fred123 Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 do you forgive them or not? i had a situation previously where a girl was coming round to mine on the 4th date for dinner and watch a movie together. she ended up cancelling one hour before the date saying she was tired. some posters said to believe she was tired and also that it was the firwt private date and maybe i was looking for sex. but in hindsight that is unforgivaeable. if the guy is making dinner for the girl and already made plans and yes after 4 dates wats wrong with a bit of privacy and intimacy. i think people who csncel for stupid reasons like being tired shows low interest regardless of them apologising and wanting to rescedule 1
alphamale Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 dude she wasn't that into you. if she had high interest she probably would have taken your invite 3
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 It's unforgivable that she may have changed her mind about being ready to be alone in an apartment with you with expected intimacy? OK. She probably dodged a bullet if this is your mindset. 3
frus69 Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 Sometimes people want to show the best of themselves for you, especially at the early stage of dating. so yes they may cancel when they are tired or sick. Because they do not want you to see them looking ****/ not glamorous. If she apologised and rescheduled, I don't see why not give them another chance. If a guy is tired, sleep deprived, sick or anything like that, i wouldn't want to waste a date and would rather them reschedule. Nothing worse than a low energy boring date.
TheFinalWord Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 An hour before? For being tired? That's pretty disrespectful. If she was worried about things moving too fast, that is understandable. But she should have brought that up earlier. I wouldn't tell her off or anything, but the only thing I would accept is her picking up take out and bringing it to my house on the next date. I wouldn't take her out and I wouldn't make dinner again. 2
alphamale Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 take all the food you cooked and put it down her mailbox 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 the only thing I would accept is her picking up take out and bringing it to my house on the next date. She owes him nothing. 1
Rayce Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 Dinner at a guys house early on... sounds like maybe she got scared for some reason. 1
alphamale Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 Dinner at a guys house early on... sounds like maybe she got scared for some reason. and invite for dinner at home is not an uncommon request for date #4
Author fred123 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Posted January 29, 2019 so when is a reaosanable time to cook dinner for a girl? i think the 4th date is ok no? didnt seem to have an issue with it before. and to cancel an hour before when iv already bought the ingredients for dinner and started cooking? 1
Author fred123 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Posted January 29, 2019 It's unforgivable that she may have changed her mind about being ready to be alone in an apartment with you with expected intimacy? OK. She probably dodged a bullet if this is your mindset. ok lets do this your way. you ask a guy to come round one evening and you cook for him. he says yes. an hour or so before hand he tells you he is tired and wants to stay at home and cant be bothered to leave the house. yh im sure you would be understanding now 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 so when is a reaosanable time to cook dinner for a girl? i think the 4th date is ok no? Not unreasonable, but she's also allowed to change her mind. Maybe she said yes originally but really was regretting saying yes.
TheFinalWord Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 She owes him nothing. And neither does he. But it's called basic human respect. 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 yh im sure you would be understanding now Actually I live for canceled plans, so I'd be totally fine with this lol. I have a refrigerator for the leftovers.
Author fred123 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Posted January 29, 2019 It's unforgivable that she may have changed her mind about being ready to be alone in an apartment with you with expected intimacy? OK. She probably dodged a bullet if this is your mindset. also if she changed her mind it means shes not into me. a girl who has high interest wouldnt mind getting intimate with a guy they are into
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 And neither does he. But it's called basic human respect. Yes, she should have showed more respect and should have canceled long before the one hour mark. That doesn't mean she HAS to go to his apartment on the next day like she owes that to him. He also can decide she was too rude in not giving enough notice and he doesn't wish to see her again because of it.
TheFinalWord Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 and invite for dinner at home is not an uncommon request for date #4 That and she knew well before an hour she was going to cancel. She has no respect for OP. 1
frus69 Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 ok lets do this your way. you ask a guy to come round one evening and you cook for him. he says yes. an hour or so before hand he tells you he is tired and wants to stay at home and cant be bothered to leave the house. yh im sure you would be understanding now But if he apologised and counter offer I would give him anoyjrt chance.
TheFinalWord Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 Yes, she should have showed more respect and should have canceled long before the one hour mark. That doesn't mean she HAS to go to his apartment on the next day like she owes that to him. He also can decide she was too rude in not giving enough notice and he doesn't wish to see her again because of it. I 100% agree with the first sentence. I never said she owed him the date? I'm not sure we are disagreeing about anything?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 also if she changed her mind it means shes not into me. That's probably true.
Author fred123 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Posted January 29, 2019 Actually I live for canceled plans, so I'd be totally fine with this lol. I have a refrigerator for the leftovers. its easy for you to say because you are a girl and dont have to ask or pursue the opposite sex like we do. trycooking dinner for a girl every 4th date for her to give a lousy excuse and cancel. and whats wrong with wanting some alone time with the girl you like?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 I 100% agree with the first sentence. I never said she owed him the date? I'm not sure we are disagreeing about anything? You said you would only accept her picking up food and having a date in his apartment (paraphrasing). Would not take her out. Like she owes him an in-apartment "date" or something. Maybe she's not ready.
Author fred123 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Posted January 29, 2019 That's probably true. well shes not gonna admit that is she? lol so no point in reschduling even if she says she wants to 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 whats wrong with wanting some alone time with the girl you like? Absolutely nothing if she wants it too. Never said you were wrong for wanting that.
frus69 Posted January 29, 2019 Posted January 29, 2019 also if she changed her mind it means shes not into me. a girl who has high interest wouldnt mind getting intimate with a guy they are into Not sure about that. Apparently some girls prefer to take it slowwww because moving too fast means the guy will bail soon too. In your particular case though, she probably wasn't into you.
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