Did I come on too strong? [Updated discussion]

[William]

Moderation merged three threads on what appears to be the same dating topic so please continue all discussion of this dating interaction in this thread. There may be some overlap and/or duplication of content. Thanks!

[Normm]

No she will not hook up with another guy. I trust her that much to know she would not. If she does it hurts my feelings

 

 

Pretty much everyone who has been cheated on says that.

[MaleIntuition]

I think she just realised that you are interested in more than friendship and therefore are being short with you to communicate a message.

[Tagalz]

Pretty much everyone who has been cheated on says that.

 

Well that's hard to know If I get cheating on... She would never tell me that she hooked up with another guy so otherwise I don't really get to know.

[Tagalz]

[]

 

I'm going to have a conversation about how I see her and what I would like with her. Just have to wait until her 18th Birthday

Edited October 24, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Thread cleaned up

[Tagalz]

You need to let her know what your intentions are. You can't expect her to act like your girlfriend if she doesn't even know that's how you view her. And, it's a two-way street. She may not want a "real" boyfriend. Communicate.

 

Mhm... should I let her know my intention before this saturday when she’s going to the party? Cause my plan was to tell her when she’s 18 though... it can be too soon you know

[Normm]

Well that's hard to know If I get cheating on... She would never tell me that she hooked up with another guy so otherwise I don't really get to know.

 

 

There are often ways to find out but regardless it's always better to keep your eyes open and be aware that it's a possibility so you don't get completely blindsided.

[Tagalz]

There are often ways to find out but regardless it's always better to keep your eyes open and be aware that it's a possibility so you don't get completely blindsided.

 

What is the way to find it out? I have never cheated or getting cheated by a girl in my life so I don’t have excperience with that particular situation.

[Normm]

Voice activated recorders in her car or even one that looks like a pen in her pocketbook, keyloggers on her computer to obtain passwords to email and social media accounts, GPS device on her car, if you have access to her phone check it on regular occasion (if you have access to her phone you can set it so you can track her all the time).

 

If necessary you can go as far as hiring a PI or a trusted friend to follow her around here or there.

 

 

The most important thing you can do is keep your head out of the sand and keep your eyes wide open and watch for any unusual activity such as unexplained gaps in her schedule or unusual purchases (read about signs of an affair and what a woman does and how she acts) and don't brush it off if you see it.

[Tagalz]

Voice activated recorders in her car or even one that looks like a pen in her pocketbook, keyloggers on her computer to obtain passwords to email and social media accounts, GPS device on her car, if you have access to her phone check it on regular occasion (if you have access to her phone you can set it so you can track her all the time).

 

If necessary you can go as far as hiring a PI or a trusted friend to follow her around here or there.

 

 

The most important thing you can do is keep your head out of the sand and keep your eyes wide open and watch for any unusual activity such as unexplained gaps in her schedule or unusual purchases (read about signs of an affair and what a woman does and how she acts) and don't brush it off if you see it.

 

It is a clever way to find it out but it is too stalker-ish. However since you mentioned activity... I do check often on Snapchat’s map for her activity as she has made her position visible to me. I noticed that she has been alot to a store called «Outland» (It is a store for Anime.)

 

The only thing about the map on Snapchat is that you could choose to be visible or not so if she goes private I could not see where she is. Yeah if you have snapchat you know what I mean

 

Other than that I could keep track on her this saturday but I can only see where the party is (If she har private on I could not locate her) And hopefully she sends me snap. If she doesn’t I could say «sup?» or something to make her send me a snap back

Edited October 25, 2018 by Tagalz

[Normm]

Never mind my last post I was confusing it with some married guy who suspected an affair. She’s just a kid and it’s not clear if you’re even together.

[Tagalz]

Never mind my last post I was confusing it with some married guy who suspected an affair. She’s just a kid and it’s not clear if you’re even together.

 

True, but you also said I have to keep my eye open so I will.

 

Also a another way to see if she are at the party is that if she don’t send me snap it could indicate that she lied and are not even at the party. OR if she is private on snapchat’s map. That I know for sure that she lied.

[MaleIntuition]

Never mind my last post I was confusing it with some married guy who suspected an affair. She’s just a kid and it’s not clear if you’re even together.

 

Exactly. They aren’t even dating. It’s more or less impossible for her to cheat.

[Tagalz]

Exactly. They aren’t even dating. It’s more or less impossible for her to cheat.

 

Wrong. We are dating but we haven’t make it official. Why do you think I’m bringing this up? Because it’s weird that she had to attend a friends party rather than to be with me. Not only that but she is going with «friends» and her friends are single + there are atleast some guy who is going to hit on her and also because her friends are single that just mean that Kriss is putting herself in a situation where it is okay for guys to hook up with her.

 

Even if she’s not officially my girlfriend. It is still hurting to know she’s out there partying with guys who are drunk and horny.

 

I will let it slide since she’s not my girlfriend and she only wants some time with her friends. BUT it is not okay if she does that too often

Edited October 26, 2018 by Tagalz

[Tagalz]

Hi!

 

In my previous thread I talked about how Kriss had to attend her friends party rather than being with me, but now it's late and I got a snap from her saying that she wants me there. She also said I have to save her from Tobbe (a guy who is good friend with Kriss) because he is drunk and are getting to close on her, and it does seem like that. They are playing with each others hair...

 

Should I go or not?

 

I want to, but the only thing that's holding me back is that there is a lot of people that are 17 and 18... not only that but just to come there and save her is kind of weird and awkward as well. If I'm going I want to have fun and get to know people not to save her lol

 

Now she said I don't have to come...

Edited October 27, 2018 by Tagalz

[Tagalz]

So I ended up going to the party but I came late so everyone was tired and some had already slept after drinking much... I did not bring something and they offer me breakfast this morning... I have bad conscience for that but that is something I have to learn for next time.

 

On the other hand, I got to meet more of Kriss'es friends and we talked a bit, but they did not have much questions tho which seems a little bit weird, but maybe she had told them everything

 

Some weren't really nice, saying that my music taste is weird and that I have to socialise more...

 

So when it was time to sleep she often took my arm... she wanted me by her side so it got a little intimidate but no sex. (She is still 17)

[d0nnivain]

I thought we walked about you not making a move until her 18th birthday.

 

Etiquette lesson: never show up at someone's home empty handed.

 

What time did this party start & what time did you arrive? Sounds like you go there so late it was hardly worth going if the partiers were already asleep when you got there.

[Tagalz]

I thought we walked about you not making a move until her 18th birthday.

 

Etiquette lesson: never show up at someone's home empty handed.

 

 

But what could I do? it's too late now...

 

Yes true that it was no point to come since it was so late, but I have my reasons. I had dinner with members of my family and they didn't go until like 10PM. The party started around 7PM. And when I came home my phone had died so I had to charge it before I went to the party.

Edited October 28, 2018 by Tagalz

[sabaton]

But what could I do? it's too late now...

 

 

next time you go to a house party, bring something with you. Bring something innocuous like a basket of fruit or a vase with flowers, everyone loves flowers.

 

 

Yes true that it was no point to come since it was so late, but I have my reasons. I had dinner with members of my family and they didn't go until like 10PM. The party started around 7PM. And when I came home my phone had died so I had to charge it before I went to the party.

 

 

Don't put yourself in a position that might end up with you having sex with an underage person.

[Tagalz]

next time you go to a house party, bring something with you. Bring something innocuous like a basket of fruit or a vase with flowers, everyone loves flowers.

 

 

It might not be a next time... Her friends have bad impressions about me now and they could even "Hate" me

[sabaton]

It might not be a next time... Her friends have bad impressions about me now and they could even "Hate" me

 

 

Bad impressions of you and hatred? What did you do? What happened? is there a guy there in her group of friends that wants to sleep with the girl and he has turned his group of friends against you? or are weary about you because you are older than the girl you are interested in? How much older by the way?

[Tagalz]

Bad impressions of you and hatred? What did you do? What happened?

 

is there a guy there in her group of friends that wants to sleep with the girl and he has turned his group of friends against you?

 

or are weary about you because you are older than the girl you are interested in? How much older by the way?

 

Bad impressions of you and hatred? What did you do? What happened?

Nothing happened. I exaggerated when I wrote "Hate" but by bad impressions I mean that when you meet new people and they are welcoming you to their home, you want to be kind and show respect. I did not do that... I came late and I did not bring something.

 

is there a guy there in her group of friends that wants to sleep with the girl and he has turned his group of friends against you?

 

No, but a guy who got very close to her when I wasn't there. I later found out that Kriss and him are very good friend. She even told me that she slept with him before and 4 other people at the same house we were in. Not clear if she ment sex cause she slept with 4 other people so it could have been that she and Tobbe was on the other side of the bed. But I won't say it's a lie, it might have had happened at that party a long time ago before I knew Kriss.

 

That guy named "Tobbe" said I had weird taste in music which was not nice at all. He did not turn her group against me, but had a negative attitude. I could see right away that he did not like me in this group but that's okay.. it's not like everyone has to like me.

 

or are weary about you because you are older than the girl you are interested in? How much older by the way?

 

I can say 100% that they know she's underage compared to me. How? well they didn't even ask me how old I were, so most questions has been answered by Kriss I think, which makes sense to why they didn't ask much.

Edited October 28, 2018 by Tagalz

[sabaton]

Nothing happened. I exaggerated when I wrote "Hate" but by bad impressions I mean that when you meet new people and they are welcoming you to their home, you want to be kind and show respect. I did not do that... I came late and I did not bring something.

 

 

When did the party started and when did you got there, and why did it take you so long to get there? Did the girl know you were coming?

 

 

 

She invited, you, right? And you told her that you were going to get there late and why before you arrived, or you didn't sayanthing at all?

 

 

 

 

No, but a guy who got very close to her when I wasn't there. I later found out that Kriss and him are very good friend. She even told me that she slept with him before and 5 other people at the same house we were in. Not clear if she ment sex. But it might have been that they hooked up before.

 

 

 

 

Wait what??? She hooked up with that guy and with 5 of her other male friends? Making it 6 guys she slept with from her social group? How many guys are there in that group of friends?

 

Bro, if the girl slept with that guy, or with the other guys truth is that they aren't going to like you because they know what you want, and they want to keep the girl for themselves. Heck, how do you even know she stopped hooking up with them - if she hooked up with them at all - ?

 

 

That guy named "Tobbe" said I had weird taste in music which was not nice at all. He did not turn her group against me, but had a negative attitude. I could see right away that he did not like me in this group but that's okay.. it's not like everyone has to like me.

 

 

He was probably interested in the girl and he feels that you a threat to getting what he wants from her.

 

 

 

 

I can say 100% that they know she's underage compared to me. How? well they didn't even ask me how old I were, so most questions has been answered by Kriss I think, which makes sense to why they didn't ask much.

 

 

How old are you? Sometimes guys will look younger than their age, but then there are times when he's significally older and youthful looks are still going to give him away, because the girl is a lot younger.

[d0nnivain]

Nobody hates you. They made you breakfast. If they hated you, they would have just kicked you out.

 

If the party started at 7 & your family dinner plans were at 10, you could have gone to the party early & then came back.

 

Last time I looked phone chargers were portable. I'm sure you could have plugged it in at the party. Lame excuse.

[Tagalz]

When did the party started and when did you got there, and why did it take you so long to get there? Did the girl know you were coming?

 

She invited, you, right? And you told her that you were going to get there late and why before you arrived, or you didn't sayanthing at all?

 

 

Wait what??? She hooked up with that guy and with 5 of her other male friends? Making it 6 guys she slept with from her social group? How many guys are there in that group of friends?

 

Bro, if the girl slept with that guy, or with the other guys truth is that they aren't going to like you because they know what you want, and they want to keep the girl for themselves. Heck, how do you even know she stopped hooking up with them - if she hooked up with them at all - ?

 

He was probably interested in the girl and he feels that you a threat to getting what he wants from her.

 

How old are you? Sometimes guys will look younger than their age, but then there are times when he's significally older and youthful looks are still going to give him away, because the girl is a lot younger.

 

Sabaton I think you misunderstand a little bit, let me clear things up.

 

Your question: When did the party started and when did you got there, and why did it take you so long to get there? Did the girl know you were coming?

 

She invited, you, right? And you told her that you were going to get there late and why before you arrived, or you didn't sayanthing at all?

 

My answer: The party started at 7PM I arrived at about 11PM. I took me so long because I had dinner with members of my family. They went home at 10PM and when I came home my phone needed to charge. That is why I came late.

 

She invited me yes and I told her that I would be late.

 

Your question: Wait what??? She hooked up with that guy and with 5 of her other male friends? Making it 6 guys she slept with from her social group? How many guys are there in that group of friends?

 

My answer: It was 4 people at the same house (5 is wrong). And I'm not sure if all of them were male friends. Last night was 3 guys.

 

Why do you think Tobbe had a negative attitude? It might be because he have feelings for her. Remember Kriss and him were playing with each others hair before I came to the party. Not only that but she said she had been sleeping with him before. And by before it might be a long time ago before I knew Kriss. Even if it was long time ago, Tobbe seems to still have feelings. If that is wrong then it can be that Tobbe knew I was going to hook up so he had to be negative.

Edited October 28, 2018 by Tagalz