nospam99 Posted November 30, 2019 Share Posted November 30, 2019 (edited) OP, if you do send an apology message, I think it's fair to mention being drunk. As 'inappropriate' as I think the boobs photo was, if I was the guy at the receiving end of that message, I'd be more likely to accept an apology that included that explanation. It would still be 'bad', but just a little better. Everybody has their own set of values. For me, I tend to distinguish behavior I see as 'classy' from behavior I see as, for want of a better word at the moment, 'slutty'. To me, sending boob pix, vag pix, or, for a guy, dick pix is slutty. Just sayin' Edited November 30, 2019 by nospam99 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 30, 2019 Share Posted November 30, 2019 (edited) Well, that was classy. I have no sympathy left for you. And drinking is no excuse. Maybe that's the problem we've all been overlooking why you can't mature and get past this. Maybe what you need is to go to AA and get sober so you don't wallow as much and do bad things. And yes, this was a bad thing. Edited November 30, 2019 by preraph 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted November 30, 2019 Share Posted November 30, 2019 Well, that was classy. I have no sympathy left for you. 100% Agree with preraph. What did you expect to accomplish by sending such a picture?? Did you think he was going to quit his new job, leave his pregnant wife and come to you?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 (edited) Well, that was classy. I have no sympathy left for you. And drinking is no excuse. Maybe that's the problem we've all been overlooking why you can't mature and get past this. Maybe what you need is to go to AA and get sober so you don't wallow as much and do bad things. And yes, this was a bad thing. Sadly, I’m wondering this too. MH, you say in your recent post that it was the first time you ever drank. But in your very first post in this thread you said you “made drinks.” Was that just chocolate milk? I also can’t actually believe the first time you drank three drinks you did so in a bar alone. That is something women who have never drank find super intimidating! Edited December 1, 2019 by CautiouslyOptimistic 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 https://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/684456-one-year-later-2.html#post7836555 July 27, 2019 “I feel so sick to my stomach, not sure if that’s because of him or the fact that I’ve had wayyyyy to much to drink. “ Today: “I was drunk. I don't drink. I never have ever before in my life.” 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 (edited) MH, You'll regret that lapse in judgement, in the future. I agree with Iana Banana in that you are sabotaging your own healing and escalating your behaviour to grab a reaction out of him. I think you do this because you know its over and as perverse as it is, this holds a connection to him. You're an addict to him. You want your drug, so you'll try to get your high in anyway you can, even if it is damaging to you, him, his life, your life or anything surrounding your world. This action is reflection of your state of mind being in a dark place where you would rather do such a thing and forego your integrity than respect yourself, him and his life and face your reality. That should be a clear cut sign that you need to stay away from this guy in every way possible, to heal yourself back to health. Best you can do now to make it right for yourself is to never do such a thing again. If you want to try to make it right with him, then I would apologize. Admit to being intoxicated, say it was stupid and inexcusable and leave it as that. If you're lucky, perhaps he'll forgive you and won't show his wife and you two can move passed it. But remember, this thing with him is over MH. He's not coming back. He's married, he's with child, he's elsewhere. You are flirting with danger here and if your weak slip ups end up destroying his marriage, it will be your fault and you will know it and will regret it for the rest of your life. So dig deep, find strength and express your pain in healthier ways. - Beach Edited December 1, 2019 by Beachead 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 I met a few people, talked, laughed, drank. I only had 3 drinks. 3 drinks over the course of an evening with friends, I'm not buying you were too drunk to know what you were doing. You sexted a picture of your bare breasts to a married man with a child on the way. You desperately wanted some kind of attention from Jason and now that he is gone, you are going to extremes to keep the lines of communication open in some way, any way. Don't blame alcohol... you did this because you wanted to do it. You wanted attention from Jason and you didn't care if you hurt his wife or your own dignity. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LoverOfDance Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 I’ve been saying there is something fishy about the Op and her stories. It’s a freaking soap opera. A lot of things in this story just sounds ridiculous. Now she’s contradicting herself. When will you guys realize that something isn’t quite right here? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Piddy Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 What she should've done is flashed her boobs at some cute guy at the bar instead. Then taken him home and banged him. Some good indiscriminate sex might be what she actually needs to get her out of her obsession with the married guy. Just half joking, but if this thread is for real she needs to start dating other guys. She seems to enjoy in some weird way the wallowing though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 (edited) MH doesn't track as a troll. A lot of people, especially young women who have been taught that excessive (or any) drinking is sinful, lie about their alcohol consumption, and her story doesn't contain any of the fantastic, egocentric or sex-focused elements that are more common with troll accounts. If this were a troll then she'd be playing a lonely young woman who's been repeatedly rejected by her lifelong crush, and to what end? A fabricator is much more likely to be the hero of their story, or to fill it with high drama and supposedly sexy, Penthouse-esque details. Nothing about this story is very outlandish or strange. MH, you need help. Are you talking to someone? Edited December 1, 2019 by lana-banana Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 ^ Yes, she's talking to a therapist. She has no problem talking. She just isn't listening. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LoverOfDance Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 Iana-banana, I am a Christian and the amount of misconceptions ppl have about Christianity these days really boggles my mind. Drinking is not a sin. It is NOT written any where in the bible that it is. Mistreating your body however is something God doesn’t condone. People on here seriously need to stop treating the Op as though she were a child. Madd hatter, if everything you’ve written on here is true, you need to grow the F*** up. I lost sympathy for you a long time ago. After everything Jason has done, you keep claiming he is a great person. You’ve also said that you don’t regret sleeping with him. You’re glad it happened. I just wonder how long it will take for the posters on here to realize they can’t save you. None of us can save you. If you care for Madd hatter, pray for her. Stop trying to save her. You can’t. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 (edited) I apologize that my language wasn't more precise, but in no way was I talking about literal sins (I was raised Methodist and minored in theology, myself). I'm referring to her community culture, which per her own telling is extremely conservative and seems to traffic heavily in guilt and shame. I'm simply intuiting that she may be lying about her alcohol consumption because she's been told it's wrong. I'm not sure how you can read any of the most recent posts and get the sense that anybody's treating her like a child or being too kind. Everyone is telling her to get a grip, leave him alone and get serious about therapy before it's too late. Edited December 1, 2019 by lana-banana 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 She's lying about it so she can use it as an excuse for her intentionally bad behavior. She intentionally had sex with him when she knew he was already taken, and she'd have sex with him now if he was having any of it, when she knows he is married with a pregnant wife. Seems like her religion hasn't really taken hold. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 If any of this is true I believe that MH knows exactly what she is doing. This woman wants an affair with a married man, she believes he should be hers and she's going to get him no matter how underhanded her actions. It wouldn't surprise me if the next update turns out to be a full on sexting affair! I too believe MH has been babied in this thread, not by everyone but by enough posters who validate her every thought and action. Any attempt to get her to see obsession and help gets push back from those who insist this level of obsession is normal. MH, please stop with the whole religious affect, it's kind of obvious you're only playing lip service to a belief system. If you truly believed you would not be intruding in another woman's marriage. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 (edited) 10 characters Edited December 3, 2019 by HiCrunchy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 Sorry posting issues~ Sending the unsolicited boob pic is NOT cool. Its sexual harassment. I would be so mad if a dude I rejected sent me an unwanted dick pic. Also, he may block u for this. Especially if his wife finds out. But maybe that is for the best. You need to block him girl. Maybe saying this one more time might help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 He needs to block her, but he's friends with her family, so there's no way to be done with it. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 OP, this is the stuff “Fatal Attraction” is made of. You need to stop this behavior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 I don't think MH is coming back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 On 12/4/2019 at 1:19 AM, CautiouslyOptimistic said: I don't think MH is coming back. Oh I think she'll be back, honestly I think she's addicted to the drama of this thread as well as everything else! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Madd_hatter Posted December 15, 2019 Author Share Posted December 15, 2019 Hi all. I’ve decided to detox from him. Total 100% cold turkey detox. That includes posting about him here. Even therapy sessions, I’ve kept the topic of him an absolute minimum. I’m ashamed of my past behavior. I honestly don’t know how I let it get that bad. My therapist says I’m doing better. Even my anxiety and depression. I’m feeling better. I cringe when I think back too much. I hate the person I became. I’m healing. I am. I am so sorry to everyone. I was in a dark, dark place. I don’t ever want to go back there again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 MH, you don't need to apologize to us. We're not the ones affected by your behavior. Focus on actually putting in the work to heal. I notice in the description of your "total detox" you don't mention blocking him, but I hope for your sake you have. This is not the first, second, or even third time you've insisted that you're doing better---which is okay, progress isn't a zero-sum game---but you cannot keep thinking that everything is fine. If you "honestly don't know how [you] let it get that bad" then you are all but guaranteeing it will happen again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 (edited) @MH 4 hours ago, Madd_hatter said: I honestly don’t know how I let it get that bad. That's the part you should focus on and figure out so that you don't let yourself get back to that point. Personally, I believe its because letting him go meant embracing a future without him. The future is uncertain and uncertainty is uncomfortable and unfamiliar and unpredictable. It's scary. It means thinking about yourself, for yourself and realizing that your actions and your choices directly impact you. It means thinking about and then pursuing the things YOU want for yourself outside of wanting to be someone's girlfriend or wife. It means thinking about what YOU want to accomplish in this life...because its important to YOU. So it means loving yourself. You weren't ready to think about all that because you were scared. He represented your childhood which was a time of comfort, familiarity, routine etc. All the things you wanted that could keep you inside that pleasant little world. You chose what felt easier. And just remember that there is more than one way to leave a person. Someone can be right next to you but emotionally gone because they no longer feel it and it can make you feel alone and abandoned. It doesn't always involve them moving away. Jason had already left you emotionally well before he physically left and it was all his choice. He could have had you and knew he could have but he chose someone else. That means you and him were never going to be and his departure from your life was always something that was going to come your way. This is one of those moments in life that generates so much pain that is going to push you into growing and maturing into the next stage of who you will eventually become. That makes this moment special, crucial and absolutely pivotal. If you want out of this, you have to push through it. Don't run from your fears. You power through them. Face them, embrace them and beat them and you're going to come out of this stronger and wiser; all of which, is going to service you when you come across anything in life that scares you. - Beach Edited December 16, 2019 by Beachead 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Madd_hatter Posted January 4, 2020 Author Share Posted January 4, 2020 First I want to wish everyone a happy new year! second I want to say I hate the new look of Loveshack.. third I want to say I’ve taken some time off. I said I was going to do a total Jason detox and that’s what I did. No talking about him, no thinking about him, no social media stalking him, no topless photos, no desperate emails, and no posting here about him. I’ve had my better days, but this week has been bad. My best friends dad passed away unexpectedly the day after Christmas. He lived around 5-6 hour drive away and he was loading in the car with her mom to come and visiting my friend for the holiday. As he was loading the car, he fell to the ground, and died. It was a heart attack. Didn’t even make it to the hospital. My friend was shattered. Still is. I’m trying to be a support for her. at the wake, Jason walks in. I lost it. My heart all but exploded. It literally took everything in me to not run up to him and squeeze him. God I wanted to so badly. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since then. Non stop!!! I can’t stop it. It hurts all over again 😢 Link to post Share on other sites
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