trident_2020 Posted January 7, 2021 Posted January 7, 2021 Most people who post their stories and ask for advice don't accept the advice and suggestions of the helpful posters here, or on virtually every other obscure internet relationship forum. They want validation or they want to vent or they want attention or any combination of the above. Many receive the hard truth that they are unprepared for and simply disappear. Others argue. On rare occasion someone is responsive and takes the advice and is very thankful to those who were of assistance. So it happens, but rarely. 1
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted January 8, 2021 Author Posted January 8, 2021 5 hours ago, trident_2020 said: Most people who post their stories and ask for advice don't accept the advice and suggestions of the helpful posters here, or on virtually every other obscure internet relationship forum. They want validation or they want to vent or they want attention or any combination of the above. Many receive the hard truth that they are unprepared for and simply disappear. Others argue. On rare occasion someone is responsive and takes the advice and is very thankful to those who were of assistance. So it happens, but rarely. I don’t respond much because I’m afraid he’ll stumble across this
basil67 Posted January 8, 2021 Posted January 8, 2021 (edited) Does he know you post here? Or is your username the same as you use elsewhere? Edited January 8, 2021 by basil67
spiderowl Posted January 8, 2021 Posted January 8, 2021 You slept with him, so what? That doesn’t make you complicit in anything wrong that he does. Just tell yourself you made a mistake and that you forgive yourself. If he has done things you were not happy with, then do not meet him again. I get the feeling you feel you are under his control somehow. Has he threatened to talk about you or blackmail you in some way? The only way to deal with someone like that is to remove yourself from their presence and the places he frequents and to ignore him. If he threatens you physically or is blackmailing you, please contact a women’s refuge for advice. If he says anything, just ignore it, do not feed any of his comments by replying or responding. You sound shocked at this guy and also do not trust him. You need to escape fast before he can pressure you further. Please contact a women’s refuge and talk to staff there. While you might not physically need a refuge I feel you need support to disengage from this guy. You don’t need an excuse to do this, deciding you are not right for each other is enough. You do not have to justify yourself to him. He only has power over you if you believe his threats. They won’t, they will ruin his reputation not yours.
Wiseman2 Posted January 8, 2021 Posted January 8, 2021 2 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: I don’t respond much because I’m afraid he’ll stumble across this Does go through your phone?
trident_2020 Posted January 8, 2021 Posted January 8, 2021 7 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: I don’t respond much because I’m afraid he’ll stumble across this And what would happen if he did? 1
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted January 8, 2021 Author Posted January 8, 2021 8 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Does go through your phone? No he doesn’t but he has other ways
Versacehottie Posted January 8, 2021 Posted January 8, 2021 TBH, you are sounding paranoid^^^^ . I can't remember specifically but did you also say you have OCD? I don't know that much about it but perhaps ALL of this is connected. And leads right back to what's going on inside your head. Sorry, I'm just being honest. From the way you've spoken about it on this thread (and I think your other one), I can't help but think that the side of the story you are presenting is greatly skewed and perhaps just influenced but what is going on inside your head. Anyway, if you can't get pertinent details, we probably can't help you and you should talk to a qualified professional. Lastly I would just say it's your life; you're not powerless; walk away and stop dealing with him altogether if you don't feel comfortable about it. No one is making you keep dating him. That's your choice. 1 2
BaileyB Posted January 8, 2021 Posted January 8, 2021 What would have to happen for you to leave this guy OP?
stillafool Posted January 8, 2021 Posted January 8, 2021 23 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: It’s the same person Why are you still dealing with this man after the disgusting things he did to you on your last date that you said you can't get over? What is going on with you? 1
trident_2020 Posted January 8, 2021 Posted January 8, 2021 As per her very first post she's waiting for the right opportunity to tell him that he's creepy and gross in front of a whole bunch of people. 2
dangerous Posted January 8, 2021 Posted January 8, 2021 5 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: No he doesn’t but he has other ways This thread is like the game "20 questions"! OP, if you don't properly explain your situation, then don't be surprised at the response or lack thereof, from our community. 1
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted January 9, 2021 Author Posted January 9, 2021 2 hours ago, dangerous said: This thread is like the game "20 questions"! OP, if you don't properly explain your situation, then don't be surprised at the response or lack thereof, from our community. I’m sorry. I’m trying to make it where I can pm people because I can’t post it on here
BaileyB Posted January 9, 2021 Posted January 9, 2021 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: I’m sorry. I’m trying to make it where I can pm people because I can’t post it on here Darling girl, if you can’t post it on a website because he is monitoring you and you are afraid of the consequences... that is a sure sign that you need to leave the relationship. That is neither healthy, or safe. Edited January 9, 2021 by BaileyB 1
basil67 Posted January 9, 2021 Posted January 9, 2021 2 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: I’m sorry. I’m trying to make it where I can pm people because I can’t post it on here The best way to increase your post count is to fully participate in the Loveshack community. Give help and feedback to others on their posts and you will have loads of posts in no time. 1 1
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted January 9, 2021 Author Posted January 9, 2021 3 hours ago, BaileyB said: Darling girl, if you can’t post it on a website because he is monitoring you and you are afraid of the consequences... that is a sure sign that you need to leave the relationship. That is neither healthy, or safe. I just feel like am giving up. I feel like I’m stuck because of the way everything is
Wiseman2 Posted January 9, 2021 Posted January 9, 2021 3 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: I just feel like am giving up. I feel like I’m stuck because of the way everything is Talk to your mother about this. She warned you not to pick up this stranger at the airport in the first place using her car. The story just gets stranger with, he's from halfway around the world to his scatophilia. You don't need to DM strangers. You need to talk to your trusted family and friends, as well as your doctor and therapist. These people can help you. Your physician/psychiatrist can give you better advice on coping than random strangers. 2
basil67 Posted January 9, 2021 Posted January 9, 2021 7 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: I just feel like am giving up. I feel like I’m stuck because of the way everything is Quite a way back in your discussions with us, you said that you have obsessive thoughts, but haven't seen a psychiatrist for some time. What have you done about getting back into treatment? 3
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted January 9, 2021 Author Posted January 9, 2021 7 hours ago, basil67 said: Quite a way back in your discussions with us, you said that you have obsessive thoughts, but haven't seen a psychiatrist for some time. What have you done about getting back into treatment? I’ve looked into it but no appointments for awhile and I need someone to help me now
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted January 9, 2021 Author Posted January 9, 2021 10 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Talk to your mother about this. She warned you not to pick up this stranger at the airport in the first place using her car. The story just gets stranger with, he's from halfway around the world to his scatophilia. You don't need to DM strangers. You need to talk to your trusted family and friends, as well as your doctor and therapist. These people can help you. Your physician/psychiatrist can give you better advice on coping than random strangers. When I tell some people they just say I’m kink shaming but come on....that’s weird and gross 1
BaileyB Posted January 9, 2021 Posted January 9, 2021 2 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: When I tell some people they just say I’m kink shaming but come on....that’s weird and gross You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Ever. He is entitled to have his own preferences. It doesn’t mean you have to date him and/or participate in anything that makes you uncomfortable. 1
BaileyB Posted January 9, 2021 Posted January 9, 2021 4 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: I’ve looked into it but no appointments for awhile and I need someone to help me now What kind of help do you need? What is the problem that is causing you distress in this moment?
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted January 12, 2021 Author Posted January 12, 2021 On 1/9/2021 at 1:21 PM, BaileyB said: What kind of help do you need? What is the problem that is causing you distress in this moment? Not being able to feel happy again
BaileyB Posted January 12, 2021 Posted January 12, 2021 28 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: Not being able to feel happy again Why is causing you to feel unhappy? When were you last happy, consistently happy? What was happening in your life at that time - how can you get back to that place?
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted January 12, 2021 Author Posted January 12, 2021 11 hours ago, BaileyB said: Why is causing you to feel unhappy? When were you last happy, consistently happy? What was happening in your life at that time - how can you get back to that place? When I felt like he was a different person but I found out he’s nothing like he said
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