Lagoon1212 Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 I already made a post about this guy who I knew in person but also matched with on dating site. Finally, we went out last night. Prior to date, he was super interested, texted almost every day, asked what kind of places I liked, arrived 10 minutes earlier and just in general I felt he put some effort. The date itself was ok, we laughed and talked. At one point the server was gonna ask something but instead said “you are having a moment here, I will be back” (thanks, that wasnt awkward at all). Towards the end (almost two hours later) he asked “where next” but I thought it was late and plus there was nothing in close proximity (unless we drove.) I just shrugged my shoulders and he got a check. Now, the most confusing thing... we walk outside to the parking lot. He turns towards me and mumbles if he could kiss me. I laugh nervously and mumble yeah.... but then he goes for a hug and says nice meeting you and walks towrds his car. I walk the opposite direction towards mine. And thats it, no texts nothing. I am confused 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 He choked & is now beating himself up thinking you never want to talk to him or see him ever again. Cut him some slack. You reach out to him to set up the 2nd date which will be your treat. When you greet him you kiss him hello with a peck on the cheek or lips if you prefer. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 (edited) I am confused You're confused because HE's confused . . . find yourself a guy who isn't confused Forget about this one. Edited April 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 He was nervous. He probably interpreted your nervous laugh as a lack of interest, or half interest and half pity, and decided against it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 He's feeling like a dork...smooth like sandpaper. You want to see him again, just send him an honest message like "I know we were both a little nervous which made things awkward between us, but I would like to see you again :)" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lagoon1212 Posted April 25, 2019 Author Share Posted April 25, 2019 He's feeling like a dork...smooth like sandpaper. You want to see him again, just send him an honest message like "I know we were both a little nervous which made things awkward between us, but I would like to see you again :)" I was contemplating sending him a thank you follow up text but I am not sure he wants to see me again. During the date there was no mention of the next date, no touching, and he didn't walk me to my car (it was close in the parking lot but still). I feel like follow up text might put pressure on him if he just wants out. Nice meeting you also sounded like "thanks for hanging out with me, friend" Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 Possibly you're not sending clear enough signals that you're ready for next steps, assuming you are, so he's not sure how to proceed. Possibly he was hoping for "my place" when he asked where next. Since he didn't get that, he may be confused or feel rejected or believe that you don't like him enough for physical intimacy and so isn't sure what to do. Agree that he was nervous and basically blew it on the kiss part. You may need to make it clear that you do like him and initiate the next date, assuming you want one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lagoon1212 Posted April 25, 2019 Author Share Posted April 25, 2019 (edited) I do want next date. I do have a tendency to be hard to read. And i might be giving him too much credit but I don't think he was implying his place next (my impression, could be wrong). I am afraid there was no chemistry tho, on his part. As for me, I was so nervous, I only know i really like him and would totally date him. This guy is in his 30s, Idk how to proceed Edited April 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 (edited) If you’re really attracted to him, what’s to lose to send him a follow-up text? Just let him know you had a great time and say something cute like “though I was a little nervous haha” I wouldn’t ask him out in the follow-up text though — see how he responds first if you’re the type who wouldn’t mind initiating so early. Personally I would let the man ask me out for the first 2-4 dates. Edited April 25, 2019 by JuneL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 a man should never ask for a kiss, total beta male behaviour 4 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 a man should never ask for a kiss, total beta male behaviour ^^^ This. Now that you mentioned, the guy could have suggested something instead of asking “where next?” Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lagoon1212 Posted April 25, 2019 Author Share Posted April 25, 2019 a man should never ask for a kiss, total beta male behaviour Honestly, he is a good looking, intelligent guy and seems very confident. But I might be wrong. He was married for few years and got divorced. Maybe he is inexperienced when it comes to dating but certainly doesn't seem that way. i just texted him thanking him for last night and told him i enjoyed getting to know him., No reply yet Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 Honestly, he is a good looking, intelligent guy and seems very confident. a man can be handsome and intelligent and seem confident yet still be a beta male Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lagoon1212 Posted April 25, 2019 Author Share Posted April 25, 2019 He replied yeah had fun too, thanks. wow, a way to be rejected Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 I'm glad you texted him thank you. In this modern world most men need that text as a way to judge interest. If they don't get that green light, then don't call. I'm sorry you didn't get the response you wanted but him saying "yeah I had fun too" is not a rejection. The whole end was more then a bit awkward. He probably truly feels like he blew it & now you pity him. There is a possibility that something about the aborted kiss was a problem you are not aware of. How is your breath & general dental hygiene? If you want to see him again be brave & you ask him out. Otherwise you will be left dithering 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lagoon1212 Posted April 25, 2019 Author Share Posted April 25, 2019 (edited) I dont think he was even able to smell my breath, he was kind of far away when he asked if he could kiss me, then he approached and hugged me quickly. I dont think I can ask him out again. I am sure this is a rejection on his part. Edited April 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 (edited) I agree that’s a no or low-interest text. I wouldn’t ask him out either. Edited April 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa_Lisa Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 I think that you should focus your thoughts on other things. Let this guy reach out to you when he is ready or ready to ask you out again. If you feel like you have to text a hello, thanks, how are you today, or anything else to remind him you're alive, you're always going to feel like less than. Ball's in his court now and if he doesn't text then so be it. You're beautiful, attractive, confident, and can attract a man better than this one. Stop making excuses for him. Stop analyzing him. If he wants you, he knows he has to ask you out. And if he doesn't he wasn't all that into it in the first place. When a man truly wants a woman, nothing will stop him. Let him be. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lagoon1212 Posted April 25, 2019 Author Share Posted April 25, 2019 (edited) That is the problem, I thought that he really was into me, he was bugging our mutual friend about me... but I thought I looked nice when he saw me first time. Recently, I got a haircut, my hair looks too thin and weird, and I just feel like he wasnt attracted to me anymore. I dont know if anyone is this weird about their appearance as I am. Now I feel superugly Edited April 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa_Lisa Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 (edited) Be careful about how you talk about yourself. If you think your hair looks thin and weird and feel like he isn't attracted to you then he will reflect that back to you according to your own beliefs, vibes, aura. You're emitting those "I feel ugly" vibes, he'll pick up on it and confirm it back to you. Never bring yourself down. Tell yourself you're beautiful every single day and I guarantee you, you will have men eyeing you walking down the street, smiling at you and looking you in the eye, wanting to talk to you. Be mindful not to emit negative vibes or your world will reflect negativity back to you. Once you tell yourself over and over again how beautiful you are, you will believe it because it's true and then this guy will show up again and will reflect back how beautiful he thinks you are. It all starts with you. If you think you are, you will be. Edited April 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 Finally, we went out last night. And thats it, no texts nothing. If it was just last night you went out, aren't you jumping the gun a bit? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lagoon1212 Posted April 25, 2019 Author Share Posted April 25, 2019 If it was just last night you went out, aren't you jumping the gun a bit? Yes but he was texting before the date. For example, earlier yesterday he texted to confirm the date. then he said he was tired and feels like napping (just talking about his job) and then he said looking forward to meeting you tonight. So he didn't text too much, too often but he kept in touch with more than just one text. This morning reply though was really quick and dry and honestly, it sounds like he did it on purpose so he doesnt get my hopes high. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 Honestly, he is a good looking, intelligent guy and seems very confident. But I might be wrong. He was married for few years and got divorced. Maybe he is inexperienced when it comes to dating but certainly doesn't seem that way. i just texted him thanking him for last night and told him i enjoyed getting to know him., No reply yet Okay, now I'm baffled. I thought he was a near-virgin. But he's a divorcee, so he shouldn't be this awkward. So now I'm thinking that yes, the posters who said "Where next," he was hoping for "My place" and not sure why he fumbled on the kiss. Probably thinks things were just too awkward, OR he's mad you didn't just ask him over for sex. Sooooo, I'm not sure I would follow up with this guy, because I don't see the point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lagoon1212 Posted April 25, 2019 Author Share Posted April 25, 2019 (edited) Honestly, it was such a quick "can i kiss you" the next second he gives me a quick hug and walks to his car. Now, i am starting to think that "can I kiss you" was just in my head. But I heard it and even replied to it Edited April 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 ^ Just weird. Link to post Share on other sites
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