This guy I met is too eager ?

[Fruitee]

Thanks for everyone for comments. I finally understood this weekend what is it that I dont like about him and turned out it wasnt him being eager beaver but he is just how to say it.. too ignorant for me. Maybe I need someone more sophisticated. So yeah you guys were correct by saying that its not the problem that he is too eager, the problem is him not being suitable candicate for me.

[morrowrd]

You could go either way with this. There are those guys who swoop in with flowers, gifts, texts, phone calls, "surprise" visits with even more surprises under their arms, and it can look either pathetic or endearing. If you look up the red flags of an abuser, it really doesn't differ much with someone in love, minus of course the abuse. I joke about that at times with my fiancee, after reading the "signs of an abuser" on a website. And in vise-versa, she would be an abuser herself.

 

I realize abuse has nothing to do with any of this, was just an analogy of perspective/perception.

 

I have swooped in, flowers and gifts myself in the past. And in this relationship's beginnings, somewhat as well. The male pursuit of the woman he wants, in many ways I think has common denominators. (meaning I think alot of men swoop in.) If the woman happens to be interested, none of that behavior is unwelcomed. If they aren't interested however, OR are sort of interested in giving a few dates a chance and see where it leads, the "swooping" can probably be annoying...even stalkingish feeling.

 

Being a former swooper, I can tell you from the man's perspective that the "good guys" are trying to win a chance to be with you. The "bad guys" are trying to get you to take the bait hook-line-and sinker so they can possess and control you.

 

I always thought the dating world was easier for women in my younger days. Being simply female gave you millions of options while being male meant having to beat out the competition and stand out, to win your chance with someone you (and ten other guys) were interested in. Now I don't see it that way.... it's easier for the men in some respects. While men tend to not have the same number of "right swipes" as probably women do, women have to filter out the hundreds of messages using guesswork and intuition, before continuing the filtering process. And in the end, go out on dates, wasting precious time giving someone a chance, only to find out it's a game.

 

It happens to men as well, but for the most part I believe the norm is women filter, men try to convince them they're the real one this time.

 

A man with good intentions trying to romance you, will respect your wishes for space if you communicate that.

Edited November 5, 2017 by morrowrd

[morrowrd]

Thanks for everyone for comments. I finally understood this weekend what is it that I dont like about him and turned out it wasnt him being eager beaver but he is just how to say it.. too ignorant for me. Maybe I need someone more sophisticated. So yeah you guys were correct by saying that its not the problem that he is too eager, the problem is him not being suitable candicate for me.

 

I wrote my response after reading the first original post. Then I saw this one..

glad you were able to figure it all out.