Compliment ignored?

[Britney25]

Because if he is a player, he likely is spending time with other women and he doesn't feel the need to respond with any urgency when he's got someone else to attend to. Guys (and girls) who fish for attention online tend to do so when they haven't got anything else going on, and then drop off the radar when someone in their immediate vicinity catches their interest.

 

It would be a crappy thing to do, but it's also possible he's doing this on purpose because he knows it will keep you hooked on him and wondering where he's gone.

 

We don't know if either of the above scenario is the case with him, obviously, but there are a few things that would make me wary about this guy. The fact that you don't live near him and he's probably around 20 years old than you (I imagine?) don't make this a particularly promising lead, especially when you factor in the unsolicited chest and abs shots to a girl he's never met. That's something we tend to grow out of as we get older. The fact that he evidently hasn't isn't great.

 

And no, I wouldn't initiate contact. You tried. He hasn't yet picked up where you left off. It's on him now. And if he does come back around, I'm not sure he's the type of guy you'd want in your life.

 

I won't text him..says more about him then me actually if he was just playing me to stroke his ego.

[ExpatInItaly]

I won't text him..says more about him then me actually if he was just playing me to stroke his ego.

 

Yes, it does.

 

How did you wind up first communicating on FB, anyway?

[Britney25]

Yes, it does.

 

How did you wind up first communicating on FB, anyway?

 

I commented on one of his posts about a news story and he messaged me. That's how it began.

[Britney25]

Ugh, yes he was fishing for pics of you.

 

And what does 'impress you in a cheap way' even mean? Especially coming from a 40+ year old.

 

If you follow through with this visit, be careful. The more I read, the more I'm not liking him.

 

I don't know...I'm beginning to think he is a player and I fell for it...but again I was investing the same amount as he was never more. For everyday of him texting I rarely initiated...I sent him a compliment and he sees it and ignores it? Like huh?

[hippychick3]

I honestly think he's talking to multiple girls, saw your message, got his ego stroked and continued chatting up the others. I don't think he intentionally ignored you. I think he's just more interested in someone else at the moment and is moving you to the back of the line.

 

I'd just say nothing and move on. Anyone you've not met yet in person is a total and complete stranger. He's not worth a second more of your energy.

[BaileyB]

I don't know...I'm beginning to think he is a player and I fell for it...but again I was investing the same amount as he was never more. For everyday of him texting I rarely initiated...I sent him a compliment and he sees it and ignores it? Like huh?

 

My thought, and it's more than a little cynical... He invested the time and energy that was required such that he could float out a few flirty comments and a suggestive photo to see how you would respond. He's now decided, given your lack of return photo, that you are not going to be worth the time and effort. You are young, so there was interest there but there is not enough return to keep him interested... especially given the fact that you are long distance, what else could he really hope for without costing him time and money?

 

Perhaps he's found someone else who did send a return photo, or someone local who is available to meet for a cheap date. Either way, I personally wouldn't spend a lot of time thinking about this guy... The whole thing kind of creeps me out.

[Britney25]

I honestly think he's talking to multiple girls, saw your message, got his ego stroked and continued chatting up the others. I don't think he intentionally ignored you. I think he's just more interested in someone else at the moment and is moving you to the back of the line.

 

I'd just say nothing and move on. Anyone you've not met yet in person is a total and complete stranger. He's not worth a second more of your energy.

 

Hmmm he sent me videos of his place, made future plans for when I get there. Was never lewd, overly sexual...I dont understand how that comment turned him off maybe???? I know we were just flirting but it felt like this was for real as in he was genuinely interested.

[MidwestUSA]

Hmmm he sent me videos of his place, made future plans for when I get there. Was never lewd, overly sexual...I dont understand how that comment turned him off maybe???? I know we were just flirting but it felt like this was for real as in he was genuinely interested.

 

It's not that it turned him off, I think it's that he didn't get what he wanted, which was more - pics of you.

 

I do think he's playing the field, and has his sights elsewhere at this time.

[Britney25]

My thought, and it's more than a little cynical... He invested the time and energy that was required such that he could float out a few flirty comments and a suggestive photo to see how you would respond. He's now decided, given your lack of return photo, that you are not going to be worth the time and effort. You are young, so there was interest there but there is not enough return to keep him interested... especially given the fact that you are long distance, what else could he really hope for without costing him time and money?

 

Perhaps he's found someone else who did send a return photo, or someone local who is available to meet for a cheap date. Either way, I personally wouldn't spend a lot of time thinking about this guy... The whole thing kind of creeps me out.

 

 

But we had deep convos, he said he cant wait to meet me in person , to learn more about me, he told me I hope you will like me when you see me,...I told him I'm not looking to hop into bed that fast with him and he said he isnt either. I mean him sending me shirtless photos I would think he would like that comment but silence.

[Britney25]

It's not that it turned him off, I think it's that he didn't get what he wanted, which was more - pics of you.

 

I do think he's playing the field, and has his sights elsewhere at this time.

 

Hmmm maybe so...he was hoping I would send him sexy photos? But we spoke for like 3 weeks already and I never in that time sent him any sexy photos and he kept texting . Listen I dont text sexy photos until we are actually in a relationship...I really Hoped he was looking for something serious. I even told him I'm looking for something special. I dont know...I guess it's a wait and see now.

[ExpatInItaly]

Hmmm he sent me videos of his place, made future plans for when I get there. Was never lewd, overly sexual...I dont understand how that comment turned him off maybe???? I know we were just flirting but it felt like this was for real as in he was genuinely interested.

 

I don't think he was turned off, he just found other ways to occupy his time this weekend and someone else has his attention right now.

 

You can't really judge genuine interest until you spend time with someone in person. I wouldn't worry about trying to keep him in your loop. The more you say, the more off he sounds.

[Britney25]

So if a men texts you shirtless photos hes looking for sex??

[Britney25]

I don't think he was turned off, he just found other ways to occupy his time this weekend and someone else has his attention right now.

 

You can't really judge genuine interest until you spend time with someone in person. I wouldn't worry about trying to keep him in your loop. The more you say, the more off he sounds.

 

 

Maybe you're right...maybe that was his way of luring me into bed or fishing for photos of me by earning my trust per say? He did mention that virtual contact or flirting means nothing as he would rather me tell him that in person if I like him, etc. Which I agree. I guess I'm just disappointed because I truly enjoyed his attention and was excited to meet him and see where this will go.

[BaileyB]

But we had deep convos, he said he cant wait to meet me in person , to learn more about me, he told me I hope you will like me when you see me...

 

I mean him sending me shirtless photos I would think he would like that comment but silence.

 

Talk is cheap Britney, especially when you are a 40 year old man flirting with a 25 year old girl online.

 

Expat is so right. You can't judge someone's character or their intentions until you meet them in person.

 

You would think, except if he was looking for something more...

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I find it extremely odd that you haven't sent him pics of you and he hasn't asked. Very odd.

[BaileyB]

So if a men texts you shirtless photos hes looking for sex??

 

Usually.

 

When I was first dating my boyfriend, he sent me a photo of a really built man in a spandex bike suit - he was flirting with me because we were going biking. It was maybe our forth or firth date, we had not had sex yet. It was one of the first really "flirty" things he did and I was a little taken aback - just because he had been pretty subtle previously. I texted a friend and said "this is good, right?" And she replied to say "VERY good!" Lol. If you ask him today, he would say that he was definitely looking for sex. He was flirting and trying move things along...

 

The difference - we had been on a few dates, we were both clearly interested, and he wasn't asking for a nude photo of me - which he knows, he would never get.

[Britney25]

I find it extremely odd that you haven't sent him pics of you and he hasn't asked. Very odd.

 

I sent him photos and videos but nothing sexual. Plus he follows me on insta and has me on facebook. Photos galore and we skyped

[ExpatInItaly]

So if a men texts you shirtless photos hes looking for sex??

 

When they've never met you, usually the answer to your question is yes.

[Britney25]

Usually.

 

When I was first dating my boyfriend, he sent me a photo of a really built man in a spandex bike suit - he was flirting with me because we were going biking. It was maybe our forth or firth date, we had not had sex yet. It was one of the first really "flirty" things he did and I was a little taken aback - just because he had been pretty subtle previously. I texted a friend and said "this is good, right?" And she replied to say "VERY good!" Lol. If you ask him today, he would say that he was definitely looking for sex. He was flirting and trying move things along...

 

The difference - we had been on a few dates, we were both clearly interested, and he wasn't asking for a nude photo of me - which he knows, he would never get.

 

Well he wasnt asking for nude photos or sexy photos of me either. Maybe he was hoping that I would send him some? I'm not that kind of woman, especially if we haven't met or dated. I was taken aback he kept sending me his shirtless photos and sometimes normal selfies but I didnt think anything of it as I thought he is trying to impress me. So why do you think he hasnt replied to my comment ? And do you think he will?

[Britney25]

When they've never met you, usually the answer to your question is yes.

 

Now I feel stupid I really though he was trying to impress me that's all.

[MidwestUSA]

Well he wasnt asking for nude photos or sexy photos of me either. Maybe he was hoping that I would send him some? I'm not that kind of woman, especially if we haven't met or dated. I was taken aback he kept sending me his shirtless photos and sometimes normal selfies but I didnt think anything of it as I thought he is trying to impress me. So why do you think he hasnt replied to my comment ? And do you think he will?

 

There's a serious contradiction here. Being 'taken aback' was your gut telling you something wasn't right. Then you rationalized it.

 

Always go with your gut; you'll learn with time.

 

None of us can tell you if he'll be in touch. He might need more ego stroking and come back. For now, my bet is he's getting it from someone else. Guys who play this game usually have several lines out at once, hoping someone, anyone, takes the bait.

[hippychick3]

Hmmm he sent me videos of his place, made future plans for when I get there. Was never lewd, overly sexual...I dont understand how that comment turned him off maybe???? I know we were just flirting but it felt like this was for real as in he was genuinely interested.

 

I don't think your comment turned him off. You're analyzing your comment too much with the belief that this is why he hasn't responded when his lack of response has nothing to do with your comment. He is just most likely preoccupied with someone else.

 

It doesn't matter what he said to you or what future plans he "made." He was never serious... it was all in fun. He hasn't met you and has no attachment to you at this point. It was just words that mean NOTHING when you haven't met in person. It's best to never ever allow yourself to get invested in a man you haven't met.

[BaileyB]

Well he wasnt asking for nude photos or sexy photos of me either. Maybe he was hoping that I would send him some? I was taken aback he kept sending me his shirtless photos.

 

So why do you think he hasnt replied to my comment ? And do you think he will?

 

Britney, why else would he send you shirtless photos?

 

I don't think your comment turned him off. As I said, I think he gave up when you didn't send more suggestive photos (good for you!!) and he is otherwise occupied right now. It's highly unlikely that you are the only woman he is corresponding with...

 

Do I think he will reply - I don't know. But, I wouldn't care. I would never be interested in dating a man who forty years old (when I was 25) who does not live locally and doesn't have the good sense not to send a shirtless photo to a woman he has never met. But, that's just me...

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I sent him photos and videos but nothing sexual. Plus he follows me on insta and has me on facebook. Photos galore and we skyped

 

Ohhhhh.....ok.

[Britney25]

I don't think your comment turned him off. You're analyzing your comment too much with the belief that this is why he hasn't responded when his lack of response has nothing to do with your comment. He is just most likely preoccupied with someone else.

 

It doesn't matter what he said to you or what future plans he "made." He was never serious... it was all in fun. He hasn't met you and has no attachment to you at this point. It was just words that mean NOTHING when you haven't met in person. It's best to never ever allow yourself to get invested in a man you haven't met.

 

 

Guys are so Dick. Obviously he doesnt owe me anything nor do I but everytime I open myself up to love I find jerks.