination. Nobody loves me.

[chill chic]

Whatever happened to my advice about picking up the phone?

 

I guess I'm just a dumb pink elephant. Just a drunken hallucination. Nobody loves me.

 

aww..I love you magichands

[magichands]

aww..I love you magichands

I love you too - even if you are a plastic fantastic. When you said you were a model, you really weren't kidding.

[chill chic]

I love you too - even if you are a plastic fantastic. When you said you were a model, you really weren't kidding.

 

yah I have Mattel tattooed on my a** (tramp stamp)

[Fun2BMe]

Whatever happened to my advice about picking up the phone?

 

I guess I'm just a dumb pink elephant. Just a drunken hallucination. Nobody loves me.

 

You know, I completely forgot that advice. I remember what a big impression it had on me when you explained how your gf had enough of it. Well I guess when I am feeling upset at him sometimes I say things to make the situation worse so I make myself avoid causing more damage by not taking his call. If I force myself to sound happy then I will be mad at myself for not being honest with my feelings and for him to think everything is just fine the way he is treating me. If I am all mad then it ruins his mood and possibly his trip which I don't want to do so I end up clamming up.

 

I am glad though that I eventually emailed back, I wrote a short note that I hope he gets my response before he leaves so he'll know I'll be able to pick him up. I mean that would be torture for him to be on a long flight not knowing if he'd be getting a ride from me, if I got his email, if I was mad again and avoiding him. He just sent a follow up email that he will be making a stop somewhere for a meeting in an hour and then head to the airport. It didn't say he missed me, or why I didn't answer the phone or anything else. I am feeling so hurt inside at this whole trip and the thought he will be with her on a long flight back. They will have bonded in a way that I haven't with him, as I have never traveled internationally with him so that is very hurtful, even if their whole relationship is platonic, the thought that he wanted her to go instead of me.

 

And to vip stop hitting on m.h. he is already taken.

[Fun2BMe]

Oh great I just sent him a follow up email complaining about how he's kept me out of the loop about what he's been up to on his trip and it wasn't so nice:confused: I think the fact that he had originally told me he'd be getting back early in the morning only to send me an email that it would be at night and then an email about another meeting he had. I'm here thinking I have no idea what his schedule is, what he is doing and feel completely left out.

 

The computer froze up as I clicked the sent button so I had an opportunity to close the window but I let it go. I hope he won't react too badly to it.

[Walk]

I can understand why you would be upset Fun. 3 days is a long time.

 

But you avoid his calls all the time and won't talk to him for several days in a row. Why is it ok for you, and not for him?

 

Plus, you wouldn't call him on thanksgiving. You were surrounded by family and people who love you. He was across the world, a foreign country with strangers, and the only person he loves can't be bothered to pick up the phone to say "happy thanksgiving".

 

You won't even call him to find out if he's still alive. You message him. Then when he does call, you refuse to answer.

 

I don't feel I have anything to suggest to you. If hearing from him every day was important to you, then you'd pick up the phone and talk to him. If he didn't call, then you need to put forth effort into calling him. Whatever happened to carrying your portion of the relationship?

[magichands]

, then you'd pick up the phone and talk to him.

Quoted for good phone etiquette. I'm just saying.

 

With apologies to both Outcast and blind_otter.

 

PS: I agree with all of Walk's post.

[Walk]

Quoted for good phone etiquette. I'm just saying.

 

PS: I agree with all of Walk's post.

 

You must've skipped over the 99% that were wrong.

 

P.s: Don't you ever sleep?

[magichands]

You must've skipped over the 99% that were wrong.

Well...I said post, not posts. But - that said - you're pretty hot sh*t when it comes to giving advice.

P.s: Don't you ever sleep?

You think magichands is a real pink elephant? You think I make more sense than a spambot?

 

This is crazy...the sun just came up, and it's time for my nap??!! Maybe I need to post a new thread about insomnia. My life truly makes no sense.

[Fun2BMe]

I can understand why you would be upset Fun. 3 days is a long time.

 

But you avoid his calls all the time and won't talk to him for several days in a row. Why is it ok for you, and not for him?

 

Plus, you wouldn't call him on thanksgiving. You were surrounded by family and people who love you. He was across the world, a foreign country with strangers, and the only person he loves can't be bothered to pick up the phone to say "happy thanksgiving".

 

You won't even call him to find out if he's still alive. You message him. Then when he does call, you refuse to answer.

 

I don't feel I have anything to suggest to you. If hearing from him every day was important to you, then you'd pick up the phone and talk to him. If he didn't call, then you need to put forth effort into calling him. Whatever happened to carrying your portion of the relationship?

 

The thing is, that for 3 days he didn't call or email. then one day before he is to return he thinks to call me and doesn't leave a vm. He follows it up seconds letter with an email that only tells me business like what time to pick him up and flight info.

 

I have feelings too. Am I supposed to let him treat me this way then like a starved person as soon as he decides to call me, be right there at the phone late at night to answer it so he could have peace of mind that he has a ride from the airport? All the while I know he is there with a girl he had to pull strings to get her to go on the trip with him? All I do is take him and pick him up from the airport. This was the case when I was with him before our breai up too. Not once have we flown together, yet I had to listen in on him inviting another girl on a first class flight cross the globe.

 

He doesn't contact me for 3 friggin days when he knows I want to hear from him (I told him that much). NOw I don't feel so bad that I sent that email to him. At least it is one step in my desire to make him hurt too. I want to be really late to pick him up too but I won't do that. I am always there for him and do everything then like whoever it was who said it best, take the scraps from him. I am so fed up I can already sense how I am going to explode on him when I see him.

 

Or else I'll take the other advice and tell him it's me, that I need time for myself, that I am feeling depressed about a few things and him carting me off to a therapist won't cure me instantaneously, that I need to be alone for a while. I've said this before (minus the therapy part) and his response is that the best way to chear up is to be around other people and for me to be away from him won't do me any good. I could tell him that before we got back together I realize that I was much happier. In the end, this is all to get his attention and realize how much he is hurting me but I really don't think he'll understand.

 

I'm not even going to bother getting dressed up and looking all cute for him. I am going to go to pick him up in maybe sweats and make an effort to downplay everything to send a message that I don't care what he thinks. Then I'll tell him I can't stay over, that I have to get things done around the house or something or else I will tell him I think I need time apart from him for a while. I don't know but I feel miserable is all I know. I don't think that my answering his call whenever he feels like calling me shows much self respect for myself. He doesn't even share his daily schedule with me so I don't want to call when he might be doing business or whatever the hell he's doing out there.

 

I'm used to relationships where my bf always calls and makes me feel secure with everything instead of going out of my mind like this and feel like I'm being taken for granted. On top of it I do more for him than I do for others and still I get treated like number 2 on his list with number one being work or whatever else he is doing. I am tired of justifying it with excuses like he is very professional and has a lot of business compared to anyone else I've known so maybe this is how the executive lifestyle is but then I see all the other women out there getting showered with more attention and I don't like not to be the center of attention, like there's something more important than me out there.

 

But then if I ever make an excuse not to see him like I'm busy or too tired, he flips out, tells me to cancel whatever else it is I have to do. Yet when he has something else to do I have to always accommodate to him like I only cater to his needs to help him get ahead. Anyways, I am obviously feeling fed up and hurt and confused. I have no idea how I will react when I see him, but I have a feeling it won't be too nice.