Garcon1986 Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 Remind us what happened the last time you took a woman friend along to analyze the situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 5, 2019 Author Share Posted January 5, 2019 Remind us what happened the last time you took a woman friend along to analyze the situation? Along what? I simply chill with my female friends in normal situations and then they've witnessed me interacting with their friends, cashiers, women we meet on a night out etc. We don't go out with the intention for me to interact with women for the sole purpose of observation, and I believe that would be ineffective anyway as it wouldn't be authentic. One female friend describes me as a "lady's man". Another said that I don't realize how attractive I am. Yet another said I don't notice when girls are into me (which is really odd, given the circumstances). I had another holding onto my arm one night saying that even though we'd just met, she felt very comfortable around me. Not once have they said I come across as weird, creepy etc, and if I was then I doubt they'd have become my friends in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 do you know how to physically escalate within the comfort levels of your date, so the woman doesn't just assume you want to be buddy buddy? Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 Now I am thinking you might appear intimidating and be a turn off to many women... I run from men who seem to be ladie's men. It's the same with beautiful women who say men don't hit on them. Along what? I simply chill with my female friends in normal situations and then they've witnessed me interacting with their friends, cashiers, women we meet on a night out etc. We don't go out with the intention for me to interact with women for the sole purpose of observation, and I believe that would be ineffective anyway as it wouldn't be authentic. One female friend describes me as a "lady's man". Another said that I don't realize how attractive I am. Yet another said I don't notice when girls are into me (which is really odd, given the circumstances). I had another holding onto my arm one night saying that even though we'd just met, she felt very comfortable around me. Not once have they said I come across as weird, creepy etc, and if I was then I doubt they'd have become my friends in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 5, 2019 Author Share Posted January 5, 2019 do you know how to physically escalate within the comfort levels of your date, so the woman doesn't just assume you want to be buddy buddy? I'm not getting dates. Now I am thinking you might appear intimidating and be a turn off to many women... I run from men who seem to be ladie's men. It's the same with beautiful women who say men don't hit on them. Most of my friends are women, sure, but I usually hang out in a mixed group and I believe it's clear I'm not dating any of my friends. That, and it doesn't appear to stop women approaching other men in a similar social situation to myself. Also, I believe I've mentioned this before, but the attractiveness of my female friends are usually average or below. For whatever reason I have no relationship with any particularly attractive women; never have, aside from one ex who was an absolute bombshell (and no idea how I got her). Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 What is your approach to getting a new woman’s attention in your social life, what is written on your profile, and are you sure your photos are the most physically attractive versions of yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 I'm not getting dates. Most of my friends are women, sure, but I usually hang out in a mixed group and I believe it's clear I'm not dating any of my friends. That, and it doesn't appear to stop women approaching other men in a similar social situation to myself. Also, I believe I've mentioned this before, but the attractiveness of my female friends are usually average or below. For whatever reason I have no relationship with any particularly attractive women; never have, aside from one ex who was an absolute bombshell (and no idea how I got her). I thinking being the guy in a crowd of women is both a good and a bad thing because perhaps other women think you are taken and you don't perhaps get enough exposure because of that. Its good because you learn the interaction. Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 (edited) I think in the UK, women tend to be more reserved about meeting. Unless you're REALLY attractive or definitely their type. I know in some cases I've had girls say "Oh, I'd like to talk more first", but more often that not that just leads to them messing around and ghosting anyway. That's not my experience with British women and your statement below would also suggest otherwise. Third, I know plenty of girls that are dating / hooking up with men older than them, who are also at university. My ex-wife was from London, and I've been with other English and Scottish women and they were keen. Likewise my English first cousins also had no trouble finding women and that includes post divorce. While their kids who are your age, also have partners as well. I don't have much time to be asking out women (not that I come across many right now). Well considering the following. I have NEVER been approached by a woman in my life. As long as you don't ask women out (in-person) or attempt to hookup with them, for the most part you're going to keep getting the same results. If you ever want to get off the merry go round that you are on. You would probably do well to stop arguing against the idea that the old cliche. Of "if it keeps happening to you, it's you and not them", really does apply to you. Edited January 5, 2019 by 5x5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 5, 2019 Author Share Posted January 5, 2019 What is your approach to getting a new woman’s attention in your social life, what is written on your profile, and are you sure your photos are the most physically attractive versions of yourself? I talk to them. Although past a certain "level" of attractiveness, I don't bother. They definitely wouldn't want me. I don't have portfolio's at the moment, but when I did it would depend on the site. Tinder would have a few basic facts about me (interests, mostly), and a funny one liner (which I changed regularly). I had my photos rated; they were really good, apparently. Some of them were professionally shot. Happy to share them with you, if you wish. That's not my experience with British women and your statement below would also suggest otherwise. Our experiences may differ, it's as simple as that really. As long as you don't ask women out (in-person) or attempt to hookup with them, for the most part you're going to keep getting the same results. *scratches head* I do ask women out in-person, or attempt to hookup. They're not interested. And, the reverse of that is true also (as per normal_person's suggestion); going about my life, not making attempts, does not provide results either. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 Where I come from, being a 'ladies man' is not a compliment. It's akin to being a sleaze who loves all the ladies and settles with no-one. If this is the vibe you're giving off, it could be the problem. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 5, 2019 Author Share Posted January 5, 2019 It has actually occurred to me that I have a video of myself available if anyone wants me to PM them the link; as it was done for reasons outside this discussion, might help demonstrate my "true self". Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 It has actually occurred to me that I have a video of myself available if anyone wants me to PM them the link; as it was done for reasons outside this discussion, might help demonstrate my "true self". you can PM me the link as long as there is nothing immoral or illegal in it Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 Let's have a look old chap, as a former citizen of Oxfordshire, let's help a fellow Brit out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 6, 2019 Author Share Posted January 6, 2019 you can PM me the link as long as there is nothing immoral or illegal in it Let's have a look old chap, as a former citizen of Oxfordshire, let's help a fellow Brit out. I'll send now. Generic feedback here please, nothing identifiable. More specific can be sent as a PM reply. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 6, 2019 Author Share Posted January 6, 2019 you can PM me the link as long as there is nothing immoral or illegal in it Let's have a look old chap, as a former citizen of Oxfordshire, let's help a fellow Brit out. I'll send now. Generic feedback here please, nothing identifiable. More specific can be sent as a PM reply. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 nothing in my in-box Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 6, 2019 Author Share Posted January 6, 2019 Check again. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 Send the link please. I'm a woman and can tell you like it is - and will. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 Ooops .. double post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 6, 2019 Author Share Posted January 6, 2019 Sent. Garcon1986 got back to me; generally positive ("plenty to say", "good-looking"). Advice was to join more meetups (which I do already, being honest), ask out girls in person (which again, I do when I happen to meet someone), and that I have flat body language (this I will keep a note of and work on, although given the context of the video I'm not entirely sure that's an issue given previous feedback on my body language, but again...will keep an eye on this). Thanks dude! Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 Send me the link please. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 6, 2019 Author Share Posted January 6, 2019 I shall do. Just a polite reminder to all though, please for the love of everything keep this information private. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 Show us a conversation you've had with a potential date in real life. Not a dating profile one - rather, an interaction you've had completely in real life. There may be potential clues. Write down the conversation for us as close to line by line as you can. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 You're a handsome young man with a vibrant personality, but there's got to be something you're doing to scare off the ladies. I don't know what that could be, but perhaps you're giving off a cold vibe when you communicate with them? Or an insecure vibe? I used to do phone calls with guys off the dating site I was interested in meeting, to see if we got along ok just talking. If we did, then we set up a date to actually meet (usually for coffee or a drink). But I have to say, the guys who came off as cold or monotone or just plain disengaged in general, never got further than that phone call with me. Also, if I felt I had to carry the bulk of the conversation because he was too quiet or tongue-tied and I was doing most of the work, I made short work of that phone call and had no interest in meeting him in person. So there's a lot one can do to turn someone off without even realizing they've done it. NONE of those guys I turned down knew how bad they were coming across to me on the phone and I didn't have the heart to tell them. I just got off the phone quickly and scratched them off my list and when they reached out to me again, I just told them I didn't think we were a match and wished them luck. While you may be fun and engaged and full of life in your video, you may NOT be coming off that way with the ladies. Of course, I have no idea if that's true and I'm only guessing, but if they're flaking on you after communicating with you, then it's most likely the way you're communicating with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 6, 2019 Author Share Posted January 6, 2019 (edited) While you may be fun and engaged and full of life in your video, you may NOT be coming off that way with the ladies. Of course, I have no idea if that's true and I'm only guessing, but if they're flaking on you after communicating with you, then it's most likely the way you're communicating with them. I couldn't tell you. I've been told I'm fun and interesting, "make me feel comfortable" etc, and I don't have any reason to believe people are lying to me as has been suggested on here before. I've mentioned I'm not the most boisterous of men, which is true, but calm and collected isn't exactly perceived a negative as far as I know. Also, just bear in mind; I've literally had it where women would have an interesting text conversation with me, respond enthusiastically etc and give me their number. The moment I suggest a meet ("Let's go for a drink on Tuesday, 9pm?"), they stop responding. Unless you're telling me the aforementioned sentence in brackets is a major turn-off, then I can't possibly tell you what I'm doing wrong. [] Edited January 6, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Hydra banned response cleanup Link to post Share on other sites
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