Approched my gym crush

[toomanyquestions123]

I agree, it sucked. I wish it went better but it did not. I feel like I gave him a terrible vibe. It is really hard to feel comftorable and flirt again, with someone other then a guy I spent 6 years with. I want to but I just don't know what to say, and I really like the guy so he makes me nervous to the point where I literally feel like my hands are shaking a bit.

LOL & it doesn't help that he is the same way.

 

I am usually a confident person, but idk maybe I am judging myself too much buy overthinking everything.

 

I will talk to him next time I see him and try my best to have a normal human conversation. Ughhh

 

Keep us updated & if he didnt take your number, I am sure there are plenty of cuties in this crowded gym

[hercules22]

ask him for advice on a certain exercise then work up a conversation while pretending to learn what to do ?

[OnlyHonesty]

Gay possibly? I don’t know any straight guy who wouldn’t escalate with a girl he likes, especially when she has given him so many hints.

 

 

Not all guys are as easy as most women think. Also, those boring, very standard conversations didn't help.

 

If a girl is going to approach, she should make it interesting and flirty. I think a lot of women are too busy thinking that saying hello is enough simply because they happen to be women, and expect men to be falling at their feet (IF NOT HE MUST BE GAY).

 

She said she's used to guys approaching and asking for her number, but there is probably more to it than she thought, she just didn't see what the guy had to do to make her want to give him her number. The humour, confidence, vibe, subtle flirt, eye contact, touching, energy. Did a guy just come over and say ''Hi, will you give me your number?'' I doubt it...

 

Imagine a guy saying he approached a girl at the gym, got into a dead boring conversation, dropped hints...zero flirting and then said ''guess she must be a lesbian''....sound preposterous doesn't it.....sounds almost narcissistic...

Edited October 16, 2017 by OnlyHonesty

[Cersei]

ask him for advice on a certain exercise then work up a conversation while pretending to learn what to do ?

 

I am not a fan of this approach, sorry. She has been going to the gym for a long time and likely knows most of the equipment. So she may come across as a bubble head.

 

I think her best bet it to try to "cooincidentally" leave at the same time and strike up a conversation. Then just say "got time for a quick coffee?"

 

If he says he is in a rush and can't then see if he looks disappointed and suggests some other time. If he does not, then waste no more mental space on him.

 

Thoughts on this approach?

[Tiga]

Just wanted to get your opinion. October was the last time I saw him at the gym. Wondering if I scared him of or what the heck happened? If he was interested he would’ve got my number before switching gyms, at least that is my opinion. It left me feeling crappy because I liked the guy and thought he liked me.

 

 

I don’t get it.

 

I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

[rightondude]

maybe he got injured or put together a home gym (why I don't go to the gym anymore...hey maybe this guy was me!!! ). Maybe you missed your chance, but keep going to the gym!

[Tiga]

So as I mentioned above he either switched gyms or something happened because I haven’t seen him in 2 months. But I have an Instagram and as i looked at my suggested tab I saw his ig. His page is private and we have a mutual friend in common. This is awkward. I am sure he saw me on there but hasn’t added me. I haven’t added him either but he keeps popping up as a suggested friend. Idk if I should request him or send him a message that says “hey are you the guy from the gym”? I just don’t want it to be stalker-ish because all of a sudden im adding him on instagram when he stopped going to the gym. Or should I just wait until he adds me if he ever does?

[Teddius]

" You're embarrassed of me." I maybe wrong, but it sounds like nothing more than a sarcastic icebreaker.

[introverted1]

You have nothing to lose but pride at this point. It's highly unlikely he's going to reach out to you, so if you are willing to take a risk, go ahead and add him. And then ask him out. Worst that can happen is that he says no. At least you''ll have an answer and can quit thinking about it.

[olivetree]

I think you should let this one go.

I think if you two were meant to be there would have been more flow in your interaction, and he'd be pursuing you more.

 

Your entire attraction is pretty much physical, and I think it's kind of a misplaced attraction that comes out after heartbreak.

As in, you're just so happy to feel attracted to someone else again, you're obsessing over the object of your attraction.

 

I think it served it's purpose of helping you move on from your ex, but it's time to move onto something real.

[Tiga]

So I ended up sending him a message basically asking him if he was the guy from the gym we go to and that he was suggested since we have a friend in common. Just recently sent it and waiting on a reply.

 

So I guess we will see. I thought about it and I figured I have nothing to lose. I think I was too focused on thinking “I will lose my pride” but that’s insane. There is nothing wrong with me sending a message to a guy that i think I know. I don’t think it was too aggressive to send that message as the content of the message wasn’t flirtatious or me asking him out.

[barbossa]

Hello all,

 

So this guy has been looking at me at the gym constantly and smiling. It's been a few months now, but he would look away when I see him. So I figured he was shy or he was just nice and did not want to know more about me.

 

Anyway, I thought he was so cute and I liked him but I have a natural RBF and I am usually there just to get a good workout in. I tried to smile back a few times but got the vibe that he was super shy. I am kind of shy myself when approaching a guy.

 

I never approach guys first and have never talked to a guy at the gym.

 

Anyway, I did not see him in a few days and it was bugging me. I told myself I will say hey when I see him...sooooo,

Today, I see him.

 

I saw him from a distance looking at me so I made eye contact and smiled at him, he smiled back.

 

Anyway, I went to a machine that was right behind him and I saw him smiling when he noticed I was there.

 

So here he comes and gets on the machine next to mine. HAHA. & he keeps looking over.

 

I look at him and he has this cheesing SMILE from eat to ear and waves at me. He is literally 3 feet away. LOL. but stil has his headphones in, so I smile and say hey.

 

He is all fidgety and keeps smiling lol, go to the water fountain and comes back haha. So here we are both smiling at each other and just thinking wtf is going on. But none of us are approaching one another. SOOO, I decide to approach him and introduce myself.

 

I go up to him and say HI, IM ...... and as I am saying that he is taking his headphones off and is saying "you are embarrassed of me" LOL

 

Anyway we start talking and get a convo going, we talk about where we are from, the gym, he asks me do I compete and says you look great and your are jacked lol. I say thanks. So I don't know why, I ended the convo by saying ok well nice to meet you and I will see you around lol.

 

I was hoping he would ask for my number but he did not. He was smiling and cheesing the entire time btw. lol and he was nervous.

 

 

Sooooo, I feel like I opened the door now. Why would he say that I'm embarrassed of him? LOL he is embarrassed of me, I went up to him he didn't make a move, well he did wave and smile lol.

 

I liked him, he was handsome and funny and I had butterflied.

 

Any input on this would be great. Also any ideas next time we speak would be great, I have been out of the dating game a while.

 

Actually it is your RBF that could have prevented him from making a move previously. Sometimes i see a girl I want to talk to and I do or don't based entirely on if she has a RBF. I consider myself confident However a RBF is the worst thing to see. I'd rather not deal with a Beach attitude. even if she has a perfect body. To the best of my knowledge i have yet to meet a girl with a RBF that has a great personality and is friendly anyway,

 

be aware of your RBF and lose it

[Tiga]

Actually it is your RBF that could have prevented him from making a move previously. Sometimes i see a girl I want to talk to and I do or don't based entirely on if she has a RBF. I consider myself confident However a RBF is the worst thing to see. I'd rather not deal with a Beach attitude. even if she has a perfect body. To the best of my knowledge i have yet to meet a girl with a RBF that has a great personality and is friendly anyway,

 

be aware of your RBF and lose it

 

 

 

You are probably right. I really don’t mean to have an RBF, but I do. On a side note, I am actually really nice when I get to know someone. But I have guy friends and even girl friends that told me they thought I was mean and a b.... when they met me because of my face. So I am trying to smile more. Thanks!

[Tiga]

Sooooo no response. He hasn’t read it yet or hasn’t approved my direct message because we are not friends. He has been online because the number of his followers changed. Ok I am done trying to see what is going on with this guy. Time to move on.

 

His profile pic is his dog next to him (head to head) and he is making a kissy face. My sis says he might be gay. I refused to believe that based on his interaction with me at the gym but maybe I am wrong. Straight guys joke with the kissy face but having that as your main picture next to your dog maybe my sis is right.

 

Any gay guys here that can give me some insight?

 

All of my friends say if he doesn’t respond he must be gay because you are way too hot for him not to respond.

 

Anyway, it is weird. Wow I still don’t think he is gay, but if he is it would be nice for him to at least reply and tell me.

[Tiga]

Any thoughts on the above post ^^. Is he gay? No response from him .

 

 

Thanks

[Frostedflake]

I wouldn't assume the guy is gay for showing his dog affection. Plenty of people have a soft spot for their pets.

 

But are all of his profile details private?

He might already be in a relationship or something and not want the trouble of adding the gym crush.

[Highndry]

He's not into you. Nothing else matters.

[Art_Critic]

if you messaged him on FB then you have to realize that FB doesn't give an alert that he has a message unless you are friends it also sits in a folder that he has to open to see the message so you might as well never messaged him.

 

Friend him, that will get his attention, then message him.

[Tiga]

He's not into you. Nothing else matters.

 

Maybe.... but it’s like he smiled, waved, talked to me a few times at the gym asked me what I was doing one day and my age. Gave me compliments and etc. he never talked to anyone else at the gym that I have seen nor do I ever talk to anyone but he was way to obvious just staring so I decided to speak to him.

 

Sooo I do t get it.

[Tiga]

if you messaged him on FB then you have to realize that FB doesn't give an alert that he has a message unless you are friends it also sits in a folder that he has to open to see the message so you might as well never messaged him.

 

Friend him, that will get his attention, then message him.

 

It’s on Instagram, very similar protocol though on messages. It goes into a different folder if you are not friends with the person. Idk... I messed up I should’ve just added him. It doesn’t say that he has read the message though.

[Tiga]

Found out that he has a gf. Saw a picture of them on his brothers public profile. The pic is from this week. Maybe he did not have a gf at the time he was flirting with me or he did and that is why he did not ask for my number. But I know why he did not reply now. Maybe he is scared and doesn’t want to cheat, which I respect.

 

It all makes sense now.

[hercules22]

even if you message someone on facebook and you are not friends they will get a notification that a random person messaged them it just whether they choose to accept the request aka open the message . he would seen it just ignored it

 

i have messaged random girls that i dont have as friends and they see the message all the time

[AndreaRiley]

Go to him for advice, chat him up in between sets and ask him if you can do shoulders (or any muscle EXCEPT legs) together. If he is a fitness nut, he hates girls who only work legs and abs and nothing else. Hope everything works out!

[Frostedflake]

Found out that he has a gf.

 

Eyyy. I win.

[Tiga]

He replied today, said he just saw the message and asked how I was.

He requested me as a friend right away. I haven’t replied yet.

 

I assumed he had a gf because I saw a girl standing next to him but it could be a friend or family member. Anyway, just wanted to give you guys an update.