niji Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Another odd thing...when she moved out of my place, she actually left quite a few things behind. Boxes of clothes, shoes, personal items, etc. Any advice what I should do with them? I'm gonna have to call you out on this. You want us to say that maybe she's saved a retreating path for herself. But really, I don't know. Maybe she was in a hurry. Maybe she was gonna come back and get them. Regardless, don't waste half a neuron thinking about this... Throw them out or give them to Goodwill (but doing that may require sorting, which can be traumatic). DO NOT contact her to arrange a pickup/drop off. Just get rid of them somehow and be done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lawyaman2018 Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 I'm gonna have to call you out on this. You want us to say that maybe she's saved a retreating path for herself. But really, I don't know. Maybe she was in a hurry. Maybe she was gonna come back and get them. Regardless, don't waste half a neuron thinking about this... Throw them out or give them to Goodwill (but doing that may require sorting, which can be traumatic). DO NOT contact her to arrange a pickup/drop off. Just get rid of them somehow and be done. I don't really see it as her leaving a retreating path, though she did leave a LOT of her things here. Though, her behavior post-breakup and pre-move out was extremely odd anyway. I feel bad getting rid of her things, but in the same event, I've been NC for 18 days now and I really really don't want to break that. I'm healing and moving on, been on a few dates this week actually, and I just don't want to talk to or see her again because I know it's going to set me back. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I don't really see it as her leaving a retreating path, though she did leave a LOT of her things here. Though, her behavior post-breakup and pre-move out was extremely odd anyway. I feel bad getting rid of her things, but in the same event, I've been NC for 18 days now and I really really don't want to break that. I'm healing and moving on, been on a few dates this week actually, and I just don't want to talk to or see her again because I know it's going to set me back. Pack it up and put it in a storage room. Pay for 1mo storage and mail the key for the lock to her parents. "here's the key for the storage room I have moved the items left by EX to. I have paid it up for one month,so she will either need to pay the room rates herself from here forward or remove the items. Hope all is well with the family...Take care, lawya." Boom..done! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CantTakeMySmile Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Pack it up and put it in a storage room. Pay for 1mo storage and mail the key for the lock to her parents. "here's the key for the storage room I have moved the items left by EX to. I have paid it up for one month,so she will either need to pay the room rates herself from here forward or remove the items. Hope all is well with the family...Take care, lawya." Boom..done! tHIS IS THE BEST IDEA EVER! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lawyaman2018 Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 Pack it up and put it in a storage room. Pay for 1mo storage and mail the key for the lock to her parents. "here's the key for the storage room I have moved the items left by EX to. I have paid it up for one month,so she will either need to pay the room rates herself from here forward or remove the items. Hope all is well with the family...Take care, lawya." Boom..done! Haha I love this idea, totally doing that! Side note: I was weak last night (and slightly buzzed) and checked her facebook/instagram pages. We're not friends, but her's are public. She still has pictures of us all over them, and no pictures or reference of the new guy. And even though we're not friends on SnapChat, she viewed one of my stories yesterday for the first time in a long time. I know all of this probably means nothing, but I find it odd... Link to post Share on other sites
CantTakeMySmile Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Haha I love this idea, totally doing that! Side note: I was weak last night (and slightly buzzed) and checked her facebook/instagram pages. We're not friends, but her's are public. She still has pictures of us all over them, and no pictures or reference of the new guy. And even though we're not friends on SnapChat, she viewed one of my stories yesterday for the first time in a long time. I know all of this probably means nothing, but I find it odd... Please don’t read into social media! Please!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lawyaman2018 Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 Please don’t read into social media! Please!!! Definitely not reading anything into it, just odd. I scrubbed my accounts of every memory of her when we broke up. Link to post Share on other sites
CantTakeMySmile Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Not odd. People are just different. For an ex that still Bothered me, I deleted all photos. For and ex that I was not heartbroken over , I didn’t even bother. Too more effort to do it when it really didn’t matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lawyaman2018 Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 Update: I heard today, without asking, that the new relationship seems to be falling through, and looks like it might end "sooner than I think". Apparently she's having regrets, not liking the guy now that she's getting to know him, regretting somewhat that she's made all these rash decisions, and apparently the new guy is legit crazy (seeing ghosts, etc). Haven't heard a peep from her, but we'll see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Young mind Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Update: I heard today, without asking, that the new relationship seems to be falling through, and looks like it might end "sooner than I think". Apparently she's having regrets, not liking the guy now that she's getting to know him, regretting somewhat that she's made all these rash decisions, and apparently the new guy is legit crazy (seeing ghosts, etc). Haven't heard a peep from her, but we'll see what happens. Great!, but what if after all is said and done, she finds someone else, will the mantra continue, don't you think it's best to move on? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lawyaman2018 Posted March 14, 2018 Author Share Posted March 14, 2018 Great!, but what if after all is said and done, she finds someone else, will the mantra continue, don't you think it's best to move on? Everyone says she'll come back to me, and I think so too. BUT, if she doesn't, I think I'll better be able to move on. Here's why. When she broke up with me, she made clear that it was FOR HIM (the new guy) and that absent him, we'd still be together, and even though she was leaving we might still have a future together, etc. So, that leaves me with some hope that "hey, if new guy doesn't work out, she'd be coming back to me because part of her still wants me". If (when) she leaves new guy, and doesn't come back and dates others or stays single, that will confirm to me that she doesn't want me, not in love with me, etc. So it will no longer be that the new guy just came between us and she ran off and made a mistake, it'll be that she doensn't want to choose me, and I can better accept that knowing that it's over and moving on. Make sense? lol Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 I don't know. It really doesn't sounds like a good relationship even before the cheating. There is too much inequality. Link to post Share on other sites
CantTakeMySmile Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Everyone says she'll come back to me, and I think so too. BUT, if she doesn't, I think I'll better be able to move on. Here's why. When she broke up with me, she made clear that it was FOR HIM (the new guy) and that absent him, we'd still be together, and even though she was leaving we might still have a future together, etc. So, that leaves me with some hope that "hey, if new guy doesn't work out, she'd be coming back to me because part of her still wants me". If (when) she leaves new guy, and doesn't come back and dates others or stays single, that will confirm to me that she doesn't want me, not in love with me, etc. So it will no longer be that the new guy just came between us and she ran off and made a mistake, it'll be that she doensn't want to choose me, and I can better accept that knowing that it's over and moving on. Make sense? lol You still want her after she left you to be with someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
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