Getting blocked for "no reason"

[nychic009]

When he told you where he'd be he expected you to show up there. When you went to a house party he got his nose out of joint.

 

He needs a LOT of attention. You need to date an adult.

 

I invited him to this house party twice btw. Gave him the address. He could of come by it was on his way home. Instead of he throws a fit for me not showing up to the club which he never invited me to to begin with. Also earlier that day I had even offered him a ride since I was driving to Long Island/same town our families were at but he told me he wanted to take the bus with his siblings bc he bought a ticket/reserved seats. I was driving and he preferred the bus lol. THIS and not formally inviting me to the club was why I thought he wanted to do his own thing and we'd meet up Sunday. I wasn't offended bc I figured he might want to do work etc on the bus.

 

Not sure if this is important, we never hooked up all the way. He was staying with his parents while waiting for his lease to begin (he moved into his new place while I was traveling). He kept on talking about me checking out his new place. Always sent me photos and updates.

 

Also, back to the blocking thing. I feel like if I blocked someone I'd want to still check up on them. It'll make me even more curious about the person I blocked lol, that's partially why I don't like to do it and rather talk. Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of what he's trying to do? If he feels some ownership, wouldn't he be more curious to check up on me? IDK how the blocking works, but maybe he could block/unblock me at his whim to check.

Edited August 6, 2019 by nychic009

[d0nnivain]

I know you invited him. He still got his nose out of joint because he's self centered. For him blocking is the answer because he doesn't have the maturity to deal.

 

Aren't you seeing this as more ways you are incompatible?

[kendahke]

 

Also, back to the blocking thing. I feel like if I blocked someone I'd want to still check up on them. It'll make me even more curious about the person I blocked lol, that's partially why I don't like to do it and rather talk. Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of what he's trying to do? If he feels some ownership, wouldn't he be more curious to check up on me? IDK how the blocking works, but maybe he could block/unblock me at his whim to check.

 

It would defeat purpose if he thought as you do. Since he doesn't, it wouldn't.

 

That paragraph indicates that the blocking, for you, has increased your interest in him exponentially.

 

When I block someone, it's because they've done something offensive enough to me that I don't want to hear from/about them again. I set them adrift and don't give a rat's butt about what they're thinking.

[nychic009]

No, I was hurt for 30 minutes, confused for all of yesterday but after comments from you guys I just can't take this guy seriously anymore. I mean, there's just too many antics -- he's like a redic cartoon character now lol. I guess in a way I lost respect for him. Not sure how to describe it but it's like, he no longer turns me on. Just not attracted.

 

When I was used to be less mature (early 20s) I'd block someone out of anger/resentment just to unblock them 2 days later bc I over reacted. Obviously, I've matured and know better now. But I've always unblocked bc I was too curious what they were up to and it was done out of spite. If I truly wanted nothing to do with the person I usually not care to do anything, unless they were harassing me.

Edited August 6, 2019 by nychic009

[ExpatInItaly]

I highly doubt it. We have several close mutual friends from college and I double checked with them after the blocking thing, cuz I thought this too but he’s not back with his last ex. And everything was fine until Friday’s situation. If that was the case he wouldn’t have wanted me to come by Friday. He even mentioned going back to his family’s home after. His brother and his wife was also at the club.

 

This does not mean he does not have other girls in his roster, OP. Not being back with his ex doesn't mean there isn't another girl he also has his eye on.

 

He could be casually dating a few of you. Maybe one wasn't out on Friday, so he tried to invite you instead. It means little if his brother was there; if he's just out having fun, it's not as though they would necessarily find it strange to meet a girl he's dated a few times. Using myself as the example: When I was casually dating, my cousin and his wife happened to be visiting my city for a couple weeks. In that span, on different nights out, they met both the guys I was dating at the time - on each occasion, each of the guys were in our vicinity when they called so I invited them to catch up with my cousin and I. It wasn't a big deal and I didn't try to hide either one, which I feel may be the difference here.

 

I still think there is someone else on his radar and he's decided to focus on her for now, and doesn't want her to figure out you were also in the picture.

[nychic009]

We all have backups/people on the back burner. It would be weird if you didn't in this day and age with OLD. I probably wouldn't even date someone with no options (and vv). I'm also dating multiple guys. Just figure that for a guy I've been out with only a few times there's no need to block anyone. We're all just casually dating. Even if he wanted to date another chick, I don't think she'd know about me based on social media (I mean, he's very social and has over 1000+ friends). Like on his friends and followers list I'm sure there are tons of girls he's been out with before. He's not blocking every one of them.

 

The block is really extreme and given his personality type I think it's more so being pissed. You don't have to block me on imessage and every media platform to date other girls you know. It's not like I post pics of him or anything. But nothing is impossible so.. anything is possible. Kind of don't care at this point. Hopefully the truth will reveal itself.

Edited August 6, 2019 by nychic009

[OatsAndHall]

At the end of the day, the "whys" don't matter. He is reactive, threw a tantrum and blocked you. Be extremely wary if he unblocks you and contacts you as that'll be a sure sign you have a true weirdo hanging around. That means he's playing games and trying to be manipulative.

[nychic009]

Yeah, kind of a bummer as I liked him a lot. Was really looking forward to seeing him. The block has totally changed my opinion of him from caring and attentive respectful man into a immature brat.

[Beendaredonedat]

(I mean, he's very social and has over 1000+ friends)

1000 "friends" my arse... That alone would make me next him and have zero need to start a thread about why he blocked me. The guys a total attention Wh***.

 

No one needs or has 1000 true 'friends' and he's just collecting.

[nychic009]

Yeah but by end of high school, college, mba and various summer camps etc we'd probably all have over 1000 "friends". I meant in terms of social media followings, not true friends (which would be more like <5). I think it's normal for someone in their late 20s/early 30s to have this number considering all the schooling/work we've gone through esp if you live in a big city. He is an attention whore tho!

[SophieG]

I’m in my late 20s, did 5 years off university, multiple camps, and I barely have 200 friends. I don’t add acquaintances or people I barely know. For me, 1000+ friends isn’t normal, it shows that you like having people’s attention... but that’s me

[stillafool]

1000 "friends" my arse... That alone would make me next him and have zero need to start a thread about why he blocked me. The guys a total attention Wh***.

 

No one needs or has 1000 true 'friends' and he's just collecting.

 

And, I'll bet at least 700 of them are women.

[nychic009]

He's a pretty normal guy in terms of social media. Doesn't follow models or celebs. All his friends are people he knows from school and work. I try not read too much into social media though, I think it's a fake world. I mean, while I was traveling 3 guys who I went on 1-2 dates with added me but it's not like I am into any of them. So, reading into social media is useless.

[Timshel]

NY, you are falling for abuse. He is a loser who let his friend talk about taking you home in front of him. Closed you out of his social media (lol) and you are salivating to make it all better.

Grow up.

NY can't be so bad and you can't be so blind or desperate to see this dude is playing you.

The minute you are discerning is the moment juvenile shenanigans stop.

[Beendaredonedat]

He's a pretty normal guy in terms of social media. Doesn't follow models or celebs. All his friends are people he knows from school and work. I try not read too much into social media though, I think it's a fake world. I mean, while I was traveling 3 guys who I went on 1-2 dates with added me but it's not like I am into any of them. So, reading into social media is useless.

 

I think what is useless is adding someone or accepting someone you don't want anything to do with.

 

Off topic but what is the point of it all, really?

[kendahke]

No, I was hurt for 30 minutes

 

 

Something tells me he isn't sweating this nearly as much as you are...

[Highndry]

The kind of guy who does something like that is an absolute wimp of the highest order.

[Maggiemay1]

OP,

If you were hurt for 30 minutes over a guy then why post about it? And subsequently respond?

You now claim to be multidating so why do you care about one that dropped off the radar?

 

It seems that you are only pissed off because he blocked you even though he was one of many?

 

Self esteem issues?

[ivanposlovni]

Seems like childish behavior not worth worrying about.Just move on.

[nychic009]

OP,

If you were hurt for 30 minutes over a guy then why post about it? And subsequently respond?

You now claim to be multidating so why do you care about one that dropped off the radar?

 

It seems that you are only pissed off because he blocked you even though he was one of many?

 

Self esteem issues?

 

 

People here really love to attack and assume. Because I'm analytical and obsesses over things I cannot figure out. Once I figured something out, I stop thinking about it. Also, boredom. It's entertaining.

[stillafool]

We're sorry but it just seems like it would be more fun going out with the other guys than over analyzing and obsessing over a guy who could care less and showed that by blocking you.

 

It's incredible that he's met 1000 people through work to add to his social media. Most people don't have that many people in total where they work. I imagine he's blocking and unblocking people all day long.

[OatsAndHall]

The dating game grows tedious and frustrating when you spend energy trying to decipher odd behavior. I spent time obsessing over the "whys" for awhile and it's just a waste of time at the end of the day.

 

 

 

Case in point; about two months ago I had four fun dates with a woman who claimed to be enjoying her time with me and looked forward to seeing me. She cancelled plans on short notice (a half hour before were supposed to meet) one day and then ghosted me completely. She texted me out of the blue two weeks later with "Hey, I'm sorry I didn't respond to you sooner, just checking to see how you're doing!".

 

 

 

When I first started dating, I would have been consumed with WHY she cancelled on short notice, WHY she ghosted me and, finally, WHY she was popping back up. I would've been frustrated with the situation, let it take up too much room in my head and possibly made myself look like an a-- by continuing to pursue her.

 

 

 

But, to save myself the frustration, I just wrote her off when she cancelled on short notice. I set up dates with another woman, had fun and didn't give it a second thought. When she texted me, I just laughed to myself and deleted the message. No muss, no fuss. I don't think she's a bad person but I certainly know she's someone that I'm not going to expend time or energy on.

[Maggiemay1]

Once I figured something out, I stop thinking about it. Also, boredom. It's entertaining.

 

Have you figured it out?

When he blocked you , that was the time to stop thinking about it because at that point , you knew he wasn’t interested and would never know why. Despite what anyone might surmise.

 

As for boredom, aren’t you dating others? Why are you bored?

There are plenty more better and productive ways of entertaining yourself.

 

In future just let it be what it is.

He did block you for a reason that you will never truly know , you could analyse it for months and still not know.

 

Best of luck with the other guys and finding what you want.

[elaine567]

Haven't read the whole thread BUT this is easy.

 

He went out of his way to be there for you when you were sick. He did the whole concerned bf thing,

He no doubt set up in his mind your "homecoming" Friday night in the club.

Even his brother and wife were there and you were a no show...

Embarrassing +++

I guess he also had plans for the two of you for Sat night too, but by that time he was seething...

By Sunday he was done...

[nychic009]

-SO, we made plans on Thursday to hang out Sunday evening

-We were going to play Friday night by ear. This was the plan we made. He did not tell me who was going to be at Friday's dinner except that there were a bunch of guys. He also did not invite me or at any point tell me to come by. I only found out later through social media who was there.

-I, on the other hand invited him to the house party, which he was made about.

-Sat he was going back to the city (NY) and I was supposed to stay on in LI with my family so we never had plans/could meet that evening anyway. The only concrete plan we had was Sunday night, when we both were back from LI.

I get that this guy reacted not out of logic though, bc his perception is that I ditched him.

 

 

-I think that maybe while I was gone for 10 days) he was talking to/going on dates with other girls (fine, we were casual) out of boredom/waiting around for me. He went out of his way to be my concerned bf during the trip/when I was sick. He didn't feel like I treated him like a priority when I got back and took me being sick as disinterest and the misunderstanding on Friday as a diss, esp. when he went out of his way, and maybe 'waited' for me. He is an egomanic and very emotional so yes he was seething on Sat probably and on Sun couldn't get over it and blocked me on a whim. Also probably was like, why am I putting up with this girl when I have x number of other options (this is the mentality of people in big cities with OLD when you don't get your way/something goes awry sadly).

 

Friday was really a minor misunderstanding. If that was TRULY the case where he was so hurt over it, I would be open to apologizing. Someone has to give. BUT what scares me is will this will happen again, because should I invest in this guy more, I'd be devastated if this happened 1 year, or 2 years into the relationship.

 

And to answer another poster, yes I do have other orbiters - guys I went on casual dates with here and there but felt the most connection with this guy. Just because you have multiple options doesn't mean you feel strongly about everyone. No, I will never figure it out, unless he tells me directly. I've been trying to move on, went on 2 dates already this week but still thinking about him. It does suck bc. I really liked him and it seems like such a dramatic row over a minor misunderstanding.

Edited August 8, 2019 by nychic009