Outcast Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Went out with my girlfriend last night for coffee and she's been encouraging me to call him and ask him to meet us out one night soon for a coffee and chat. She's a fool and you'll be a fool if you do it. Do you want him to get a restraining order? Call the police? Do you want him to spit in your face? What will it take before you finally get it? He doesn't want to see you. If your friend was right, he would have made EVERY EFFORT TO CONTACT YOU. He has not. C'mon, Mandy! Start thinking for yourself!!!!! This is no grand romance, it's a pitiful tale of a girl soo badly in need of male attention she'll throw away any bit of dignity she still has. Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 She's a fool and you'll be a fool if you do it. Do you want him to get a restraining order? Call the police? Do you want him to spit in your face? What will it take before you finally get it? He doesn't want to see you. If your friend was right, he would have made EVERY EFFORT TO CONTACT YOU. He has not. C'mon, Mandy! Start thinking for yourself!!!!! This is no grand romance, it's a pitiful tale of a girl soo badly in need of male attention she'll throw away any bit of dignity she still has. if i said things like "amen" this is where i would say it. so rock the eff on, outcast. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 right now i am so confused and my thoughts are everywhere, i am not going to do anything until i can at least start trying to think properly. But i can tell u the temptation to call and ask him for coffee is there soooooo bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Do it. Do it now. The only way you're going to wise up is when he tells you to buzz off directly. He's trying to at least send a message without kicking you right in the gut but you refuse to pay attention. So go get that phone and call him. The sooner you hear him tell you to get lost and leave him alone, the better it will be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 ok.....give me a few mins. I am going to call him to get this out of my system. Will let you know the response shortly. I am sooo nervous. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Do yourself this favour. Everytime you get that urge, grab a pen and paper and start writing. TO him. But, the catch is ... This exercise is for your eyes only, not his. This is a way for you to vent, get pissed at him and get out ALL your emotions. Then burn what you wrote. Again, DO NOT send these thoughts to him...This is therapy for you to heal and get out what you feel inside. Your situation with him hasn't been going on too long, but you're SO emotionally attached to him. Just imagine how you'd be feeling if you two HAD slept together. Be glad that it isn't go that far Mandy because if it had, you'd be more of a mess than you're feeling now. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 ok.....give me a few mins. I am going to call him to get this out of my system. Will let you know the response shortly. I am sooo nervous. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... Obviously you're gonna do what you want. Good luck Mandy, you're setting yourself up for a HORRIBLE outcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 WWIU, I don't totally disagree with this. I mean at first I was saying to myself WHAT? She's really going to do it? But look, it's the only way for her. Some people would have gotten the message clearly by now. Mandy hasn't. If losing her dignity, even more than she already has, is what it's going to take then so be it. But the problem I fear is that even after she gets his cold response, she's going to stil question WHY. There will be no "closure" for you on this one Manday. Next, you're going to wonder why he's rejecting you. You'll tell yourself he was just cold because his wife was there or something. It's never going to be right for you unless you get the response you want. So I don't agree that it's the silence that's driving you crazy. It's the fact that you're not getting what you want that is driving you crazy. Well, go ahead and call. This is going to just get worse! Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 Just called him but he isnt answering. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 What a surprise! Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 i'll try him later Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 I'm quite sure you will...but don't be surprised if he never answers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 OMG - Just called again and he answered, i went all numb when i heard his voice and i said "Hi, it's Me" and he said "Hey you, i was wondering when you were going to call" I said "Just wanted to say Happy New Year and wanted to see if u want to catch up with me and my friend for a coffee sometime" and he said "sure, when?" I told him i would arrange with my friend and he said "cool, arrange it and let me know where and when - sorry havent been in contact, been rushed with xmas/new year etc - look forward to seeing you..... Now what?? I am really confused....he was really polite to me:confused: Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Now what?? I am really confused....he was really polite to me:confused: Now what? Get used to this sort of treatment. Its all on his terms, and you are there entirely for his convenience. He'll be polite when its convenient for him, and blow you off when its not. Put your needs last, and lower your expectations to zero. That should work well for him, and keep him around until the next OW catches his eye. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Now what?? I am really confused....he was really polite to me:confused: 2 things one.. why did you have to talk to your friend to figure out when to meet with him.. and the other is why are you questioning yourself.. you wanted to talk with him.. you did.. you wanted to meet him.. he said okay.. WTF ?? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 You know, I'm surprised he even answered. I really am. But LB is EXACTLY on target with what she said. He'll answer you at HIS convenience. Did he ever even acknowledge the gifts? How about your texts? Was he just busy every second of every day that he couldn't do that? So when's this exciting coffee meeting? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Call him again. In fact, call him ten times tonight to prove your love for him. It's the only way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 outcast - i am not in love with him and i have no need to call him 10 times, i wanted to call him to ask for coffee, i did, he responded in a nice way, i am going to arrange it and call him back later to let him know where we will meet and what day/time Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Sorry to say this but I think now he's having some fun with you and playing a game. I guess time will tell and going out to coffee we'll see what the outcome is. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 And think ahead now. What will happen after the coffee date? You'll be on here wondering when you're going to see him next because the coffee date went so well and he was so nice. I predict you're going to be right back on here saying how you just don't understand why you haven't heard from him after that nice coffee date. Do you really want this roller coaster ride? And no offense, but I STILL question if this is REALLY for real! I swear I just still don't quite know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 I am just going to take it one step at a time and see where it goes from here. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 "Hey you, i was wondering when you were going to call" ...Again. That is what he was thinking but didn't say it outloud. I think he's messing with your head Mandy. So don't fall for his bulls***, END it with him. DO NOT allow him to sweet talk you into "oh sorry, I was busy and that is why I didn't say Merry Xmas to you, thank you for the present and wish you a Happy New Year..." Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 i felt so weak talking to him, i just wanted to melt:( Link to post Share on other sites
seachange Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 outcast - i am not in love with him and i have no need to call him 10 times, i wanted to call him to ask for coffee, i did, he responded in a nice way, i am going to arrange it and call him back later to let him know where we will meet and what day/time No. Of course you aren't in love with him. You barely know him, and what you do know is mostly not so good. What you are is addicted to the drama. And your friend is, too. I wonder if this is the same friend who was egging you on back at the beginning? Sounds like you guys are just feeding into each other's need for this kind of rollercoaster feeling. It's a fantasy, and you're addicted to it, and the man himself is pretty much incidental, I'd guess. It's all about the drama. Well, I suggest you buckle up, mandy, because it's going to be a bumpy ride. If drama's what you want, drama you will get. That's the one thing you will get out of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 seachange, yes its the same friend that has been pushing me to him from the start Link to post Share on other sites
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