Shining One Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 I know he was using it when we were on our second date (he showed me something on his phone and I saw notification) so I think he didn't start to move on but rather never stopped.While I don't condone his deceit, at what point do you consider it "appropriate" for him to stop using the app? I typically take myself off the apps after I've slept with a woman and we've mutually agreed to exclusivity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SurDeFil Posted August 7, 2019 Author Share Posted August 7, 2019 (edited) While I don't condone his deceit, at what point do you consider it "appropriate" for him to stop using the app? I typically take myself off the apps after I've slept with a woman and we've mutually agreed to exclusivity. For me before sleeping with someone but after we develop emotional and physical connection. Here the problem is that he HIMSELF told me he is not seeing anyone else and he is sure he wants to date only me while we were talking about us and I knew he was logging to the app that day (and before as well). Edited August 7, 2019 by SurDeFil Link to post Share on other sites
Navybluegal Posted August 8, 2019 Share Posted August 8, 2019 For me before sleeping with someone but after we develop emotional and physical connection. Here the problem is that he HIMSELF told me he is not seeing anyone else and he is sure he wants to date only me while we were talking about us and I knew he was logging to the app that day (and before as well). You should be proud of yourself for picking up on this guy's flakiness. ALWAYS trust your gut. When the person genuinely treats you with care, trust and respect, it will feel *right* and your gut will be at peace xoxo It's also unbelievable the number of people on this thread who were suggesting that you dismiss your concerns and suspicions. Wow. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 8, 2019 Share Posted August 8, 2019 I know he was using it when we were on our second date (he showed me something on his phone and I saw notification) OK. That is not a "gut feeling" something is wrong. That is objective evidence that he's multi-dating. Forget listening to your gut or not, forget instincts. Why did you ignore this red flag? It was far more concrete then some feeling. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SurDeFil Posted August 8, 2019 Author Share Posted August 8, 2019 OK. That is not a "gut feeling" something is wrong. That is objective evidence that he's multi-dating. Forget listening to your gut or not, forget instincts. Why did you ignore this red flag? It was far more concrete then some feeling. It was our second date (maybe first week of dating) and at this point I was also dating other people. At that time it was not a red flag for me. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 8, 2019 Share Posted August 8, 2019 Fair enough. I am trying to empower you. Somewhere in here you said something about not having a reliable gut, which is why I suggested giving him the benefit of the doubt until you had evidence. Sadly you got evidence & have since made the wise choice to move on. I want you to trust yourself but also to look at things objectively. Yes, your gut is a component of the overall picture but until you hone that sense, take in everything. In the long run I think you will be OK because you did have an accurate 6th sense about something being off. Are you getting my point about info gathering from a variety of objective and subjective sources when you 1st date? Am I making sense? Link to post Share on other sites
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