Compliment ignored?

[Britney25]

Meh you two are having some internet flirtation, and your comment probably blew him away or he's doing the photos to fish for an ego boost. It's possible he's workin it with other women too, hoping to get masturbation material. You won't know what's truly going on until he is serious about meeting you. Tip: Never assume you are the only one of his desires.

 

 

What happend with the clingy guy? You send him to the curb?

 

 

Yes the clingy guy is bye bye lol

 

But back to this man. He is serious about meeting me from what I can tell. We skyped, he called me twice. He keeps in touch..initiates first. Told me he will pick me up from the airport. I even told him I'm not looking for sex if that's what you think and he said hes not in a hurry.

[Britney25]

I had the same reaction.

 

Given that the guy has already shared pics of himself, I saw nothing wrong with your comment. Most guys would eat it up.

 

I could see where, if he was just playing with you, and wasn't certain if he saw you 'in that way', he might have been taken aback. He may have been reinforcing his manliness, without romantic expectations (sort of using you like he'd use a mirror at the gym), and you basically called him on it. If that's the case, good riddance.

 

He's single and in his early 40s. He's never been married? Any LTRs that you know of? How old are you?

 

But I agree with others, just sit tight and wait.

 

 

I'm 25. Yes hes never been married no kids. Told me he used to be a bad boy and now he is looking for something serious. Before he sent those photos we chatted like 3 weeks and then I get these photos of him. He told me hes trying to impress me. I mean he always talked romantic with me. So I dont get why he suddenly is ignoring my text.

[Britney25]

I totally agree with this. There is a time and a place for this kind of fun, and for me that time would be AFTER we have had a few dates. This kind of behavior from a man I had never met would really cause me to step back.

 

Really? He never asked me to send him photos. Maybe he was indeed fishing only for compliments? But if that's the case then why would he pursue me? Sometimes he would send me normal selfies and video of his nieces which he adores. I just dont get it

[smackie9]

IMO if his intentions are solid, he would get on a plane to come see you....just saying. Actions speak louder than words....be careful of what is coming out of his mouth.

[BaileyB]

Brittany, you are 25 years old. May I ask - why are you not out with friends dating guys closer to your age? It’s easy to understand why he would be flirting with you... But I wonder, why are you engaging in an online relationship with a 40 something year old man...

[Britney25]

IMO if his intentions are solid, he would get on a plane to come see you....just saying. Actions speak louder than words....be careful of what is coming out of his mouth.

 

Well the only reason is I'm heading that way anyway.not just for him

[Britney25]

Brittany, you are 25 years old. May I ask - why are you not out with friends dating guys closer to your age? It’s easy to understand why he would be flirting with you... But I wonder, why are you engaging in an online relationship with a 40 something year old man...

 

Because I like older Men

[ExpatInItaly]

Really? He never asked me to send him photos. Maybe he was indeed fishing only for compliments? But if that's the case then why would he pursue me? Sometimes he would send me normal selfies and video of his nieces which he adores. I just dont get it

 

He isn't really pursuing you yet, though. Chatting and phone calls are the easy part. It takes little effort. So is sending some photos and pretending he thinks he's not good enough, so that you will praise his looks - oldest trick in the book. But coming from a guy in his 40s, it's on the immature side.

 

See if he puts his money where his mouth is and actually follows through on a plan to meet up. That will tell you more about what he's truly after.

[MaleIntuition]

Hmm.. yeah, if I got such a comment from a girl whom I had never met; that would be a big turn off. Too much, too soon. You are also contradicting yourself with sexual flirting while simultaneously saying you aren’t looking for sex - whatever that means...

[Britney25]

He isn't really pursuing you yet, though. Chatting and phone calls are the easy part. It takes little effort. So is sending some photos and pretending he thinks he's not good enough, so that you will praise his looks - oldest trick in the book. But coming from a guy in his 40s, it's on the immature side.

 

See if he puts his money where his mouth is and actually follows through on a plan to meet up. That will tell you more about what he's truly after.

 

If that's what hes really doing then why? I dont understand. Plus I am new to this fishing for compliments men. I did think that's odd for him to say that. He keeps telling me all these other men are pursuing you and I dont feel good enough for you.

[Britney25]

Hmm.. yeah, if I got such a comment from a girl whom I had never met; that would be a big turn off. Too much, too soon. You are also contradicting yourself with sexual flirting while simultaneously saying you aren’t looking for sex - whatever that means...

 

Huh?? He sent me shirtless photos of himself. Sometimes would send me naughty comments...that was a tease comment..I dont get it.

[Britney25]

Hmm.. yeah, if I got such a comment from a girl whom I had never met; that would be a big turn off. Too much, too soon. You are also contradicting yourself with sexual flirting while simultaneously saying you aren’t looking for sex - whatever that means...

 

So if you're saying my comment turned him off then should I message him and ask if the comment was too much? Or leave it?

[Britney25]

Hmm.. yeah, if I got such a comment from a girl whom I had never met; that would be a big turn off. Too much, too soon. You are also contradicting yourself with sexual flirting while simultaneously saying you aren’t looking for sex - whatever that means...

 

I meant I'm not looking for sex on the first date or so

[MaleIntuition]

Huh?? He sent me shirtless photos of himself. Sometimes would send me naughty comments...that was a tease comment..I dont get it.

 

Well... Your not my kind of girl and he is nothing like me, so I suppose my perspectives are fairly useless here.

 

But it’s not a long distance relationship. You’ve never met the man. That just makes it long distance.

[Britney25]

So now I'm confused. Did the comment turn him off and if so should I message him to apologize?

[Britney25]

Well... Your not my kind of girl and he is nothing like me, so I suppose my perspectives are fairly useless here.

 

But it’s not a long distance relationship. You’ve never met the man. That just makes it long distance.

 

You're right it's just flirting so why no reply on his part?

[MaleIntuition]

So if you're saying my comment turned him off then should I message him and ask if the comment was too much? Or leave it?

 

Hm, nah, I think you should pretend like nothing. Maybe he’s just busy, give him a day or so... If you decide to initiate again I would just talk about something completely different.

[ExpatInItaly]

If that's what hes really doing then why? I dont understand. Plus I am new to this fishing for compliments men. I did think that's odd for him to say that. He keeps telling me all these other men are pursuing you and I dont feel good enough for you.

 

That's a bit of a red flag right there, OP. You likely don't see it as you appear to be a little new to the game (and no snark intended) Coming from a man his age, I would see that as a couple of things: too much insecurity, a veiled attempt to pump you for information about your dating like, or a veiled attempt at getting you to praise him for his looks. He's too old for the ol' "I'm so down on my looks....now here's a photo of me with no shirt! I look great right?!" spin. I would be turned off, personally.

 

You said you're going to be heading to his area anyway right? Is that when you two are planning to meet up?

[Britney25]

That's a bit of a red flag right there, OP. You likely don't see it as you appear to be a little new to the game (and no snark intended) Coming from a man his age, I would see that as a couple of things: too much insecurity, a veiled attempt to pump you for information about your dating like, or a veiled attempt at getting you to praise him for his looks. He's too old for the ol' "I'm so down on my looks....now here's a photo of me with no shirt! I look great right?!" spin. I would be turned off, personally.

 

You said you're going to be heading to his area anyway right? Is that when you two are planning to meet up?

 

 

Hmm honestly when I received those photos I though he wanted me to send something back to him because he did say something like... if I could see you like this I would die. But again. I never sent him anything and he kept still texting me ....then again he sent me shirtless photos. I praised them but asked him why is he doing it and he told me he wants to impress me in a cheap way through them, plus he added although I rather impress you in person. I mean our last convo was cute until I text him that comment and he ignored it. Honestly I though he will love it , smile and say something but crickets haha I dont know if I should initiate something about the comment or just wait for him? Yes we are meeting in his state.

[Britney25]

That's a bit of a red flag right there, OP. You likely don't see it as you appear to be a little new to the game (and no snark intended) Coming from a man his age, I would see that as a couple of things: too much insecurity, a veiled attempt to pump you for information about your dating like, or a veiled attempt at getting you to praise him for his looks. He's too old for the ol' "I'm so down on my looks....now here's a photo of me with no shirt! I look great right?!" spin. I would be turned off, personally.

 

You said you're going to be heading to his area anyway right? Is that when you two are planning to meet up?

 

Even if he is a player why end it now? Doesnt make sense at all. I mean we skyped so I know it him hah

[MidwestUSA]

Hmm honestly when I received those photos I though he wanted me to send something back to him because he did say something like... if I could see you like this I would die. But again. I never sent him anything and he kept still texting me ....then again he sent me shirtless photos. I praised them but asked him why is he doing it and he told me he wants to impress me in a cheap way through them, plus he added although I rather impress you in person. I mean our last convo was cute until I text him that comment and he ignored it. Honestly I though he will love it , smile and say something but crickets haha I dont know if I should initiate something about the comment or just wait for him? Yes we are meeting in his state.

 

Ugh, yes he was fishing for pics of you.

 

And what does 'impress you in a cheap way' even mean? Especially coming from a 40+ year old.

 

If you follow through with this visit, be careful. The more I read, the more I'm not liking him.

[Britney25]

Ugh, yes he was fishing for pics of you.

 

And what does 'impress you in a cheap way' even mean? Especially coming from a 40+ year old.

 

If you follow through with this visit, be careful. The more I read, the more I'm not liking him.

 

He probably was disappointed I didnt send him a hot photo haha. Well not sure if the meeting is going to happen anyway if hes not replying.

[stillafool]

Maybe he's sick of girls just wanting him for his body.

[ExpatInItaly]

Even if he is a player why end it now? Doesnt make sense at all. I mean we skyped so I know it him hah

 

Because if he is a player, he likely is spending time with other women and he doesn't feel the need to respond with any urgency when he's got someone else to attend to. Guys (and girls) who fish for attention online tend to do so when they haven't got anything else going on, and then drop off the radar when someone in their immediate vicinity catches their interest.

 

It would be a crappy thing to do, but it's also possible he's doing this on purpose because he knows it will keep you hooked on him and wondering where he's gone.

 

We don't know if either of the above scenario is the case with him, obviously, but there are a few things that would make me wary about this guy. The fact that you don't live near him and he's probably around 20 years old than you (I imagine?) don't make this a particularly promising lead, especially when you factor in the unsolicited chest and abs shots to a girl he's never met. That's something we tend to grow out of as we get older. The fact that he evidently hasn't isn't great.

 

And no, I wouldn't initiate contact. You tried. He hasn't yet picked up where you left off. It's on him now. And if he does come back around, I'm not sure he's the type of guy you'd want in your life.

Edited October 7, 2018 by ExpatInItaly

[Britney25]

Maybe he's sick of girls just wanting him for his body.

 

Why send me body pics then? And plus we dont know each other that well yet but I did tell him I like his sense of humor .