Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 34 minutes ago, MsJayne said: He's not going to see this unless you tell him about it. It's an anonymous website and the chances of him happening across it and then finding your posts is about a trillion billion to one, so you need to try and stop worrying about that. Talking about children sexually can be, (often is), a precursor to acting upon it. He may be, again, grooming you so that it becomes normalised to you. Is there someone you trust who you can discuss this with and get good advice? I'm genuinely concerned for you. I'm also concerned for other people who may encounter this dude. Yeah I have and yeah I do. I’m worried also Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 6 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: Yeah I have and yeah I do. I’m worried also OK. When you say he's exposed other people, do you mean he's told you things which could land those people in a lot of trouble? Can I ask how old you are? Sorry if you've already told us that, I missed it though I've read most of your threads relating to this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 11 minutes ago, MsJayne said: OK. When you say he's exposed other people, do you mean he's told you things which could land those people in a lot of trouble? Can I ask how old you are? Sorry if you've already told us that, I missed it though I've read most of your threads relating to this. Like secrets about them that could cause trouble Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 (edited) Are you a minor? If you are, report him to the authorities immediately. Do you have texts of what he said about children? This man seems disturbed on multiple levels. Edited December 10, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 12 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: Like secrets about them that could cause trouble If it's the kind of trouble that would involve police, you need to tell someone as soon as you can, and avoid any further contact with him. If he happens to have told you that you could get into trouble too, or that he will expose you, or any other type of threat or coercion, don't panic or let it stop you from telling someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 8 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Are you a minor? If you are, report him to the authorities immediately. Do you have texts of what he said about children? This man seems disturbed on multiple levels. No I’m not Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 (edited) If you are worried about his sexual desire for children, the appropriate course of action would be to take any evidence of that to the police, OP. Edited December 10, 2020 by ExpatInItaly Link to post Share on other sites
Atwood Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: If you are worried about his sexual desire for children, the appropriate course of action would be to take any evidence of that to the police, OP. This. The right thing to do is to take this information to the police. Even if they don't have anything to charge him with, the report will be on record so that if anyone else comes forward with concerns, they can build a case against him. I would feel traumatised knowing I had been intimate with someone having those thoughts, and I think you would benefit from seeking therapy to talk about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 11 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: I don’t want to count him as one of my sex partners Yet he was. Presuming you weren't attacked you need to own your own behaviour here, you're not his victim? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: No I’m not Ok so you are an adult who willingly sought out, pursued and chased a guy (complete stranger) you claim you picked up at the airport after a long and strange LDR, Then claim you proceeded to willingly and knowingly have sex after he informed you that he is into scatophilia. That's not a police situation, that's bad judgement. You are extremely vague and the story changes regularly. Does your mother know about this? You keep posting more and more outrageous twists to this story, why is that? Edited December 10, 2020 by Wiseman2 4 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Calmandfocused Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Thinking that your ex is “gross” and disagreeing with their life choices does not give you the right to seek revenge and destroy him. You made the decision to have sex with him. Own that! You’re motivated to “out” him whilst painting yourself as an angel! There is something seriously wrong with that. Do as you’re suggesting and I can guarantee you that you will come off a million times worse than he does. Move on 1 Link to post Share on other sites
notbroken Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Why does 'counting' him as a sexual partner matter? No one needs to know that besides you. You don't have some 'permanent record' written out anywhere and you aren't being 'graded'. Regret afterwards does NOT constitute anything illegal or even immoral on his part and doesn't change history. History is just that - over and done with and can't be undone. Rewriting history doesn't actually change what happened. If you would have said 'STOP!' and he continued then that is something else. If you can't get over it, seek counselling. Seriously. Maybe you should talk to a professional about this. That's not any sort of 'knock' against you and that won't go on your 'permanent record' either. I hope you drop it and are able to forget him. Though continuing to dwell on it isn't helping that. Forgive yourself. Just because he was into things you find 'gross' doesn't make you 'gross'. At all. Best wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
Zona Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 (edited) 18 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: I regret it so much I feel like there’s so reason to go on sometimes We are human and entitled to make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up over it! NC NC NC NC!!!!!!!!!! You will heal if you go NC. If you think he is doing anything illegal, then report him. If you have no proof then it might be more trouble than it is worth. Edited December 10, 2020 by Zona Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 (edited) 11 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: No I’m not Then just move on. Unless you have any evidence he has abused children, there’s nothing much to do here but move on. Anything you say to others will just be subject to skepticism and drama. Make sure you’ve blocked and deleted him everywhere and move forward. Vet men better in the future, to say the least. Edited December 10, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JRabbit Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 If you know of child abuse or potential child abuse including child abuse images you need to report it to the authorities ASAP. No excuses. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted December 13, 2020 Author Share Posted December 13, 2020 I feel really bad about the whole thing. I shouldn’t have met him. I feel dirty. How can I feel clean again after having regretful sex? I feel like I’m clean after I take a shower but a few hours later I feel like I need another one. How can I get over this? Link to post Share on other sites
Pumaza Posted December 13, 2020 Share Posted December 13, 2020 So why did you still sleep and meet him? I think you dont mean the shower type of clean.Im sure you showered already. But you feel dirty and bad for sleeping with him. Right? Give it time it will pass,and learn from this.You can also talk about it with your bff. All the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted December 13, 2020 Share Posted December 13, 2020 Therapy and meds 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted December 14, 2020 Share Posted December 14, 2020 (edited) Why on earth would you willingly sleep with THAT particular guy to begin with? Please go see a phycologist or a psychiatrist perhaps. Beating yourself over and over one stupid decision would do you no good, really. Realize that it was a big mistake and don't repeat it again in the future. We are all humans, we all make mistakes. As long as you learn from it, that's all that counts. But yes, do get some help. The sooner the better. Edited December 14, 2020 by Alvi 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted December 14, 2020 Author Share Posted December 14, 2020 3 hours ago, Pumaza said: So why did you still sleep and meet him? I think you dont mean the shower type of clean.Im sure you showered already. But you feel dirty and bad for sleeping with him. Right? Give it time it will pass,and learn from this.You can also talk about it with your bff. All the best. I meant the shower type also Link to post Share on other sites
Pumaza Posted December 14, 2020 Share Posted December 14, 2020 8 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: I meant the shower type also Oh i read the other post.Ddnt seem like you asked about shower. But there is no shower for that.Its something emotional what you are feeling. You may buy nice soaps, bubble bath,and nice bodylotion and massage your skin,just to empower the feeling of loving yourself. But much more helps to talk about,if needed with a therapist. And let time heal it. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 14, 2020 Share Posted December 14, 2020 12 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Therapy and meds Yes. Ask your mother to take you to a doctor and a therapist. It's icky and creepy sleeping with a scatophile, but it's more of a symptom of larger problems that you chose to do that with a stranger in the first place. Sex with someone you know and care about is not icky, dirty or creepy. You need to go to a doctor anyway for STD testing because you don't know this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted December 14, 2020 Author Share Posted December 14, 2020 What are some things I can do to get my mind off something I regret doing? It’s limited because of this virus but what can I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted December 14, 2020 Share Posted December 14, 2020 Therapy Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 14, 2020 Share Posted December 14, 2020 Regret sleeping with some bozo off a dating app? eating too much? getting drunk? regret what? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts