Versacehottie Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 Whew, this is quite a lot of overthinking that won't do you any good in life really. Your brain is on overdrive trying to protect your emotions and your vulnerability so much. It's actually fails to interpret any possible outcomes, the fact that you could be wrong or that what YOU do would impact a positive or negative outcome, i.e. what happens for you two dating is a cumulative event rather than whatever your brain is trying to outstrategize. At the minimum, wouldn't it be better to go after what you want rather than speculate on what or what not this guy wants to happen and proceed from YOUR OWN wants/goals? That's a much better way to live life. If you are going to think like this you will back yourself into many corners out of fear and negative thinking and are bound to talk yourself out of anything. There is no potential for growth or opportunity if you speculate on everything that can go wrong or what won't go your way. You've got to risk to get almost everything in life. I agree with donavin, that it boils down to what you are willing to do. Your equation about "how other people contact you" doesn't make allowances for who this guy is himself, i.e. different than others. AND importantly, if you were right, are you THAT afraid of sending a text in which he is not interested? How is that different than him being not interested WITHOUT further contact, as is happening right now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lagoon1212 Posted April 29, 2019 Author Share Posted April 29, 2019 What would you send? He was online on dating site this morning. But I was as well to see if he was online (he could be doing the same) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lagoon1212 Posted April 30, 2019 Author Share Posted April 30, 2019 You know my text “I had fun getting to know you last night” itself conveys interest. If I said had fun only that would be different but I hinted getting to know him. Giving up on this one. So far, one guy from OLD didnt contact me after first date but he did two months later when I turned him down. Maybe one day I will know what happened with this one. Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 Maybe it's just me, but I feel like a third person needs to step in and set up a date for you two because you're both afraid to reach out to the other person. It's just the way it is. It doesn't sound like you two are compatible. If each person is expecting the other to make the next move, then there's no point. Link to post Share on other sites
TooBad Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 (edited) You know my text “I had fun getting to know you last night” itself conveys interest. If I said had fun only that would be different but I hinted getting to know him. Giving up on this one. So far, one guy from OLD didnt contact me after first date but he did two months later when I turned him down. Maybe one day I will know what happened with this one. So you're going to strike pre-emptively. Give up on him before he gives up on you. The way you perceive your text might very well not be the way he preceived it. I wouldn't. I would think 'well ok, she had fun' and yes I would ask if you would like to do it again, but still…. Why didn't you hand him that ? You overthink things. You find meaning in things not said or done. It should be the other way around. EDIT: Actually, what's stopping you from texting the guy 'Would you like to kiss me?' ? It will certainly clear the air, and either start a conversation or more, or not. At least you will know for sure. If he sais no, who cares.. You hardly knew him anyway. But do make the effort. Edited April 30, 2019 by TooBad 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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