Paint class as a second date?

[jimbo]

I think you're both playing it a little too cool to be conducive to becoming closer.

 

I would had thought to see a bit more interest from her end. It feels I am doing all the reaching out. Correction, I am doing all the reaching out and planning dates. I was surprised she was up for sex several times last week (she pushed it, not me, but not complaining). I would had thought that would helped her to open up and connect. I am trying here but need some sign from her. I am now told sex is not a big thing anymore (boy have times changed). When I've dated or was seeing a woman in the past, they usually reach out to say hi; especially after being intimate. So, I am just stepping back and see how it progresses. I will reach out again this week to see how she feels and see if she wants to do something next weekend.

 

If I saw more interest when I'm not with her, I'd do more reaching out and coming around during the week. However, I do not want to look needy or annoying. I've done that before, being too available and waiting for a woman's beck and call. Usually, a woman is more open and communicative after spending time together. At least, that was what I've found in my past relationships. Perhaps I am mistaken. I swear, I feel like I am walking in a coal mine and my flashlight just went out.

[lovephule]

Well, you seem like a good guy and I hope it works out how you want it. I get the impression that she assumes you spent V Day with someone else, and that the cancel was based on that assumption. Pure speculation, of course.

 

I understand your rationale. Really. I get it. At the same time let's put things in perspective. This woman was-- in her own words-- "freaking out" at having sex with you after four dates. She's since brought up the prospect of your seeing someone else repeatedly. Hardly seems like the self-assured type who's going to be hitting you up just to say hey anytime soon. I'm not saying this is a right or wrong way to be. Neither am I saying you're right or wrong to be put off by it.

[jimbo]

Well, you seem like a good guy and I hope it works out how you want it. I get the impression that she assumes you spent V Day with someone else, and that the cancel was based on that assumption. Pure speculation, of course.

 

I understand your rationale. Really. I get it. At the same time let's put things in perspective. This woman was-- in her own words-- "freaking out" at having sex with you after four dates. She's since brought up the prospect of your seeing someone else repeatedly. Hardly seems like the self-assured type who's going to be hitting you up just to say hey anytime soon. I'm not saying this is a right or wrong way to be. Neither am I saying you're right or wrong to be put off by it.

 

It's okay to be a bit nervous, I do not mind that. As for V-D, I do not want to rush things and try to look like I am pushing her for a commitment. I was working on V-D, didn't take anyone out. I came on heavy after my divorce with a woman, and I pushed her away. I am basically letting the woman set the pace. I did discuss this with my sister for a bit. She thinks it was a test. Once, because I didn't do what she possibly expected (norm. for most guys) where you'd shower her with attention after sex and/or ask her out of V-D. The other possibility is to see how I'd react to her cancelling. My sister tells me it's a standard test many women use to test the guy and see how he responds. It's a way to weed out the disparate and controlling ones.

 

So, I gave her the benefit of the doubt, and followed up the next day. She said nearly immediately "sooooo much better". I then said I'd like to see you again. Strangely, she replied a few hours later and said that's cool. She stated she can do Friday instead of Saturday. I said fine. However, I invited her over to my place so I can cook for her, she agreed pretty fast. So, all in all, it's a whirlwind of a couple of weeks. I still do not know where she stands. I assumed, if she was going to blow me off, she had the option to do so right there. Part of me thinks she will cancel again, but we shall see. This one is certainly confusing on how to proceed. So, I select the option to proceed with caution.