JuneL Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Where is your husband in all this? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 What an absolute horrible situation you have. I don't care much for your husband's sister either. By the way, what did her husband do when your husband called her a cheater in front of her husband? Link to post Share on other sites
40somethingGuy Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 I really think I've made a huge mistake. I'm so confused. I keep making up my mind and then changing, then changing back. I just wanted to walk away from it all and start again but circumstance has dragged me back in. I don't know whether I'm being the bigger person or just being walked all over. What's happened is that my best friends husband snapped. He's in jail now. He beat her so badly she was in an induced coma. I couldn't help myself. I rushed to the hospital and stayed at her bedside. I don't want her dead. She didn't deserve this. She's going to be ok but the thought of losing her rocked me. Now I'm stuck between hating her for what she did to me and just wanting to hold he because I want my best friend back and right now she needs me. I sound pathetic. Even typing this I realize it. I just can't stop it. I know this is not really related to the infidelity so if it needs to be moved to another area can someone do that? I'm not really wanting any advice, I just wanted to get it off my chest. I'm too embarrassed to tell my friends and family that don't know that I'm caring for the person who destroyed my marriage. The ones that already know pretty much all think I'm a fool. A couple say they understand as her and I were so close. I guess life wasn't meant to be easy. And when you're a sucker like me well it just makes it all the more harder. Feeling pretty lousy about that. If the OM from my WWs affair had a stroke and died I would literally have sperm flooding my pants without even touching myself. She made her bed. It is her H's problem he went off the deep end. She is a horrible person and not your problem. Of course you don't want toxic people to die you just want them dead to you. He wouldn't be in jail in some countries. I can understand how you feel but this isn't your fault and you don't need to rush to the bedside of someone who has lived a lie for years betraying you while masquerading as your BFF. Your hands are clean. I just hope you can move away from the slime pit of people around you. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Step way back from ALL the drama that’s happening.... That will allow you to think a bit easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 I really think I've made a huge mistake. I'm so confused. I keep making up my mind and then changing, then changing back. I just wanted to walk away from it all and start again but circumstance has dragged me back in. I don't know whether I'm being the bigger person or just being walked all over. What's happened is that my best friends husband snapped. He's in jail now. He beat her so badly she was in an induced coma. I couldn't help myself. I rushed to the hospital and stayed at her bedside. I don't want her dead. She didn't deserve this. She's going to be ok but the thought of losing her rocked me. Now I'm stuck between hating her for what she did to me and just wanting to hold he because I want my best friend back and right now she needs me. I sound pathetic. Even typing this I realize it. I just can't stop it. I know this is not really related to the infidelity so if it needs to be moved to another area can someone do that? I'm not really wanting any advice, I just wanted to get it off my chest. I'm too embarrassed to tell my friends and family that don't know that I'm caring for the person who destroyed my marriage. The ones that already know pretty much all think I'm a fool. A couple say they understand as her and I were so close. I guess life wasn't meant to be easy. And when you're a sucker like me well it just makes it all the more harder. Feeling pretty lousy about that. This is what I posted previously about your behavior: "You have been and will continue to be the full measure of that person with qualities neither of them will ever own. You're not really naive or blind in this story. You have the greater story. You own the greater potential and the ability to be a person worthy of more than they could ever muster." - ..and again you continue to demonstrate this. You're not a sucker. You're a person of compassion. Right now you're simply caught in a catch-22 between your own integrity and the heinous dysfunction of people who deceived you. You went to her bedside because that's what people of high moral character do. They do the right thing even in the midst of terrible pain, not even knowing if it IS the right thing but, feeling in their heart that it is the compassionate thing to do. You didn't get compassion from the people around you and so, what your heart tells you to do feels out of place. But you are being exactly who you need to be and true to yourself. It's still important for you to get away from these dysfunctional people but, you can do it on your terms, to your standards, and on your timeline. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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