Still no dates.

[Garcon1986]

Then I suggest you emulate Neil DeGrasse Tyson a little bit?

 

Your immediate social circle of single women are likely looking for excitement. It comes in many forms, but the reason I bring up Dr Tyson is because he's just a physics professor - but he outshines any other university professor I know because he's just so excited about it. I would suggest training that aspect of your social skills, and then write down a few flirting conversations with women you have and share them with us next week. He's calm and collected - but he is such a good presenter that he is the first physics professor I ever heard of described as sexy.

[LightWave93]

then write down a few flirting conversations with women you have and share them with us next week.

 

That's going to be difficult given how much of my social circle and opportunities I've exhausted by now.

 

I'm passionate about what I do and generally convey enthusiastic. There's always room for improvement.

[elaine567]

I looked at the pics and the video and there is nothing obviously off putting there, so unless in real life you are a sweary, offensive loud mouthed yob, then I am not too sure what the problem is.

You do however look like husband/father material to me.

Maybe you are just pitching at the wrong type of girls?

[LightWave93]

You do however look like husband/father material to me.

 

So the guy that women simply settle for? Great.

[Garcon1986]

You'll have to travel just a little further to a social circle you haven't been in before. You've checked a lot of good boxes old chap.

 

This is probably the last thing I can think of that could be turning women off.

 

When you last asked a woman out in real life, what specifically did she tell you?

[elaine567]

So the guy that women simply settle for? Great.

 

 

No.

Solid, decent, intelligent, good looking, nice, friendly, the all round good guy.

 

Which is exactly what some women are looking for.

BUT if your taste in women is a tad wilder then you may be seen by them as being "too nice".

[Garcon1986]

Being told you are husband material is a compliment old chap

[LightWave93]

No.

Solid, decent, intelligent, good looking, nice, friendly, the all round good guy.

 

Which is exactly what some women are looking for.

BUT if your taste in women is a tad wilder then you may be seen by them as being "too nice".

 

Being told you are husband material is a compliment old chap

 

I find it difficult to perceive "husband / father-type" as a compliment because that implies that my value is only present when I'm older, precisely at a time where I'll have more material resources and when the more, shall we say, "attractive" men become less available.

 

I've already decided that past the age of 30, I won't date or engage in sexual relationships with women. I'd like to think "Solid, decent, intelligent, good looking, nice, friendly, the all round good guy" are qualities I possess and put me in a positive position now, so only having my value recognized later on in life is not a pleasant idea to me.

 

Besides, I want sex / dating whilst I'm young, IE. Now.

[Garcon1986]

Then what about signing up for a matchmaking service rather than a dating service?

[LightWave93]

Then what about signing up for a matchmaking service rather than a dating service?

 

There's a difference?

 

I believe I've mentioned before, but I've tried every popular site available; POF, OkCupid, Tinder, Bumble, CoffeeMeetsBagel, Hinge, Happn, changin up my profile to represent casual sex, casual dating or long-term. Nothing. Even tried some sex-specific sites, Fetish sites (*shudder*), still no luck.

[Garcon1986]

Matchmaking services have staff read your profile and specifically set up dates for you with people who they think might be compatible. The difference is the human element in picking your matches.

[alphamale]

Then what about signing up for a matchmaking service rather than a dating service?

 

too expensive man

[Garcon1986]

If it's too expensive then start browsing some of the other extracurricular clubs your university has to offer.

[LightWave93]

Matchmaking services have staff read your profile and specifically set up dates for you with people who they think might be compatible. The difference is the human element in picking your matches.

 

I would imagine these services are few-and-far between, and aimed towards older folk.

 

It's unfortunate it appears my own means of finding romance or sex is by going through such services. Most people my age don't have this issue.

 

If it's too expensive then start browsing some of the other extracurricular clubs your university has to offer.

 

I have done. No luck.

[Garcon1986]

You've browsed every single university student association?

[LightWave93]

You've browsed every single university student association?

 

I've not been to every one of them, no, but not all take my interest (and I'm not going to places exclusively to pick up women; that's sleazy and wouldn't work anyway), nor do I have the time.

 

I work full-time as a teacher (so, extra hours outside 9-3), study / assignments, gym, dance, see friends etc.

 

EDIT:

 

Getting the feeling escorts or porn are my only options.

[Garcon1986]

You haven't explored moving to another part of the UK after your studies are done eh?

[LightWave93]

You haven't explored moving to another part of the UK after your studies are done eh?

 

I perhaps will do, it depends on where I can get a job. The problem is, I've also done things like change my location on Tinder, OkCupid etc to somewhere like London, and still no luck.

[edgygirl]

Great feedback from Mrs._December. I was going to tell you to send me the link but now we know you're handsome and vibrant as you mentioned yourself so that's not the issue. She's right in that you must be lacking some self awareness and behaving or saying things that turn women off. I think it would be super helpful to see a transliterated exchange of talks you've had with women you tried to date. Maybe go back online and come back here in a while with more information for us. Of course in that case we cannot read your body language, but at least we will know if it's the words per se.

 

Of course the sentence below is fine, but I prefer when men give me a couple of options as in: I would love to meet you. Are you available this week? When would be the best days? // Of course you can always say something like - End of the week works better for me.

 

The moment I suggest a meet ("Let's go for a drink on Tuesday, 9pm?"), they stop responding. Unless you're telling me the aforementioned sentence in brackets is a major turn-off, then I can't possibly tell you what I'm doing wrong.[]

[edgygirl]

Hmmm Now it makes sense. He's the good guy type.

 

Funny thing is so many young women here complain they can't find a serious guy for a longterm committed relationship. Where are these girls? Maybe not on dating sites. Maybe join some organization that interests you as in - political activism, or a religious one, science club, anything YOU are interested in, so you can find like minded souls and meet this kind of girls?

 

[]

ps: As you OP I'm also on fetish sites and I never accept any invitation from men there, it just seems too creepy.

 

No.

Solid, decent, intelligent, good looking, nice, friendly, the all round good guy.

 

Which is exactly what some women are looking for.

BUT if your taste in women is a tad wilder then you may be seen by them as being "too nice".

Edited January 6, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Topical content

[William]

Having redacted a number of posts not conforming to Loveshack policy on privacy, here's some advice....and a directive.

 

If you want to contact a member privately to get a picture, or learn more about them, or flirt with them, any established member can do that using our private message system. All members in that meta discussion, save for one, are established. Press that 'send message' button and chat away. Leave the public forums for the topic. Thanks!

[edgygirl]

Fair enough William but it's the OP who asked openly in the thread who wants to see a picture/video to try to help him with his original post. It's not about flirting...

[LightWave93]

I was going to say, no one's flirted with me.

 

Great feedback from Mrs._December. I was going to tell you to send me the link but now we know you're handsome and vibrant as you mentioned yourself so that's not the issue. She's right in that you must be lacking some self awareness and behaving or saying things that turn women off. I think it would be super helpful to see a transliterated exchange of talks you've had with women you tried to date. Maybe go back online and come back here in a while with more information for us. Of course in that case we cannot read your body language, but at least we will know if it's the words per se.

 

Of course the sentence below is fine, but I prefer when men give me a couple of options as in: I would love to meet you. Are you available this week? When would be the best days? // Of course you can always say something like - End of the week works better for me.

 

I already said I was attractive! LOL!

 

I have conversations I can show you, with several girls on Reddit, but this isn't potential dates. Would that do?

 

I've tried all sorts of ways to ask for a date. Same result every time.

 

Hmmm Now it makes sense. He's the good guy type.

 

Funny thing is so many young women here complain they can't find a serious guy for a longterm committed relationship. Where are these girls? Maybe not on dating sites. Maybe join some organization that interests you as in - political activism, or a religious one, science club, anything YOU are interested in, so you can find like minded souls and meet this kind of girls?

 

[]

ps: As you OP I'm also on fetish sites and I never accept any invitation from men there, it just seems too creepy.

 

I've done lots of activities that interest me, not to get women. No luck!

[PRW]

Can we please stop throwing any ol' rubbish at the wall, hoping it sticks?

How? That is all that can be done. You haven't given anyone anything to work with. You just basically say "nothing is wrong with me,...everyone agrees there is nothing wrong with me, so what is wrong?".

, and the more we drag on with this...the less help I'm going to receive.

Help with what? The problem hasn't even been discovered.

 

However the defensive attitude you are beginning to show,...could actually be the problem. Women are going to pick up on that as soon as they are around you. If you create a "Woe is me, I can't get a date" atmosphere around you, that will shoot you down.

 

If you give me something to work with, I'll respond. Otherwise this is my last post in the thread.

[LightWave93]

How? That is all that can be done. You haven't given anyone anything to work with. You just basically say "nothing is wrong with me,...everyone agrees there is nothing wrong with me, so what is wrong?". Help with what? The problem hasn't even been discovered.

 

However the defensive attitude you are beginning to show,...could actually be the problem. Women are going to pick up on that as soon as they are around you. If you create a "Woe is me, I can't get a date" atmosphere around you, that will shoot you down.

 

If you give me something to work with, I'll respond. Otherwise this is my last post in the thread.

 

You all say I'm lying, or friends are lying, or people on the internet are lying. Then three people here confirm I'm not Quasdimodo, that I appear to be normal, have a personality etc. Forgive me for being irritated at the lack of any progress or being out to be someone I'm not.

 

There's plenty of information in the thread, details which I've repeated throughout the years but have constantly been disputed on this forum.

 

How about you simply take my word for it that I've tried A and B, that I've been told X and Y, and we can start working towards a solution instead of questioning the given?