zarathustra Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 You go Zara!!!! He makes all these broad, sweeping statements of his version of the "facts" then can't believe us hard working, independent, FIT women take exception to what he says. Unbelieveable!I didn't do much but disagree with him. Didn't call him a woman hater although I think he's a bit of a neanderthal in his perception of women. Apparently some people are just not used to women having a differing opinion than men. Sorry, no doormat here. OP, I'm sorry this thread was TJ'd. I can only say that if you can find activities that he enjoys you can join him and participate with him. Join a mixed softball league or something. Tell him there's beer and wings after and go every other time.
Lennox Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 OP, this is a very difficult thread to keep up on! I had to call in sick just to have the time to catch up! (JK, I really do feel like Im coming down with something). While I'm doing that, I am going to stick to my original thoughts and think this is actually more about what the extra weight represents to you rather than just the weight itself. I'm not sure if you would feel as offended at his weight gain if you had the feeling that he was a hard working, loving, sensitive and strong man that is your pillar of strength that just happened to gain weight because he loved your home cooking a bit too much. Now I'm off to catch what I missed in this thread
michelangelo Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Z, You have an extrapolation problem. You see something I wrote and read in all kinds of thinigs based on your annoyance with me. and you actually believe what you pull out of thin air. I'll comment on what you wrote line by line: Established Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: somewhere out there. Posts: 762 Quote: Originally Posted by michelangelo By stating that women have more leisure time then men generally speaking. if women work similar hours to men in the workplace as well as taking care of household duties which are the realities of the times we live in, by insinuating that men have less time than women belittles what they do at home. === I don't insinuate anything at all about the time women spend at home. I just maintain that men have less leisure time than women do in places such as North America GENERALLY SPEAKING. The average working man spends more time at his employment than women do. Quote: And also tell me what country it is that the average work day is 14 hours a day. Many Asian countries keep those hours. I am in north america in a cosmopolitan city and have kept constant 14 hour days depending on the demands of my work. My mother living in the same city as I do also kept 14 hour days... yes, in at work by 7, leaves at 9. There are people that do work those hours. Many of whom are women. High powered jobs requires certain sacrifices. I know some VP (many of whom are women) of large american firms where during crunch time, they go home to shower and go back to work... They don't sleep because things need to be done. Just because you don't know such people doesn't mean they don't exist. === This is great that you are so industrious. But are you trying to say that your experience of working 14 -hor days is representative of the AVERAGE WORKING DAY for women? I have no doubt there are folks who work those hours. I know them too. But i will never try to argue that the experiences of executives in companies is typical of the AVERAGE working stiff of either gender. And as for crunch time seeing the sunrise type of thing goes, I've lived that life most of my working life. It has been my experience that more men have that happen then women. yes, therer are exceptions, but it doesn't disprove the rule. == Quote: I've been told here that I hate women because I told of a very typical scenario for why a guy might get fat. Namely, that the guy is sitting on his butt 10+ hours a day and doing household chores and childcare duties with no time left for leisure activities. taking care of children is pretty exhausting and you really can't sitt on your butt doing it. If some men would chase their kids around a bit and I'm sure the the pounds would peel off. === And what makes you think that men are not taking care of their kids? I did and still do. No stranger to diaper changing here. I willingly did all of the things needed for my kids to the same degree my wife did. A guy sitting on his butt for 10+ hours at a job is staring at a computer, not watching sports and drinking beer. Quote: I didn't even defend the guy for allowing it to happen, nor say anyone should sleep with him o r be turned on by it. by saying that women can easily look better than men because you men have more time than us, you are defending him for getting that way. You assumed that he had no time to work out because he's such a great husband in other ways. I'm not saying you hate women, but you don't seem to respect women in today's society. === I think you are just plain defensive. I've not defended this particular guy as some great guy. I laid out a scenario as to how a man can get fat and how resentful his wife can be. I pointed at the differences in leisure time bwtween men and women in many homes in places such as North America. I suppose you could point me to sweatshops in China and feel like you've won some points on how I just don't know what I'm taliing about, but that's a bit silly. I respect women. But I don't think you respect men too much, at lieast this man. You read into what I wrote far more than intended. wh is that? Quote: I haven't called women lazy, I haven't said they are inferior, nothing of that ilk at all. No you have not called women lazy, just insinuated that we have all the time in the world to piss away because we don't work and we rely on men to take care of us. === I insinuate no such thing. That is your own head trip. You can own that thought. It is not mine. I believe GENERALLY SPEAKING in place such as North America that women have more leisure time than men. I believe this to be so because men commit more time to their job than women do. and since men and women are splitting domestic chores more, there is a time deficit for a lot of guys. So things like working out drop to the way side. I didn't say this was a good thing, anything to be admired. It just exists. Quote: Interesting that I get lambasted for my opinion. I don't feel that I lambasted you but you presented an "untrue fact". You made a universal statment and I pointed out to you that as a woman, I do not rely on my man to take care of me. That men who work long hours don't have time to work out because they have long hours is also an untrue universal statement as I presented to you a real situation where a man does work long hours and makes time to take care of himself. ==== Yup, youu presented a situation as true, that a man can work 14-hour days, survive on three hours of sleep a day and be fabulously productive at work, a great husband, have plenty of time to work out, be there for the kids, etc. and you want me to both believe that and believe it to be more possible than the scenario i laid out to you. right.
michelangelo Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 1. a guy gets older and is no longer the 25-year-old who can eat everything and stay skinny because he burns off 6,000 calories a day essentially playing sports, going skiing etc. all the time. He gets a job where he sits on his butt 10 hours a day and commutes another 2. 2. he gains five lbs a year and doesn't notice it until he keeps changing pants sizes. By then? he's in his 30s. He has even less time to work out. His wife wants him to watch the kids every chance she can get away from them. <--- WOMAN BASHING! ==== Are you saying that it is untrue that women do this? How is it women bashing to state this? It's been true in my life. ==== 3. By the time he realizes he is too overweight, he is burned out, working out is very hard for him now. So he retreats into eating too much and just lives it.<----- POOR POOR MAN. It's the fault of some outside influence, not his. ==== Sure, the guy should have some self awareness and get out fo the rut. No argument from me on that. But I'm painting a picture of how a guy slides into obesity, not defending it as a good thing. Don't you folks get this? ==== 4. Meanwhile, his wife, who has more free time than he does, is annoyed all the time, and goes on a working out binge and decides he is repulsive. Even though his paycheck gives her the freedom to go get a personal trainer and have many hours of uncommitted time.<---MORE WOMAN BASHING/POOR MAN BS! ==== You'd think that women that do have this leisure time provided to them by their husbands overwork would be grateful, but they generally are not. Please, are you trying to tell me you don't know women for which this is a true scenario? ==== Your mileage may vary, but this is pretty true for a lot of guys. 'Splain all that away now, wouldja? I think what is bugging some of you is that I've hit a nerve. I've never written here that what I've described is how it is for 100 % of all people everywhere. What I've written is true for many many people in places like North America in the post-modern age. Do I have a solution to the problems that result from this situation? Not really.
catgirl1927 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 OOOHHH! Now I understand. If he thinks it's true that women are worthless scum, then it's not bashing to say that. He's just stating a universal truth, because what is true for him is necessarily true for the rest of the world. See???
michelangelo Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Right catgirl, That is what I think, you got me. What an absurdity you write. Are you always this hostile of a flamer? Instead of reading what I write here you just lay out your hostility and assign it to me. I give up. My attempt to shine a little light on a very real thing has been pointless.
catgirl1927 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Right catgirl, That is what I think, you got me. What an absurdity you write. Are you always this hostile of a flamer? Instead of reading what I write here you just lay out your hostility and assign it to me. I give up. My attempt to shine a little light on a very real thing has been pointless. This makes me laugh. Saying women don't work as hard as men is "shining light" on the subject.
zarathustra Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 I don't insinuate anything at all about the time women spend at home. I just maintain that men have less leisure time than women do in places such as North America GENERALLY SPEAKING. The average working man spends more time at his employment than women do. and all the women have pointed out to you that most women spend more time taking care of the house than men which is a REALITY and a PROBLEM in today's society for most women. This is great that you are so industrious. But are you trying to say that your experience of working 14 -hor days is representative of the AVERAGE WORKING DAY for women? I have no doubt there are folks who work those hours. I know them too. But i will never try to argue that the experiences of executives in companies is typical of the AVERAGE working stiff of either gender. as a director of a company, yes, I do work crazy hours. I also entertain my clients as well. a 14 hour day is an average for me, there are times when I've had to go home at 1am in the morning from a client site and head back in at 6 or 7 in the morning. It happens, its life. The average north american work very hard. IT doesn't matter if its male or female. You make excuses for why men don't have time to work out and women do. So even if I men work longer hours at work and women work slighly less hours at work and men work slightly less hours at home and women more, neither gender has time to work out. That is why your argument is so ridiculous. And as for crunch time seeing the sunrise type of thing goes, I've lived that life most of my working life. It has been my experience that more men have that happen then women. yes, therer are exceptions, but it doesn't disprove the rule. Every gender work crazy hours. In your industry (software, if I recall correctly) I see as many women as men. Just as many women working twice as hard because they feel that they have to prove that they are just as good as the men. I've worked in many areas and know that in many arenas women work twice as hard and have to work more efficiently just to prove their worth. And what makes you think that men are not taking care of their kids? I did and still do. No stranger to diaper changing here. I willingly did all of the things needed for my kids to the same degree my wife did. never implied you didn't. Yes, many men change diapers, and from what I've seen of my household, its the moms that are chasing down the kids. Hey.. how do you like the same kind of generalization you've been dishing out? you now know how it feels when its put on you. I think you are just plain defensive. I've not defended this particular guy as some great guy. I laid out a scenario as to how a man can get fat and how resentful his wife can be. I pointed at the differences in leisure time bwtween men and women in many homes in places such as North America. I suppose you could point me to sweatshops in China and feel like you've won some points on how I just don't know what I'm taliing about, but that's a bit silly. Many people who own their own business in North America despite being in your industry work crazy hours too. I have worked in kitchens and bakeries and many times, I have not slept because the hours are simply crazy. Know any chefs? I do... many of them start early in the day and don't get home until 2 or 3 in the morning. I respect women. But I don't think you respect men too much, at lieast this man. You read into what I wrote far more than intended. wh is that? I have absolutely no reason to respect you and I don't think I'm alone here at all. By the way, how is this statment respectful to women and why should any of us respect the following statement? Even though his paycheck gives her the freedom to go get a personal trainer and have many hours of uncommitted time I insinuate no such thing. That is your own head trip. You can own that thought. It is not mine. If I'm the only one who read you wrong, then I would be happy to offer apologies, HOWEVER, given, luvmy2ns and Catgirl also read you the same way, I don't think that you can just turn around and say I have a head trip. I believe GENERALLY SPEAKING in place such as North America that women have more leisure time than men. I believe this to be so because men commit more time to their job than women do. and since men and women are splitting domestic chores more, there is a time deficit for a lot of guys. So things like working out drop to the way side.I beg to differ on this generalization and I have offered many situation where women WORK AS HARD AS MEN. I didn't say this was a good thing, anything to be admired. It just exists.what you claim to exist is a false fact. You either keep your nose down at work and not notice how many people around you are of the oposite sex or you must think that most women in your office leave earlier than you and not doing their fair share of the work. Yup, youu presented a situation as true, that a man can work 14-hour days, survive on three hours of sleep a day and be fabulously productive at work, a great husband, have plenty of time to work out, be there for the kids, etc. and you want me to both believe that and believe it to be more possible than the scenario i laid out to you. right.Hey, all I'm saying is that its not impossible. I lived with my brother for many years we keep a similar schedule. So you don't have to believe it. I believe that yeah, there are many people who think that its ok to make excuses as to not taking care of themselves. As a father, I would hope that you would take care of yourself so that your children can have a good example of what healthiness looks like and that you would live long so that they can have you in their life as long as possible. however that being said, your sweeping generalization is still offensive because its totally not factual. Sorry dude, we're not some dumb women here that you can throw these absurd 'facts' towards. I'm not a big believer in stats, but I do see with my own eyes and all the places I've been that women work as hard as men. Many women work out as men do so that they stay healthy and that usually exert attractiveness. Of course looking around, there are many out of shape people... both WOMEN and MEN. M, you have thrown more insults at me than I ever sent your way. I merely disagreed with you and offered examples within my own life and the communities I have lived in to shed light on your false sense of reality. I don't believe I ever insulted your intelligence as you have mine many a times (i.e. that I have extrapolation problems, that I have head trips, etc.) - I may have called you a neanderthal, but if it looks like one and sound like one (sorry, no sniff test being in the virtual world) then I'll call it one. With that said, I have wanted to say this to you for a loooong time but I didn't want to be rude or mean, but I feel like there's a bit of tit for tat coming your way... I am very surprised that someone who self admits to being in the software industry doesn't know the proper use of simple html language to properly quote someone.
a4a Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 After 4 (or more) long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine... 1) The woman buys the food. 2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. 3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. Here comes the important part: 4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. 5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery. 6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation. Important again: 7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. 8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table. 9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all: 10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts. 11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....
ridingthebulls Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 A 5 yr old didn't write the post, and you were referring to the poster as being prejudiced. Geez! ! Reread my posts again!
zarathustra Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Zara, you rock girlfriend! I think another part of this guy's data is coming from the mere fact that - and I'm just making an educated guess here based on my reality - most men tend to whine more about how hard they work than women, making it seem like they're actually doing more. Please, someone lobotomize me! I'm starting to act like Michelangelo! I found that when I was in university many moons ago and were studying feminism, many women would get mad at me for saying that not only do we have to go out to work now, but we have to do the same things that were traditionally expected of us women. I am grateful for the opportunity to work and have the opportunity to have run my own company, but while working for other major firms I did feel like I had to work twice as hard to get to where I was. I didn't fit into the boys club that was so flagrant within the industry I was in. So it was either work and prove myself or flirt a bit with the boss. Chose the former as opposed to the latter... I took years to get to where I am and it was like clawing my way to the top... then I see posts like M's and the ignorance of such sweeping generalization that proves how hard it is for us women in our society to move up. Through his eyes, we don't work as long hours (assuming both men and women work as efficiently as each other), therefore not as hard. Its quite repulsive to read... then he talks about how us women just take paychecks from men and spend their money, its just so insulting. I have not once gotten money from my H... He pays his share of the bills and yes, his share of the mortgage gets deposited in my account, but its his share of that expense... its not money for me to go hire a Personal Trainer so I can keep fit with all my leisure time.
zarathustra Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 After 4 (or more) long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine... 1) The woman buys the food. 2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. 3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. Here comes the important part: 4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. 5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery. 6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation. Important again: 7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. 8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table. 9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all: 10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts. 11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.... HA!!! That's so funny!!! My man is allowed to start the flame on the Q... but I usually cook the meat. I have let go of my tongs a little now so he gets to grill when we have guests. Gotta let him live the fantasy of being the grill king once in a blue moon. HELL-OOOOO! Is anybody home? You obviously forget the part where you said the kid is being raised to be prejudiced. Apparently, the poster must be involved in some way. Go have a drink with Michelangelo. I don't care whose trailer porch you sit on to do so. lol... *hiccup* That's a good one... trailer porch!!! LMAO!!
a4a Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Well I think the man woman work debate is over??? Now back to the debate if you are just an evil bitch if your fat lazy husband does not make your panties wet for him........ Perhaps a debate of trailer park BBQing vs. Gated Community BBQing ?
zarathustra Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Well I think the man woman work debate is over??? Now back to the debate if you are just an evil bitch if your fat lazy husband does not make your panties wet for him........ Perhaps a debate of trailer park BBQing vs. Gated Community BBQing ? a4a, you are killin' me here! If the postulate that women who thinks fat lazy H does not make her panties wet = evil bitch, I'll gladly admit to being such a bitch. Luckily, my H is in pretty darn good shape. With regards to BBQing, for me, its only using charcoal that will be a true test of one's BBQing abilities. Anyone can turn on propane/gas powered grills and get an even temp. Only experienced grillers have the know-how as to when a grill is ready using charcoal. At my home, H starts the flame and when he gets to cook, I tell him when the meat can go on as he's not as good at figuring out when the grill is ready.
a4a Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 . Only experienced grillers have the know-how as to when a grill is ready using charcoal. . Are there not more charcoal grills per trailer park than gas grills? Would more wealthy people not consider the use of charcoal to be dirty? Is there not pressure on society to use propane grill as so many cooking shows seem to gear grilling toward the use of propane and not charcoal? ************************************************* ^ the above is complete stupidity. But the statement here is to be taken in a serious manner. How dare you not get sexually excited over your husband!!! Regardless of how he looks, smells, acts, or treats you! It is your duty to make him feel like a man and wanted regardless of your own feelings on the matter!
zarathustra Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Are there not more charcoal grills per trailer park than gas grills? Would more wealthy people not consider the use of charcoal to be dirty? Is there not pressure on society to use propane grill as so many cooking shows seem to gear grilling toward the use of propane and not charcoal? ************************************************* ^ the above is complete stupidity.LMAO!! Depending on what charcoal grill you get, propane grills can be a bit cheaper than coal grills. Propane also lasts much longer than a bag 'o' coals too. Many wealthy people do prefer gas as it looks nicer and has a consisten behaviour... but look at Barefoot Contessa? She gets her man to Q on charcoal and she's pretty well off... heck, I'm sure she's down right rich! Me, its all about flavour and $$ can't buy that nice smokiness from coals... You're killing me!! But the statement here is to be taken in a serious manner. How dare you not get sexually excited over your husband!!! Regardless of how he looks, smells, acts, or treats you! It is your duty to make him feel like a man and wanted regardless of your own feelings on the matter! Again, LMAO!! I love a man who smells like raw sewage. He's the best when he stews in his own filth for a couple of days... you know meat is better after its marinated!
a4a Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 LMAO!! Depending on what charcoal grill you get, propane grills can be a bit cheaper than coal grills. Propane also lasts much longer than a bag 'o' coals too. Many wealthy people do prefer gas as it looks nicer and has a consisten behaviour... but look at Barefoot Contessa? She gets her man to Q on charcoal and she's pretty well off... heck, I'm sure she's down right rich! Me, its all about flavour and $$ can't buy that nice smokiness from coals... You're killing me!! Again, LMAO!! I love a man who smells like raw sewage. He's the best when he stews in his own filth for a couple of days... you know meat is better after its marinated! Perhaps the OP should consider popping open a can of tuna and placing it in her panties for a few hours whilst sunbathing in 98 degree heat...... then request chunky hubby to satisfy her orally? Although this could backfire and he could reach for bread, mayo, and a bag of chips and just think he is sitting down to a snack.........
zarathustra Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Perhaps the OP should consider popping open a can of tuna and placing it in her panties for a few hours whilst sunbathing in 98 degree heat...... then request chunky hubby to satisfy her orally? Although this could backfire and he could reach for bread, mayo, and a bag of chips and just think he is sitting down to a snack......... there's a distinct possibility... he may add cheese and have her sit an extra 15min before digging into the tuna melt!!!
worriedsick Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 I really didn't anticipate this threat to be so friggin' long, and to take so many different turns (especially the discussion of underwear tuna melts)!!! What the hell did I start?
michelangelo Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Z, An example of your extrapolation problem is you presuming I don't know how to use the quote button to produce html quoting on this page. I choose not to use it. So several of you misread what I wrote does not change my intent in what I wrote. But I'm through whipping this horse.
zarathustra Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Actually, I think it's more that the horse is done taking his whipping! :lmao: Sure sounds like it... anyway, I had some thing mean to say to his comment, but why beat a dead horse? I really didn't anticipate this threat to be so friggin' long, and to take so many different turns (especially the discussion of underwear tuna melts)!!! What the hell did I start? I hope you got what you needed from this thread and I do apologize for the TJ. Hopefully underwear tuna melts will help your H appreciate what you are going through Just keep your chin up and know that having standards and preferences doesn't make you bitchy. I believe you when you say you don't speak to your H and refer to him as a lazy fat ass and such and that you try to deal delicately with the subject. That you have taken steps to make sure he eats healthy at home. Figure out what it is that would work well for you in your marriage and try to attain it and if he doesn't make the effort to meet your needs, then you can figure out your next steps. Best of luck!!! I think that its most hurtful when you tell someone what you need over and over again and they keep making excuses as to why not to meet it. You're asking him to get healthier, not telling him to do something that's detrimental to his health.
Zwordz Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Hello... I just ran a google search with the words, husband overweight sex problems and came across this thread.. wow.. I am 33 yrs old and have been married to my wife for 9 yrs, been with her for 12 yrs, and have gained 95lbs (sorry) .. We have 2 children, son 8yr, dghtr 6yr. I am here to basically see what else the world is talking about this topic and feel horrible.. I know I have gained alot of weight, I have tried to lose it before and im at my last straw.. I have a dr appt on jul 3. Im gonna get a full physical bloodwork, and see what can be done to lose this weight. If nothing works Im gonna get the gastric bypass.. I want to stay healthy and fit but its so hard to start. My wife does not have sex with me anymore, i beg and beg and nothing.. I know I am overweight and she has some very long periods, too tired, or has headaches.. I take care of myself.. I have noticed she has lost her weight, (she was never overweight) and looks so attractive to me now, i want to look attractive to her, but im worried now bcuz of what i have been reading.. could she be attracted to someone else?? Since there is no sex and no affection (no hugs kisses etc) I know losing weight is the goal, but the way my wife treats me is cold and i have no one to turn to, thats why im doing this here with all of you.. Im glad i found this site and this thread.. Hopefully i can accomplish my goal and things (intimacy/affection) will be restored. Ill post my progress with the weight and this problem i have, but thanks all for the information.. Im not gonna harass her at all.. Ill lose my weight and see if she is into me or not.. if not then i guess ill have to decide what i want to do.. being married is so much more work than dating.... does it get better?
Guest Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 I dont think you are being harsh, you are being HONEST! My husband has put on a lot of weight, and I hate it! I ask him if he is going to the gym (he paid lots of money for that membership) and I ask him to work out with me. I am sorry, but you need to take care of yourself! If you wanted to be married to a fatty, you would have married one in the first place. Who wants to look up and see this big belly pressing against yours? Not me! He needs to do something about it because I dont like sex with him either. And think of this.....If this were us, damn right the husband would be telling us we were fat, and would probably have an affair! Tell him to stop being lazy, work out, get into shape, stop eating bad things (yes, they do when we are not around). If not, have him get a blood test, he could have a medical problem. Bottom line, I take very good care of myself, an I expect the husband to do the same.
catgirl1927 Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 If you read what the original poster actually wrote, she still loves her husband very much and has no interest in leaving him or in cheating on him. Her issue is more with his attitude than with his weight, he doesn't seem to care how she feels. Have you talked to your wife about your weight loss plans at all? I'm sorry she's not being supportive, I'm really hoping she just isn't aware of your feelings. BTW, men have amazing success with Weight Watchers. You might ask your doctor about it.
zarathustra Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 I agree with catgirl... Weight Watchers have helped many of my friends. Its hard work and requires discipline but you can do it. Do it for yourself. Do it because it means something to you because, I've learned that at the end of the day, you have to do things for yourself rather than doing things for others in order to make yourself happy. Yes, marriage is much harder than dating.
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