Is it normal when your girlfriends is sleeping in hotel with anther woman (her friend)

[Mattew]

Hi, my name is Matthew and I have girlfriend for almost 8 years. We love each other and she is a teacher so her vacations are longer than mine. So she went to the vacation with her friend from school, which is another woman. They went to another state to the hotel, but they booked one room with marriage bed. She sent me a photo of the room, and when I saw it I was shocked. I asked her about that, but she told me she booked this room with this bed because it was cheaper. But when I visited booking.com I saw there is no difference between prices when you got marriage bed or two beds in one room. It looks like she lied to me and it looks like she is cheating on me. What do you think about that? I am very nervous, she makes me upset and I do not think this is normal acting, she never did something like this before.

[BaileyB]

I have slept in the same bed with my friends on numerous vacations because we like to travel together and it is cheaper to share a room. We are planning another trip next spring - we will all be sharing a room. It’s purely platonic. 

I don’t know your girlfriend, just wanted to say that I have done it many, many times. 

Edited August 20, 2023 by BaileyB

[Mattew]

6 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

I have slept in the same bed with my friends on numerous vacations because we like to travel together and it is cheaper to share a room. We are planning another trip next spring - we will all be sharing a room. Purely platonic.

I don’t know your girlfriend, just wanted to say that I have done it many, many times. 

Yeah that is normal sharing a room, but I thought sharing a marriage bed, that is what I mean.

[BaileyB]

10 minutes ago, Mattew said:

Yeah that is normal sharing a room, but I thought sharing a marriage bed, that is what I mean.

Some hotels have a queen bed. Some have a king bed. Some have two queens. Costs will vary as will availability. 

I’ve certainly slept in a queen bed with a friend when I’ve had to - if that’s what you mean by a “marriage bed.” I prefer a king bed or two queens, but sometimes you don’t have a choice. 

The last time I travelled with friends, we stayed in a very expensive hotel and slept four women in a room, two queen beds. None of our husbands questioned it. 

Again, I don’t know your wife. I’m just saying, women do this sometimes to save money when they travel together.

 

Edited August 20, 2023 by BaileyB

[Alpacalia]

What is a marriage bed? I have not heard that term. Is it akin to a double or full size bed?

[Mattew]

2 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

What is a marriage bed? I have not heard that term. Is it akin to a double or full size bed?

It is double bed for couples. In my country it is called marriage bed.

[glows]

I think this is very common between close female friends, OP. I too have done this in early years. Too old for that sh-t now and strong instinct to kick anyone out of the way while I sleep. How old is your girlfriend and her friend? 

I am curious why jump to the conclusion she’s cheating? Have there been signs where she’s indicated she is bisexual or even interested in other women?

[Alpacalia]

I find this puzzling. Is there any situation where it would be okay for her to be in close proximity with this friend? Is there any level of comfort they can achieve where she won't be in danger of exhibiting inappropriate behavior? Does it mean that she cannot go with her to a dark movie theater with her because then they might be able to get too close to each other?

I'm confused that you would draw such a major inference from something that is often seen among females.

The issue is you're concerned because she said it was cheaper, but when you checked the prices online there seemed to be no difference. Which brings me to my next point, why did you check the prices online alone? Why not speak to your partner about this? What else is making you suspicious?

 

[Mattew]

39 minutes ago, glows said:

I think this is very common between close female friends, OP. I too have done this in early years. Too old for that sh-t now and strong instinct to kick anyone out of the way while I sleep. How old is your girlfriend and her friend? 

I am curious why jump to the conclusion she’s cheating? Have there been signs where she’s indicated she is bisexual or even interested in other women?

She is 30, me too.

No there were not, but she never did it before, that is why I am concerned about it.

[Mattew]

27 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

I find this puzzling. Is there any situation where it would be okay for her to be in close proximity with this friend? Is there any level of comfort they can achieve where she won't be in danger of exhibiting inappropriate behavior? Does it mean that she cannot go with her to a dark movie theater with her because then they might be able to get too close to each other?

I'm confused that you would draw such a major inference from something that is often seen among females.

The issue is you're concerned because she said it was cheaper, but when you checked the prices online there seemed to be no difference. Which brings me to my next point, why did you check the prices online alone? Why not speak to your partner about this? What else is making you suspicious?

 

Of course not, she can go where ever she wants with her friends, but I find it weird sleeping in same bed in hotel with friend.

She is not answering to my messages... So that is why I checked it online. And that is also suspicious.

[Alpacalia]

8 minutes ago, Mattew said:

Of course not, she can go where ever she wants with her friends, but I find it weird sleeping in same bed in hotel with friend.

She is not answering to my messages... So that is why I checked it online. And that is also suspicious.

Do you think she's traveling with a man instead? What else could be the cause of her strange behavior? It's very difficult to say for sure what is going on. It could just be a misunderstanding or she could be hiding something from you. It is not unusal for two females to share a room with a single bed. It may just be more cost effective. But the issue is if she lied about it, and that raises suspicion.

Edited August 20, 2023 by Alpacalia

[Will am I]

Question 1: is there a real reason to assume that your partner is getting romantic with the other woman?

The plain fact of two women sharing a hotel room and it happens to have a big bed, doesn’t ring an alarm with me.

 

Question 2: what if your partner does have romantic feelings for a female friend, how would you take that? 

Some men might feel betrayed, cheated and have a real hard time getting over it. Not all men feel that way. I would be reasonably ok with the idea of my wife with another woman. If a woman has bisexual feelings, would that be a threat to you, would a woman represent “competition”? I think that it varies a great deal how people see this.

[Mattew]

35 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Do you think she's traveling with a man instead? What else could be the cause of her strange behavior? It's very difficult to say for sure what is going on. It could just be a misunderstanding or she could be hiding something from you. It is not unusal for two females to share a room with a single bed. It may just be more cost effective. But the issue is if she lied about it, and that raises suspicion.

I do not know what to think, I am so confused by this. But I doubt she went there with a man. I was wondering I could not be sleeping with my male friend in same bed, it would be so humiliating and I would be ashamed. Maybe we have just different feelings about this, I do not know. But how would be she able to tell her kid why she was sleeping in same bed with another woman and not with his father? I am confused and since she is not answering to my messages it is just getting weirder.

Edited August 20, 2023 by Mattew

[Mattew]

32 minutes ago, Will am I said:

Question 1: is there a real reason to assume that your partner is getting romantic with the other woman?

The plain fact of two women sharing a hotel room and it happens to have a big bed, doesn’t ring an alarm with me.

 

Question 2: what if your partner does have romantic feelings for a female friend, how would you take that? 

Some men might feel betrayed, cheated and have a real hard time getting over it. Not all men feel that way. I would be reasonably ok with the idea of my wife with another woman. If a woman has bisexual feelings, would that be a threat to you, would a woman represent “competition”? I think that it varies a great deal how people see this.

Answer 1:

But there is always a choice to have two beds in the room, so it is weird.

Answer 2:

Cheating is still cheating no matter the sex or gender.

[Will am I]

1: until the hotel’s planning makes a mistake or the reservation is entered wrong or they run out of rooms. 

2: it’s a matter of personal perspective. 

[Mattew]

7 minutes ago, Will am I said:

1: until the hotel’s planning makes a mistake or the reservation is entered wrong or they run out of rooms. 

2: it’s a matter of personal perspective. 

1. That would be something she wrote me at first, but she did not.

2. It is not when your partner truly loves you.

 

[BaileyB]

1 hour ago, Mattew said:

She is not answering to my messages... So that is why I checked it online. And that is also suspicious.

Maybe she is frustrated by the lack of trust.  

Is it culturally inappropriate where you live for two women to travel together and stay together in a hotel room? Because in the west, it would not really be considered an unusual things to do. 

[SlimShadysWife]

Pretty sketchy. Why does a grown *** person need to share a bed with a another grown person if theres an option not to. and lie about the prices of the bed. I agree with you, weird.

Edited August 20, 2023 by SlimShadysWife

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, Mattew said:

 She sent me a photo of the room, and when I saw it I was shocked. I asked her about that, but she told me she booked this room with this bed because it was cheaper. 

Why would she send pictures of the room if there were something to hide? When did you last communicate?

Perhaps she's upset at your accusation? Did you accuse her of cheating because the hotel has various room, beds and pricing options?

Sometimes one queen/king sized bed (what you call marital bed) is cheaper than 2 single or double beds.

Is there anything else going on in your relationship that makes you suspicious? 

[BaileyB]

41 minutes ago, Mattew said:

I could not be sleeping with my male friend in same bed, it would be so humiliating and I would be ashamed.

Agree, there is a bit of a double standard. It would be more unusual if men slept together in the same bed. That said, my brother has gone on many “golf holidays” with his friends, he has travelled to watch sporting events with his friends - I have never asked about the hotel arrangements… I doubt they get separate rooms, but I imagine that they get two double beds or a king size bed. 

[BaileyB]

48 minutes ago, Mattew said:

But how would be she able to tell her kid why she was sleeping in same bed with another woman and not with his father?

Again, I’ve travelled with friends and slept in the same bed when that was the accommodation. We are all married with children. I personally would be upset with my husband if he assumed that we were having sex during these trips. That shows a lack of trust, in my humble opinion.

I’ve travelled for pleasure and stayed with friends. I travelled for conferences and stayed in the same room as another coworker. I recently travelled for the volunteer work that I do - I stayed with another woman from another city that I had never met before in a hotel room, just the two of us. We were both married and she had young children. 

Women travel together and stay in the same room to save money - it is very common in the west. 

Edited August 20, 2023 by BaileyB

[SlimShadysWife]

Have you asked her why she lied about the prices of the beds?

[Wiseman2]

48 minutes ago, Mattew said:

But there is always a choice to have two beds in the room, so it is weird..

If someone wants to save money they get the least expensive available type of room. If someone wants to cheat they can do it with two beds in the room. 

[BaileyB]

It obviously bothers you, so my advice would be to let her enjoy her holiday. When she returns home, that’s when you can discuss your concerns and tell how how you are feeling. I don’t know about your culture, but where I live it is quite common for women to travel and stay together in a hotel room. It does not have to be “sexual” if/when women stay together in a hotel room. Just want you to know that, if it calms your anxiety in any way. I hope you are able to work it out.

Edited August 20, 2023 by BaileyB

[Els]

How much have you traveled before...? Bed type and sometimes even room configuration is a "request", that the hotel will "do their best to fulfill", but what that basically means is that if all the rooms with twin beds are taken when you check in, tough luck, you get the double. And vice versa. H and I have ended up sleeping on separate beds on quite a few occasions due to this...

Besides that, honestly I don't think that 99% of people will even blink at the thought of their spouse sharing a double bed with a person of the same gender.

Quote

But when I visited booking.com I saw there is no difference between prices when you got marriage bed or two beds in one room.

Prices fluctuate by the day. Also, refer to the above - most hotels don't actually segregate rooms by bed type. It's just an additional option that third-party sites try to offer, but what usually happens in the hotel is that bed type is listed as a "preference".

Quote

But how would be she able to tell her kid why she was sleeping in same bed with another woman and not with his father?

My dude, you realize that same-sex changing rooms exist?? That women see each other naked???

Edited August 20, 2023 by Els