MaleIntuition Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 Sounds good. Bit strange that she waited so long though. I would advice against a movie-date this early though - hard to talk during that. Link to post Share on other sites
newyorker11356 Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 Sounds good. Bit strange that she waited so long though. I would advice against a movie-date this early though - hard to talk during that. Eh, I don't think it's that bad quite frankly. Especially if they go for drinks and/or food prior to the movie. They can talk during that before heading to the movie. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisisIt606 Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 I've read all of these posts. I think she seems interested until someone better comes along. I fear that you two may have different expectations for the longevity of this relationship. You seem to be quite smitten by her and eager (eager seeming to us, but not eager seeming to her) to see her. She kinda keeps you at an arms length and when it's convenient for her to do so she will reply/see you etc. She doesn't seem to have a great deal of respect for you time ( hence the 7pm crazy golf text). OR this could just be how she operates and she's more of a "head in the clouds" kinda girl which would drive me NUTS personally because I enjoy plans and not being notified of a definite date a few hours in advance. She apparently reaches out when it's convenient for her/she wants to.. so I would say sit back and let her come to you with 3rd date plans whether it be the movie or something else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sbla22 Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 I can see where you're coming from - I think she might be a bit head in the clouds after seeing her twice now. I didn't text her all day after our crazy golf date then she reached out first last night and asked me about a football match I was going to. We had 3 or 4 texts back and forth then I stopped responding. Thinking of no contact again until sunday night then will ask her what her schedule is like this week and try arrange the third date. Might try for a friday night date. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sbla22 Posted January 7, 2018 Author Share Posted January 7, 2018 So I waited until sunday evening (now) and sent her a text asking if she was excited to start her new work placement tomorrow. She responded saying yes she was and had finished her essay so was really happy. I then said 'that's brilliant! Well done. Was wondering what your schedule is like this week, when are you free to get together again, would be nice to see you x' She said 'I have no idea yet as I don't know what my placement will expect me to do, teach or just observe this week! X' (she's a teacher trainee) So I said 'ok cool, let me know when you're free and we can arrange something then. Good luck with tomorrow! X' And all she put was 'Thanks!!' No kiss on the last one and didn't acknowledge my let me know text... Thinking this is a bad sign. Going to once again see if she reaches out - if she hasn't by Wednesday should I assume all bets are off? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 I don't think you should ASSUME anything with this one, but is she teaching in the evenings? Why wouldn't she know when she has an evening free, if not? Is she meaning she might have to prepare lesson plans in the evenings? Link to post Share on other sites
newyorker11356 Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 I don't think you should ASSUME anything with this one, but is she teaching in the evenings? Why wouldn't she know when she has an evening free, if not? Is she meaning she might have to prepare lesson plans in the evenings? That's what I was just about to post. She really doesn't know when she'd have a free evening? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sbla22 Posted January 7, 2018 Author Share Posted January 7, 2018 I don't think you should ASSUME anything with this one, but is she teaching in the evenings? Why wouldn't she know when she has an evening free, if not? Is she meaning she might have to prepare lesson plans in the evenings? She wont be teaching in the evenings but as you say might need to prep depending on what she finds out tomorrow. That'a the only benefit of the doubt I will give her. What put me off was that she didn't say anything like 'ok will let you know ' which she has done twice before... I also think if she really into me she would have offered one evening as a possibility. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sbla22 Posted January 7, 2018 Author Share Posted January 7, 2018 Ugh I'm feeling the familiar anxiety again now. I know it's stupid to let someone I've been on two dates with make me feel like this. I am reading life coach Corey Wayne's book at the minute and watching his videos and I know I have been the needy, insecure guy he constantly mentions. I'm trying to work hard to improve myself, just feels frustrating - I thought I had applied some of his advice with this girl but it feels like to me she wasn't interested in arranging the third date and I doubt I'll hear from her again now :/ Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 Ugh I'm feeling the familiar anxiety again now. I know it's stupid to let someone I've been on two dates with make me feel like this. I am reading life coach Corey Wayne's book at the minute and watching his videos and I know I have been the needy, insecure guy he constantly mentions. I'm trying to work hard to improve myself, just feels frustrating - I thought I had applied some of his advice with this girl but it feels like to me she wasn't interested in arranging the third date and I doubt I'll hear from her again now :/ You're being too negative. Stop it. You're basing this solely on the fact that she didn't say four words and give an X or a smiley face. You're catastrophizing when there is no need to catastrophize. I suggest you get online or on whatever app you use and find someone new to at least start messaging with to get your mind off this girl for a couple days. She may just be VERY busy and VERY preoccupied with her big day tomorrow. I say all this in love . 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sbla22 Posted January 7, 2018 Author Share Posted January 7, 2018 You're being too negative. Stop it. You're basing this solely on the fact that she didn't say four words and give an X or a smiley face. You're catastrophizing when there is no need to catastrophize. I suggest you get online or on whatever app you use and find someone new to at least start messaging with to get your mind off this girl for a couple days. She may just be VERY busy and VERY preoccupied with her big day tomorrow. I say all this in love . Thank you, I know you're right and I know my thinking is ridiculous. But I feel so anxious regardless! I tried to speak to other women but I'm finding it so tough to get matches at the minute and when I do they aren't responding or will respond once then not again so at the minute this girl is the only girl in my eyeline! It's funny though because before I got together with my last girlfriend that lasted 5 months, I had a few different options, I seemed to be getting plenty of matches and going on a few dates a month. Since I split up with my ex 9 weeks ago now this girl is the only girl I have met online that got even to the first date stage... Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 (edited) Ugh I'm feeling the familiar anxiety again now. I know it's stupid to let someone I've been on two dates with make me feel like this. I am reading life coach Corey Wayne's book at the minute and watching his videos and I know I have been the needy, insecure guy he constantly mentions. I'm trying to work hard to improve myself, just feels frustrating - I thought I had applied some of his advice with this girl but it feels like to me she wasn't interested in arranging the third date and I doubt I'll hear from her again now :/ I feel that this is worth mentioning. Several other guys on here are into Corey Wayne. What you all seem to have in common is that his advice doesn't seem to be helping (sorry) That and the constant analyzing and over-analyzing. It is almost uncanny frankly. I think you need to chill, OP. Ultimately because you can't MAKE someone whose interest is low, turn it around. If she gets back to you and you go on another date and she comes around, that is great. If not, well, that is dating, you took your chances, it's her loss, take your party somewhere else. (I hate to bombard you with cliches, but no one can get every possible person interested in him. Part of getting better in dating is accepting this and moving on.) Edited January 7, 2018 by Imajerk17 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 I feel that this is worth mentioning. Several other guys on here are into Corey Wayne. What you all seem to have in common is that his advice doesn't seem to be helping (sorry) That and the constant analyzing and over-analyzing. It is almost uncanny frankly. lol so true!!!! I didn't know if it was the same "guru" but I kinda figured. And yeah, his advice clearly does not work. Women want genuine men; not some contrived, banter-ridden, aloof version of themselves. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sbla22 Posted January 9, 2018 Author Share Posted January 9, 2018 Nothing from her since the 'thanks' been a day and a half... I deleted her number so can't contact her again, meaning she has to get in contact or this has died a death. Don't get why she text me after our second date and said to me I should text her to arrange anothet date if she wasn't interested? Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 lol so true!!!! I didn't know if it was the same "guru" but I kinda figured. And yeah, his advice clearly does not work. Women want genuine men; not some contrived, banter-ridden, aloof version of themselves. Agreed. The corey wayne stuff isn't working. The guys that try it actually seem to become MORE desperate because they think there is and they have a magic formula--meanwhile their own personal behavior is falling apart. OP, you can't take his advice in a bubble and expect it to work. First of all, you are placing too much importance on this one girl. The tone of her texts is that she is not interested or losing interest. You are definitely not a priority to her. That could be for a variety of reasons--they don't have to do with your worth as a person. Second before you jump into corey wayne and specific dating scenarios to try to win over some girl (your reactions are too extreme for sure!), you need to get your anxiety under control. There is so much negative thinking and worrying that it is a turnoff and you are ABSOLUTELY fooling yourself if you don't think this seeps through in your interactions with the girls you want to date. Even your most recent with this girl, you did the cursory check to find out about her school thing but it was a poorly disguised lead-in just so you could ask when you could take her out. Anxious people tend to be actually a LOT about their needs while putting the other person on this pedestal because they are afraid they will scatter off. Meanwhile there was NO personality at all and no connection in this most recent exchange--i've had better and more vibrant exchanges setting up my dentist appointments!! Sorry, not trying to hurt you but you won't get different results doing the same things. Your anxiety is running the show...and ruining it. Deal with that first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sbla22 Posted January 14, 2018 Author Share Posted January 14, 2018 Ugh, so she text me today after one full week of silence 'How has your first week back at work been? Sorry I've been so busy this week, it has just flown! X' I had deleted her number and assumed it was dead and buried. I was busy today so didn't respond for 5 hours - I wondered if I should reply at all but I thought what the hell. So we had a few back and forth messages - her messages much lengthier than they have been. Then I said 'do you fancy going to see a movie and food either wednesday or thursday?' To which she replied 'Wednesday might be ok but I'm being observed at work so I don't know, could be a crazy one haha x' So I said 'ok, well I'd rather leave it then as I don't really want to do a 'maybe date' ' She then said 'sorry but I don't want to say yes then have to cancel, surely you remember what it was like training to be a teacher? The work can pile up suddenly lol x' So I said 'yeah I do remember and it still piles up for me sometimes even now but I still make plans with someone if I want to see them. I think you're a nice person and I would like to get to know you more but if I'm wasting my time then it's no hard feelings' She said 'you aren't wasting your time, it's just so busy for me starting a new placement and I don't want to cancel on you' Then she tried to change the subject and asked me about my weekend and we sort of left it at that... So now I have no idea what she wants. I just don't get why she would even bother to text me after a week if she doesn't want to nail down a date but then tells me I'm not wasting my time? I'm gonna leave it again - if she wants to see me she can arrange something for this week - if she doesn't I will definitely delete and block this time or just say I wish her luck but this isn't for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sbla22 Posted January 15, 2018 Author Share Posted January 15, 2018 This has really pissed me off today. I was fine when I assumed it was all over but for her to give me hope then to be wishy washy again over date plans has annoyed me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 15, 2018 Share Posted January 15, 2018 This has really pissed me off today. I was fine when I assumed it was all over but for her to give me hope then to be wishy washy again over date plans has annoyed me. You're right. People will waste your time all day and night if you let them. They're not doing it deliberately to hurt you, they're just being selfish. You have to be clear about what you want and communicate that to them, which I think you did. Now you're free to let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
MaleIntuition Posted January 15, 2018 Share Posted January 15, 2018 She has at least some interest, otherwise she wouldn’t have contacted you. It’s tricky though, since she never offered a counter time. Last time she confirmed the plans last minutes if I remember correctly? I suppose your best bet is to keep the door open with her while you also look for other girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sbla22 Posted January 15, 2018 Author Share Posted January 15, 2018 There is some interest and I don't think she's seeing anyone else tbh. She just seems away with the fairys and doesn't realise how she's making me feel confused etc. But I said to leave it this week if she couldn't give me a concrete plan. She didnt seem too bothered. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 15, 2018 Share Posted January 15, 2018 There is some interest and I don't think she's seeing anyone else tbh. She just seems away with the fairys and doesn't realise how she's making me feel confused etc. But I said to leave it this week if she couldn't give me a concrete plan. She didnt seem too bothered. Read women's story on here and you'll see how we don't forget about a guy we like even when we're super busy. When we like someone we can't get enough of them and we message them and wait by our phone to hear from them. She is not 'that' interested in connecting with you, she is just liking the attention and an ego-boost to know there is a guy out there wanting to take her out. Next time you delete her number make sure you block it as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rkc2 Posted January 15, 2018 Share Posted January 15, 2018 There is some interest and I don't think she's seeing anyone else tbh. She just seems away with the fairys and doesn't realise how she's making me feel confused etc. But I said to leave it this week if she couldn't give me a concrete plan. She didnt seem too bothered. She just wants you around for attention. Until the next best thing comes around. She texted you to see if she still has you wrapped around her finger. You responded by trying to ask her out again and that just confirmed she's still got you. She's using you to boost her ego. Don't allow this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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