BaileyB Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 When he pointed out that he did all kinds of nice things for others, I said he wasn't doing them for me. He-the man I have seen several times a week for a month-said "I don't even know you." Like I'm not worthy of his Christian charity. Do you think he even realizes the hypocrisy? No. He does not. Whether you are strangers, acquaintances, or friends... He owes you kindness and respect. This guy is not a nice man. Be glad that you know this now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lamartine Posted December 22, 2017 Author Share Posted December 22, 2017 He wanted to have the conversation the next day because he was "tired." I'd been waiting all day for his call. Because I've spent this whole relationship accommodating him, and I insisted that we talk last night: I needed it. He then told me, repeatedly, that one of his problems with me is that I don't listen to him (i.e. when he said he wanted to delay the call). I didn't think this was going to upset me very much, but it has. I'm so sick of men who will take, take, take and then can't put their own wants on hold ben one time for a woman's benefit. I guess I'm just ranting now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 You've been on 3 dates with this man, you don't need any closure or conversations. Block him and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lamartine Posted December 22, 2017 Author Share Posted December 22, 2017 t's been a little more than that. I've been out with him 3-4 times a week for a month. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 t's been a little more than that. I've been out with him 3-4 times a week for a month. Oh sorry, my mistake. I read in your introduction 3 dates but that was posted a while ago. Link to post Share on other sites
jjgitties Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 He wanted to have the conversation the next day because he was "tired." I'd been waiting all day for his call. Because I've spent this whole relationship accommodating him, and I insisted that we talk last night: I needed it. He then told me, repeatedly, that one of his problems with me is that I don't listen to him (i.e. when he said he wanted to delay the call). I didn't think this was going to upset me very much, but it has. I'm so sick of men who will take, take, take and then can't put their own wants on hold ben one time for a woman's benefit. I guess I'm just ranting now. the guy is an abuser and will make you feel like **** 24/7. dump him and get away from him. (and with this, i am checking out of this thread. ) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 When he pointed out that he did all kinds of nice things for others, I said he wasn't doing them for me. Hmm... those are called "sour grapes". He-the man I have seen several times a week for a month-said "I don't even know you." "Yeah, I was thinking the very same thing about you..." Do you think he even realizes the hypocrisy? No. As long as what he does works for him, he's not going to do anything like self examination. He'll just believe his faith is all he needs to tell him he's right. Somewhere out there is a woman who is willing to twist herself up into a torturous pretzel to keep him. That woman isn't you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lamartine Posted December 22, 2017 Author Share Posted December 22, 2017 Ha, yes, I guess there was a sour grape or two involved... Link to post Share on other sites
Be_Strong Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 He needs a very submissive woman that will recognize his place as the head of the household and cater to his needs. I’ve never met a trial lawyer that would be able to fit that role, so you are definitely not the woman for him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 OP, One thing I have learned about Organized religion is that without fail,regardless of denomination or type, is that those who claim to be the most devout are usually the most intolerant of anything else. Stalin went to Orthodox Seminary school as a youth. HE considered himself devout at one time Hitler considered a career in the Catholic Church as a child, and saw himself at one point as a future priest. Pol Pot considered becoming a lay minister in his youth, and also considered chucking it all for the Catholic Church and priesthood for a short time when he left Cambodia for France to Study Just to point out to you that being "devout" does not always translate into living committed life of devotion to aiding our fellow man. If they have to keep reminding you how wonderful and pious they are, then they are probably not. You did fine to dump him. The whole "I'm too tired" Passive-Aggressive routine of this putz would have come back to haunt you in a major way 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jjgitties Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 OP, One thing I have learned about Organized religion is that without fail,regardless of denomination or type, is that those who claim to be the most devout are usually the most intolerant of anything else. Meh... blaming it on organized religion and brain washing is just jumping on the atheist band wagon what may very well be propped by by very young people who may very easily have a complete change of heart once science and technology fails them in the areas they expect to be supported in. Brain washing can also occur by mass media -- for all you know he may have been watching weird TV shows that never shown a feminine point of view or perspective on any situation. This fellow is messed up -- he would be messed up whether he did or did not go to church and attend mass. Attending church and being religious does not discriminate among people and you will find messed up controlling dominating manipulative people -- will be found everywhere -- among the atheist technophiles and the religious. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lamartine Posted December 22, 2017 Author Share Posted December 22, 2017 I guess I am just surprised that someone who professed such honor would ditch me the way this guy did. It makes me feel worthless...and that I fall short in my beliefs. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 I guess I am just surprised that someone who professed such honor would ditch me the way this guy did. It makes me feel worthless...and that I fall short in my beliefs. Do NOT let this nut live rent-free in your head. You're fine, you just got stuck with a dud, that's all. Happens to all of us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunlight72 Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 I didn't think this was going to upset me very much, but it has. I'm so sick of men who will take, take, take and then can't put their own wants on hold ben one time for a woman's benefit. I guess I'm just ranting now.I don't think you're ranting - I think you are vocalizing your new understanding of what you have witnessed, what it means, and what you will and won't acknowledge going forward. Sounds like progress. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BarbedFenceRider Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 It doesn't seem anything...it is controlling. Although if Eisenhower was still President it may seem more understandable as to why you were dating a creep. Do you live in the Bible Belt? When some guy in his 40's starts asking you for a "Biblical Reason" for anything I would expect the guy to be Norman Bates and have his embalmed Mother in a chair in the basement. RUN! Late to the party but I had to give a star for this post. I just blew blueberries all over the computer screen. Hilarity! Link to post Share on other sites
BarbedFenceRider Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 t's been a little more than that. I've been out with him 3-4 times a week for a month. Well, to be fair to both of you...Technically you can't call what the hell he was doing consisted of a real date.lol Regardless, just ghost his ass and move on. Drop the zero, go for the hero. Hope the next one puts a smile on your face. You deserve it girl! Happy holidays... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lamartine Posted December 22, 2017 Author Share Posted December 22, 2017 Thank you all. Once again, you pulled me through! This would have been nothing but a controlling situation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 I guess I am just surprised that someone who professed such honor would ditch me the way this guy did. It makes me feel worthless...and that I fall short in my beliefs. Your beliefs are not in question here. Your ability to live up to the tenets are not in question here. HE is the problem. He is, IMO, abusive, and of course he's going to ticker-tape your shortfallings and make you feel worthless, used, a licked cupcake, unwanted. I just think that within your faith-base, the man you meet will accept your "shortcomings" and not work to break you, but work to strengthen you and your convictions and support you and love you anyway. We are all flawed. It's normal to feel like crap after a breakup, no matter how long you've been going out. You second guess yourself. You feel bad for hurting the other person, and they can lash out and make you feel like YOU were the problem. You know very well HE is the problem. You'll bounce back from this faster than you realize. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted December 23, 2017 Share Posted December 23, 2017 Late to the party but I had to give a star for this post. I just blew blueberries all over the computer screen. Hilarity! Just doing my civic duty. Link to post Share on other sites
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