ExpatInItaly Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 It's normal to feel empty after a break-up. It's normal to feel demotivated, distracted and sad. And unfortunately, it's all part of the process of grieving and then eventually moving on. You need to feel those bad feelings in order to truly let go. In some ways, I think you needed this break-up to happen in order to finally see and truly understand that she's not the one for you. You need to delete this girl from your social media. Not doing so is the equivalent of shooting yourself directly in the foot - she's never going to be the girlfriend you want her to be, and being an audience to her antics is only going to hurt you. Link to post Share on other sites
CantTakeMySmile Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 I know it's part of the process. This false hope sucks but im slowly tryna get rid of it. Even if she was to come back, it would never be the same like it once was. She's been posting a lot on her story, but ofc i havent been watching any. Lately, ive just been feeling this emptiness inside of me. Like im trying to be happy but something feels really empty in me. Im thinking about staying off social media for a while and just try to learn how to be alone and happy. Im not trying to date yet, as its still fresh. It just sucks how she moved on soo quickly and is happy. Doesnt even think about me and here i am worrying what shes doin with her new bf. Why not just start deleting all social media from your phone? That was you still have the accounts (if you need them, do you?) but you don't have the same accessibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 You're responding to a spambot. It can't hear you. My bad. Didn't know that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart901 Posted June 29, 2018 Author Share Posted June 29, 2018 Update: I have deactivated all of my social media. Gonna give myself a few months, as i was very distracted by social media and would be tempted. Right now I feel like i have to find myself again and be serious about my career and future goals. Im also trying not so think about her. I realized I was lied to so many times, yet i still stayed with her. I guess I just have to accept the fact that I was decieved and manipulated and her words didnt match her actions. Hell, she prolly never even loved me and i prolly was into her more than she was into me. I guess thats the problem with the first relationship, we assume the other person is into us as much as we are into them and they may say things to show that, but their actions dont match their words. I guess my ego is kind of hurt and i got played and i just need to accept that which im having a hard time doing Link to post Share on other sites
CantTakeMySmile Posted June 30, 2018 Share Posted June 30, 2018 Update: I have deactivated all of my social media. Gonna give myself a few months, as i was very distracted by social media and would be tempted. Right now I feel like i have to find myself again and be serious about my career and future goals. Im also trying not so think about her. I realized I was lied to so many times, yet i still stayed with her. I guess I just have to accept the fact that I was decieved and manipulated and her words didnt match her actions. Hell, she prolly never even loved me and i prolly was into her more than she was into me. I guess thats the problem with the first relationship, we assume the other person is into us as much as we are into them and they may say things to show that, but their actions dont match their words. I guess my ego is kind of hurt and i got played and i just need to accept that which im having a hard time doing Good job! I think this is a fabulous idea! Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart901 Posted July 3, 2018 Author Share Posted July 3, 2018 Quick update: Been strict NC for a week now. I havent been looking at her social media and havent been thinking about her as much. Not going to lie, I've been feeling prety alright. Just hope it stays this way. The only question is, should I delete her from social media or just straight up block her from everywhere? Im at a point where I kind of have resentment towards her after all the crap she put me through. Part of me wants nothing to do with her and block her. Another part of me doesnt want to burn any bridges and just delete her from everywhere (ofcourse im not going to talk to her). Thanks guys 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 Quick update: Been strict NC for a week now. I havent been looking at her social media and havent been thinking about her as much. Not going to lie, I've been feeling prety alright. Just hope it stays this way. The only question is, should I delete her from social media or just straight up block her from everywhere? Im at a point where I kind of have resentment towards her after all the crap she put me through. Part of me wants nothing to do with her and block her. Another part of me doesnt want to burn any bridges and just delete her from everywhere (ofcourse im not going to talk to her). Thanks guys Good job man. It will only improve with time but you'll have to be patient. You're going to have weak moments and temptations at times. Sometimes it might even feel unbearable. Expect that so you aren't surprised. When those days come, just hop on here and drop a post or journal out your thoughts. Stay strong - Beach Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart901 Posted July 3, 2018 Author Share Posted July 3, 2018 Good job man. It will only improve with time but you'll have to be patient. You're going to have weak moments and temptations at times. Sometimes it might even feel unbearable. Expect that so you aren't surprised. When those days come, just hop on here and drop a post or journal out your thoughts. Stay strong - Beach Thank you for the response. Honestly, i just got emotionally drained and finally deciced to let go. Been spending time with family and going to the gym a lot too. Def helps. What would you say in terms of if i should block or delete her? Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 Thank you for the response. Honestly, i just got emotionally drained and finally deciced to let go. Been spending time with family and going to the gym a lot too. Def helps. What would you say in terms of if i should block or delete her? Block her. Someone like her given where she's at in her current life is not someone you want to have a future with. Furthermore, don't expect a genuine friendship from her either. There will be nothing genuine about it. Continuing to talk to her and/or keeping her on social media so that you can see all her updates on how she's enjoying her life and meeting all these guys will hurt you and reopen wounds. The goal here is to get your state of mind back to 100% so that you can start making healthy decisions in your life again. You'll move forward, and grow as a person in the process. Ultimately, that growth will lead you to a future that will make you look back at this period of time and be thankful you did this for yourself. The catch is..you have to put that work in and make it happen for yourself. When you do meet a new partner which you will..she'll be a reflection of all your development and growth...and if she isn't and turns into a nightmare, your added life experiences will help you pick up on it that much better so that you can kick her to the curb and find what's right for you. If you let your ex stick around, she'll rob you of all this. So grow, learn, get better. Become your best self. - Beach 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CantTakeMySmile Posted July 4, 2018 Share Posted July 4, 2018 Thank you for the response. Honestly, i just got emotionally drained and finally deciced to let go. Been spending time with family and going to the gym a lot too. Def helps. What would you say in terms of if i should block or delete her? Can you even block her if you have deactivated your social media? Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart901 Posted July 4, 2018 Author Share Posted July 4, 2018 Block her. Someone like her given where she's at in her current life is not someone you want to have a future with. Furthermore, don't expect a genuine friendship from her either. There will be nothing genuine about it. Continuing to talk to her and/or keeping her on social media so that you can see all her updates on how she's enjoying her life and meeting all these guys will hurt you and reopen wounds. The goal here is to get your state of mind back to 100% so that you can start making healthy decisions in your life again. You'll move forward, and grow as a person in the process. Ultimately, that growth will lead you to a future that will make you look back at this period of time and be thankful you did this for yourself. The catch is..you have to put that work in and make it happen for yourself. When you do meet a new partner which you will..she'll be a reflection of all your development and growth...and if she isn't and turns into a nightmare, your added life experiences will help you pick up on it that much better so that you can kick her to the curb and find what's right for you. If you let your ex stick around, she'll rob you of all this. So grow, learn, get better. Become your best self. - Beach You're right man. Now that im thinking a bit clearly, i feel so stupid for even keeping her on my social media and letting her keep tabs on me. Like this girl literally left me for someone else and told me straight up. On top, her unappreciative behavior turned me off even more. I dont know what i was thinking. But you're right. Right now, im trying to master how to be alone. Once thats achieved, i think ill be better off as i wont be soo attached to a "girl". That was my problem, i got too attached. Def a wake up call. She's a disgusting individual who only cares about her own happiness. Im not gonna let her keep tabs on me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart901 Posted July 4, 2018 Author Share Posted July 4, 2018 Can you even block her if you have deactivated your social media? No, but eventually I'll reactivate it and she'll still be on my friends/followers list. But ima block her as soon as i reactivate it. I think i need a little bit more time to heal, so im not gonna reactivate until then. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart901 Posted July 7, 2018 Author Share Posted July 7, 2018 Been kinda feeling down today. Not a lot but just a little bit. Im distracting myself and not having social media does help, but idk why the moment keeps flashing in my head when she told me she wants to be with him cause he makes her feel more special than i ever did. Those words just hurt. I know nothings wrong with me, but my mind plays games and i think there is. I really dont want to be in a relationship with anyone at the moment. Feel like i need to learn how to be happy alone. I guess my ego is a bit hurt too that she found someone else before i did and moved on that quickly. It makes me feel like what we had meant nothing to her. Sorry im having a moment of weakness. Any advice would be appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart901 Posted July 10, 2018 Author Share Posted July 10, 2018 Welp guys, i was going through my contacts on whatsapp and it seems like she blocked me from everywhere. I checked snapchat cause we were friends on there but i never viewed her stories or anything and she deleted me from there as well. I blocked her from everywhere too now. Im not that affected by her blocking me cause i was getting over her but it just makes me wonder why she would do that. I still have her on Instagram but rn its deactivated. As soon as i reactivate it, ima block her on that too. But it confused me Link to post Share on other sites
CantTakeMySmile Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 Welp guys, i was going through my contacts on whatsapp and it seems like she blocked me from everywhere. I checked snapchat cause we were friends on there but i never viewed her stories or anything and she deleted me from there as well. I blocked her from everywhere too now. Im not that affected by her blocking me cause i was getting over her but it just makes me wonder why she would do that. I still have her on Instagram but rn its deactivated. As soon as i reactivate it, ima block her on that too. But it confused me No need to read anything into it as you can’t know her thoughts. You seemed that you were better without social media. Keep moving. Good job. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 It's best that you have no access to her on social media, OP (and vice versa) Do you really want to start seeing posts and pics of her and new boyfriend? Believe me when I say this is the best thing she could do to close the door, and in turn, help you heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart901 Posted July 11, 2018 Author Share Posted July 11, 2018 It's best that you have no access to her on social media, OP (and vice versa) Do you really want to start seeing posts and pics of her and new boyfriend? Believe me when I say this is the best thing she could do to close the door, and in turn, help you heal. You're right. Its a closed chapter and i wouldnt want her back. The funny thing is i was/am getting over her. She'd been posting stories om snapchat last week but i never saw em. I was getting to a point of indifference with her. I was going thru my recents on snapchat and didnt see her name. Its just weird why she would block me two months after. And 2 weeks ago she was enagaging in small talk with me thru snapchat. Plus, she already told me who she was dating as she was talkng to much crap about him when we first re-met and showed a picture of him. So its not even the fact that shes trying to hide the relationship from me cuz i already knew about it. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 Maybe he doesn't want her staying in touch with you, OP. She might finally be trying to do the right thing and not keep exes in her orbit when she's dating someone. In any event, why she did it isn't important. The critical point is that you needed this door to be closed. She isn't the girl you're going to settle down with, and you have already wasted too much of your heart on her. This needs to be over for good. You are far from indifference, as this thread demonstrates - and that's okay. It takes time. This will help you get there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart901 Posted July 11, 2018 Author Share Posted July 11, 2018 Maybe he doesn't want her staying in touch with you, OP. She might finally be trying to do the right thing and not keep exes in her orbit when she's dating someone. In any event, why she did it isn't important. The critical point is that you needed this door to be closed. She isn't the girl you're going to settle down with, and you have already wasted too much of your heart on her. This needs to be over for good. You are far from indifference, as this thread demonstrates - and that's okay. It takes time. This will help you get there. Yeah the reason doesnt matter. I could understand her deleting me but to block it kinda threw me off but its cool. Also, i hAve my ig deactivated atm but we were following each other. So when i reactivate, should i block her from there or jusr stop following her? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 Yeah the reason doesnt matter. I could understand her deleting me but to block it kinda threw me off but its cool. Also, i hAve my ig deactivated atm but we were following each other. So when i reactivate, should i block her from there or jusr stop following her? Block her completely. Otherwise, you'll wind up doing this crazy song-and-dance with her all over again. There is zero point in keeping her in your life in any capacity. To her, you are only a back-up plan. Remember that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart901 Posted July 11, 2018 Author Share Posted July 11, 2018 Block her completely. Otherwise, you'll wind up doing this crazy song-and-dance with her all over again. There is zero point in keeping her in your life in any capacity. To her, you are only a back-up plan. Remember that. Yeah i agree. Its just so crazy how someone meant so much to you at one point and now theyre just complete strangers and want nothing to do with you. Guess its part of life Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 Yeah i agree. Its just so crazy how someone meant so much to you at one point and now theyre just complete strangers and want nothing to do with you. Guess its part of life It really is. Most exes drift out of each other's lives as time passes. It comes with breaking up. It's not easy at first, but it does get better. I can promise you that, having been through a few significant break-ups myself. It's true that some exes stay in touch; some are able to connect as friends down the line. But even when there's no animosity, people tend to move on. My longest-term exes are men that I wish the best for, but no longer have any contact with. No hard feelings, but also no reason to stay in each other's lives anymore, either. Yes, it's weird at the beginning to realize someone who was once so close to you no longer has the same role in your life. But you will be less hurt by that as time passes, you heal, and meet someone really special with whom you will make new memories. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart901 Posted July 14, 2018 Author Share Posted July 14, 2018 Feeling a bit weird today guys, so thought I'd post here. I'm feeling way better. No contact really does help with healing. At this point, I don't ever want to talk to her ever again or have anything to do with her. I don't even miss her. What is still getting to me is the fact that I was naive and dumb and couldn't see through her bs. I'm more mad at myself for not being smart enough than i am mad at her. I gave her the benefit of the doubt so many times, when I shouldnt have and thats whats getting to me. I cant seem to forgive myself for getting fooled multiple times. Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 (edited) Feeling a bit weird today guys, so thought I'd post here. I'm feeling way better. No contact really does help with healing. At this point, I don't ever want to talk to her ever again or have anything to do with her. I don't even miss her. What is still getting to me is the fact that I was naive and dumb and couldn't see through her bs. I'm more mad at myself for not being smart enough than i am mad at her. I gave her the benefit of the doubt so many times, when I shouldnt have and thats whats getting to me. I cant seem to forgive myself for getting fooled multiple times. You will as time goes and you keep at your life. Remember to find purpose, set your goals, and keep at it everyday. The little wins you achieve every week will add up over time and amount to a large positive change in your life. Everytime you feel weak, or pissed, you put your attention back to your goals. It's alright to take time off too to cry it out, or rest and recuperate, so long as you don't give up on yourself. When you look back 2-3 years from now, you'll think.."Wow..what did I know back then? I'm in such a better place now." That's where you want to be. Make that loss worth it. I can confidently say that many of us have hard time getting passed it. It doesn't feel fair. We feel used. Knowing that someone who supposedly cared about us, took advantage of our trust and our love is a terrible feeling because it reflects on us. So it hits our ego. But often times, when we make mistakes, it's because we don't have the tools or the wisdom to see it coming and so in no scenerio could we have equipped ourself to walk away. If it wasn't her, it would have been someone else to do this to you. Either way, it would happened in some way shape or form. All you have to do now is extract anything you can learn from it and carry forward. Once you learn the lesson and pass the test, you won't find yourself in this position again. Life is learning, growing, becoming better. Stay positive - Beach Edited July 14, 2018 by Beachead Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart901 Posted August 6, 2018 Author Share Posted August 6, 2018 What's up guys. So Ive been feeling way better for the past month. Like i barely thought about her but l today suddenly, all the emotions are coming so strong and i just feel like bawling I dont know why. Idk why I miss her. Three weeks ago I heard from a mutual friend that she and the other guy broke up. I knew it was coming and it kinda made me feel a little better (not because I have hope of getting back). But im just soo confused why these emotions are coming back when I went a whole month and still am in NC. I was doing so good but today for some reason i miss her i dont know why. Thought id post here Link to post Share on other sites
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