Author krystalviolin Posted February 17, 2019 Author Share Posted February 17, 2019 Um, i think i need to clarify something. I go to that town at least once a week anyway. for musical lessons. and he does too. just two days ago we realized that we were both there but i had already gone home. going to that town is not a problem. and he is an okay guy, he is a classical musician. i would just have to go there another time or stay longer after lessons. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krystalviolin Posted February 17, 2019 Author Share Posted February 17, 2019 And if you do go, DON'T do anything foolish (like having sex with and getting pregnant) which will ruin ALL your plans of going to med school, etc. I can see this guy trying to talk you into it because it will be 'your only chance since you both live so far away.' Don't fall for that if he pulls it. but if one always thinks like that, how do you ever get a boyfriend? a boyfriend that is not already your friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krystalviolin Posted February 17, 2019 Author Share Posted February 17, 2019 his date suggestions by the way were: eat at a boat restaurant kinda thing and/or go running around the river. (we talked about how much we love running) Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Running you will be all sweaty and gross. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krystalviolin Posted February 17, 2019 Author Share Posted February 17, 2019 (edited) i didn't ask for your opinion on THAT. I actually think it would be really cool and less awkward than sitting across from each other like in a job interview Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 but if one always thinks like that, how do you ever get a boyfriend? a boyfriend that is not already your friend. You can get a boyfriend without having sex. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 What about tennis? You can at least look at each other, tease and have friendly banter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krystalviolin Posted February 18, 2019 Author Share Posted February 18, 2019 You can get a boyfriend without having sex. yeah yeah i know! that's not what i meant. i'm looking for fun social interactions with him (sounds weird i know) but i feel like that could help me. anyhow, what i meant was: how do you date if you're constantly THAT careful and scared as you described. I mean he seems nice and to find out if he really is I'm gonna meet him once ?*♀️ Link to post Share on other sites
Author krystalviolin Posted February 18, 2019 Author Share Posted February 18, 2019 What about tennis? You can at least look at each other, tease and have friendly banter. not a bad idea! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 Do not lie to your parents about this. Since you go to the town anyway for music lessons, will you have enough time to travel, attend your lesson, see him & then get home? While running might be fun & feel less awkward for you because you will both be active, it does present logistical challenges. If you go running, how will you talk? When you finish running & you are sweaty & gross, are you going to be comfortable traveling 2 hours home in those clothes? Where will you keep your instrument & your stuff while you are running? Playing tennis will have additional logistical problems. Where will you keep your racket while you are practicing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krystalviolin Posted February 18, 2019 Author Share Posted February 18, 2019 (edited) okay, WHAT we're doing on the date is actually not what primarily concerns me right now so please don't make me panick. and I've already decided to tell my parents as soon as we have a date. Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 I'm not trying to make you panic. I'm glad you will tell your parents. You mom may have some suggestions for ideas. What is concerning you? I get it. Dating is scary & there is so much pressure on young people. We've all been there. How can we allay your fears? Primarily I think you can just be yourself, but the best version of yourself and stay true to the values your parents instilled in you. If a boy is pressuring you, he's not the guy for you. For example if a guy says "if you loved me you would ____ [whatever it is you don't want to do, especially sex]" remember if he loved you he wouldn't press you to do things you are not ready for 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author krystalviolin Posted February 19, 2019 Author Share Posted February 19, 2019 (edited) he doesn't pressure me at all. In fact, he Always tells me to not feel pressured whenever I try to figure out a day where I have time to meet him. Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Why can't he plan a proper date, come to you meet your parents, then take you out? It seems you're doing all the work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krystalviolin Posted February 19, 2019 Author Share Posted February 19, 2019 (edited) why does it seem I'm doing all the work? we will set a date in the next week and then I'll see how he plans it. Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Don't you have to travel to see him? He should travel to see you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Don't you have to travel to see him? He should travel to see you. As I understand it, they live fairly far apart. The OP is already traveling to this other place closer to the guy because she has a music lesson. Expecting a teenaged boy to travel 3+ hours each way is unreasonable. This was sort of a meet in the middle thing 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author krystalviolin Posted February 19, 2019 Author Share Posted February 19, 2019 Don't you have to travel to see him? He should travel to see you. We BOTH have to travel. We meet in the middle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 I still think it too far to travel alone. It would be safer for you to have someone to travel there with you but they would end up being a 3rd wheel. Why can't you date guys who live closer? Link to post Share on other sites
Author krystalviolin Posted February 21, 2019 Author Share Posted February 21, 2019 I still think it too far to travel alone. It would be safer for you to have someone to travel there with you but they would end up being a 3rd wheel. Why can't you date guys who live closer? i go there all the time alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krystalviolin Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 So we finally have a date. Next week on Friday in a boat restaurant in that town "between us". I am really looking forward to it. Can you guys give me some first date tips if you have any? Link to post Share on other sites
Author krystalviolin Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 so we have a date next week on friday in a boat restaurant. You guys have any tips for a first date? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Dress comfortably but in something that makes you feel beautiful, not too sexy. You can assume he's paying but have enough money with you to pay for the whole date if you have to. Order something that is easy to eat & not messy. A first date is not the time to be fussing to get crab out of a shell, twirling spaghetti on your fork or dealing with sticky ribs. Listen more then you talk. Ask open ended questions rather than yes or no questions. Don't interview the other person; be willing to open up a little about yourself but a date is not a therapy session; it's not the time to divulge every fear or mistake. Stick to neutral non controversial topics. Have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
Author krystalviolin Posted February 27, 2019 Author Share Posted February 27, 2019 Thanks for the advice! Link to post Share on other sites
Author krystalviolin Posted February 27, 2019 Author Share Posted February 27, 2019 So I have a date with this guy in 9 days. May I flirt a little with him over text until then? What are your opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
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