basil67 Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 1 minute ago, Sugarkane2 said: Then why didn’t he just help me find work? I couldn’t get work and was struggling and didn’t have any confidence. I really needed help but didn’t know where to find it. Did you ask him for advice on how to find a job? If so, what advice did he give? Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 20 minutes ago, basil67 said: Did you ask him for advice on how to find a job? If so, what advice did he give? He didn’t give me any advice. I didn’t get work. And lost custody Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 1 hour ago, Sugarkane2 said: Then why didn’t he just help me find work? I couldn’t get work and was struggling and didn’t have any confidence. I really needed help but didn’t know where to find it. How can he help you with finding a job? He has lots of connections or knows the right people who would give you a job? Even with the connections, you would need to do the actual work, not just to sit pretty and do nothing all day. Are you truly honestly want to find a job? A job, any job. Are you willing to work, no matter how hard the job is? No matter what the hours are like? If so, why don't you check out you local listings on the internet. I just checked my local listings for the jobs that require no or very little education to see what it's like out there. I don't know where you live but in my area, are plenty of jobs. There are like 10 or more listings of MacDonald's hiring people. Why don't you actually apply to the fast food places? They are always hiring. There are some cleaning jobs. There are entry level office jobs that require a little knowledge of the computers. Plenty of courier and delivery jobs. Some grocery clerk and cashier jobs. I heard few month ago on TV that the restaurants are short of staff due to Covid and are desperately seeking workers. Sure, these jobs don't pay much but there are jobs. You don't need to go through any agencies to get them. You can just walk in and apply. A job is a job and if you are desperate enough, you would grab just about anything. Better than be unemployed. Well, actually you would grab anything if you need money to buy food. Or to get your child back. I am guessing you are not desperate enough to grab these jobs. Maybe you are too picky and are waiting for a good job just to fall into your lap. Easier to sit and do nothing and blame your father for screwing up your life I suppose. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 1 hour ago, Sugarkane2 said: He didn’t give me any advice. I didn’t get work. And lost custody Did you ask for advice? What efforts did you make to look for work? Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 25 minutes ago, Alvi said: How can he help you with finding a job? He has lots of connections or knows the right people who would give you a job? Even with the connections, you would need to do the actual work, not just to sit pretty and do nothing all day. Are you truly honestly want to find a job? A job, any job. Are you willing to work, no matter how hard the job is? No matter what the hours are like? If so, why don't you check out you local listings on the internet. I just checked my local listings for the jobs that require no or very little education to see what it's like out there. I don't know where you live but in my area, are plenty of jobs. There are like 10 or more listings of MacDonald's hiring people. Why don't you actually apply to the fast food places? They are always hiring. There are some cleaning jobs. There are entry level office jobs that require a little knowledge of the computers. Plenty of courier and delivery jobs. Some grocery clerk and cashier jobs. I heard few month ago on TV that the restaurants are short of staff due to Covid and are desperately seeking workers. Sure, these jobs don't pay much but there are jobs. You don't need to go through any agencies to get them. You can just walk in and apply. A job is a job and if you are desperate enough, you would grab just about anything. Better than be unemployed. Well, actually you would grab anything if you need money to buy food. Or to get your child back. I am guessing you are not desperate enough to grab these jobs. Maybe you are too picky and are waiting for a good job just to fall into your lap. Easier to sit and do nothing and blame your father for screwing up your life I suppose. Not at all. We got a cleaning business after all this happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 25 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said: Not at all. We got a cleaning business after all this happened. Even if your parents have a business, they don't want you to work for them for whatever reason. So that means that you have to find another job. And a good news is that there are plenty of other jobs around. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 2 minutes ago, Alvi said: Even if your parents have a business, they don't want you to work for them for whatever reason. So that means that you have to find another job. And a good news is that there are plenty of other jobs around. It’s not my parents business at all. It’s my husbands and I. Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 Then you do have a job? I am confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 23 minutes ago, Alvi said: Then you do have a job? I am confused. I do now, but not when all of this happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 I am very confused. First you say that you don't have a job and you blame your father for that. Then you say that you do have a business. But you still blame your father for not selling his car and not helping you with the job finding? Maybe he wasn't there for you when you needed his support but it sounds like you are doing fine without his help. Now you need to get your child back, but since you have a business of your own, that would probably make it easier. Att least I would think so. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 3 hours ago, Alvi said: I am very confused. First you say that you don't have a job and you blame your father for that. Then you say that you do have a business. But you still blame your father for not selling his car and not helping you with the job finding? Maybe he wasn't there for you when you needed his support but it sounds like you are doing fine without his help. Now you need to get your child back, but since you have a business of your own, that would probably make it easier. Att least I would think so. I still lost custody because I couldn’t find work. I don’t think it’s ok to make huge promises and then gaslight people. Then enjoy massive holidays and brag about it. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 In your previous thread, you told us that you lost custody because of PND Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 Unfortunately you seem stuck on the idea that your father should give you some money, but have you gone to social services for help? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 15 minutes ago, basil67 said: In your previous thread, you told us that you lost custody because of PND Sorry, I neglected to add a link Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 11 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said: Then why didn’t he just help me find work? I couldn’t get work and was struggling and didn’t have any confidence. I really needed help but didn’t know where to find it. I looked back at your first thread here, ten years ago. You were 23 and had a job, a car and money. This doesn't tally with your recent story. Where is the truth? Were you working and independent at 23 or were you unable to find work because you were never supported by your father? And why were you asking CPS for help getting resources when you own your own business with your husband (as stated in this thread)? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 13 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said: CPS isn’t involved with my first child. It went straight to court. Does not matter. You do not/have not had custody of your child. That is a HUGE red flag that something is really wrong here - with your family, with your finances, with your decision making… Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 5 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said: I don’t think it’s ok to make huge promises and then gaslight people. Then enjoy massive holidays and brag about it. If you are an adult, financially independent and married with your own family, what your parents do is none of your business. They are not beholden to you in any way and the fact that you fail to understand this is very concerning. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 8 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said: I still lost custody because I couldn’t find work. Parents don't lose children because they become unemployed. Were you living on the street? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 I advocate for children in foster care. I also help biological parents find the resources they need to be successful when they don't feel they are getting the results they need from CPS. There are many organizations out there like mine. I'm sure there is one in your area that works closely with CPS to help biological parents be successful. If I were you, I would stop obsessing over how you think your father betrayed you (he owes you nothing) and start working on becoming independent and not expecting someone else to solve all your problems. Have you gone to counseling? Maybe it would help you to connect with a life coach, or a therapist who will help you work to become independent and successful on your own abilities. If you don't start taking responsibility for yourself AND for your children, you've got a long unhappy life ahead of you. Whatever it is that CPS wants with your father (to meet him, or to evaluate him for guardianship of your children), it would behoove you to mend fences with him and stop blaming him for your perceived failures. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 19 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said: CPS isn’t involved with my first child. It went straight to court. That's completely besides the point.... Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 20 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said: Then why didn’t he just help me find work? I couldn’t get work and was struggling and didn’t have any confidence. I really needed help but didn’t know where to find it. I think employment agencies, unemployment offices, online recruitment agencies are the best sources for seeking a job. Does you father work at one of these? If so he could help you otherwise contact them on your own to find a job. I never expected my parents to help me find a job. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 (edited) 51 minutes ago, stillafool said: I think employment agencies, unemployment offices, online recruitment agencies are the best sources for seeking a job. Does you father work at one of these? If so he could help you otherwise contact them on your own to find a job. I never expected my parents to help me find a job. In OP's very first post on the forums, she had a job and a car. I'm not sure why there's all this talk about father not helping her to find work when apparently she already had the tools to do so. Edited October 11, 2021 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 1 hour ago, basil67 said: In OP's very first post on the forums, she had a job and a car. I'm not sure why there's all this talk about father not helping her to find work when apparently she already had the tools to do so. Obviously the job wasn’t permanent and I ended up needing to find work again. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 6 hours ago, stillafool said: Parents don't lose children because they become unemployed. Were you living on the street? No I wasn’t homeless Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 8 hours ago, BaileyB said: If you are an adult, financially independent and married with your own family, what your parents do is none of your business. They are not beholden to you in any way and the fact that you fail to understand this is very concerning. So should I do the same thing if my parents need help- make promises and go back on my word, then go on massive holidays? Link to post Share on other sites
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