stillafool Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 1 hour ago, Sugarkane2 said: Obviously the job wasn’t permanent and I ended up needing to find work again. Well the good news is there are plenty of full time jobs out there now. You can work 2-3 jobs if you want them. No one has to help you get one, just apply on your own. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 1 hour ago, Sugarkane2 said: So should I do the same thing if my parents need help- make promises and go back on my word, then go on massive holidays? Depends on the promise. As far as the massive holiday goes it they are paying for it they can do whatever they want. This is why people work and make their OWN money so they can spend it on themselves anyway they want. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 1 hour ago, Sugarkane2 said: No I wasn’t homeless Then why did you lose your children? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 9 minutes ago, stillafool said: Depends on the promise. As far as the massive holiday goes it they are paying for it they can do whatever they want. This is why people work and make their OWN money so they can spend it on themselves anyway they want. They didn’t pay for it. They inherited money. My extended family went except my siblings and I. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 1 hour ago, Sugarkane2 said: They didn’t pay for it. They inherited money. My extended family went except my siblings and I. They inherited the money. They were under no obligation to share it with you. If you were not named as a beneficiary, you are not entitled to any money. As they were the beneficiaries, they can chose to spend it however and on whomever they wish… 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 1 hour ago, stillafool said: Then why did you lose your children? Because they were controlling and had taken over and because of our money problems and my PND. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 7 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said: Obviously the job wasn’t permanent and I ended up needing to find work again. Finding your first job is the hardest. If you have the tools to find the first job and leave with good references, you will have the tools and recommendations to find a second job. You should not have needed any help at all. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 4 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said: Because they were controlling and had taken over and because of our money problems and my PND. Plenty of families who are on unemployment benefits have custody. Even parents who are couch surfing because they have no fixed address don't lose their kids, so it wasn't due to money problems. PND won't make you lose custody unless your actions are putting your child at risk. And nobody's controlling behaviour will make you lose your kids. Child services do everything they can to keep families together. They don't go tearing kids away from their parents without trying to address the problems, unless they have witnessed that the children are at immediate risk. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 5 minutes ago, basil67 said: Plenty of families who are on unemployment benefits have custody. Even parents who are couch surfing because they have no fixed address don't lose their kids, so it wasn't due to money problems. PND won't make you lose custody unless your actions are putting your child at risk. And nobody's controlling behaviour will make you lose your kids. Child services do everything they can to keep families together. They don't go tearing kids away from their parents without trying to address the problems, unless they have witnessed that the children are at immediate risk. Well child services weren’t involved with my daughter Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 12 minutes ago, basil67 said: Finding your first job is the hardest. If you have the tools to find the first job and leave with good references, you will have the tools and recommendations to find a second job. You should not have needed any help at all. In hindsight things are a usually clearer. I had no confidence at the time Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 54 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said: Well child services weren’t involved with my daughter They were involved with your son. And I can see no reason why your daughter would have been taken away by court order if there was not evidence of ongoing risk. And if there was no risk to them, you would have brought witnesses to speak to your parenting skills when you went to court 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 (edited) 55 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said: In hindsight things are a usually clearer. I had no confidence at the time Sugarkane2, all these excuses are what is holding you back. The sooner you take responsibility for yourself and what's happened to you, the sooner you can get your kids back. Edited October 12, 2021 by basil67 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 14 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said: They didn’t pay for it. They inherited money. My extended family went except my siblings and I. If they inherited the money it is still THEIR money and they can do what they want to with it. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 8 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said: In hindsight things are a usually clearer. I had no confidence at the time You don't need confidence to get a job nor to get to work. Especially these days. Companies and businesses are desperate for workers. Start applying. What is the real reason your kids were taken away? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 12 hours ago, stillafool said: You don't need confidence to get a job nor to get to work. Especially these days. Companies and businesses are desperate for workers. Start applying. What is the real reason your kids were taken away? I’ve read the court report many times and I don’t understand it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 12 hours ago, stillafool said: If they inherited the money it is still THEIR money and they can do what they want to with it. Still rude to promise help and then do that. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 (edited) 37 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said: Still rude to promise help and then do that. I 've always suspected that the offer was contingent on some type of progress from your end. Or something happened after he made the offer which caused him to rescind it. Much like how I might offer my daughter money towards a car if she can show that she saved a substantial amount herself. Or making a payment towards university debt if she achieved her degree and has started working as a professional. Edited October 13, 2021 by basil67 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 Just now, basil67 said: I 've always suspected that the offer was contingent on some type of progress from your end. Much like how I might offer my daughter money towards a car if she can show that she saved a substantial amount herself. Or making a payment towards university debt if she achieved her degree and has started working as a professional. There wasn’t Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 OK, then something happened which made him feel that giving you the money was no longer a wise choice. Whatever caused you to lose custody of your children would likely have something to do with it. For instance, I certainly wouldn't be gifting money to a child who was unemployed or making bad life choices. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 18 minutes ago, basil67 said: OK, then something happened which made him feel that giving you the money was no longer a wise choice. Whatever caused you to lose custody of your children would likely have something to do with it. For instance, I certainly wouldn't be gifting money to a child who was unemployed or making bad life choices. Well if that’s the case why not just give an explanation instead of gaslighting me and calling me a liar? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 I can't speak as to what happened. But you've been complaining about this for years...and all the complaining in the world isn't going to fix it. How about you focus on the future rather than the past? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 13 minutes ago, basil67 said: I can't speak as to what happened. But you've been complaining about this for years...and all the complaining in the world isn't going to fix it. How about you focus on the future rather than the past? I want to be able to tell him to expect empty promises when he needs help. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 And what good will that do when it sounds like the courts are needing to meet your parents with respect to custody? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 14 minutes ago, basil67 said: And what good will that do when it sounds like the courts are needing to meet your parents with respect to custody? Dammit Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 Maybe your father is going to have to use whatever money you were expecting towards taking care of your kids and that is why he isn't going to sell the car. You never said why you lost custody of your children. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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