How can you tell if a girl likes you? (Humour me)

[SevenCity]

I was talking to the person who made that post, not you.

 

So angry pops, so angry.

 

You hate me because my views differ from yours. You accused the OP of wanting to do a pump-n-dump on this chick because he's a well adjusted adult and would like to get to know her before determining if he wants to marry her.

 

Chill.....

[todreaminblue]

I was about to say the same to you

 

You wanted to be educated, I obliged.

 

I would bet that I've got more experience picking up women than you.

 

leave her alone seven.....how is this helping op....you arent so stop it....deb

[Popsicle]

So angry pops, so angry.

 

You hate me because my views differ from yours. You accused the OP of wanting to do a pump-n-dump on this chick because he's a well adjusted adult and would like to get to know her before determining if he wants to marry her.

 

Chill.....

 

I don't hate you, that's a bit much. I just find you annoying like a gnat buzzing around your face.

[SevenCity]

hmmmmm...you just dont want to mention the word commitment...i feel a big difference between men and boys is they know what they want and they go for it....of course a coupledom doesnt come from one coffee date but what does come is a man and a woman on the same page looking for the same thing...to know that thing....is a good start....

 

i want a guy i potentially see as more than friends to know what he wants before i date them....fi he is looking for a long term relationship then im might be the woman who is right for him....notice i say might be right for him....time will tell that....the beginning starts with two people moving in the same direction wanting the same thing....if its a view to long term commitment...adults should be able to say that openly and without hesitation....its one of the questions i ask even before i accept a date....

 

guys that balk and go nothin serious ya know maybe ...down the track if we get along.........whatever you decide....i tell them nicely...im not the one for you.....i ask men outright ....are you looking for a sexual relationship off the bat....again most are honest.....and say yeah im lookin for some fun not really wanting to be serious...then again its no im not the right one for you and i wish them well....

 

you need to know what you want if you want to find someone travelling in the same direction you are...doesnt mean you buy the ring and propose on a second date.......you just state what you are after when asked and if you are asked...its good to have a decided response in mind so you dont go err ahhh ummm not sure what i want.what ever you want babe......most adults know what they want....and mature minded honest peoples are the ones who should date because they dont waste any ones time money or feelings on a no go..........deb....

 

Interestingly, many people find their best relationships when they are not looking. That's been he story of my life. Actually has happened when I purposely was not looking - looking to avoid.

 

Just because the OP isn't getting ahead of himself, doesn't make him a "boy".

[SevenCity]

I don't hate you, that's a bit much. I just find you annoying like a gnat buzzing around your face.

 

Im touched

[coledvids]

hmmmmm...you just dont want to mention the word commitment...i feel a big difference between men and boys is they know what they want and they go for it....of course a coupledom doesnt come from one coffee date but what does come is a man and a woman on the same page looking for the same thing...to know that thing....is a good start....

 

i want a guy i potentially see as more than friends to know what he wants before i date them....fi he is looking for a long term relationship then im might be the woman who is right for him....notice i say might be right for him....time will tell that....the beginning starts with two people moving in the same direction wanting the same thing....if its a view to long term commitment...adults should be able to say that openly and without hesitation....its one of the questions i ask even before i accept a date....

 

guys that balk and go nothin serious ya know maybe ...down the track if we get along.........whatever you decide....i tell them nicely...im not the one for you.....i ask men outright ....are you looking for a sexual relationship off the bat....again most are honest.....and say yeah im lookin for some fun not really wanting to be serious...then again its no im not the right one for you and i wish them well....

 

you need to know what you want if you want to find someone travelling in the same direction you are...doesnt mean you buy the ring and propose on a second date.......you just state what you are after when asked and if you are asked...its good to have a decided response in mind so you dont go err ahhh ummm not sure what i want.what ever you want babe......most adults know what they want....and mature minded honest peoples are the ones who should date because they dont waste any ones time money or feelings on a no go..........deb....

 

 

Hello Deb - I always like your posts because I can tell you put in a lot of effort. So! Commitment... Hm. I like commitment. I'd want her and I to be exclusive, if things progressed as such. I like her. I am wary of jumping in too quickly for her (she's younger than me, and I know this can bring up certain differences). Although that is not to say that I'd go along with what SHE wants. It would be a mutual decision/progression.

 

This is also all unexpected. As I mentioned, she was persistent in her attempts to talk to me... I was quite content with being single - I'm not sleeping around or anything like that - I was just OK with being on my own. It's funny - they say it comes when you're not looking, and here it is.

 

I want to find out what type of person SHE is. I know she was with her last partner for four years and that is a long time. To me that's a good sign. It shows that she takes relationships seriously. I also do. So that's a tick.

 

There are other factors which I have to think about. We see each other at this place three times a week and if we became a couple.. do we tell others? How do we manage this? What if it doesn't work? Etc. In all honesty I want to sit next to her all the time, but I am respectful of the fact that she has her own friends and I also have mine and it would be quite immature of me to abandon my own friends because of some girl. If it came crashing down I wouldn't want to run back to friends licking my wounds.

 

At the end of the day, I want to spend more time with her. Find out whether she's seeing someone. I would like to be part of a couple with her, yes. I think there's a lot of chemistry there. She makes me feel happy, and I feel good when she is around. I like her. That's all I can really say at this point

[todreaminblue]

Interestingly, many people find their best relationships when they are not looking. That's been he story of my life. Actually has happened when I purposely was not looking - looking to avoid.

 

Just because the OP isn't getting ahead of himself, doesn't make him a "boy".

 

no it doesnt and i didnt say it did....getting ahead of yourself is down on one knees seven...knowing what you want from dating and life with another person ...is simply ...prudent and mature....which is what i expect from men......

what i also notice about the difference between men and boys having adult sons of my own...is that baiting women is out.....for men....for real men anyway....boys however are the ones who pull pigtails and snicker into their hands feeling superior....when all they really want to say is ... pick me......deb

[coledvids]

Interestingly, many people find their best relationships when they are not looking. That's been he story of my life. Actually has happened when I purposely was not looking - looking to avoid.

 

Just because the OP isn't getting ahead of himself, doesn't make him a "boy".

 

It's mad. I was on a six-month self-improvement quest, and I've only made it to three months.

 

Mad how cliches are just accurate, sometimes.

[Jj66]

You can use the word date if you want to. I never use the phrase hang out. I also do not generally use the word date. I just assume it's understood from context. One time a woman asked me afterward if this was a date. I answered by kissing her. Enough said.

[todreaminblue]

Hello Deb - I always like your posts because I can tell you put in a lot of effort. So! Commitment... Hm. I like commitment. I'd want her and I to be exclusive, if things progressed as such. I like her. I am wary of jumping in too quickly for her (she's younger than me, and I know this can bring up certain differences). Although that is not to say that I'd go along with what SHE wants. It would be a mutual decision/progression.

 

This is also all unexpected. As I mentioned, she was persistent in her attempts to talk to me... I was quite content with being single - I'm not sleeping around or anything like that - I was just OK with being on my own. It's funny - they say it comes when you're not looking, and here it is.

 

I want to find out what type of person SHE is. I know she was with her last partner for four years and that is a long time. To me that's a good sign. It shows that she takes relationships seriously. I also do. So that's a tick.

 

There are other factors which I have to think about. We see each other at this place three times a week and if we became a couple.. do we tell others? How do we manage this? What if it doesn't work? Etc. In all honesty I want to sit next to her all the time, but I am respectful of the fact that she has her own friends and I also have mine and it would be quite immature of me to abandon my own friends because of some girl. If it came crashing down I wouldn't want to run back to friends licking my wounds.

 

At the end of the day, I want to spend more time with her. Find out whether she's seeing someone. I would like to be part of a couple with her, yes. I think there's a lot of chemistry there. She makes me feel happy, and I feel good when she is around. I like her. That's all I can really say at this point

 

 

i didnt mean to imply that you were a boy op i mean to encourage you as a man..to go for it....maybe i worded it wrong....and it could be taken that way...what i wrote or tried to do was to motivate you..because i feel that she likes you from what you have written.and thats honest...

 

if you find my posts any less than motivating or encouraging my posts have failed to express my true intentions and thoughts on your situation and on you yourself......i do wish you the very best.i hope it works out ..deb

[coledvids]

You can use the word date if you want to. I never use the phrase hang out. I also do not generally use the word date. I just assume it's understood from context. One time a woman asked me afterward if this was a date. I answered by kissing her. Enough said.

 

In all honesty, I think she knows what's going on. We both ditch our friends to go and get a coffee. She sits in front of me in the cafe and plays with a bit of paper and laughs at every single thing I say. It's really obvious that this isn't just two friends hanging out.

 

The 'date' or 'hang out' debate sometimes I think is very relevant. Sometimes you do have to clarify, that's true.

 

I also overheard someone else asking her for a coffee today... and I overheard her hesitating and saying she was 'busy'. I asked once and she said yes. I'm not sure I need to really clarify what I'm trying to do.

[Popsicle]

You have sense colevids. I think you'll do well.

[Maggie4]

You can use the word date if you want to. I never use the phrase hang out. I also do not generally use the word date. I just assume it's understood from context. One time a woman asked me afterward if this was a date. I answered by kissing her. Enough said.

 

Yes, and this shows the woman doesn't always know it's a date. She had to ask.

 

Men might say, "oh she SHOULD know". But the reality is she doesn't always know. See, for women, just friends is always a possibility.

[Jj66]

Yes, and this shows the woman doesn't always know it's a date. She had to ask.

 

Men might say, "oh she SHOULD know". But the reality is she doesn't always know. See, for women, just friends is always a possibility.

 

Happens for men too. A guy friend of mine met a woman for a hike. He thought it was a group thing because he had only seen her in a group setting and she was a group leader. He was surprised when it was just the two of them on the hike. He had to ask her if it was a date. It was and it turned out fine. They are getting married in June

[Maggie4]

In all honesty, I think she knows what's going on. We both ditch our friends to go and get a coffee. She sits in front of me in the cafe and plays with a bit of paper and laughs at every single thing I say. It's really obvious that this isn't just two friends hanging out.

 

The 'date' or 'hang out' debate sometimes I think is very relevant. Sometimes you do have to clarify, that's true.

 

I also overheard someone else asking her for a coffee today... and I overheard her hesitating and saying she was 'busy'. I asked once and she said yes. I'm not sure I need to really clarify what I'm trying to do.

 

From your description, you can tell that she wants to date you, but you can't tell if she knows YoU want to date HER. The more she's into you, the more she needs you to clarify.

[SevenCity]

It's mad. I was on a six-month self-improvement quest, and I've only made it to three months.

 

Mad how cliches are just accurate, sometimes.

 

From what I remember you had a pretty shi--ty breakup. I'm so glad to see that you are at a point where you are excited about a new girl. Awesome!

 

You've also seemed to maintain your good guy badge. I never really had one until I met my ex - I handed it back in after her lol.

 

And yes, cliches don't come from nowhere - it's because they are mostly true. With this particular one, I think it has more to do with the lack of desperation to find a RL which in turn makes you more attractive. Funny how that works.

 

Now get in there!!!

[d0nnivain]

coledvids

 

If the reason you cross paths isn't something you are economically dependent on to eat & pay the rent, there are work arounds for any "awkward."

 

That's not to say things will be awkward.

 

From what you have written things sound promising. Your pace sounds OK too. Keep interacting with her. Do break the touch barrier. For your next outing whether or not the Q includes the word "date", do figure out if at least a good night kiss is a possibility. That more than anything will tell you if this has potential.

[newyorker11356]

Yes, and this shows the woman doesn't always know it's a date. She had to ask.

 

Men might say, "oh she SHOULD know". But the reality is she doesn't always know. See, for women, just friends is always a possibility.

 

This is why I like online dating. You know it's a date right from the onset.

[LivingWaterPlease]

What's wrong with using the word date? Please educate me.

 

Well, Pops, it may just be a personal thing with me. The short version is that it seems canned and rigid to me.

 

Maybe this is why.

 

We were sixteen years old. He told me a joke once as I stood with my back against the wall in the music hall where he swept floors and cleaned windows while I played the piano for voice students to practice. The joke was suspenceful, the person telling it slowly and methodically, moving ever closer and closer, then suddenly at the punch line jumping into you and kissing you right in the mouth! Which he did. I was stunned and he was embarrassed that he'd done it. It was awwwkkkwarrrd, to say the least....

 

Another time we had been discussing something and he abruptly popped out with, "Let's have a date over it!" In my mind I was like, "huh?" and felt panicked at the same time, hearing the words "we" and "date" coming from him in the same sentence. So, the thought of a guy asking for a date reminds me of him and seems awkward and goofy to me, as he was awkward and goofy and I believe is the only guy who's ever used the word date when asking me out.

 

Also, I like a guy to ask me to do something in a natural way, not to label it as if it needs to be defined. Same as I like a guy to kiss me when it feels right, rather than to ask. I like smooth flowing ways of relating...or energized ways, rather than ways that seem stiff and clinical, such as labeling and defining, etc., in a relationship.

Edited March 7, 2018 by LivingWaterPlease

[act00]

This young lady seems into you, and I think the next step is to ask out in an evening, dinner, a drink, something less daytime and "friends." Of course extend some affection, touching. Hand holding. If she's receptive to hand holding, the kiss will follow.

 

Someone asked me out, one-on-one. I thought date, but then he suggested something at like 2 o'clock on a Sunday...er, not date? That's more friendly, right? There was no touching, which is gentlemanly, and no kiss, so I honestly wasn't sure, but thought he was interested. You talk yourself out of it...why me, and he can't be interested in "that way" sort of thinking. Anyway, I say ask her out for something on the weekend, in the evening, something that if starting out as drinks can advance to dinner, or just ask her out for dinner...during a more "date" time, and agreed with the suggestions not to just ask to "hang out," but ask her out...take her out...I'd like to take you to that movie we were talking about. We can get something to eat before/after. Go for some subtle touching. Go in for the kiss.

 

As for maneuvering around your friends? Well, I think the cat is already out of the bag, but how to manage this can be discussed. She sounds like she wants to talk to her friends about it, so this might not be something that can be contained until you see each other awhile and decide to spill, but it's probably an option I would migrate towards. You don't need to get a group of people at this project getting involved in a budding relationship. Too much room for gossip and "sharing notes." If you spill to your pal, something gives you reservation, he could tell Jane who tells Mary who tells your girl...better to sequester at first. You'll figure it out.

 

Good luck. She seems interested and this is the "get to know you" phase, so have fun with it.

[BarbedFenceRider]

BTW....Is your avatar a pic of you?

 

If it is....I'm gonna hang my hat on the bet she is in hook, line, and sinker....

[coledvids]

Lol, I didn't expect this thread to take off like this.

 

Anyway, I messaged her today a couple of times; not sure if she's busy or what but she doesn't seem that into it - lol. Has only replied once so far and yeah... I won't message again if I don't hear from her.

 

 

I do struggle with reading signs tbh - what if I've just misread the whole thing? How do I get her attention tomorrow without looking weird? So many questions. I'm nervous about seeing her too - lol.

[alphamale]

Lol, I didn't expect this thread to take off like this.

 

you never know which thread is going to "take off". it's all pretty random

[coledvids]

you never know which thread is going to "take off". it's all pretty random

 

Indeed it is

[Aiuta le mani]

Hey man! Thanks for sharing here! Simple question:why do you ask her on a date and tell her straight up that it is a date? Whatever answer she gives you will be a good indicator of whether she likes you or not! if she does not, you can still have a civilized and decent relationship at this place. Just be honest and avoid confusion and you'll know right away!Keep moving forward!

Edited March 7, 2018 by Aiuta le mani