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Affair partner physically thrashed my husband and had a physical fight with my sons

sophisticatedlady

By sophisticatedlady
in Infidelity

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basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

 

the way my family is treating me,i feel like a loser and pathetic person.

 

Your family is doing exactly the right thing. Closing ranks is how we deal with someone who's actions are a threat to the well being of the family.

  • Like 8
Clay Established Member

Clay

Posted
Posted

Its great that your husband is doing better. I am really surprised you were even allowed to see him. In most cases the hospital staff will block people from coming in that were involved in the attack. This does include family members and believe it or not commonly spouses.

 

The part about you already loosing your job is kind of hard to believe. Most companies take time to sort out all the facts unless there were other underling issues or your affair was public and they have a stick policy on it.

 

This is going to be painful to hear but your going to need to give your children time. Right now your the enemy. The OM is just a figure in there mind. You brought him in to their lives. You allowed him to hurt their father. You then sided with him and left to be with him instead of defending your husband and your children.

 

I doubt seriously you will be able to repair this relationship if you continue to see the OM. They wont even look your way if your not going to be accountable for your actions.

 

You now thinking about losing your job, family, and your home is a little late. This is something you should have given serious thought to prior to being in a affair.

 

Your right to feel all the things you listed. Its because you demonstrated all the things those people do. This is not remorse this is regret. If you want to try to save some kind of a connection to your children you better change everything your doing right now. If you don't want that then you should continue in what ever path you feel is best.

 

If you really want to move forward in a healthy way get away from the OM and get into counseling. Give your husband a very generous divorce. Do not fight him for anything. This doesn't mean you have to give up everything but if you come across as more selfish than you have already shown your just going to make things more difficult for you.

 

 

If you choose a negative path then exact negative things to happen to you.

 

C

  • Like 2
Chilli Established Member

Chilli

Posted
Posted
He should face charges. This man assaulted your sons so you should be pretty to tear his head off.

 

 

Yeah , and yet you ran away with him after that, in front of them to boot , and your husband.

l better stop right here.

  • Like 3
harrybrown Established Member

harrybrown

Posted
Posted

Have you stopped all contact with the OM?

 

It might be a good idea to stop all contact with the OM. He does seem to have a temper.

 

Does his wife know about the A?

 

Did he get fired?

 

Has he been arrested?

Chilli Established Member

Chilli

Posted
Posted
MY husband is better, he will be able to walk and move after 1 month.

 

 

and kids are doing well,they are going to school,as usual,

 

 

the reason , i am writing here is ,today i got the termination letter because of affair with colleague and suspicion on helping my affairpartner on that day incident and staying in a hotel,

 

 

cops have informed my organization,about those incidents.

 

 

my mind is tossed up now,i will be going to my home to collect my clothes,some valuables, and other necessary items,

 

 

I will be staying in the rented house, for that i have to finalise the house.

 

 

till, how long, i dont know, but i have to start applying for jobs and as far as lawyer is concerned, i have an appoitment with one of the lawyer for tomorrow,

 

 

 

My kds have unfriended and blocked me from instagram,facebook,snapchat,pinterest,quora,whatsapp.

 

 

i dont know, how i am going to cope up with this situation.

 

the way my family is treating me,i feel like a loser and pathetic person.

 

 

Poor you. life is so unfair.

  • Like 4
doyathinkso Established Member

doyathinkso

Posted
Posted

 

the way my family is treating me,i feel like a loser and pathetic person.

 

 

And so you should!!

  • Like 2
Whatnotagain Member

Whatnotagain

Posted
Posted

The part about you already loosing your job is kind of hard to believe. Most companies take time to sort out all the facts unless there were other underling issues or your affair was public and they have a stick policy on it.

C

 

I have seen this happen before on two separate occasions at places where I was employed. Employer was notified of an affair between two coworkers and someone was let go by the end of the day; usually the one who was of least importance to the company. Last employer fired a girl who's job it was to go from business to business checking printer consumables and record pages printed on MFP's. She was pretty expendable (and pretty too) but the top sales person, not so much expendable.

 

It also wouldn't help to have the police inquire about her and the other employee's whereabouts in relation to the crime that was committed. She did say that they worked together.

road Established Member

road

Posted
Posted
MY husband is better, he will be able to walk and move after 1 month.

 

 

and kids are doing well,they are going to school,as usual,

 

 

the reason , i am writing here is ,today i got the termination letter because of affair with colleague and suspicion on helping my affairpartner on that day incident and staying in a hotel,

 

 

cops have informed my organization,about those incidents.

 

 

my mind is tossed up now,i will be going to my home to collect my clothes,some valuables, and other necessary items,

 

 

I will be staying in the rented house, for that i have to finalise the house.

 

 

till, how long, i dont know, but i have to start applying for jobs and as far as lawyer is concerned, i have an appoitment with one of the lawyer for tomorrow,

 

 

 

My kds have unfriended and blocked me from instagram,facebook,snapchat,pinterest,quora,whatsapp.

 

 

i dont know, how i am going to cope up with this situation.

 

the way my family is treating me,i feel like a loser and pathetic person.

 

I understand you posting about how things affect you.

 

I cannot understand how you still think well of your OM.

I also cannot understand how vague you are about what

happened to your BH and children, and what is happening

with your BH's medical condition, his job, his promotion,

and what has your BH had to say you in the hospital, or if

your BH has gone NC with you, or if you have or plan to

continue seeing your BH in the hospital.

 

You have not even talked about if you have ended your

affair with the OM and gone NC with him.

 

You are showing a lack of empathy and in denial that

you have done anything that bad.

 

You need to see a psychologist.

  • Like 1
aliveagain Established Member

aliveagain

Posted
Posted

I have seen the Company President call an executive out of a Board meeting, never to see the executive again. He was literally escorted out of the building. I was in the Board meeting and witnessed the event. The executive was found out, he was having an affair with a lesser employee and used company facilities for their hook ups. He was in his 50's and married, she in her late 20's married with a 11 month old baby. Apparently someone walked in on them and left without their noticing and reported the event to management. She had her baby with her in a car seat in the room while she had sex with the executive. Sick but it does happen.

  • Like 3
JS84 Established Member

JS84

Posted
Posted

You sound extremely self centered. More worried about yourself than anything. Not the pain and destruction you've caused your family. You're delusional if you think they're going to welcome you back anytime soon, if ever.

 

If you want to do right by your family, grant your husband an easy divorce, leave your kids alone, get therapy and try to think about people other than yourself.

 

Oh and maybe don't run off with the guy you've been cheating with for 2 years after he assaults your husband and children. That was probably one of the most pathetic things I read in your story. You really need a therapist.

  • Like 1
GoldenR Established Member

GoldenR

Posted
Posted

Don't you think getting a lawyer might be a show of defiance in your H's eyes. Or do you not want to be with him anymore?

DKT3 Established Member

DKT3

Posted
Posted
Don't you think getting a lawyer might be a show of defiance in your H's eyes. Or do you not want to be with him anymore?

 

Her husband would be an absolute fool to even consider talking to this woman again, let alone thoughts of reconciliation. Her getting a lawyer is smart, two in fact, a divorce one and criminal she will likely need both.

  • Like 7
RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

Posted
Posted
Don't you think getting a lawyer might be a show of defiance in your H's eyes. Or do you not want to be with him anymore?

 

Why would the husband want her? I don't think she is going to have a choice to be with him anymore.

 

Something are too terrible to be forgiven.

  • Like 8
WilyWill Established Member

WilyWill

Posted
Posted (edited)

Certainly not bizarre to have your husband walk in on your affair. But her reaction and postings are... incomprehensible. Did she really watch a man almost beat her husband to death with a baseball bat, and then run off with the man? And took him to the hospial to make sure he was okay? Do humans really do this kind of thing? It boggles the mind.

 

Now she wants to "sort it out" as if she's dealing with a company who minorly inconvenienced her by overbilling her by a few dollars.

 

It's positively unbelievable. She hasn't grasped yet that her husband and children have completely and permanently disowned her as they sit in a hospital praying dad will walk again someday. "Sort it out.." LOL good luck with that.

 

I get the impression that in a few weeks she'll be downright angry that her family is treating her "unfairly" or something in that vein.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
quote of deleted post ~T
  • Like 8
BMI03 Established Member

BMI03

Posted
Posted

I think best advice here is to just give distance. Even if members of your family want to have you in their life some day, today is not that day.

 

You need to give them LOTS of space so they can just start the process of healing.

 

It’s going to be a long road.

  • Like 1
wmacbride Established Member

wmacbride

Posted
Posted (edited)
MY husband is better, he will be able to walk and move after 1 month.

 

 

and kids are doing well,they are going to school,as usual,

 

 

the reason , i am writing here is ,today i got the termination letter because of affair with colleague and suspicion on helping my affairpartner on that day incident and staying in a hotel,

 

 

cops have informed my organization,about those incidents.

 

 

my mind is tossed up now,i will be going to my home to collect my clothes,some valuables, and other necessary items,

 

 

I will be staying in the rented house, for that i have to finalise the house.

 

 

till, how long, i dont know, but i have to start applying for jobs and as far as lawyer is concerned, i have an appoitment with one of the lawyer for tomorrow,

 

 

 

My kds have unfriended and blocked me from instagram,facebook,snapchat,pinterest,quora,whatsapp.

 

 

i dont know, how i am going to cope up with this situation.

 

the way my family is treating me,i feel like a loser and pathetic person.

 

I just don' get this. You pay only lip service to what you have done to your husband and children. your posts are all about you, with a smattering of concern for your ap.

 

Do you even understand what this has done to your children? Rather than stand up to this man and fight to get him away from them before they could get hurt, you chose him.You chose the man who assaulted your husband and them. He was your top priority, beyond saving your own rear end.

 

I cna't speak for all moms, but any that I personally know ( or have had any interaction with) would have fought this this guy with whatever they could get their hands on if he dared to even lay finger on one of their children, grown or not. That is a normal reaction. Yours was to protect this guy over and above your own fmaily.

 

Why? What made you make that decision? Before you try and reconnect with your kids, please try and figure that out, as if you don't you will only hurt them even more.

Edited by wmacbride
  • Like 6
standtall Established Member

standtall

Posted
Posted

Well sophisticated lady, you certainly have an unpleasant road ahead of you. I'm not sure why you posted here unless you want the hate as a form of penance, but you're here.

 

With that aside, regardless of the guilt you feel, your sins, and other people's dislike of you, divorce in Mass., like the rest of the country, is no fault. You are entitled to half of all assets gained during the marriage period. Do not forfeit what you are legally entitled to during your remorse period. Furthermore, unless you are under a PPO, I would recommend you do not move out of your house. Actually, you need to lawyer up ASAP.

Mr Blunt Established Member

Mr Blunt

Posted
Posted

Sophisticated lady

 

 

If your story is real, then your actions and decisions that you have described in this thread reveal a woman that has very low character and extremely low thinking on how to have good relations with your family.

 

 

You sacrificed your husband and children for your selfish perverted desires. You will never heal the damage that you have done with your family. You may get a little improvement if you are lucky but your chance of having a close relationship with your family is gone.

 

 

Your best course of action at this point is to diligently work on improving your thinking and character for the rest of your life. I never say there is NO hope and for you there is a little hope; just do not expect to have a close relationship with the family that you betrayed because you will be very disappointed thinking that what you have done can be fixed.

 

 

Get all the help that you can because the damage is severe.

  • Like 4
Whoknew30 Established Member

Whoknew30

Posted
Posted

I’m a pretty open minded person & often see both sides of a situation to fault...& I have to say your family seems better off without you.

 

Marriages end, affairs & divorce can get messy but not physically protecting your children (IMO) is unforgivable. Any parent that allows abuse towards their kids & then goes into hiding with the man that caused it just doesn’t deserve their kids respect or deserves being their parent at all.

 

Not wanting to be with their dad is one thing but how can they ever trust you as a mother again when while their in the hospital you’re shacking up with a guy that pulled a baseball bat...& lying about it!!! let them go without incident & put yourself in mental residential program.

  • Like 4
Davey L Established Member

Davey L

Posted
Posted

One good thing from this shocking story is that all us betrayed wives/husbands on here can at least now appreciate that their spouse perhaps does have some redeeming qualities and be grateful that they did not behave as badly as this.

  • Like 5
Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted
One good thing from this shocking story is that all us betrayed wives/husbands on here can at least now appreciate that their spouse perhaps does have some redeeming qualities and be grateful that they did not behave as badly as this.

 

My ex would have done something like this but the guy she was in bed with ran out of the house faster than I have ever seen anybody run when I caught them. She did the assaulting herself though.

  • Like 2
HadMeOverABarrel Established Member

HadMeOverABarrel

Posted
Posted

 

As for forgiveness, you have to want to be forgiven for it to do anything for you... [] if you don't understand what you did and how you injure yourself or others...It falls flat and upon deaf ears. You have a long way to go with that one baby!

 

This is one of the best things I've read on LS (generally speaking and not just the instant case).

  • Like 1
HadMeOverABarrel Established Member

HadMeOverABarrel

Posted
Posted
I'm not sure why you posted here unless you want the hate as a form of penance, but you're here.

 

:laugh: Don't know why but found this amusing. The story in OP's original post is not amusing though, but rather shocking.

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

Posted
Posted

Start with counseling. Fix what's broken inside of you. Something is really wrong! You went from a woman your husband married, being a mother, creating a family unit and a life with your family to allowing your AP to beat the living crap out of your husband and kids. Find a counselor you can open up to and trust so you can get your life back. It may not include your husband but it could still involve your kids.

 

You have to prove to everybody (not only your husband and kids but to your OWN parents, siblings and inlaws too) that you can be trusted and trust worthy again. Only you can make the necessary changes to make that happen and do it in actions not words. You can be the woman you used to be before the affair... But only if you want it bad enough.

 

Are you going to end your affair or are you in love with your AP? There's no point in trying to salvage your marriage if you still want an affair.

 

You've hit pretty much rock bottom. Losing your job, having to move, losing your husband and children as well as immediate family and in laws. That's a lot to deal with so don't sit and do nothing. Fix your life and make it better.

  • Like 2
DKT3 Established Member

DKT3

Posted
Posted
Start with counseling. Fix what's broken inside of you. Something is really wrong! You went from a woman your husband married, being a mother, creating a family unit and a life with your family to allowing your AP to beat the living crap out of your husband and kids. Find a counselor you can open up to and trust so you can get your life back. It may not include your husband but it could still involve your kids.

 

You have to prove to everybody (not only your husband and kids but to your OWN parents, siblings and inlaws too) that you can be trusted and trust worthy again. Only you can make the necessary changes to make that happen and do it in actions not words. You can be the woman you used to be before the affair... But only if you want it bad enough.

 

Are you going to end your affair or are you in love with your AP? There's no point in trying to salvage your marriage if you still want an affair.

 

You've hit pretty much rock bottom. Losing your job, having to move, losing your husband and children as well as immediate family and in laws. That's a lot to deal with so don't sit and do nothing. Fix your life and make it better.

I don't really get the impression that she is all that upset, I mean she is shacked up with her boyfriend. Seems like it's enough to keep her happy right now.

  • Like 2
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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