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Do MM come back after getting caught?

HowToQuit

By HowToQuit
in The Other Man / Woman

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SpiceCat Established Member

SpiceCat

Posted
Posted
@SpiceCat

Thank you!!

 

Not responding to ILY and IMY crumbs shifts the power back to me. I no longer am desperate for attention. My mind is made up. I am just going not to block and observe for now, just like a bystander...

 

I understand. You'll be able to block when you're ready. Just stay strong and do NOT reciprocate contact.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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HowToQuit Established Member

HowToQuit

Posted
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Posted

I can’t figure out how to update the title.. so posting the update here.

 

As predicted, he is back. Love bombing. I have responded to some (ugh) but have not agreed to any meets.

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
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Well, this situation can only go one of two ways... So, the question becomes - what are you planning to do?

Lov3foo1 Member

Lov3foo1

Posted
Posted
I can’t figure out how to update the title.. so posting the update here.

 

As predicted, he is back. Love bombing. I have responded to some (ugh) but have not agreed to any meets.

 

So...is he leaving his wife? Because seriously, anything other than that don’t mean jack crap.

Swingen Member

Swingen

Posted
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If you are happy to see a married man and be the 'other woman' then continue to do so. If however, you have had enough of that then end it, block him and walk away. It is that simple a choice (difficult to go through, but simple nevertheless)

 

If he is promising to leave his wife for you then ignore that. You will only ever be his OW.

 

Always judge people by what they do never by what they say.

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
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Actually it doesn’t mean jack crap unless his divorce is final.

..even then...

 

Once divorced, he is free. He doesn't need an OW, he can openly date anyone he wants to...

SS2855 Established Member

SS2855

Posted
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While the physical pain of the A being over is real... and I miss waking up to his texts and falling asleep to his texts, I feel that A made me an addict to all these highs. I need to withdraw, recover and recalibrate.

 

And yet, I still long for him and for that notification on my cell and hope he is back one day.

 

I’m so sorry. I’m in an A now and recently thinking of trying to end it- the emotions of it all have been too much. Our messaging app is my lifeline. I LIVE for those notifications and often times a morning “ ping” (or lack of) has dictated the kind of day I knew I was going to have. How sad.

Maddie82 Established Member

Maddie82

Posted
Posted (edited)
It was a complete bombshell. He sent a very explicit text about our morning sex to his wife instead of me by mistake... he did deny it was him and said his phone was hacked but that’s all I know. He called me later to explain what happened and that it is over as he needs to shift his focus on rebuilding his home life...

 

This right here tells you everything you need to know. He never had any intention of ever leaving his wife and home life. The moment he messed up, he dropped you like a hot potato. You were never his priority and you were never important enough to him. He chose his wife over you in an instant. Yes he will likely come sneaking back at a later date when all has settled down again but for your own sake and his wife's, don't go there again.

Edited by Maddie82
Maddie82 Established Member

Maddie82

Posted
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He reassured me my name was not revealed. So I take comfort in this news.

 

Don't rely on it. Wives have a way of finding things out. She will find out who you are if she digs hard enough.

Maddie82 Established Member

Maddie82

Posted
Posted (edited)
@SpiceCat

Thank you!!

 

Not responding to ILY and IMY crumbs shifts the power back to me. I no longer am desperate for attention. My mind is made up. I am just going not to block and observe for now, just like a bystander...

 

Another poster in another thread said the same thing after her mm went back to his wife. Said she was done with him and moving on with her life. Then she took him back and got dumped by him a second time. She maintained that she was being strong and not going to talk to him ever again, then slipped and called him to find he had blocked her number. She blamed the wife and has not returned to the thread since.

Edited by Maddie82
MetallicHue Established Member

MetallicHue

Posted
Posted
I can’t figure out how to update the title.. so posting the update here.

 

As predicted, he is back. Love bombing. I have responded to some (ugh) but have not agreed to any meets.

 

It’s quite obvious that it’s at his convenience. Sure you can have power and control over him. But is this what you really want? If it was true love he would break free of his wife and not play these upside down games with you.

karmaisabitotch Member

karmaisabitotch

Posted
Posted
..even then...

 

Once divorced, he is free. He doesn't need an OW, he can openly date anyone he wants to...

 

 

You're so right! This is a hard core hurt like hell to any OW.

Allupinnit Established Member

Allupinnit

Posted
Posted
I can’t figure out how to update the title.. so posting the update here.

 

As predicted, he is back. Love bombing. I have responded to some (ugh) but have not agreed to any meets.

 

You can be quite certain that this cycle repeats itself with his wife as well. It's the only way he can keep you both hooked.

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BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted
You can be quite certain that this cycle repeats itself with his wife as well. It's the only way he can keep you both hooked.

 

Good point.

 

Am I wrong to assume OP, that your lack or response and your unwillingness to block this man from contacting you indicates that you are still considering this relationship? I sense a woman who is not ready to completely give up on this affair...

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Allupinnit Established Member

Allupinnit

Posted
Posted
Good point.

 

Am I wrong to assume OP, that your lack or response and your unwillingness to block this man from contacting you indicates that you are still considering this relationship? I sense a woman who is not ready to completely give up on this affair...

 

Going No Contact really is the only way. Not blocking keeps the door ajar for the AP to blow right on in and by not blocking, that's what you're hoping for anyway.

 

I think you should switch out "love bombing" with "manipulation." Because that's what he's doing - manipulating you and his sitch at home to keep both women on the hook.

 

This man doesn't love you. And your worth as a woman is far more precious than what this situation is leading you to believe about yourself.

  • Like 1
BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted (edited)

Ah, I heard the best quote the other day and it is in keeping with this discussion...

 

“An apology without a change of behavior is really just a form of manipulation.”

 

Lovebombing, offering fancy “I love you’s” or promises or apologies mean nothing if nothing changes. It’s nothing more than an attempt at manipulation, an attempt to get you back into his bed.

Edited by BaileyB
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