Affair partner physically thrashed my husband and had a physical fight with my sons

[Whatnotagain]

Thanks for the suggestions and advice, I know what I have done that’s wrong, I know what I have done that’s awful and I deserve the hate, but I want to do something at least for my husband and kids,

If my husband and kids decide to forgive me, I will do my best to heal them and I know right now everyone is angry and upset with me, and I admit that my deeds were disgusting and shameful,

 

 

My affair partner is fine, on the incident day , after we reached the hotel, we went to the hospital, affair partner got some bruises and injuries on the face, head and on his genitals, and got the treatment.

 

We both are going to our office, and acting normally, but today after office hours, i am planning to see my husband and kids, none of my kids, parents or inlaws have contacted me till this day, i am just wonedring, what going on,and what will happen to my family and our relationship.

 

So you went to a hotel and a hospital with your boyfriend even after he assaulted your husband and your children? Your little girl?

 

Wow!

[usa1ah]

{SNIP} Currently I am staying at a hotel with my affair partner, I want to meet my kids and see my husband in the hospital, but I don’t know how to proceed further, I am scared and worried because cops got involved.

 

 

I do love my family and I love my husband and affair partner both, but now this incident and mess has happened, don’t know how to sort it out.

 

 

Looking for serious suggestions and realistic advice

 

You could go to jail as being apart of the assault against your husband and kids.

 

Why did you flee with the guy that just beat your husband and kids?

 

Good to see you can love someone that has done this to them.

Edited January 25, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
snipped ~T

[usa1ah]

I would have intervened and try to calm down the situation.

 

BS, you ran away with him and now acting like nothing happened. You both need to be in jail. That might help you realize what you have done.

[usa1ah]

At minimum your AP will get changed with A & B against your husband. As well as A & B against your children. Which will land him in jail for a long time. Sense you ran with him you might be charged as well.

[usa1ah]

Sophisticatedlady never said anything about her children striking her. I hope she at least directs her husband to this site so we can help him. He needs to file charges against her other man so he can protect his children. She thinks she can make peace with her family and get them to now accept the other man into their life, delusional. She thinks she and other man are going to start a new Brady Bunch, wrong. Other man is going to beg his wife for forgiveness because this much older boss lady forced herself on him and he feared loosing his job. sophisticatedlady's husband needs to get a restraining order keeping her boyfriend away from his children. The children will never accept him into their lives after what they saw and the beating they took from him. This is going to end very badly for her, nothing like fantasy she imagined, this is her new reality.

 

OM is going to jail. OP might also.

[usa1ah]

But, wouldn't the cops have interviewed OP by now to find out who this guy is? OR at the very least, OP's place of work would be the first place they would check. Surely mugshots were taken too.

 

I would think that if you gravely injure someone else in his own home, then LE would take that seriously. Yet this guy didn't even get a night in jail it seems. It's all very strange.

 

Meanwhile, OP asked what was going on in her family. Yes what we all said before that they likely are planning on disowning her, and also, probably legal action is being taken against her as well. I hope boyfriend gets prison.

 

Not if they don’t know who it is or where to find OP.

[Arieswoman]

OP some of your story doesn't stack up to me.

 

I think there are some things you aren't telling us.

 

I don't believe that your husband "fainted". I've worked in healthcare long enough to know that people don't "faint" during an assault. If they collapse then it's due to a head injury.

 

You also say that your husband is in the hospital with a broken hand and leg. The "broken hand" I can accept as a defence injury -but no-one get a broken leg during an assault unless they fall awkwardly over/against a solid object or they have been struck with a weapon (iron bar/piece of wood etc) on the legs. Or they get kicked by someone wearing shoes with steel toecaps.

 

If your AP was naked then this wasn't a kick injury.

 

So either your AP was a lot more violent than you are telling us or the "broken leg" is BS.

 

I, like others, are also wondering why the police havn't been around to talk to both you and your AP ?

 

Could it be that they have already interviewd your children and are waiting for your husband to regain consciousness?

 

Either way you need to take the advice you have been given ;

 

Cease contact with your AP, and get good legal advice.

[Cephalopod]

I used to box in high school and college, and I can tell you that it is very, very difficult to knock someone unconscious with a single punch. It's not like it is in the movies. Knocking a person unconscious requires that you either hit the person with a very particular kind of punch to a very particular part of the chin or jaw (causing trauma to the nerve plexus at each jaw joint). Only skilled and trained boxers or martial artists are generally taught how to do this correctly, and even then it only works about a quarter of the times you try it.

 

 

The other way to knock someone unconscious is to strike them repeatedly to the head with a hard blunt object causing concussion. If it gets to this point, the person has suffered some form of head trauma or serious brain damage requiring hospitalization.

 

 

So either your boyfriend is some kind of martial artist, or boxer, or he got your husband down and kicked him in the head repeatedly causing brain trauma. If that is the case your husband could be facing a life threatening head injury. A wife who loved her husband would do what she could to be by his side wouldn't she? Well you aren't, you're with your boyfriend ostensibly hiding out from the cops. If that is the case you are aiding and abetting a fugitive and I hope they throw the book at you.

 

 

....Or you are a pimple faced 20-somthing mallpunk living in his mom's basement getting his jollies by jerking the kind people here around with a salacious fairy tale.

[sophisticatedlady]

Finally i met my family and yesterday i was in the hospital to see and meet my husband and kids,

 

 

it was so horrible and one of the worst time i ever had with my family members,

 

 

name calling and so many things heard from my kids,parents and inlaws.

 

 

when i was in the hospital, i dont know after few hours, cops came to the hospital and started questioning me, then we went to the Boston Police Department office and they have questioned me like i was a criminal or a bad women,they gave me the warning ,not to leave the city for few weeks.

 

 

then they questioned about my affair partner and they aksed the details, and wherabout of my affair partner.

 

 

and they caught my affair partner from the office,and boston police department have pressed certain charges,which i heard from my office colleagues.

 

 

 

everyone is asking so many questions,about injuries to my husband,there is a podium and stairs like strutcture on the entrance of my bedroom and there is a base ball and other sports equipment in the cupboard near to the podium and stair like structure,

 

 

affair partner used that baseball to hit on my husband and husband fell on that particular structure.i was hesitant to speak about these things,

 

 

things are so blur and messy, i am worried,how things will be with my family and other friends, what will happen, may be i will get fired from the organization.

Edited January 25, 2018 by sophisticatedlady
update

[sdraw108]

Finally i met my family and yesterday i was in the hospital to see and meet my husband and kids,

 

 

it was so horrible and one of the worst time i ever had with my family members,

 

 

name calling and so many things heard from my kids,parents and inlaws.

 

 

when i was in the hospital, i dont know after few hours, cops came to the hospital and started questioning me, then we went to the Boston Police Department office and they have questioned me like i was a criminal or a bad women,they gave me the warning ,not to leave the city for few weeks.

 

 

then they questioned about my affair partner and they aksed the details, and wherabout of my affair partner.

 

 

and they caught my affair partner from the office,and boston police department have pressed certain charges,which i heard from my office colleagues.

 

 

 

everyone is asking so many questions,about injuries to my husband,there is a podium and stairs like strutcture on the entrance of my bedroom and there is a base ball and other sports equipment in the cupboard near to the podium and stair like structure,

 

 

affair partner used that baseball to hit on my husband and husband fell on that particular structure.i was hesitant to speak about these things,

 

 

things are so blur and messy, i am worried,how things will be with my family and other friends, what will happen, may be i will get fired from the organization.

 

All I see is "me, me, me". It's shocking how you don't appear to show any remorse whatsoever. The only things you seem to feel bad about are the effects on your feelings and the possibility you might lose your job! Nowhere do I see anything like, "I hope my kids are going to be ok", or "I hope my husband is going to make a full recovery", or "I see that my affair partner is a violent thug and I will testify against him in court", or anything else that shows any kind of remorse. It's even worse - you were "hesitant" to give the police a proper account of what happened!

Edited January 25, 2018 by sdraw108

[road]

Finally i met my family and yesterday i was in the hospital to see and meet my husband and kids,

 

 

it was so horrible and one of the worst time i ever had with my family members,

 

 

name calling and so many things heard from my kids,parents and inlaws.

 

 

when i was in the hospital, i dont know after few hours, cops came to the hospital and started questioning me, then we went to the Boston Police Department office and they have questioned me like i was a criminal or a bad women,they gave me the warning ,not to leave the city for few weeks.

 

 

then they questioned about my affair partner and they aksed the details, and wherabout of my affair partner.

 

 

and they caught my affair partner from the office,and boston police department have pressed certain charges,which i heard from my office colleagues.

 

 

 

everyone is asking so many questions,about injuries to my husband,there is a podium and stairs like strutcture on the entrance of my bedroom and there is a base ball and other sports equipment in the cupboard near to the podium and stair like structure,

 

 

affair partner used that baseball to hit on my husband and husband fell on that particular structure.i was hesitant to speak about these things,

 

 

things are so blur and messy, i am worried,how things will be with my family and other friends, what will happen, may be i will get fired from the organization.

 

What is the extent of your BH's injuries?

Has he been able to speak?

[aliveagain]

You deserted your husband after he suffered an attack by your boyfriend with a baseball bat? You chose to runaway with the man that beat him unconscious not even making sure he was able to get medical treatment? You did nothing to protect him from injury, your children had to come to his rescue. You allowed them to be hurt, your young daughter is more of an adult then you are. Just so you know, a baseball bat is considered a weapon. By deserting your family after such a brutal attack with the attacker you are now an accomplice. They are trying to assess the level of your involvement to see if the charges should be levied equally against you and your boyfriend. You stayed with your family's assailant for several days after their attack, that makes you guilty.

 

You very likely will be fired, the insurance company will be coming after you for medical expenses because your husband will probably be in a wheelchair for a while. He may be unable to work as he did so very likely he will have to take a medical leave, all these costs will be your boyfriends and your responsibility to compensate the insurance company. There is a good chance you will do jail time on top of that, running away and hiding with your family's assailant makes you a party to it. Your life is about to get really, really ugly. Your probably going to cause severe financial consequences to your family, your father and mother included. []

 

[]

Edited January 25, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Topical content

[William]

Good afternoon

 

Two major reminders...

 

1. Always deem any thread posted on LoveShack.org to be valid unless and until moderation makes a determination otherwise. Respond to the topical content or move on.

 

2. Language. We've long had a language policy here and it's announced at the top of every forum now for over two years. I suggest reviewing it.

 

Thanks!

 

LoveShack.org Community Forums - Announcements in Forum :

 

Been around awhile, over two years and with over 117,000 views. Seven members getting suspended for ignoring both the policy and the quoted directive is pretty unprecedented but fear not, I'll keep suspending people until there's no one left posting or the rules are followed.

 

Oh, one more no-brainer directive - civility and respect, use it or lose your posting privileges. Use that bright mind to test moderation and the results will be what they are.

 

Morning announcement concluded.

[Maraud3r]

Thanks for the suggestions and advice, I know what I have done that’s wrong, I know what I have done that’s awful and I deserve the hate, but I want to do something at least for my husband and kids,

If my husband and kids decide to forgive me, I will do my best to heal them and I know right now everyone is angry and upset with me, and I admit that my deeds were disgusting and shameful,

You go from this

My affair partner is fine, on the incident day , after we reached the hotel, we went to the hospital, affair partner got some bruises and injuries on the face, head and on his genitals, and got the treatment.

to this. And all it leaves me wondering is, are you actually being serious here? WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT THIS GUY! You most certain shouldn't for crying out loud. Not only does it put what you said right above it to the lie, it makes me think your family is possibly underreacting!

 

Your family caught you with the AP, the AP then physically assaulted your husband out of nowhere. He took him completely by surprise and thrashed them. You said at some other point you "would have intervened" but you didn't. He broke several bones before your sons jumped on him. Bot of whom got injured in the fight and your reaction was

I never saw that my sons can do such things

You mean physically defend their father whom a strange man you brought into your house was possibly beating to death at that time? Yes, that's absolutely horrible! Thank you for telling us that after he broke several bones in your husbands body and injured both your sons and daughter he was fine and you went to the hospital with him. After you fled from your home with him to a hotel, being more worried about him than your family.

 

what going on,and what will happen to my family and our relationship.

What's going on is that your behaviour throughout this entire situation was abysmal and your relationship will be non existent if they have any lick of sense. That guy ASSAULTED your husband, broke several bones and would have possibly beaten him to death. He then injured both of YOUR SONS and YOUR DAUGHTER and you fled with him from the scene and took him to the hospital. You not only had an affair, you sided with a man who physically assaulted your family and children in a brutal manner and exclaimed surprise and dismay at your sons intervening/fighting back.

[BTDT2012]

What's best for your husband and kids is up to them to decide. Most likely, it will be divorce. Don't fight him over the terms. And get yourself into therapy to figure out why a random dude matters more than your family.

[Arieswoman]

OP,

 

affair partner used that baseball to hit on my husband and husband fell on that particular structure.i was hesitant to speak about these things,

Just as I thought ^^^ more to this than meets the eye.....

 

Do you finally realise that your AP is a violent thug with an anger management issue?

 

And you stood by while he knocked 7 bells of $h!£ out of your husband, the father of your children?

 

And have you taken the advice given to keep away from him and get legal advice about all this?

 

And after you have taken some legal advice, please get some therapy - your moral compass is so boxed that it's spinning on its davits.

Edited January 25, 2018 by Arieswoman

[JuneL]

And where was your affair partner's wife in all this? Has she already filed a missing person report, since he went into hiding in the hotel?

[Far]

Something is seriously disturbing about your reaction to the responses you've been given. It seems to me like you're not listening. Are you just trolling with this thread? I don't know anyone in your position who does **** like this, comes to this site and completely ignores EXTREMELY IMPORTANT advice from Loveshack members.

 

Your AP ASSAULTED your husband and YOUR CHILDREN. How in the hell can you be so delusional as to expect your family to welcome you after not only putting your husband, but YOUR EFFING KIDS in danger! You need to understand that they see you as both a horrible wife and mother. They want nothing to do with you. You've scarred your children for the rest of their lives. My heart breaks so much for your "family", because you certainly can't grasp the level of damage you have done.

 

You're going to be looking back 10 years from now, and regret every bad decision that you've made that put your children at risk of grievous harm. By then they will still resent you, maybe want to forgive you for their sakes, but still want nothing to do with you. You will grow old knowing that you ruined your own family and you chose your deadbeat AP over them. Your A is a fantasy, nothing more. Once that fantasy dissipates and you're left with so many people hating your guts, you'll have no one to blame for choices but yourself. The sad thing is by the time you come to terms with it all, it will be too late.

[GoldenR]

My only advice is to divorce your H and give him EVERYTHING.

 

Any chance you had to fix things with your family disappeared when you did the same with your AP and hid out in a hotel with him.

 

In time, a very long time, you may repair your relationships with your children, but there's also a possibility that that never happens. I say this from experience as my XWW lied to her AP to in order to get him to instigate a fight with me. To this day, some 14 years later, her relationships with our 2 daughters (that she also abandoned to be with the AP) is still strained.

 

Your answers to the questions posed to you on this thread show that you could pretty much care less about the well being of your family. Leave them alone, and let time attempt to heal things. And in that time, you'll probably become truly remorseful eventually. At least, I hope so.

Edited January 25, 2018 by GoldenR

[aliveagain]

Is English your first language? I need to know you understand the seriousness of your situation because we now know a weapon was used in the attack on your family. Your choice to leave your family with the other man/attacker puts you in a very bad place. You need to get a lawyer that has experience with weapons charges. This is not just about infidelity, this is about you possibly being charged with a very serious crime. This could change your ability to be bonded, your credit, your financial situation, type of job you can hold, your marriage and there is a chance you may be incarcerated.

 

Even if your family doesn't press charges, the fact that a weapon was used makes it a police matter. This is a felony. No matter what my personal views of your behavior are, you need to be advised to get legal help. You also need to get independent counselling to find out why you behaved the way you did. There may be a physiological condition that your not aware of that is causing you to act the way you are.

[Bryanp]

Please do not say you love your husband. Your actions show clearly the opposite.

 

Your lover almost kills your husband and fight with your children

because you had to screw him in your home and afterwards you go off with your lover.

 

Your actions have shown for the past two years how you had no problem humiliating, disrespecting and putting your husband at risk for STD's.

 

How would you feel if your husband brought his lover to your home to screw in your bed?

 

What happened to you to allow you to act in such a despicable manner toward your husband and your family?

[Buckeye2]

My husband along with sons and daughter came with food and gifts in the afternoon to surprise me as my husband got promoted this January.

 

My husband leg and hand are fractured and he is seriously injured, and currently hospitalised.

 

Now your husband can't work because of your affair. I hope he doesn't lose his promotion.

[Whatnotagain]

Sophisticatedlady. I don’t see you identifying with your husband as your husband. All your loyalty and allegiance appears to be with your affair partner and you seem to identify with him as your husband. Your marital partner is your husband in name only, the guy who has been supporting you (I know you work as well), like a father would, but not a husband. After a two year affair with the AP you have completely detached from your husband and your children and your AP is now your pseudo-husband. I imagine prior to this event that all of your thoughts about the future revolved around the AP and not your family. Clearly you left the marriage and family some time ago as your actions show that they have no real value to you.

[sophisticatedlady]

MY husband is better, he will be able to walk and move after 1 month.

 

 

and kids are doing well,they are going to school,as usual,

 

 

the reason , i am writing here is ,today i got the termination letter because of affair with colleague and suspicion on helping my affairpartner on that day incident and staying in a hotel,

 

 

cops have informed my organization,about those incidents.

 

 

my mind is tossed up now,i will be going to my home to collect my clothes,some valuables, and other necessary items,

 

 

I will be staying in the rented house, for that i have to finalise the house.

 

 

till, how long, i dont know, but i have to start applying for jobs and as far as lawyer is concerned, i have an appoitment with one of the lawyer for tomorrow,

 

 

 

My kds have unfriended and blocked me from instagram,facebook,snapchat,pinterest,quora,whatsapp.

 

 

i dont know, how i am going to cope up with this situation.

 

the way my family is treating me,i feel like a loser and pathetic person.

[lana-banana]

My kds have unfriended and blocked me from instagram,facebook,snapchat,pinterest,quora,whatsapp.

 

You communicate with your children via Quora??? Sorry, of everything in this heinous story, that's maybe the weirdest part so far.

 

What is going on with your affair partner? How has he escaped arrest? Surely the local authorities have to press charges?