Did I come on too strong? [Updated discussion]

[sabaton]

Yes it does make me feel that she tosses guys away but she complains about it and guys to that same to her.

Yeah, and?

 

The fact that she's complaining means that she isn't enjoying what she does? I met a girl and my group of friends befriended her. We start spending time together, and then she's complaining to my friend's girlfriend that some dude she grew up with came up to her and said, ''listen, I want to hook-up with you. I'm not interested in dating you, and if you are not interested in that it's cool with me.''

 

 

What she said to my friend's girlfriend was something along these lines:

 

''Seriously? Just like that? wants to hook-up with me and nothing else?''

 

By the tone of her voice and her facial expressions, you'd think she was hurt. But a month or so later she got horny and hooked-up with the guy, even though the terms he discussed were still the same, and they didn't change.

 

What people say and what people do are 2 completely different matters, and there's lots of girls out there that enjoy attention and validation from men they have no interest in.

 

I've only ever approached a girl in my life, and that was 10 years ago+ back in college. I looked at her and that ass just wouldn't quit, and she was pretty much my dream girl, a Portuguese Kim Kardashian clone, so I did approach her, and she rejected me indirectly saying that she wouldn't go to the movies with me because she has someone she goes to the movies often(that's her hint, telling me she has a boyfriend).

 

So I smiled, shifted the conversation and from that moment on I never spoke to her, because I would get blue balls everytime I'd look at her, and it was very uncomfortable to be near her, but then one day I missed class and I happened to ask the girl who was next to me about the class, and as it turned out it was the girl herself lol.

 

She threw a massive tantrum complaining in front of our classmates that I had been ignoring her for 3 full weeks and on, and on, and I was just smiling and laughing as she was very indignant about it.

 

Bottom line is - there's a huge number of hot chicks, especially girls your age and younger than you who are addicted to male attention and will pursue it as much as a porn star pursues viagra.

 

It's never ending and she wishes she could do things to change that. Meaning she wants casual sex. I will take your advice and hit on her.

haha, yes, that's what they all say. ''Guys keep using me.''

 

''I can't seem to find a nice guy(like you) to treat me right, and to be my boyfreind.''

 

''I want a relationship but guys keep lying to me and then I never heard about them ever again.''

 

If she wants to be my friend I'm fine with that too, but since she wants casual sex I'm in on it... I just have to make a move

Then make the move already?

 

Become her friends with benefits. You get to have sex with a hot 18 year old that looks like she knows how to bang, and you don't have to deal with the dramas and obligations and responsabilities that comes with being a girl's boyfriend.

[d0nnivain]

She's not interested in relationship if you have seen my last post. I have to be in the hook up culture with her and make it clear that she could come to me anytime for casual sex.

 

I'll ask her now and see what she replies. My plan is to eat dinner and then watch movies

 

You are not wired this way & you have this girl so far up on a pedestal that when she moves on from you to the next guy, it will crush you.

 

You best skip her altogether & find a nice girl you can have a romance with.

[Tagalz]

Yeah, and?

 

The fact that she's complaining means that she isn't enjoying what she does? I met a girl and my group of friends befriended her. We start spending time together, and then she's complaining to my friend's girlfriend that some dude she grew up with came up to her and said, ''listen, I want to hook-up with you. I'm not interested in dating you, and if you are not interested in that it's cool with me.''

 

 

What she said to my friend's girlfriend was something along these lines:

 

''Seriously? Just like that? wants to hook-up with me and nothing else?''

 

By the tone of her voice and her facial expressions, you'd think she was hurt. But a month or so later she got horny and hooked-up with the guy, even though the terms he discussed were still the same, and they didn't change.

 

What people say and what people do are 2 completely different matters, and there's lots of girls out there that enjoy attention and validation from men they have no interest in.

 

I've only ever approached a girl in my life, and that was 10 years ago+ back in college. I looked at her and that ass just wouldn't quit, and she was pretty much my dream girl, a Portuguese Kim Kardashian clone, so I did approach her, and she rejected me indirectly saying that she wouldn't go to the movies with me because she has someone she goes to the movies often(that's her hint, telling me she has a boyfriend).

 

So I smiled, shifted the conversation and from that moment on I never spoke to her, because I would get blue balls everytime I'd look at her, and it was very uncomfortable to be near her, but then one day I missed class and I happened to ask the girl who was next to me about the class, and as it turned out it was the girl herself lol.

 

She threw a massive tantrum complaining in front of our classmates that I had been ignoring her for 3 full weeks and on, and on, and I was just smiling and laughing as she was very indignant about it.

 

Bottom line is - there's a huge number of hot chicks, especially girls your age and younger than you who are addicted to male attention and will pursue it as much as a porn star pursues viagra.

 

haha, yes, that's what they all say. ''Guys keep using me.''

 

''I can't seem to find a nice guy(like you) to treat me right, and to be my boyfreind.''

 

''I want a relationship but guys keep lying to me and then I never heard about them ever again.''

 

Then make the move already?

 

Become her friends with benefits. You get to have sex with a hot 18 year old that looks like she knows how to bang, and you don't have to deal with the dramas and obligations and responsabilities that comes with being a girl's boyfriend.

 

That was a nice story there, but do you think it would work if I just said straight away to her like "I want to be your friends with benefits"?

 

Well making a move in the cinemas? She's a big harry potter fan so I don't she would make a move back though... it would have to be at my house again or when we are alone

[d0nnivain]

That was a nice story there, but do you think it would work if I just said straight away to her like "I want to be your friends with benefits"?

 

Well making a move in the cinemas? She's a big harry potter fan so I don't she would make a move back though... it would have to be at my house again or when we are alone

 

No asking for FWB would be insulting. She sees herself as the GF type which is why she doesn't understand why she can't keep a BF.

 

Do try to kiss her at the movie. Then you can go home & do whatever.

[Tagalz]

You are not wired this way & you have this girl so far up on a pedestal that when she moves on from you to the next guy, it will crush you.

 

You best skip her altogether & find a nice girl you can have a romance with.

 

If I'm her friends with benefits I have to endure it... it's a part of the culture.

 

agree If I had dated a girl at my age things would go better, but overall I don't think it's my fault. It's about age difference between me and her. It's clearly that she wants hook up while I want a long term relationship. Only thing that is my fault is that I need to not get attached too easily

[sabaton]

She's not interested in relationship if you have seen my last post. I have to be in the hook up culture with her and make it clear that she could come to me anytime for casual sex.

You make it sound like the situation you're in is like pulling teeth at the dentist do you know how many guys would love to be in your situation? Just enjoy it man, don't try to turn it into an exclusive relationship because she ain't looking for that.

 

I'll ask her now and see what she replies. My plan is to eat dinner and then watch movies

1)Invite her to your place/her parent's house if they aren't there.

2)Have sex with her.

3)Have dinner with her and then go watch a movie.

[Tagalz]

She sees herself as the GF type which is why she doesn't understand why she can't keep a BF.

 

Do try to kiss her at the movie. Then you can go home & do whatever.

 

She can't keep a BF because she likes to hook up and she enjoys that. If she realises that she had to stop hooking up, then she could have a BF.

 

Well... then I can't ask her on a tuesday because she would say that she can't come home to me because she has school the next day.

 

Okey so here's what I'm thinking: It's saturday, we eat dinner and then watch movies. After the movie I ask her to come home to me and spend the night. How does this sound?

[Tagalz]

 

1)Invite her to your place/her parent's house if they aren't there.

2)Have sex with her.

3)Have dinner with her and then go watch a movie.

 

Well I just wrote the same thing but the opposite

[sabaton]

That was a nice story there, but do you think it would work if I just said straight away to her like "I want to be your friends with benefits"?

 

 

you don't straight up say stuff like that. Even if she's into casual sex, girls still want a semblance of romance and an illusion of being special. Just invite her to watch a movie with you, go out with her, watch an afternoon movie that allows you time to get back to your place and to cook dinner for her, if you really want to show off your cooking skills.

 

After that's done watch TV with her and then.. put your arm around her... then lean over and kiss her face...softly, gently at first.. then find your way to her lips. She's going to take it from there if you are shy.

[d0nnivain]

She can't keep a BF because she likes to hook up and she enjoys that. If she realises that she had to stop hooking up, then she could have a BF.

 

Well... then I can't ask her on a tuesday because she would say that she can't come home to me because she has school the next day.

 

Okey so here's what I'm thinking: It's saturday, we eat dinner and then watch movies. After the movie I ask her to come home to me and spend the night. How does this sound?

 

 

I know that & you know that but she doesn't know that. She thinks sex equal love so she has sex with these boys who view her as easy & therefore not GF material.

 

You are now expressing willingness to jump on that bandwagon to further exploit this girl who doesn't understand she is doing this to herself. I don't blame you. In your shoes most guys would take what she is offering but you are far too sensitive to be this crass. You are going to fall deeper for her & you are going to get hurt.

 

I do not mean that you should ask her to go out & spend time with you on Tuesday. I mean on Tuesday you should ask her to spend time with you on Friday . . . you know plan a date in advance rather then hooking up to hang out with no advanced notice.

 

Skip the dinner. Just go to the movie. Kiss her at the movie. Then ask her to come back to your house. At your house initiate making out. Move things into the bedroom but do not think that a 17 year old can spend the night. Her parents probably want her home, unless she made plans in advance which here she did not, she will have to go home.

 

BTW, FWB don't sleep over & cuddle. This is yet another indication that your plan is flawed. You are designing a romantic date & dreaming of spending the night with her in your arms. Nope. Too romantic. You are going to get your heart ripped out. She's not that kind of girl.

[Tagalz]

you don't straight up say stuff like that. Even if she's into casual sex, girls still want a semblance of romance and an illusion of being special. Just invite her to watch a movie with you, go out with her, watch an afternoon movie that allows you time to get back to your place and to cook dinner for her, if you really want to show off your cooking skills.

 

After that's done watch TV with her and then.. put your arm around her... then lean over and kiss her face...softly, gently at first.. then find your way to her lips. She's going to take it from there if you are shy.

 

Well I just did that 2 days ago. She came over, we cooked taco's and then watched a movies. While watching a movie she tells me about that guy and I tell her to forget him and kiss her. After the movie I followed her home. It would be boring to do this all over again don't you think?

[sabaton]

Well I just did that 2 days ago. She came over, we cooked taco's and then watched a movies. While watching a movie she tells me about that guy and I tell her to forget him and kiss her. After the movie I followed her home. It would be boring to do this all over again don't you think?

 

 

Don't give her time to talk about other guys, man. Start playing with her hair, and if she's enjoying it, kiss her shoulders. Then kiss her neck, bite it gently if you are into that sort of stuff. See how she reacts. If she's positively enjoying it, go up and kiss her mouth. Then you know what to do, don't you?

[Tagalz]

 

I mean on Tuesday you should ask her to spend time with you on Friday . . . you know plan a date in advance rather then hooking up to hang out with no advanced notice.

 

Skip the dinner. Just go to the movie. Kiss her at the movie. Then ask her to come back to your house. At your house initiate making out. Move things into the bedroom but do not think that a 17 year old can spend the night. Her parents probably want her home, unless she made plans in advance which here she did not, she will have to go home.

 

Not this week tho, the movie doesn't come out until next week. So next tuesday I ask her to spend time with me on friday. Then she know what we'll be doing in advance. Or I could ask her now so that she knows that next friday she will be with me but that is too soon like one week from now

 

I would rather ask her to come to my place first because after the movie she could say "Oh I have something to do and I can't come over, but I enjoyed watching the movie with you"

[Tagalz]

Don't give her time to talk about other guys, man. Start playing with her hair, and if she's enjoying it, kiss her shoulders. Then kiss her neck, bite it gently if you are into that sort of stuff. See how she reacts. If she's positively enjoying it, go up and kiss her mouth. Then you know what to do, don't you?

 

I tried but she would use her pillow to cover her face. That means she don't want me to kiss her at the neck, but only her mouth

[sabaton]

I tried but she would use her pillow to cover her face. That means she don't want me to kiss her at the neck, but only her mouth

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's cute, in a weird way. Start texting her now. Hit on her. Tell her that she's so hot that sometimes you have a hard time not having a heart attack when you look at her lips, at her legs, at her hips.

 

 

 

Start being flirty. See how far she lets you go. Then start asking her what sort of stuff turns her on, what she finds enjoyable, like what are the sensitive areas of her body that she loves the most to have someone play with.

 

 

Then you use that knowledge on her when you are alone with her!

[Tagalz]

 

 

That's cute, in a weird way. Start texting her now. Hit on her. Tell her that she's so hot that sometimes you have a hard time not having a heart attack when you look at her lips, at her legs, at her hips.

 

 

 

Start being flirty. See how far she lets you go. Then start asking her what sort of stuff turns her on, what she finds enjoyable, like what are the sensitive areas of her body that she loves the most to have someone play with.

 

 

Then you use that knowledge on her when you are alone with her!

 

Well I prefer not to do that over texts, but I'll keep that in mind so I could say it to her

 

I would use facebook though.. I found a site called "Relationship goals" and there is a picture saying "I wish I was cuddling with you rn" It would be me flirting if I tagged her

[sabaton]

Well I prefer not to do that over texts, but I'll keep that in mind so I could say it to her

 

I would use facebook though.. I found a site called "Relationship goals" and there is a picture saying "I wish I was cuddling with you rn" It would be me flirting if I tagged her

 

 

haha, the more turned on she is when you're texting her, the easier it will be for you to bed her, when she's with you at your place, alone, because you've already got the social foreplay done and over with. Then you can start the physical foreplay.

 

 

Yeah, do that on facebook, I guess she'll think it's cute.

[sabaton]

I know that & you know that but she doesn't know that. She thinks sex equal love so she has sex with these boys who view her as easy & therefore not GF material.

Or she really enjoys sex, and doesn't want an exclusive relationship with someone just yet. I used to know a girl who would have guys fly from their respective Countries to her own Country, because although she wanted casual sex, she didn't want people from her city to know that she enjoyed casual sex, as she was afraid of what people might think of her.

 

She would tell me the same things, and when I flew to meet her and spend the weekend with her, she also spent some 5 minutes complaining about guys, to which I patiently listened to, and then I smiled and kissed her and she forgot all about what other guys did to her or didn't do to her.

 

Sadly, the western world is still way too conservative, and there's lots of guys that are going to think lowly of a girl because she enjoys her sexuality, and enjoys no-strings attached sex with men.

 

Maybe the girl OP is interested is in the same boat. And because of that, she goes ahead and says that guys used her for sex when what she really wanted was a long-term relationship before sex happened, but that she had to have sex to keep these guys interested, and even then the guys dumped her...when the truth was. She just wanted to have sex with those guys and nothing more.

 

OP's sexual interest is not 17. She turned 18 this last week or so.

Edited November 5, 2018 by sabaton

[Tagalz]

Or she really enjoys sex, and doesn't want an exclusive relationship with someone just yet. I used to know a girl who would have guys fly from their respective Countries to her own Country, because although she wanted casual sex, she didn't want people from her city to know that she enjoyed casual sex, as she was afraid of what people might think of her.

 

She would tell me the same things, and when I flew to meet her and spend the weekend with her, she also spent some 5 minutes complaining about guys, to which I patiently listened to, and then I smiled and kissed her and she forgot all about what other guys did to her or didn't do to her.

 

Sadly, the western world is still way too conservative, and there's lots of guys that are going to think lowly of a girl because she enjoys her sexuality, and enjoys no-strings attached sex with men.

 

Maybe the girl OP is interested is in the same boat. And because of that, she goes ahead and says that guys used her for sex when what she really wanted was a long-term relationship before sex happened, but that she had to have sex to keep these guys interested, and even then the guys dumped her...when the truth was. She just wanted to have sex with those guys and nothing more.

 

OP's sexual interest is not 17. She turned 18 this last week or so.

 

That's what D0nnivain and I say too! She don't know what she does to herself and that's why she is hooking up. She might realise it when she gets older as at some point it has to be stopped.

 

She will be 18 in 21th november while I will be 23 years old on 22 november.

 

But sabaton a little update: I tagged her on that post, but she's ignoring it because I can see a green circle around her profile which means she's online. Not a big deal or is it?

[Tagalz]

 

a little update: I tagged her on that post, but she's ignoring it because I can see a green circle around her profile which means she's online. Not a big deal or is it?

 

further update: She asked me the days I'm free from work. I said I have a day off on saturday and sundays so we could meet on the evenings.

 

She replied with: "Yeeees but I have to finish schoolwork first"

 

That's good because she wants to be with me

[sabaton]

.

But sabaton a little update: I tagged her on that post, but she's ignoring it because I can see a green circle around her profile which means she's online. Not a big deal or is it?

Dunno.

 

Does that mean she saw what you sent her? If she saw what you sent her and she hasn't replied yet, it can be because she's busy with other stuff while appearing to be online, because I reckon it takes some time before the green circle turns to yellow or red, indicating that she's away from her keyboard, right?

 

Or maybe she saw it and forgot to reply back yet because her parents or friends wanted her to do so something and she'll get back to you when she can.

 

further update: She asked me the days I'm free from work. I said I have a day off on saturday and sundays so we could meet on the evenings.

 

She replied with: "Yeeees but I have to finish schoolwork first"

 

That's good because she wants to be with me

That's good news. She's initiating contact and she's curious to know when you have your days off because she wants to spend time with you. Well, wait for your day off on saturday, then when it's about 3 or 4PM your time, ask her if her schoolwork is done with.

[Tagalz]

.Dunno.

 

Does that mean she saw what you sent her? If she saw what you sent her and she hasn't replied yet, it can be because she's busy with other stuff while appearing to be online, because I reckon it takes some time before the green circle turns to yellow or red, indicating that she's away from her keyboard, right?

 

Or maybe she saw it and forgot to reply back yet because her parents or friends wanted her to do so something and she'll get back to you when she can.

 

 

That's good news. She's initiating contact and she's curious to know when you have your days off because she wants to spend time with you. Well, wait for your day off on saturday, then when it's about 3 or 4PM your time, ask her if her schoolwork is done with.

 

Yes the green circle means she's online and she may do other things. She also has her sister, father and mother on facebook and I don't think they would be happy to see me tagging her. That might be the case if she's not answering, but I don't take it as too serious, if she don't reply then she don't it's a small thing.

 

Yes but it's soo much going on, like she wants to be with me the days I'm off, but I'm thinking other things like waiting for next tuesday to ask her on a date for friday. And then she wants to be with me before that like is she not tired of always being with me?

 

OH I forgot one thing! The movie comes out on tuesday next week which is the day I'm going to ask her to meet on friday. Then that means I have to tell her this saturday to not watch the movie until next week

Edited November 5, 2018 by Tagalz

[sabaton]

Yes the green circle means she's online and she may do other things. She also has her sister, father and mother on facebook and I don't think they would be happy to see me tagging her. That might be the case if she's not answering, but I don't take it as too serious, if she don't reply then she don't it's a small thing.

Ah, her family don't know about you. Yeah, don't take it too seriously. Stuff comes up and she has to deal with them, I'm sure she wasn't ignoring you.

 

Yes but it's soo much going on, like she wants to be with me the days I'm off, but I'm thinking other things like waiting for next tuesday to ask her on a date for friday. And then she wants to be with me before that like is she not tired of always being with me?

Why? Why are you complicating what doesn't need to be complicated in the first place? She wants to be with you when you have your days off. You don't have anything scheduled with anyone else, you don't have anything important to do on those days you are off, then why wait for x day to ask her out on y day when you could just spend those days you have free with her instead?

 

You know, a date isn't special because it's a date. It's not special because you spent a long time organizing it and planning it and making it something so incredible that she will fall in love with you.

 

Your company. Your presence. Your words and your actions is what makes you special, OP. It's why she wants to be with you. She doesn't care about no fancy dinner or no movie. Those are just avenues, methods that she can use to spend time with you.

 

If you wanted to head to the beach in the middle of the winter and you guys got the means to not freeze to death I'm pretty sure she'd tag along with you and have a lot of fun.

 

Don't postpone what is good and what is fun and what is pleasurable! Ask her out already!

 

Text her:

 

'' so I have this day off and this day, and I want to spend it with you. How do you feel about it?''

 

BAM BAM SHAZAAAM.

 

You got yourself a date.

 

OH I forgot one thing! The movie comes out on tuesday next week which is the day I'm going to ask her to meet on friday. Then that means I have to tell her this saturday to not watch the movie until next week

Alright, so you're going to spend this whole week not meeting up with her and only talking to her on the phone/facebook/texting and then you'll go on a date with her next week?

[Tagalz]

 

Text her:

 

'' so I have this day off and this day, and I want to spend it with you. How do you feel about it?''

 

BAM BAM SHAZAAAM.

 

You got yourself a date.

 

 

Alright, so you're going to spend this whole week not meeting up with her and only talking to her on the phone/facebook/texting and then you'll go on a date with her next week?

 

Sure I can do that.. I meet her this weekend and the following day to see movie.

 

But what are we going to do this weekend though? normally I used to take her out on events in the city centre when we were hanging out, but it's no events this weekend, do you have any idea on what we could do?

[Tagalz]

Sure I can do that.. I meet her this weekend and the following day to see movie.

 

But what are we going to do this weekend though? normally I used to take her out on events in the city centre when we were hanging out, but it's no events this weekend, do you have any idea on what we could do?

 

Or we could take the date this weekend instead of next week. Only thing is that it's screwing up my plans.