Author faithandfood Posted July 11, 2019 Author Share Posted July 11, 2019 So two weeks today...has been the initiating most of the texts since then. No mention of seeing again. I just don't get why he texts me everyday when he's not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Stop answering his texts. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Never have serious conversations via text. There is too much opportunity for misunderstanding and I don't think texting about something serious gives it the respect and attention it deserves. And, I wouldn't ask him anything. I would make a statement -- "You know, Xname, my dating goal is to find a long-term, committed relationship with someone". And, then let him talk. If he hedges about his goals or feeds you a string along line after 6 months of "dating", you tell him it's clear you aren't on the same page and you want to move on and wish him well. End of discussion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Maybe he likes talking to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author faithandfood Posted July 11, 2019 Author Share Posted July 11, 2019 Maybe he likes talking to you? Idk. He replies hours apart, so I don't think so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author faithandfood Posted July 11, 2019 Author Share Posted July 11, 2019 Also he posted on his Twitter the other day "i like Aquarius women, but they don't like me" and some girl liked it. Checked her pro & they seem to be talking. She's an Aquarius. He was in her city on Monday Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 I get the feeling he's a bit of a womaniser. He knows you are quite naive and so he is not pushing his luck. He is keeping you on a string with occasional texts. I would not reply straight away but wait the same amount of time he waited before he texted you back. He's not really on the same page, he's just looking for fun and sex not a relationship. I think you would get hurt if you got involved with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Spider, I think you're right. He's just keeping her on a string. She says he takes hours to reply. The interest is low but he wants her as a back up . . . Link to post Share on other sites
Author faithandfood Posted July 12, 2019 Author Share Posted July 12, 2019 Yeah that's what I'm getting out of the whole thing. After I discovered the girl's page, I started replying dry/cold to his texts, with one words. I also posted on my story on how I'm not going to be foolish/not take anyone's bs this summer. He viewed it so hope he got the hint. We haven't talked today after I replied with one word. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 WWhen I asked when we would see again, he said with due time, but he'll see me again Warning! Warning! Player alert. He's right that he's not the right kind of guy for you. This guy will always leave you waiting and wondering. He's only good for women who are not into exclusive relationships. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author faithandfood Posted July 12, 2019 Author Share Posted July 12, 2019 Warning! Warning! Player alert. He's right that he's not the right kind of guy for you. This guy will always leave you waiting and wondering. He's only good for women who are not into exclusive relationships. Yeah you're right. Just gonna try and distance myself. He sent me a snap of him saying he got off work. I'm guessing he sent it to multiple people so didn't reply. Mad bc my phone accidentally video called him..and he just looked it at lmao. He then sent something but haven't opened. Just gonna tell him later on today that it was an accident. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 Don't even tell him it was an accident--unless he reaches out to you to ask. Leave him in the dark as to what is going on with you. When he treats you better like works for your attention and puts in real effort you can show it back & at this point, just do it sparingly like when he earns your attention. If you reached out to tell him it was a mistake, that is really YOU asking for his attention. It's like you are trying to get the ball rolling with a reason to contact him. So don't do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author faithandfood Posted July 12, 2019 Author Share Posted July 12, 2019 (edited) Don't even tell him it was an accident--unless he reaches out to you to ask. Leave him in the dark as to what is going on with you. When he treats you better like works for your attention and puts in real effort you can show it back & at this point, just do it sparingly like when he earns your attention. If you reached out to tell him it was a mistake, that is really YOU asking for his attention. It's like you are trying to get the ball rolling with a reason to contact him. So don't do that. Yeah girl. He messaged last night "What is going on with your phone" so took time (10 hrs) to tell him that it was an accident. He replied to this 1 hr ago, but haven't opened it yet. Edited July 12, 2019 by faithandfood 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 haha ok good! I would make him squirm quite a bit. Right now even when you are "it was just an accident" and not opening his most recent message, it is probably driving him a little crazy and he probably is liking it, likes the challenge. Keep it in this zone And my advice, no more thinly-veiled social media posts that he would think are for him--even if they are saying effectively "i'm done with this or better than this". Those type of messages are emo and what they do convey is "he can effect you and toy with your emotions". Mad is not as motivating as indifferent and where he WONDERS if you are dating other guys, lost his chance. Mad means he knows you still care and there is still an opening if he can get you un-mad. He will be more intrigued when you act like his bullish*t isn't interesting to you and it gets him to up his game with you or move on if he was just in a using, f*ck around state--which I do think might be where he's at because of his age but still: be the girl he cannot get/affect with his shenanigans. Goodluck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author faithandfood Posted July 13, 2019 Author Share Posted July 13, 2019 haha ok good! I would make him squirm quite a bit. Right now even when you are "it was just an accident" and not opening his most recent message, it is probably driving him a little crazy and he probably is liking it, likes the challenge. Keep it in this zone And my advice, no more thinly-veiled social media posts that he would think are for him--even if they are saying effectively "i'm done with this or better than this". Those type of messages are emo and what they do convey is "he can effect you and toy with your emotions". Mad is not as motivating as indifferent and where he WONDERS if you are dating other guys, lost his chance. Mad means he knows you still care and there is still an opening if he can get you un-mad. He will be more intrigued when you act like his bullish*t isn't interesting to you and it gets him to up his game with you or move on if he was just in a using, f*ck around state--which I do think might be where he's at because of his age but still: be the girl he cannot get/affect with his shenanigans. Goodluck Yeah he was like, blanket dial? I was like, ??? my Android is becoming an embarrassment. I sent this five hours later like at 12. He hasn't opened it since yesterday lmao a whole 24 hours. I'm thinking of deleting the message cause he viewed my story I posted last night. I'm done with him. I'm not gonna pu interest in anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 Yeah he's baiting you. See he's testing you with not believing it was a pocket dial or a mistake. That's all ego and/or even if he's wanting to start a conversation, he's going about it in a cocky, backward way. It's all about him. Then making you wait 12 hours to open your message is hilarious...and transparent. Tit for tat. When a player starts losing at their own game, it's funny. And it obvious to see what they've been doing all along. Link to post Share on other sites
Author faithandfood Posted July 13, 2019 Author Share Posted July 13, 2019 I just deleted the message I sent. He just viewed the story I just posted. Don't have time for bs. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 I realize it doesn't feel that way to you, but he is really young and it is very rare for a guy of his age to be even within five years of being ready for a serious committed relationship. If that's what you're waiting for, guys get more serious about being committed around 29, 30. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 Yeah I agree with prepah. Guys at 21 are often not serious about much with girls. Especially if they can, their goal is to get a lot of attention from various girls. I think you should have your fun but always keep it moving because unless a guy really proves it to you you can't take it too seriously or them at their just their word. Their actions have to back it up and then some. Don't handle over any sort of loyalty when you are just casual dating. Don't get mad or upset, just keep having fun your way. Means they are going to try to get with lots of girls (this type of guy at his age) and YOU can keep meeting a bunch of guys. Be chased, it works better that way 90% of the time, probably more but I don't have an official stat. Good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author faithandfood Posted July 13, 2019 Author Share Posted July 13, 2019 Yeah he's baiting you. See he's testing you with not believing it was a pocket dial or a mistake. That's all ego and/or even if he's wanting to start a conversation, he's going about it in a cocky, backward way. It's all about him. Then making you wait 12 hours to open your message is hilarious...and transparent. Tit for tat. When a player starts losing at their own game, it's funny. And it obvious to see what they've been doing all along. Nah. Honestly. I don't want to prolong the convo so I deleted two messages and left it with "?" he just replied to it. I'm gonna open it tomorrow at 1 & not reply. And I give him a week to stop these dumb games. If not, blocked. I didn't ask for a pen pal. The disrespect is too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author faithandfood Posted July 13, 2019 Author Share Posted July 13, 2019 I realize it doesn't feel that way to you, but he is really young and it is very rare for a guy of his age to be even within five years of being ready for a serious committed relationship. If that's what you're waiting for, guys get more serious about being committed around 29, 30. I understand what you mean..but this guy has been in three serious relationships. His last was a year. I get that he's trying to have fun. I am too. But I don't get these games. The least you can do is be upfront. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 Nah. Honestly. I don't want to prolong the convo so I deleted two messages and left it with "?" he just replied to it. I'm gonna open it tomorrow at 1 & not reply. And I give him a week to stop these dumb games. If not, blocked. I didn't ask for a pen pal. The disrespect is too much. I don't think you should do that. You're getting way too angry. That's going to be your downfall with boys that play games. You need to tell yourself: if he plays these games and doesn't want to date me, his loss & not the one for me. The trick if you keep playing the games and setting these time frames you mentioned above, you keep yourself locked in--you will care about the outcome, because you will have kept investing more, even if it is just negative thoughts and wasting your own time waiting. I also think blocking is extremely unnecessary. He's lame as a boyfriend not a stalker. If you are not mentally capable of hearing from him and letting it mess with whatever forward movement you have, then ok block. I would hope you are stronger than that and just find whatever contact he makes in the future entertaining. I sure would. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 I understand what you mean..but this guy has been in three serious relationships. His last was a year. I get that he's trying to have fun. I am too. But I don't get these games. The least you can do is be upfront. A think wanting someone to be something they are not, i.e. upfront is just not smart. When it comes to dating, his actions and how he treats you tell you what you need to know. I don't think because someone has uttered a word to you and flirted with you or is talking to you, that they need to give you an explanation of what's going on with you and his thoughts of you as his future. That's an obligation most 21 year old guys won't do. Especially if they are a player. I think the fact that he has been in 3 serious relationships just go to prove that he wants his freedom right now and/or is not that interested in you--so this information actually makes the scenario worse not better. It's foolish to expect people to live by your set of should's. Can't deny reality: what he is doing, is what he is doing. He doesn't really owe you anything IMO but ultimately he IS NOT giving you much to go on, that's what you need to accept. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author faithandfood Posted July 14, 2019 Author Share Posted July 14, 2019 I don't think you should do that. You're getting way too angry. That's going to be your downfall with boys that play games. You need to tell yourself: if he plays these games and doesn't want to date me, his loss & not the one for me. The trick if you keep playing the games and setting these time frames you mentioned above, you keep yourself locked in--you will care about the outcome, because you will have kept investing more, even if it is just negative thoughts and wasting your own time waiting. I also think blocking is extremely unnecessary. He's lame as a boyfriend not a stalker. If you are not mentally capable of hearing from him and letting it mess with whatever forward movement you have, then ok block. I would hope you are stronger than that and just find whatever contact he makes in the future entertaining. I sure would. Sigh you're right. Let me not block. You know how he sent the message after like 12 hrs yesterday afternoon? I haven't opened it, but he's been seeing me active on social media.idk if I should reply to it or just not reply. Link to post Share on other sites
Author faithandfood Posted July 14, 2019 Author Share Posted July 14, 2019 (edited) Just opened it after a whole day . I posted a snap of me reflecting on my 2019. He was like, how's your year been hot girl? & He also sent that he got accepted to a new uni for public health. We both failed out of nursing school this May. I switched to public health, and he said I inspired him to do the same. Guess I'll just tell him congrats Edited July 14, 2019 by faithandfood Link to post Share on other sites
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