Gaeta Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 So I had this first meeting last Thursday that ended up being a great date of 4 hours. I usually keep my first meetings short and don't get swept away easily, I was surprised myself I could experience this instant connection again. So after our date he asked me to text him when I got home, I did. He replied he was home and still on cloud 9. From there he initiates communications every day and always added a little something about our first date. Example last night he knew I had a family get together, he text me this morning asking how it was, I asked about his Saturday and he said he spent the evening dreaming of our date together..................................but no talk about when we could see each other again? He did the pursuing, made the invite for the first date, we were not suppose to eat but he lead us to a terrace and paid for everything with no hesitation. In the evening he offered to get me a bottle of water, coffee, he moved me in the inner side of the sidewalk, he got me in the metro before leaving with his car. I got treated like a lady! From beginning to end! Do I sit on my hands? or Initiate a talk about a second date? 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 (edited) Okay, I know you're on a cloud and I don't want to bring you down so please keep in mind that this is just my experience. It sounds like love-bombing. No guy really says he's dreaming of a date. 😁 (cue 20 LS people jumping on to say "I do!" 😁 ) He sounds like a guy who's in love with falling in love. My personal feeling is you WILL hear from this guy again (that's just my hunch), but be careful of falling for deep, fast intensity that isn't really being followed through. Some of that instant connection feeling may be from him being intensely focused on you and trying hard to follow your lead on the date while trying to remain subtle about it. Go out with him again if you both want it, but guard your 💗 Should you contact him...should you ask for the date...you can. But if he's lying around sighing and dreaming of being with you why didn't he ask? It sure isn't because he's shy. I mean I know that's what's bugging you as it is. Guard your heart. Try to slow things down if you can. See what he's really made of, not how he can do everything right on a first date. I feel you, I get it. I really do. 💗 Edited June 27, 2021 by CaliforniaGirl 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 (edited) Ya lol, he has ways with words, comes across as a romantic dreamer, it's the prince charming image that was sold to us women. In an hour I'm heading on a 2nd date with someone else. He has a more grounded personality. Less charming but maybe more reliable. Edited June 27, 2021 by Gaeta 4 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: So after our date he asked me to text him when I got home, I did. He replied he was home and still on cloud 9. ... last night he knew I had a family get together, he text me this morning asking how it was, I asked about his Saturday and he said he spent the evening dreaming of our date together..................................but no talk about when we could see each other again? Bolded, Gaeta take these comments with a grain of salt. You've said this yourself but words are cheap when not followed up with action. If me, any connection we had during the meet/date would have gone down the drain after these comments. They're too over the top, sound disingenuous and akin to love bombing with no follow through. I say no do not initiate. In fact the smart thing would be to next him, he sounds fantasy-driven. But good luck whatever you decide to do. Keep us posted! Edited June 27, 2021 by poppyfields 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 1 minute ago, Gaeta said: Ya lol, he has ways with words, comes across as a romantic dreamer, it's the prince charming image that was sold to us women. In an hour I'm heading on a 2nd date with someone else. He has a more grounded presonality. Less charming but maybe more reliable. Ooo! Gaeta! You're crushing it, LOL! Wait and see what this date brings. There could be sparks for all you know. Good that you're keeping options open. I hope you have a great time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Ya lol, he has ways with words, comes across as a romantic dreamer but it's the prince charming image that was sold to us women. Gaeta, forget the Disney fairly tale, it's a load of ****, not real, you know that! Have fun on your second with other guy! Edited June 27, 2021 by poppyfields 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 1 minute ago, CaliforniaGirl said: There could be sparks for all you know. Good that you're keeping options open. I hope you have a great time. That would be cool. After our 1st meeting he called me from his car and asked to see me again. He left no space for doubts, l said yes but did not feel anything special. But...means nothing 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 I knew l could count on LS to bring me down from my cloud lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 Just now, Gaeta said: That would be cool. After our 1st meeting he called me from his car and asked to see me again. He left no space for doubts, l said yes but did not feel anything special. But...means nothing Maybe what you need is someone between these two extremes. But you're exploring all possibilities. You're going to find that guy. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 Just now, Gaeta said: I knew l could count on LS to bring me down from my cloud lol In a positive way 😁 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 Just now, Gaeta said: I knew l could count on LS to bring me down from my cloud lol 👍 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 Just now, Gaeta said: I knew l could count on LS to bring me down from my cloud lol I'm really sorry, Gaeta....really, you still don't know...if you guys go out again, just subtly try to slow things down a hair. Get to know him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 (edited) 21 minutes ago, Gaeta said: That would be cool. After our 1st meeting he called me from his car and asked to see me again. He left no space for doubts, l said yes but did not feel anything special. But...means nothing I get it, the uncertainty pulls us in. It gets us wondering and that fosters attraction. To me, that's good, I embrace uncertainty! But the first guy? He's off in fantasy land, on Cloud 9, dreaming of you? It's bad enough he feels these things after one meet but to tell you? But not follow through with second meet? Something is off there Gaeta. Play it out if you like but do not take seriously. Observe his actions. Words are meaningless unless backed up with action, and toss Disney into the garbage! Lol 😂 Edited June 27, 2021 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: So I had this first meeting last Thursday.... Quick question... Do you mean 3 days ago or do you mean 10 days ago?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 4 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: Quick question... Do you mean 3 days ago or do you mean 10 days ago?? Last Thursday 3-4 days ago Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 (edited) 15 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Last Thursday 3-4 days ago Oh. I mean come on…I’d be either ignoring his chatter at this point or just letting more time go between answering him, and then answering sort of ha ha/neutral/nothing special. Fading things out. ETA: I read this wrong! I was thinking 10 days 😂 * Edited June 27, 2021 by CaliforniaGirl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 7 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Last Thursday 3-4 days ago Well its only Sunday afternoon, so its only been 3 days and he has communicated with you since the date. In general, when I'm dating someone new, I don't monopolize their time and push the issue of multiple dates - right away. I try to schedule one date/week in the beginning and then two/week after date number 3-4. I think his time frame is respectful and normal. Let him plan the next date and ask you out next week. Everything is fine, just let it progress naturally. All will be fine. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
babybrowns Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 Sounds quite a lot like lovebombing, did you detect any signs that this guy could possibly be a narcissist? They hook their victims in like this at the start and then use them for attention, never materialising anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 (edited) He had no problem arranging the first date. And a nice date at that according to you. So if he is truly honestly interested, then he would not have any troubles arranging another date. Don't eliminate him from the running just yet, wait and see if he is all words but no action or if he actually follows through. I would suggest that you don't contact him first. Wait and see... Edited June 27, 2021 by Alvi 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 12 minutes ago, babybrowns said: Sounds quite a lot like lovebombing, did you detect any signs that this guy could possibly be a narcissist? Hard to say. Could be. Or he could be just overly enthusiastic. After couple of dates (if he arranges another date that is) the picture is going to get clearer. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 (edited) 41 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: Well its only Sunday afternoon, so its only been 3 days and he has communicated with you since the date. In general, when I'm dating someone new, I don't monopolize their time and push the issue of multiple dates - right away. I try to schedule one date/week in the beginning and then two/week after date number 3-4. I think his time frame is respectful and normal. Let him plan the next date and ask you out next week. Everything is fine, just let it progress naturally. All will be fine. I would agree if not for the 'lovebombing,' sounds like HE has bought into the Disney Prince Charming fantasy himself! Just be careful to not get caught up in that fantasy G, stay grounded, keep it real. Romance is fun, but give it time to build. On cloud 9, dreaming of you = too much after only one meet. Men who come on strong and fast like that (with words), can turn off just as fast. JMO. Edited June 27, 2021 by poppyfields 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 Yeah, he should have locked in a second date almost immediately ... that he hasn't done that is a red flag. So I would say keep your distance. Something is off. I used to do this when I was you I would go have a great time and not follow up, and looking back, I was immature, indecisive, not really into getting serious. I was much better at a first date than at a second or third. Bottom line is, he can't follow up, that's a red flag. But you could initiate with him as long as you keep an internal boundary: you are only giving him another chance to step up. Honestly, I say leave him alone: something is up with him. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted June 28, 2021 Share Posted June 28, 2021 4 hours ago, Gaeta said: I knew l could count on LS to bring me down from my cloud lol Depends how dense the fog is.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted June 28, 2021 Share Posted June 28, 2021 Yeah he sounds too up in the clouds for things to be sustainable His words and actions don't match....also think he's a little too mature in age for all that lovey dovey talk after one date 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted June 28, 2021 Author Share Posted June 28, 2021 5 hours ago, Gaeta said: That would be cool. After our 1st meeting he called me from his car and asked to see me again. He left no space for doubts, l said yes but did not feel anything special. But...means nothing Coming back from my 2nd date with other prospect. That did not end well. He kissed me that was alright but he tried to reach my butt under my dress and l stopped him. He stopped and did not insist but he did not get at ALL why l didn't want to!! He kept saying he just wanted to feel my panties .......and saw nothing wrong. He apoligized 100 times, l left. He just text me to ask if l'm ok. 9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts