coolheadal Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 I'm sorry but the irony is killing me over here. You said you conform to almost no Asian-American sterotype except you're good at math yet you stated that you are half Chinese and half Irish and German. The math does not work out here, my friend. The math means he's good with number counting! Next No. Giril.. LOL But he's suppose to be engineer so numbers and math are needed. As a programmer code is base on numbers as well but the language of words can be describe as a way to communication with the AI. Link to post Share on other sites
Mike B. Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 "Irish and German" is used as a phrase, thus it is perfectly acceptable. You order half vanilla and half peaches and cream. Not half vanilla, quarter peaches, quarter cream... I knew you would say that. Lol. Hey, man, I'm just teasing you. I don't want to geek out on you here. I know what you meant. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 I'm going to echo some of the previous posts. As a second date, while I appreciate you wanting to invite her to the thing and go out after, it leaves her sitting alone for the night, and it would seem natural to me to bring a friend along. We have the added situation of a friend from out of town (country) visiting, and she can't very well leave him behind for a date, that would be rude, but she doesn't want to lose momentum with you, and is probably pretty pleased you invited her into your world. I say just go with the flow and see how the evening plays out. Nowhere in this exchange did I assume that this woman is expecting you to cover dinner and drinks for all three of you. I hope that doesn't turn out to be the case. I hope you can find time for some one-on-one in the next two weeks you are busy beyond all reason. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Yes we did make out and I think it is odd. I guess I also put her in a weird position. Seeing someone perform in their band is an awful second date. You barely know each other and you're barely able to talk for much of the night. I usually never invite a girl until we've slept together. But I really didn't see any other opportunity to see her for a couple weeks and I would rather have less than ideal circumstances for a second date than to not see her at all. I just didn't expect it to be this weird when I decided to ask... Dude i agree with bolded. You sure are the master of the humble brag. I agree with whoever said you know less about women then you act like. It's kinda transparent. Oh, what was the question? What do you really want to know or are you using your threads as an opportunity to brag about your exploits. Like I said, completely transparent. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 I'm going to echo some of the previous posts. As a second date, while I appreciate you wanting to invite her to the thing and go out after, it leaves her sitting alone for the night, and it would seem natural to me to bring a friend along. We have the added situation of a friend from out of town (country) visiting, and she can't very well leave him behind for a date, that would be rude, but she doesn't want to lose momentum with you, and is probably pretty pleased you invited her into your world. I say just go with the flow and see how the evening plays out. Nowhere in this exchange did I assume that this woman is expecting you to cover dinner and drinks for all three of you. I hope that doesn't turn out to be the case. I hope you can find time for some one-on-one in the next two weeks you are busy beyond all reason. I agree too leave the guy from out of town behind! Why would you OP ever consider taking the guy friend along. I feel they have been more than friends too bed wise. Have you ask this woman OP what is the living arrangements with her so called friend? I seen no else as mentioned that fact except for me. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 I agree too leave the guy from out of town behind! Why would you OP ever consider taking the guy friend along. I feel they have been more than friends too bed wise. Have you ask this woman OP what is the living arrangements with her so called friend? I seen no else as mentioned that fact except for me. You'd leave a visitor from the Czech Republic at home while you went to a bar? That's rude. If he's got other people to visit, or things to do, great, but you don't just go out without him, not to a gig at a bar. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 I agree too leave the guy from out of town behind! Why would you OP ever consider taking the guy friend along. I feel they have been more than friends too bed wise. Have you ask this woman OP what is the living arrangements with her so called friend? I seen no else as mentioned that fact except for me. You misread my post or you're responding to someone else and quoted me by mistake. I never said it would be okay to leave an out of town guest behind. It depends on the relationship and the dynamics of this relationship, and possibly whether or not there are other friends and family who can entertain and keep company with him. When you agree to take on visitors, you put your normal life on hold. You are the host. How you manage the dynamics as a host is up to you, but it's generally rude to leave your guests behind while you go romp, and the whole point is spending time with your far away friends you hardly see. Obviously with a boy/girl friendship, everyone is wondering if there's more to this relationship than meets the eye, and certainly the OP can pay attention to this, the vibe, the dynamics, but at this point we have no reason to believe anything other than what is presented at face value. This is an out of town guest, she would like to see her date/new love interest, and she has to deal with this guest at the same time. An opportunity presented itself that allowed her to do both. End of story. Maybe this turns into a disaster, maybe not. The OP opened up a window of opportunity in his busy schedule with this woman, an opportunity that is not ideal, but we work with what we've got, and the woman he's dating is doing the same. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
oldbutcurious Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 The sad paranoid world that some of you live in, makes me pity you... we had the same reaction..." 2 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 You'd leave a visitor from the Czech Republic at home while you went to a bar? That's rude. If he's got other people to visit, or things to do, great, but you don't just go out without him, not to a gig at a bar. Who leave, it's not me silly,. the OP why would you bring a guy along with you on a second date so call friend from out of town. Friend which type Boy Friend, Guy Friend (who is he). Last time I gone on a date it was just me and GF. Who would bring a 3rd wheel with us. I don't care if he's visiting. When guys go out as friends they can bring who they want usually other guys. How is it rude to leave this guy at her place. So you going to say bring him everywhere? What happens if they want to make out in the car/suv/truck etc. What does the guy from outer town do? Sit in the vehicle and watches them. That's rude. He shouldn't go on their date. Date (2) not Date (3). Come on now, get with the program LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 I find that ... Well this is how I see it ... So you two met, she has this guy friend staying with her. If I were in that situation (as in if I was the woman in question) I would be honest and say to you (the man I am interested in) that I have a friend visiting for a few days, but after they leave I will get back to you, I promise. It would avoid an odd situation or make either parties feel as if something is not right. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 The thing is, she is bringing this friend because, he is just a friend. If they were doin each other she would have declined the date and never said anything. This friend is obviously a true friend, and she is making it clear (IMO) that this guy is a part of her life as a friend. Everyone just assumes because their parts can go together they must be having sex. But by all means if that is what the OP wants to believe then he shouldn't go out with her after the gig. Call it a night and never talk to her again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 It seems pretty simple to me from what we have read. She likes him back and wants to see him but already has committed to company. She is a people pleaser and wants everyone happy (herself too). I am female and have some out of town friends with a penis. I have known them for years and have never been more than friends. Ever! It is possible. If she was sleeping with him, would she bring him? Doubtful. To the OP guy, please keep us posted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 I really don't get this situation. So the only date available is while you are playing in a band and the girl has a visitor in town? What's the rush? If you were interested I'm her I'm sure you could find one evening in the week that you are free. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 I agree. In fact if I were OP I would tell her that she's welcome to come see him play but he wants her to feel comfortable and since she has a guest in town maybe they could see each other on the next day she's free for dinner & drinks. She already seems to have high interest!!! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CryForNoOne Posted October 8, 2017 Author Share Posted October 8, 2017 I really don't get this situation. So the only date available is while you are playing in a band and the girl has a visitor in town? What's the rush? If you were interested I'm her I'm sure you could find one evening in the week that you are free. Busy schedules. She is free mostly weekends and I am free mostly weeknights. Also, she is about 15 miles away, which in LA traffic means meeting before 9PM is impractical unless you want to sit in your car over 1 hour. I didn't know she had a visitor in town when I asked. When I asked her, I phrased it so that I was specifically inviting her out for dinner or drinks AFTER the gig. I stated matter-of-factly that I had a gig beforehand. I won't say she invited herself to the gig - I definitely put it out there, but I made it clear that was not the main event. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CryForNoOne Posted October 8, 2017 Author Share Posted October 8, 2017 Dude i agree with bolded. You sure are the master of the humble brag. I agree with whoever said you know less about women then you act like. It's kinda transparent. Oh, what was the question? What do you really want to know or are you using your threads as an opportunity to brag about your exploits. Like I said, completely transparent. I think it was pretty clear I found it odd she accepted and was wondering what others thought about the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CryForNoOne Posted October 8, 2017 Author Share Posted October 8, 2017 She arrived with her friend just after my gig started. They were exchange students 10 years ago and each stayed at the other's house for a semester. They stayed in touch an remain good friends. He's quite handsome but completely non-threatening. I wasn't the slightest bit concerned about that anyway. I think too many on LS assume the worst. It was obviously not a dynamic to try to steer the evening towards romance, so I invited both of them to dinner along with one of my friends. The four of us went to Korean BBQ. The hilarity is that she is vegan and at no point did she mention this until after we arrived. So she didn't eat - she said she wasn't hungry anyway. I basically treated it as 4 friends just going to dinner. I texted her yesterday thanking her for being a good sport about the "date" and made a joke about the whole situation. We both had a laugh about it. Then she told me that her Czech friend is going to SD next week to visit her sister and invited me to "hang out". We don't know the day yet so she'll keep me posted. But the non-date meetup didn't kill whatever chemistry we've got going on... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 Interesting. Glad to hear you had a fun time regardless. I'm just curious. She said hang out sometime next week..but no date set. Is that typical for dating these days? Because I would take it as a sign of disinterest but people say I'm too stringent about these things? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CryForNoOne Posted October 8, 2017 Author Share Posted October 8, 2017 Interesting. Glad to hear you had a fun time regardless. I'm just curious. She said hang out sometime next week..but no date set. Is that typical for dating these days? Because I would take it as a sign of disinterest but people say I'm too stringent about these things? Nothing seems typical these days. "Let's hang" really depends on context. In this case I had a very busy weekend and texted her just to say hi and didn't ask her out. She mentioned her friend "might visit my sister in SD sometime next week if you're free and want to hang out." So she was asking me out but didn't know the date yet. She clearly has an obligation to host her friend but wants to see me one-on-one next time. As an aside, I've actually found that "hang out" is often code for "let's hookup", especially if she says "come over and hang out" or "come over and chill". It's not clear to me that she is saying that this time though it's possible. I never use let's hang or let's chill because I do agree that is a somewhat lukewarm thing for a guy to say to a girl. When the tables are turned, I think the connotation is completely different though... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 I think it was pretty clear I found it odd she accepted and was wondering what others thought about the situation. Hmmm, if you say so. I was talking about the totality of your threads of which this one is just another example--actually TBH it is one of the more truly humble vs other threads but a fair amount of bragging. It feels like you are using your threads more as a diary of your dating life rather than any real question. For the record, i don't think a lot of people thought the "worst" about this dating scenario--I certainly didn't--I think her friend was in town and she couldn't leave him at home with nothing to do & that she might feel uncomfortable going to a "gig" alone anyway so it worked out for her this way. If you weren't worried about him or you being the 3rd wheel, then why the post? Yeah that goes back to my original point. And those familiar with LA TBH, I have to call you out about "gigs" that happen on westside. Those are more like music as a hobby rather than a real or up and coming band---sorry just saying! Glad you are excited about it and had a fun time. Just pointing out that if you are trying to sell the idea that you have an edgy life with girls rolling in and out of it and so into you that they will drag some other guy on the date, that's not exactly what is happening here. I do hope you find your girl (or if it's this one that it goes that way)--a truly more humble CryforNoOne might be the ticket is basically what I'm saying. Good luck 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 Nothing seems typical these days. "Let's hang" really depends on context. In this case I had a very busy weekend and texted her just to say hi and didn't ask her out. She mentioned her friend "might visit my sister in SD sometime next week if you're free and want to hang out." So she was asking me out but didn't know the date yet. She clearly has an obligation to host her friend but wants to see me one-on-one next time. As an aside, I've actually found that "hang out" is often code for "let's hookup", especially if she says "come over and hang out" or "come over and chill". It's not clear to me that she is saying that this time though it's possible. I never use let's hang or let's chill because I do agree that is a somewhat lukewarm thing for a guy to say to a girl. When the tables are turned, I think the connotation is completely different though... I wasn't really focusing on the "hang out" so much. These days it is seen as a more casual way to say "have a date", but usually when things are promising there is a date set up relatively soon. I just wouldn't think 2 people interested in each other would leave things so up in the air unless they were not free for more than a week in which case they'd say "I want to hang out again but I'll be out of town for two weeks. I'll contact you when I'm back to set things up." ? "If it's a week or less and someone says "maybe let's hang out sometime next week if you're free" doesn't sound very promising. But maybe she is more traditional and wants you to take the reins? Idk Link to post Share on other sites
Author CryForNoOne Posted October 8, 2017 Author Share Posted October 8, 2017 Hmmm, if you say so. I was talking about the totality of your threads of which this one is just another example--actually TBH it is one of the more truly humble vs other threads but a fair amount of bragging. It feels like you are using your threads more as a diary of your dating life rather than any real question. For the record, i don't think a lot of people thought the "worst" about this dating scenario--I certainly didn't--I think her friend was in town and she couldn't leave him at home with nothing to do & that she might feel uncomfortable going to a "gig" alone anyway so it worked out for her this way. If you weren't worried about him or you being the 3rd wheel, then why the post? Yeah that goes back to my original point. And those familiar with LA TBH, I have to call you out about "gigs" that happen on westside. Those are more like music as a hobby rather than a real or up and coming band---sorry just saying! Glad you are excited about it and had a fun time. Just pointing out that if you are trying to sell the idea that you have an edgy life with girls rolling in and out of it and so into you that they will drag some other guy on the date, that's not exactly what is happening here. I do hope you find your girl (or if it's this one that it goes that way)--a truly more humble CryforNoOne might be the ticket is basically what I'm saying. Good luck The bolded is often true. I find that just writing out my thoughts often gives me clarity on a situation. Sometimes I also get useful advice, sometimes I don't. As for the Westside music scene, you are correct. Hollywood is where all the aspiring musicians are. I've never suggested that I'm part of an up-and coming band or an aspiring rock star. I have a successful career that I'm not going to give up. I'm an established musician and gig and tour regularly but its for fun. It is basically my only social outlet. So call it humble brag or whatever but it's my world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 The bolded is often true. I find that just writing out my thoughts often gives me clarity on a situation. Sometimes I also get useful advice, sometimes I don't. As for the Westside music scene, you are correct. Hollywood is where all the aspiring musicians are. I've never suggested that I'm part of an up-and coming band or an aspiring rock star. I have a successful career that I'm not going to give up. I'm an established musician and gig and tour regularly but its for fun. It is basically my only social outlet. So call it humble brag or whatever but it's my world. Great. I think the added perspective helps people give useful advice. When you first started posting, since you mainly focus on talking about being a musician, being a regular/barfly-ish for you and the girls you are interested in, I thought it sounded a little fictionalized but if I was taking you at your word believed it was all going on in Hollywood or East side, which is more the scene and personalities you are describing. TBH, if you are going after a girl who cares that a guy is in a band of whatever level, you are hanging out in the wrong place if you are looking for them on the westside. So I was surprised that you presented it one way and then one day mentioned westside in one of your posts--fiction or exaggeration confirmed. And also I appreciate that you've come clean about using this somewhat as a diary to organize your thoughts--because people give you advice assuming you want or need it, when its pretty clear to me at least that you think you are fine and don't really believe you want or need any, such as suggesting people here think the "worst" when they are answering a thread you posed. I do think you write in your "diary" about women a bit more as conquests (or a little dramatically) than it probably warrants but like you said it's your world. Since you really value your social stuff with music and seem to want to find love and a girl who will value you for your identity, I really think you should hang out on east side or hollywood a bit more--this is no diss to westside, which I love but it is what it is and you're more likely to find a girl who will appreciate you for who you are over there. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 And also I appreciate that you've come clean about using this somewhat as a diary to organize your thoughts--because people give you advice assuming you want or need it, when its pretty clear to me at least that you think you are fine and don't really believe you want or need any, such as suggesting people here think the "worst" when they are answering a thread you posed. OP, there is a journaling section that may make more sense if you want to just use this more like a diary, rather than ask people for help. LoveShack.org Community Forums - Journals 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 I would kind of be annoyed with this girl I totally understand why she wants to bring a friend but to bring a male friend kills the whole vibe. She sounds kind of clueless. Awkward! Even if the guy is visiting from czech, I'm sure she could've arranged this a little more conducively to romance. I get that her seeing you play in your band isnt a great date idea, but you tried.... unfortunately she just kind of killed the whole vibe by bringing a guy An extreme analogy for this would be having hot, passionate sex with someone only for them to pick up the phone when their mom calls CryForNoOne, dont worry about the whole ethnicity debate. I understand where you're coming from. I'm mostly Italian but a little Swedish and I identify with the my Italian heritage more than the Swed. I didnt inherit one gene from the Swedish side. You dont need to explain your heritage to anyone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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