Author kathsil Posted May 5, 2019 Author Share Posted May 5, 2019 (edited) Thank you! You're right, I'm not entitled or high maintenance, I have never asked for the moon, a diamond ring or to fly me over to Paris for dinner, I only asked for normal proper dating, that's all. But this kind of toxic dudes that do so little can make you believe you are the one who is demanding just because you want to go out to have a nice dinner once in a while. Ridiculous. Maybe I should start asking for the moon, and that will put these dudes at bay. Edited May 6, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
SpecialJ Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 (edited) You shouldn't ask for the moon, you should just unapologetically communicate directly what you want without hinting and work on trusting more in yourself and that you're okay with or without these guys and can take them or leave them until they consistently prove they want to be there. It's great if the guys are making you feel you are asking too much, because that means you are quickly picking up on them being avoidant, unwilling to step up, not compatible with you (and likely still too selfish to be ready for anyone looking for what you want). Once you flip it from it feeling like rejection of you to you're deciding if it's a good, compatible guy for you, it becomes much easier to weed out bad situations quickly. It doesn't make dating less frustrating, because there are a lot of people of both genders who aren't able to have a mature relationship and sometimes you'll go through lots of men without finding one you connect with, but you'll stop taking it personally, wasting time with the wrong ones, or being attracted to the ones who are fast and furious at the beginning out of manipulation (conscious or not) instead of genuine interest. Edited May 6, 2019 by SpecialJ Link to post Share on other sites
Author kathsil Posted May 6, 2019 Author Share Posted May 6, 2019 (edited) Thank you, I agree with all you said. Yes I do have to stop taking it personally, especially when for example this guy told me that the issues I started to have with him, were the same he was having with his ex... and I'm pretty sure the next woman he gets involved with would have the same issues again, because that is not a guy who has any self-awareness and desire to evolve. So yes I haveto stop taking it personally and just realize is the way he is and is doesn't suit me, so next. Edited May 7, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed quote Link to post Share on other sites
fieldoflavender Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 It isn't compatible and you already seem like you want to break-up with him but it really is not abusive. Not nice and not being a "gentleman" is not the same as abuse. Repeating what he did (Which was inconsiderate) won't make people on the forum agree with you that it's abusive behaviour. It really is an inappropriate of the terminology. If he didn't leave when you asked him to and threatened you, that's a different story. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kathsil Posted May 8, 2019 Author Share Posted May 8, 2019 fieldoflavender: I'm not sure if you read all the thread, but I have said before that maybe I misused the word "abusive". I was pis*** off by his behaviour when I wrote that. Yes he was inconsiderate and selfish, and that's it. I have already broken up with it and feel relieved. Link to post Share on other sites
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